Igor's Eulogy - HackMD

--- layout: post title: "Igor's Eulogy" ogtitle: "Igor's Eulogy - How I want to live" author: "Igor Dvorkin" inprogress: true featured: true comments: true permalink: /eulogy imagefeature: https://github.com/idvorkin/blob/raw/master/icon_eulogy_1200_628.png tags: - how igor ticks - emotional intelligence --- Wearing a silly hat, his trusty folding bike at his feet, and using a purple fountain pen, Igor "Began with the end in mind" with the "important but not urgent" task of penning this eulogy, likely starting at 5am. Igor wanted this life, so he wrote it, he reviewed it, he lived it, and he worked with his family, friends, and multitude of mentors, to adjust and tweak it. _Add comments [here](https://hackmd.io/s90ojEpMTC-t51EFYnUuMw)_   - [Igor is a ...](#igor-is-a-) - [Dealer of smiles and wonder](#dealer-of-smiles-and-wonder) - [Mostly car free spirit](#mostly-car-free-spirit) - [Disciple of the 7 habits of highly effective people](#disciple-of-the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-people) - [Fit fellow](#fit-fellow) - [Emotionally healthy human](#emotionally-healthy-human) - [Husband to Tori - his life long partner.](#husband-to-tori---his-life-long-partner) - [Technologist](#technologist) - [Professional](#professional) - [Igor is still writing about being a ...](#igor-is-still-writing-about-being-a-) - [Family man](#family-man) - [Father to Amelia - an incredible girl](#father-to-amelia---an-incredible-girl) - [Father to Zach - a wonderful boy](#father-to-zach---a-wonderful-boy) - [Friend, Mentee, and Mentor](#friend-mentee-and-mentor)   _Currently the purpose of my eulogy is to guide me in living my life. As death gets closer, the purpose of this eulogy will transform into entertaining others at my funeral_ _For many of my roles, I'm still figuring out who I want to be, and how I will achieved it, so this list is not yet in priority order. The fleshed out sections are the easy ones to write, because, well, they are the easy ones to write :)_ ## Igor is a ... ### Dealer of smiles and wonder Making cards change colors at a spectators command or passing coins through a spectator's hand -- Igor lived to see eyes go wide and mouths gape with wonder. Igor especially loved it when strangers got drawn in against their inner objections, or when a kid having a meltdown, or a grown up looking miserable, forgot their troubles. Once Igor learned [magic](/magic), that consumed his free time and became his favorite tool. Back in his 30s he used to juggle lots of things, the coolest of which being [juggle fire](http://ig66.blogspot.com/2014/08/accomplishment-unlocked-juggling-file.html?q=torches).  ### Mostly car free spirit Igor took a strange pleasure in not driving. Riding his folding bike, or making a long day of public transit with Zach and Amelia. Igor would take the kids on the bus, to the train, to the airport, to ride the airport elevators, just to reverse the process and head home so he could enjoy his kids, and the bus, without spending a dime. Igor loved living in the city so he could walk Zach and Amelia to their school and local library. Igor also loved the subway station 10 minutes from his home, which when combined with his folding bicycle let him get anywhere in the city car free. Igor was especially fond of his folding bicycle (even wrote a [song](http://ig66.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-wheels-full-of-grace.html)) which let him look goofy, be incredibly practical, and carry around the things he loved. Nothing made Igor happier then having the kids on the folding bike.  ### Disciple of the 7 habits of highly effective people Igor became enthralled by the [7 habits of highly effective people](/7-habits), and used it as his personal life guide. He created a [7 habits video series](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1J7GM3GLzw&list=PLJveOxX-mxxCl4YDfHMyNzMmWUMFxgC1n) so he could better understand the concepts and teach them to others. Discipline is a core concept of "Begin with the end in mind" (Habit 1), and Igor's discipline started strong at the beginning of the day/week/month but he'd often fall of the wagon. Igor realized that was OK, and started his discipline again the next day. This embodied compassion and having grand mother mind. ### Fit fellow Igor knew physical health was the [source of his energy](https://medium.com/being-healthy/physical-health-a2f648e7574c#.g30t2werl) and acted accordingly. Every month Igor pledged his weight would be 140lbs, and he put [1000\$ on the line](http://ighealth.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-best-1000-i-did-spend.html) to make sure he never reneged on his pledge. Igor valued his cardio vascular endurance and tried to run a fast 4 miles 2 to 3 times a week. Igor also tried to incorporate biking into his life whenever possible: biking to work, biking to doctors appointments, and even biking the grocery store (which was not efficient nor effective, but enjoyable). Finally, Igor knew the importance of sleep, and always woke up @ 5am. When Igor was having trouble getting enough sleep, he'd cut his caffeine to make sure his body forced him to get the sleep he needed. It took Igor almost 40 years to get his weight under control sustainably. At his most unhealthy, [Igor weighted 230 lbs](https://www.flickr.com/photos/idvorkin/4590579760/in/datetaken/), and felt terrible. Luckily Igor's good friend recommended [Fat sick and nearly dead](http://ighealth.blogspot.com/search?q=fat+sick+and+nearly+dead) and Igor began [juice fasting](http://ighealth.blogspot.com/search/label/juicing) the next day. Igor was incredibly grateful to his friend Ammon for teaching him about the weight pledge, and for being a weight pledge partner for over 30 years.  ### Emotionally healthy human Igor understood emotional health is the basis of his stability, and [invested](http://idvorkin.github.io/search-inside-yourself) heavily. Igor started each day at 5am by recording his blessing in his gratefulness journal, followed by 20 minutes of meditation. Igor closed the day in a similar vein, a final 10 minutes of meditation and writing out what made his day great in his gratefulness journal. Igor prided himself in being calm like water, and have a grand-mother mind he could apply to [himself](https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Yourself-Worthy-Opponents-ebook/dp/B00OP1FIUM/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1515073110&sr=8-3&keywords=getting+to+yes+with+self), and to others.  ### Husband to Tori - his life long partner. Becoming a husband started [when Igor met Tori](http://ig66.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-igor-met-tori-genesis-story.html?q=when+tori+met+igor), and then took several twists and turns to get [married](http://ig66.blogspot.com/2015/01/married-check.html?q=when+tori+met+igor). Tori values her privacy so this section will be Tori light, and Igor heavy.  ### Technologist Igor loved technology - taking copious [notes](https://github.com/idvorkin/techdiary) through his technical journeys, putzing with his [blog](https://github.com/idvorkin/idvorkin.github.io) and many small [projects](https://github.com/idvorkin). Igor was REALLY proud when Zach got his own [website](https://www.zacookiegames.com), and when Zach made his first [pull request](https://github.com/idvorkin/zdvorkinweb/pull/5). Igor was also very proud of his first open source [pull request](https://github.com/Homebrew/homebrew-core/pull/48163) for a command line spell checking installer. Igor loved VIM, the command line and TMUX. His dotfile [collection](https://github.com/idvorkin/settings) was impressive, and he even made a [VIM plugin for Onenote](https://github.com/idvorkin/Vim-Keybindings-For-Onenote). Perhaps the command line usage was about minimalism, and as a result Igor loved being able to do everything on his [iPad](https://github.com/idvorkin/techdiary/blob/master/notes/ios-nomad.md) using an external keyboard, a makeshift stand and ssh'ing to a cloud based EC2 instance.  ### Professional Igor didn't write this section - but he did describe his [dream job](/job) and his thoughts on being a good [manager](/manager). He also wrote up several cool things he's proud of at work: [Charity Gifting On Alexa](/alexa-charity), [Software as a Story](/tags/index.html#Software as a Story), [Staring Cloud Computing](/The-Genesis-Node), [Smile](http://igsmilebox.blogspot.com), [Cache](/cache), and [Human meetings](/Human-Meetings).  ## Igor is still writing about being a ... ### Family man Igor used to think being a family man would be easy. Being proud of his family, looking back fondly on time with them was easy, but making the time for them, supporting them, teaching them - that was all really hard. Hard yes, but totally worth it. ### Father to Amelia - an incredible girl So TBD: - To File - Roller Skating - Swimming - Taking for bike rides Need to split apart Zach and Amelia section. - To File - Web Site ### Father to Zach - a wonderful boy - To File - Seeing Kids Play Together - Teaching 7h/EQ values to kids - School events - Public transit together - teaching kids to be active - Document their adventures to savor later, and educate them - Teaching them to program - Seeing "raw humanity" - Being cool for other kids - I choose ... - How relationship improved when I started walking Zach to school. - Bragging about kids section. - Weekly Swimming - Weekly Dates - Archived links - Birth stories - [Poem for Kids - Tomorrow smiling at me](http://ig66.blogspot.com/2013/03/when-color-blue-was-born-favorites.html?q=dead). - To live - Being with kids recharged him - Being with kids inspired him ### Friend, Mentee, and Mentor - To File - [Human/Feelings Meetings](http://idvorkin.github.io/Human-Meetings) a forum for expressing emotions. - Treasured Friendships - In person and over Skype - Mentee, Mentor - Archived links - To live - An awesome listener - Psychic - understood, but didn't need to speak. - Could ask the "right question" - Socratic Method - Cultivated and nurtured - Scheduled - Topics - Mentors by role - Activity - Deep conversations, no fluff, by being vulnerable and open - Always welcome, since showed grandmother mind, gave the gift of attention, and psychic space. - Built mentor network - Helped him flesh out the eulogy - All walks of life - Saw value in each of them - Dropped in on the neighbors for fun - just hung out for coffee/bear - Everyone had a story, and Igor wanted to hear, and understand them.

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