"Legal moment" should lead into the problem that's trying to be solved. There are promises made, yet people leave. this is causing regulatory scrutiny. We discovered a better way of doing this that scales. Going right from there to a puppet show of a simple revnet anatomy
Parenthetical, move the story of the upcoming projects to meet the team. i.e. get rid of
Add emojis to help picture. It's too wordy and needs visualizations and metaphore.
"it solves this specific problem, in this way" as clear as possible in the TLDR.
in "overview" section give the reader a sense of where the rest of the text will go.
tokenized projects are succeptible to a team abandoning promises and community for an easy payout with little to no consequences. commonly thought of as pump and dump. Dump on retail. Investor and team dump on retail. Insider and team dump on retail, abandoning implicit and explicit promises of future development and vision.
Revnets incentivize long term sustainable growth, transparency, clear rules. without relying upon distributed and messy governance succeptible to negligence and overreach and insider manipulation.
Add one clear well-known case study.
Don't love the C-corp, DAO juxtaposition. Stick with "we're in the business of crypto", let historians figure out how it relates to legal entities.
This is a serious proposal to clarify rules for fair growth-oriented distribution.
TLDR seem conclusory. dont need conclusory. lets explain specifically what the problem is and how revnets address it.
"These require a greater fool to buy and hold the bag, while other cash out, creating opaque ponzinomics with backdoors for insiders".
Re-asses entity history. Maybe instead go with economic history: "Corporation separated management from owners… in this way we're also doing a thing". Prioritize stories.
"here's your traditional P&L accounting format. we're doing it differently".
correct analysis is game theory. analyse typical token launch from a game theoretic perspective. energy-capture dilemma.
start with a quote from a famous credible person.
"Revnets are the SAFE and C-Corp agreements of this economy but 100x better." => "Revnets are the equity agreements, accounting sheets, loyatly points of this economy but 100x better."?
Read PR: https://github.com/rev-net/pitch/blob/mejango-patch-1/pitch.md
Notes: