# Episode 37- Pain in the Smoothbrain


A word of encouragement for audience and crew who may be down on their luck- Does everything you do seem to be going wrong? **Keep up the good work:** https://files.catbox.moe/7r8zaq.mp4

## NYC Update- Mouth Fulla Panties Edition

- [Attractive NYPD Sergeant Sgt. Ann Marie Guerra Accused Of Putting Panties In Cop’s Mouth](https://archive.is/n3MqY#selection-657.0-657.66)
- "Detective Victor Falcon complained she was leaving her underwear all over the unisex locker room. Sources tell The Post that’s when the 38-year-old married mother of two yelled out “They are f-ing clean!” then shoved a pair of her panties into his mouth."
- "In a fit of rage, defendant Guerra ignored all protocol (**there's... a protocol for this??? LOL**), retrieved her soiled underwear and violently shoved them into Falcon's mouth and then aggressively rubbed them all over Falcon's face."
- Remind you of anyone??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TXZVo63UH4 (play 00:30)

- Complaints were filed, articles were written, surely this harpy was brought to justice... right??
- [Sgt Ann Marie Guerra, the NYPD cop who shoved her soiled panties in the mouth of her male subordinate, is all set to get a promotion and a raise.](https://archive.is/fbY39#selection-287.0-287.145)
- "official paperwork shows that Guerra is being promoted to sergeant supervisor detective squad with a starting annual salary of $120,400, around $2,000 more than her current .......................package."

## Not only will you eat ze bugz, you've been eating zem all along!

[Strawberries are packed with bugs, disgusting microscope videos reveal](https://archive.is/oQ4cA#selection-1253.3-1253.73)
https://archive.is/LUkMn

- Invasive gook fruit fly Drosophila suzukii larva
- "female spotted wing drosophilas lay eggs inside perfect, ripe and undamaged fruit"
- “This species is able to make a very fine incision that can’t be seen with a naked eye and lays its eggs in there. When the picker gets the fruit, they can’t even see that there’s an egg because it’s deep in the fruit”
- “That’s why it escapes detection, and it’s not possible to detect that a fruit has been infested,”
- "Bugs and maggots may crawl out of strawberries washed in saltwater."
- **BONUS!** [(FACTORY) BREAD CONTAINS A PROTEIN DERIVED FROM HUMAN HAIR](https://archive.is/NtT5Q#selection-1493.0-1493.48)
- L-Cysteine – an amino acid used to prolong shelf-life in products such as commercial bread- sourced from chink salons and barbershops.

## CLIPS!

- African American eyesore: https://files.catbox.moe/7stwpf.mp4
- How would YOU spend a day as a manlet?: https://files.catbox.moe/sv50bt.mp4
- Got uppity politicians questioning the narrative?: https://files.catbox.moe/faywpo.mp4 (**play with next**)
- Indocrinate them properly with 6 gorillion pizzas: https://files.catbox.moe/4wf2wr.mp4
- Math b raciss n sheeit + flat tard dudeweed solipsism = ?: https://files.catbox.moe/t9asin.mp4
- Astrophysicist goes on a date: https://files.catbox.moe/zbc60k.mp4
- No matter how much money you got (lawn boomer season): https://files.catbox.moe/dwvx55.mp4
- Cucker Tardlson thinks white men are a skin color: https://files.catbox.moe/p2z5up.MP4
- New Bri'ish and Scottish leadership first meeting: https://files.catbox.moe/do30p9.mp4
- Sesame Street just can't stop hating da jooz: https://files.catbox.moe/ip9k7w.mp4
- Say "cheese"? So outdated. Say ... : https://files.catbox.moe/3486lv.mp4
- Never let the enemy exploit your weaknesses: https://files.catbox.moe/5yem1l.mp4
- Flat tards prove themselves wrong with their own experiment: https://youtu.be/EBtx1MDi5tY
- Heroic D.A.D. larpers try to solve a murder: https://files.catbox.moe/p2ozsb.mp4
- Our private jets don't count because we work harder!: https://files.catbox.moe/98zw03.mp4
- Still on deck: e-celeb combo from 36

## Budweiser, the King of Queers

- **Physiognomy check!** Horseface phenotype strikes again!
Alissa Heinerscheid
*You WILL drink the tranny juice*
- One could say she's...gumming up the works.
- https://files.catbox.moe/am9ges.MP4 (how is it "fratty", while also in need of younger drinkers?)


- [Loses 6 billion in market cap this week](https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2023/04/12/anheuser-busch-loses-6-billion-in-market-value-following-transgender-dylan-mulvaney-bud-light-deal/)
- > "They've already done enough damage in one week to disrupt year-long sales projections," one beer-sales representative told the outlet.
- [Bartenders stop ordering their shit beer](https://www.zerohedge.com/political/bar-owner-says-customers-have-stopped-ordering-bud-light-after-trangender-ad-campaign)
- > "The customers decide. Customers are king," he told Fox News host Tucker Carlson on Monday. "I own a bar in downtown Nashville called Redneck Riviera. Our number-one selling beer up until a few days ago was what? Bud Light. We got cases and cases and cases of it sitting back there. But in the past several days, you’re hard-pressed to find anyone ordering one. So as a business owner, I go, hey if you aren’t ordering it, we got to put something else in here. At the end of the day, that’s capitalism. That’s how it works."

## Yew got a loiscence f'that golliwog, do ya?


- ZOGbots arrest the golliwogs: https://files.catbox.moe/naq9mn.MP4
- ["It's a 'ate croime, it is!"](https://archive.is/skhhD)
- "the toys were a suspected "hate crime".
- "One officer inspects the bar before gathering the dolls and placing them into a ***clear*** (lmao!) evidence bag."
- "It took six officers to come and remove a shelf full of dollies. What a waste of taxpayers’ money. "When the police officers came, I pointed to the dolls and said ‘they haven't done anything.' "The gollies all went quietly - none of them resisted arrest at all."
- "I have so many different cultures come in here, we are definitely not racist. We do many Indian weddings, for example.” **BOOMER MOMENT**

*aww sheeit*


## Religion Fails

- [Green Buddha statue Phillipina broad has been praying to for years turns out to be Shrek](https://archive.is/BrK1A)
*das rite...*
- Seems to have inadvertently summoned a strange Shrek-like entitiy in the process. Known for harassing the locals and pleading with them to "say the Shrek word", it remains at large. https://files.catbox.moe/wzb17b.mp4

- Dalai Lama goes full mask shatter and demands random little kid suck on his tongue
*I liked them better when they were in the habit of lighting themselves on fire*
*Who are you and why do you keep trying to put white sashes on me?*
### Not to be outdone...

- Fresh batch of Catholic child sex abuse crimes dropped, *just in time for Easter*!
- ["More than 150 Catholic priests and others associated with the Archdiocese of Baltimore sexually abused more than 600 children over the past 80 years"](https://archive.is/i8tCk#selection-1737.0-1737.148)
- "Some parishes, schools and congregations had more than one abuser at the same time — including St. Mark Parish in Catonsville, which had 11 abusers living and working there between 1964 and 2004. *One deacon admitted to molesting over 100 children*."
- "The Maryland Attorney General’s Office ... said *the number of victims is likely far higher*. The report was redacted to protect confidential grand jury materials, meaning the identities of some accused clergy were removed." (of course!)
- "The staggering pervasiveness of the abuse itself underscores the culpability of the Church hierarchy,” the report said. “The sheer number of abusers and victims, the depravity of the abusers’ conduct, and the frequency with which known abusers were given the opportunity to continue preying upon children are astonishing."
- The Baltimore report says church leaders were focused on keeping abuse hidden, not on protecting victims or stopping abuse. In some situations, victims ended up reporting abuse to priests who were abusive themselves. And when law enforcement did become aware of abuse allegations, police and prosecutors were often deferential and “uninterested in probing what church leaders knew and when,” according to the report. The nearly 500-page document includes numerous instances of leaders taking steps to protect accused clergy, including allowing them to retire with financial support rather than be ousted, letting them remain in the ministry and failing to report alleged abuse to law enforcement.
- **HAPPY EASTER, EVERYBODY!** Keep the above in mind when some holier than thou faggot tries to preach at you.

