# Episode 64


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## [M O N K E B U S I N E S S](https://www.actionnews5.com/2025/10/28/truck-hauling-aggressive-monkeys-carrying-herpes-covid-overturns-mississippi/) (EXTRA SPOOKY EDITION)


- JASPER COUNTY, Miss. (WLBT) - A truck hauling monkeys overturned in Mississippi on Tuesday.
According to authorities, the Rhesus monkeys were on their way to an unnamed "testing facility" in Florida after being at Tulane University.
- Authorities said the *driver of the truck* carrying the monkeys told law enforcement that the monkeys “were dangerous” and “posed a threat to humans.”
- A truck hauling monkeys from Tulane University in New Orleans flipped on a Mississippi highway, freeing several large, "aggressive" monkeys.
- After the wreck, which happened north of Heidelberg, multiple rhesus monkeys escaped into the community, according to the Jasper County Sheriff's Office.
- "The monkeys are approximately 40lbs, they are aggressive to humans, and they require PPE [personal protective equipment] to handle," the *sheriff's office wrote* in a Facebook post.
- **The animals carry hepatitis C, herpes and COVID**, *deputies said*.


#### So, sherrif's office, deputies, DRIVER OF THE TRUCK all state monkes are aggressive, infectious, and have escaped (though some already yeeted by deputies). Meanwhile, at Tulane University:

 "NNOOOOOO they're not infectious! It's a lie!"
- "Non-human primates at the Tulane National Biomedical Research Center are provided to other research organizations to advance scientific discovery. The primates in question belong to another entity and are not infectious."

#### The sheriff's office responded to a Facebook comment from a concerned citizen asking if the post was a joke.

"Unfortunately not," the sheriff's office replied.

***Oh but it is, we see you, glowies***

## Manmade horrors beyond comprehension roundup


### [Slopsquatting](https://www.theregister.com/2025/04/12/ai_code_suggestions_sabotage_supply_chain/#:~:text=Seth%20Michael%20Larson%2C%20security%20developer-in-residence%20at%20the%20Python,from%20an%20ecosystem%20level%2C%22%20Larson%20told%20The%20Register.)

### Poojeet Purge: [Telemarketers roll out AI software that ‘neutralizes’ Indian accents](https://nypost.com/2025/02/27/business/teleperformance-rolls-out-ai-software-that-neutralizes-indian-accents/)

- "Teleperformance, the world’s largest call center operator, is relying on artificial intelligence technology to “neutralize” the accents of English-speaking Indian customer service agents in real time — an innovation that the company claims will enhance clarity and improve customer interactions."
- "Teleperformance, which serves major corporations such as Apple, TikTok parent company ByteDance and Samsung, has invested $13 million in Sanas (the anti jeet AI) and secured exclusive rights to resell the technology."
- The technology can “neutralize the accent of the Indian speaker with zero latency,”
- "**The software not only modifies speech patterns but also filters out disruptive background noises such as office chatter, sirens, or even crowing roosters and pajeets shitting in the street.**"

#### It's working! Do not redeem

- Despite skepticism surrounding AI’s role in call centers, Teleperformance’s strategy appears to be bearing fruit.
The company projects revenue growth of 3% to 5% this year.
In the fourth quarter, it reported earnings of $2.68 billion, reflecting a 12% increase from the previous year or 4% on a pro forma basis.

*Is removing the accent alone enough? What about the awful grammar and mumbly diction?*
*Would you rather: a jeet with a clipped accent (but all other flaws intact), or straight up AI?*

### It's the thought that counts... or is it? [Man robotripping and on LSD saves dog from imaginary house fire](https://www.news5cleveland.com/news/national/man-on-lsd-and-cough-syrup-saves-dog-from-burning-house?form=MG0AV3&form=MG0AV3)
***May or may not be dwb actual***

- "Michael Orchard of Halfmoon, New York mixed cough syrup and LSD on Thursday afternoon and began hallucinating that there was a fire at his neighbor’s house"
- Orchard then drove his black BMW through his yard and over his neighbor’s fence. He went smashed through the back door, and “saved” the family’s dog from the “flames.”
- "WYNT reports that Orchard was charged with second degree burglary and third degree criminal mischief and booked in county jail on $15,000 bail.
The dog was not harmed during the “rescue.”"
#### Obviously he should pay for the damage, but criminal charges?

### Redditor meets his based subconscious for the first time


### Nigress so down bad for white male attention she pulls [the laziest Jussie Smollett so far](https://thepostmillennial.com/hate-hoax-allentown-pa-school-employee-charged-after-planting-noose-on-her-own-desk-reporting-it-to-police?utm_campaign=64470)

### Simp smackdown: [Iranian singer flogged 74 times after singing about hijab removal](https://www.yahoo.com/news/iranian-singer-flogged-74-times-025548343.html?form=MG0AV3&guccounter=1)
***the look of a man who would help a girl who already has a bf move.***

- "Mehdi Yarrahi, an Iranian singer and musician known for his song encouraging women to remove their hijabs, was lashed 74 times as part of his punishment for supporting the protests that swept the country, his lawyer said Wednesday."
- "Yarrahi was accused of “releasing an illegal song that is against the morals and customs of Islamic society,” the state news agency IRNA said in 2023."
- "He was detained four days after releasing his famous song “Roosarito” – Farsi for “your headscarf” – where lyrics included the lines: “Take off your scarf, the sun is sinking. Take off your scarf, let your hair flow.”
“Don’t be afraid, my love! Laugh, protest against tears,” the lyrics add."
***LOL. WOnder if he was humming those lyrics during his lashing for being a simp?***
*will soygoys ever learn to shut the fuck up?*

## The Miscs

### 

### [Catfishing for catfish](https://brobible.com/sports/article/oregon-man-catfishing-guys-for-fishing-spots-through-dating-apps/)

### [Coonye is back at it again!](https://www.wdrb.com/news/louisville-woman-arrested-after-she-says-kanye-west-telegraphically-told-her-to-steal-car-in/article_390958fa-6866-11ef-a900-9f6146e99e1a.html)
- LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) -- A 28-year-old woman from Louisville was arrested after she claimed Kanye West told her to steal a car, reported by WEHT.
Evansville Police responded to reports of a woman trying to get into random cars on Friday morning. Ricki Smith was arrested after she tried to steal a car with a child in the backseat.
When police asked Smith why she tried to take the car, Smith claimed that Kanye West spoke to her "telegraphically" and told her to steal it.
- Smith jumped into a woman's vehicle while she walked into a store. Smith was eventually pulled out of the vehicle. A child was inside the car during the incident. Smith was charged with attempted kidnapping and attempted auto theft.
- Smith told police she was traveling from Louisville to Evansville when her car broke down. Police said Smith had wrecked her vehicle into a tree line off a highway.