Ways of Relating while Working Together

The act of working together can include any coordinated purposeful activity that contributes to a specific output/goal, such as 'making something together'.

However, the ways we relate with the people with whom we work are often positioned as distinct from the forms of relationships outside of our professional contexts. This may be because of the close association of work with the activities we undertake to financially support us.

Despite this, even working practices are highly variably, including working agreements that are formed by people choosing to work directly together (e.g., within partnerships or cooperatives) and those that emerge in the context of the kinds of relationships cultivated by social change organisers.

Given the many forms of relationships that might form when we work together, this space is intended as a starting point for exploring the possibility that some of the tools from intentional approaches to relationships in non-work contexts can also be useful to those seeking to co-create more intentional working relationships.

For instance, taking an intentional approach to working together draws attention to our communication practices within our professional contexts. Paying attention to how we communicate can, in turn, unearth considerations of the specific relationship elements that we include (by choice or otherwise) in the relationships we form in work contexts. In either case some people prefer to avoid mixing the relationship elements associated with work-contexts with those relationship elements in non-work contexts, while other have found value in integrating their ways of relating across their personal and professional spheres.

In either case, there are many ways in which the elements of relating are specifically relevant to work-contexts overlap with and/or can be cultivated alongside a wide range of non-work specific relationship elements.

Intentional communication practices in professional contexts

• Four Preemptive Discussions for Intentional Collaborations
• Exploring our different relationships to money with a Money Game facilitated by folks from Greater Than.
• Cultivating conflict engagement practices, for example see Miki Kashtan's description of how Flow, Decision-Making, and Conflict are related.
• Forming explicit processes for governance and leadership practices - for examples of some of the different options, see participatory governance and leadership practices
• Writing up personal interaction guides
• Articulating shared accountability processes for situations where everyday conflict engagement practice have not prevented harm, for examples see: the Embassy Network's approach to 'accountable space', the code of conduct for participating in Scuttlebutt, and and risk-management protocols such as the Hearth Communal House Quarantine Guideline.
• Regardless of whether we choose our workmates or not, it may be useful to learn some meta-communication tools and identify those in your networks with whom there is possibilities for forming more intentional relationships.

Cultivating more intentional ways of relating in small groups

Some relevant concepts for exploring these practices include:

• Regenerative livelihoods practices, as articulated by Silvo Di Blasio, 2019
• Distributed leadership practices, as articulated by Alanna Irving, 2015
• Collaborative financial practices, for example see the Embassy Network's collaborative budgeting case study
• Microsolidarity practices and Moving from Domination to Partnership, as articulated by Richard D. Bartlett, circa 2018-2022.
• Transformative justice approaches to conflict resolution

Examples and experiments in intentional approaches to relating in small groups include:

• Better Work Together (2018) edited by Susan Basterfield and Anthony Cabraal, with co-authors Billy Matheson, Gina Rembe-Stevens, Nick Laurence, Sandra Otto, Doris Zuur, Lucy Carver, John Gieryn, Phoebe Tickell, Charley Davenport, and Lucas Tauil de Freitas.
• Microsolidariy Crewing: people opting-in to small groups that support each other by coming together around an intention, agreeing to some principles, and cultivating intentional relating processes.
• Enspiral experiments in Peer-Incubator Pods and personal-professional Care Pods for building relationships across the Enspiral network that include mutual support and care.
• Livelihood Pods: "solidarity-based groups to create livelihoods for generative economic activities".
• Scuttlebutt Farie Rings: "an experiment to support Scuttlebutt contributors by grouping into small microsolidarity crews that gather for emotional support and cross-pollination"
• Loomio Stewardships: explicit relationships intended to "facilitate connections across the co-op, opportunities for exchanging insights, and deeper understanding of individuals and areas of work"
• RMMAN Support Pods: which supports the practice of creating or joining a small group with the aim of developing real, ongoing relationships with each other, practising mutual aid together, and/or engaging in shared projects
• Accountability Pods and Support Pods: "the kind of relationship between people who would turn to each other for support around violent, harmful and abusive experiences, whether as survivors, bystanders or people who have harmed" as described in the transformative justice Pods and Pod Mapping Worksheet by Mia Mingus, 2016

Cultivating more intentional 1:1 relationships with those we work with.

Small groups are made up of multiple 1:1 relationships. In addition, often we cultivate specific 1:1 collaborations. Adapting intentional ways of relating 1:1 in work contexts is an ongoing profect. Some emerging concepts in this space include:

• Creative Companions: an exploration of creative living and the practice of forming deep bonds with other artists through making things together.
• Parallels between Relationship Anarchy and Self-managing Organisations - a Leadermorophsis conversation between Lisa Gill and Ted Rau

Next Steps

• See the broader resource set on Meta-communication Practices.
• Return to Friendships are Relationships
• Explore Introduction to Relationship Elements such as 'intellectual stimulation', 'compatibility', collaborative intimacies', 'affinity intimacies', etc.,
• Return to the Overview of Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships
• Return to the List of Contents for Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships

Notes for Attribution

This page emerged out of conversations at Enspiral SummerFest 2023 and is a component of Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships, a work-in-progress since 2018. It has been created while living on unceded Aboriginal lands, and is heavily influenced by many people.

Out of respect for the histories I am part of, and to provide the space for me to create while allowing for the critical engagement and further development of these resources by others, the full markdown files are available on request for those seeking to build on these resources.

Contact: E. T. Smith