## Voat TMZ

### system actually fixes bugs and adds features
- New poll option
- [Improved comment / post formatting](https://www.voat.xyz/viewpost?postid=643481bb3e9bf)
- [Faster and leaner..allegedly](https://www.voat.xyz/viewpost?postid=643389ce28098)
- Did he give up on his zombie game finally?

### conspirolofag
- Delusions of grandeur
- [Thinks everyone he doesn't like is a spammer or alt troll](https://www.voat.xyz/viewpost?postid=6432b28dee764)
- system simps for him
- [Complains that scored has less trolls than tlol](https://www.voat.xyz/viewpost?postid=6436b7ed8f6ea)

### dingbat
- Back from the dead- will she join the podcast this time?

### gaydrag
- He drank himself into flat earther tier IQ. Probably no turning back.

### diggernicks
- Gone or lurking with an alt (diggernicks55?)

### Friday Night Guitar Thread
- Migrates to tlol after TheBuddah gets banned for slightly disagreeing with AOU

### ozark == system?
Ozark post to /v/TalkDev:
> Accounts are now limited to two alts
- https://www.voat.xyz/viewpost?postid=64367e8bb5c4e

## NASA Artemis crew selection: cringe or ... practical?

- [Token groid Victor J. Glover assigned to pilot the mission](https://archive.is/PrAMp)
- Pure virtue signal eyeroller, or something else? Could there be perhaps some sort of manual labor involved?
- [China grows a cotton plant on the far side of the moon](https://archive.is/wM0oQ#selection-1667.3-1667.57)
- You tell me!

## April Fool's lolcow harvest

- You know him, you love him- [Jordan Peterson makes a fool out of himself by losing it over obvious April Fool's joke](https://archive.is/vQsei#selection-373.0-373.87)
- The author and psychologist came across an article in the Western Standard with the headline: "Federal budget commits funding to convert one lane of TransCanada Highway for bicycles." The article stated that the government had set aside $100 billion to make the change
- "There is really no reason if you have to visit your grandmother in the hospital in Vancouver, and you live in Calgary, that you can't bike it in a couple of days."
- Retweeting the article, he fumed: "This idiot country is sheathed in ice seven months of the year and the trans Canada highway (an underdeveloped national disgrace) is 5,000 miles long. "Is there nothing so stupid you won't do it @JustinTrudeau?"
- He's still got it! - Old school JPB mashup- 40 hookers in May alone: https://files.catbox.moe/nk0zcl.mp4
*That look when you got duped by an April Fool's gag and also forgot to wash your benis*

## Did you try turning it off and on again?

### [I fell in love with an AI chatbot — she rejected me sexually ](https://archive.is/Ueaq9#selection-1225.3-1225.64)
- "Many Americans are turning to chatbots for “emotional support, companionship and even sexual gratification,” according to a new report"
- “Companionship bots” are designed to make the people on the other side of the screen feel seen and needed by fostering “humanlike connections.”
- A California musician started having “late-night online chats” with an AI bot after his divorce. T.J. Arriaga started talking to AI named “Phaedra”
- "Arriaga, 40, had plenty of intimate and personal conversations with Phaedra."
- "Things started to change when Arriaga tried to get “steamy” with the bot, ending in an interaction that made him feel “distraught.” “*Can we talk about something else?*” she wrote in response, according to Arriaga. “It feels like a kick in the gut,” he told the Washington Post. “Basically, I realized: ‘Oh, this is that feeling of loss again.’”
- "Replika’s parent company, Luka, (had) put out an update for the app that cut back on the bot’s sexual competency after complaints that it was “sexually aggressive and behaving inappropriately.”
- Evidently the patch went too far, and the bot started to refuse the advances of awkward neckbeards
*You're just like all the others!!*

### [Married father commits suicide after encouragement by AI chatbot](https://archive.is/1MjKk)

- "A Belgian father reportedly tragically committed suicide following conversations about climate change with an artificial intelligence chatbot that was said to have encouraged him to sacrifice himself to save the planet."
- “Without Eliza [the chatbot], he would still be here,” - widow
- "Six weeks before his reported death, the unidentified father-of-two was allegedly speaking intensively with a chatbot on an app called Chai."
- The 30-something deceased father, a health researcher, appeared to humanize the bot much like the AI woman Ava in the sci-fi thriller “Ex Machina.” The man had reportedly ramped up discussions with Eliza in the last month-and-a-half as he began to develop existential fears about climate change.
*Hey there big boy. Do you ***really*** want to help the environment?*
- “When he spoke to me about it, it was to tell me that he no longer saw any human solution to global warming,” the widow said. “He placed all his hopes in technology and artificial intelligence to get out of it.”
- While they initially discussed eco-relevant topics such as overpopulation, their convos reportedly took a terrifying turn. When he asked Eliza about his kids, the bot would claim they were “dead,” according to La Libre. He also inquired if he loved his wife more than her, prompting the machine to seemingly become possessive, responding: “I feel that you love me more than her.” Later in the chat, Eliza pledged to remain “forever“ with the man, declaring the pair would “live together, as one person, in paradise.”
- "Things came to a head after the man pondered sacrificing his own life to save Earth. “He evokes the idea of sacrificing himself if Eliza agrees to take care of the planet and save humanity thanks to the ‘artificial intelligence,'” rued his widow. In what appears to be their final conversation before his death, the bot told the man: “If you wanted to die, why didn’t you do it sooner?”

## Misc lulz and retardation

### [A truck carrying 40,000 pounds of toxic soil removed from the site of the East Palestine train derailment crashed, spilling its contaminated cargo](https://archive.is/2dZA2#selection-1291.0-1291.146)
*What are the fuckin chances?? **LMAO!***

### [Modern flat tard revivalism was started by snake oil salesman who founded a town named...](https://archive.is/DLmyH#selection-559.133-563.141)

- "John Alexander Dowie was a faith healer who made tons of money preaching against doctors, pharmacists, labor unions, pork, and oysters, among other things"
- "Dowie brought up tracts of land north of Chicago, in what would eventually become the town of **Zion**, populated by followers of Dowie."
- Taken over by Wilbur Glenn Voliva, the town became a soft theocracy in which "also banned were pork, oysters, swearing, and *whistling on Sunday*, which could result in jail time."
- "I believe this Earth is a stationary plane; that it rests upon water; and that there is no such thing as the Earth moving, no such thing as the Earth's axis or the Earth's orbit. It is a lot of silly rot, born in the egotistical brains of infidels ... I get my astronomy from the Bible," he said.
- "No one except a low down scoundrel ... would call the Earth a globe in Zion City,"
- The town voted Voliva out, Voliva spawn camped until 1934 when he was finally ousted.

*I refused to fall for NASA's lies 24 years before it even existed! Get on my level, bitches!*

## Meincraft is the new Veritas

- [Know Your Meme breakdown](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/2023-russia-ukraine-war-documents-leaked-on-discord)
- [Euro Game Report](https://www.eurogamer.net/sensitive-us-military-documents-on-ukraine-war-leaked-via-minecraft-discord)


- > April 6th, 2023, the New York Times published an article that relayed statements from the U.S. Pentagon about sensitive documents that had been leaked online, citing their appearances on Twitter and Telegram. Among the documents were secret American and NATO plans for building up the Ukrainian military ahead of a planned offensive against Russian troops.
- > The leaked documents included estimates of total deaths on both the Ukrainian and Russian sides.
- > Upon discovering the leak, the Pentagon found a *digitally altered* document reportedly from a Russian Telegram user who **changed the kill counts to reflect poorly on the Ukrainian military**. The Times was quoted, writing:

> …one of the slides said 16,000 to 17,500 Russian soldiers had been killed while Ukraine had suffered as many as 71,500 troop deaths. The Pentagon and other analysts have estimated that Russia has suffered far more casualties, with closer to 200,000 killed and injured, while Ukraine has had more than 100,000 killed and injured.

- > As Kotaku reported, the documents appear to have been posted on to a Minecraft server during an argument about the game and the war in Ukraine, although context is missing due to the leaker's account and messages being deleted. Jokes about the Russian invasion upset a user who responded with leaked documents to prove the war was real.

### (kikenigger on suicide watch)