# Reading Responses (Set 2)

## Breaking Up (9 November)

It was only yesterday that my roommate sent me a screenshot of our broker’s relationship status on Facebook. “Single,” it read. She was swooning.

For me, I primarily use Facebook for news updates. I had nearly forgotten about the platform’s “relationship” feature, let alone the fact that people are still using it to determine if someone is available. I reminded my roommate that the status could be false or outdated. As Gershon writes, “Facebook statuses can not be relied on as accurate” (133). Even though it was written in 2010, there are still ideas in Gershon’s chapter that hold up today. I hold the opinion that relying on online information to culminate and sustain relationships can only lead to a rocky road ahead, a road that is sure to lead to a breakup.

Most breakups are a result of misinformation or miscommunication. The chance of these two things occurring and resulting in a couple’s breakup is heightened in a digital space. Nonverbal communication is entirely lost when exchanging messages on digital platforms (texting, Facebook statuses, direct messaging on Instagram, etc). A lack of nonverbal communication causes more uncertainty in relationships, and increased uncertainty can put a relationship in a fragile state.

## Haters (20 November)

“No worries, that’s okay,” said the customer I told could not get a free pair of jeans to replace her old pair.
“I’ve never experienced such unaccommodating customer service,” said the same customer to my store’s corporate office.

People are a lot more comfortable expressing negative feelings when they cannot be seen. In this case, a customer waited to complain via email rather than express her dissatisfaction with my customer service to me in person. While I wouldn’t call this behavior “toxic”, I do think it is a good example of how being behind a screen gives people a lot more confidence to speak their mind. Reagle offers the [Urban Dictionary definition](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=internet%20balls) of “internet balls” to describe this courage people get once they are behind a computer screen (95). This courage from not being seen is what can give rise to increased negativity in an online space.

Being anonymous gives people even more courage while being negative or hateful online. Not only can a "hater" hide behind a screen, but they can also do so without anyone knowing who they are.

## Shaped (27 November)

Of the ten most recent photos on my Instagram, seven are of myself.

How narcissistic does this make me? Seventy percent narcissistic? I’m not sure. I use Instagram to post pictures of things I like ([this print](https://www.instagram.com/p/BpFFgQGh92d/)), pictures of what I do ([work](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bok2IyAn501/)), and pictures of myself that I will try to make comedic in some way (like [this side by side picture](https://www.instagram.com/p/BorvXJlnvsN/) of Drake and I). I do not post things on Instagram or other social media platforms with the intention of receiving praise or admiration from my peers, but I definitely experience a self-esteem boost when I get positive comments on my pictures. That being said, I do find I will not post/share as much on social media if I am not in a good mood. Reagle suggests, “the relationship between mood and presentation is not a simple one” (p. 133). For me, I don't use social media to *make* myself happy, I use it more as a way to share that I am happy in the moment I share a post.

Regarding mindfulness, and how it relates to my use of Instagram, I'd say I have only become more self aware. Occasionally I will find myself scrolling back to reflect on things I've done. I'm giving myself the highlights. The collection of photos on a person's Instagram can be thought of as a self reflection gallery in a way.

## Collapsed Context (30 November)

The act of maintaining authenticity for an audience feels quite inauthentic to me. The Merriam Webster [definition](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic) of “authentic” is “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.”

Authenticity is something that should be done without effort. It isn’t a performance. A person attempting to appear authentic for someone (an audience) actually becomes quite inauthentic because it becomes a performance rather than a display of one’s true character.

Boyd does say, “We are interested not in an absolute sense of authenticity, but in what Twitter users consider ‘authentic’” (119), however I couldn’t help but think about absolute/true authenticity while reading.

## Pushback (4 December)

Too much candy will can leave you with cavities. Too many hours spent in the office can leave you weary. Too much time spent online can leave you obsessed with intangible interactions.

Too much of one thing is never good, even if it is a tasty sweet.

Online communication in moderation is not an awful thing, but too much of it has the potential to drive someone mad. Regarding comments, too much time spent pouring over them will inevitably lead a reader to negativity. Negativity in comments cannot be avoided. Even more broadly, Reagle states, “We live in a world in which everything can be commented on...it is not easily escaped,” (p. 182-183). In a place where comments are everywhere, there is going to be good and bad. Even if one does not comment themselves, reading comments is nearly unavoidable. While offering examples of how bloggers tackle comments on their websites, Reagle says, “Some people disable or restrict comments on their sites” (p. 172). Even in an attempt to remove comments, it is difficult to opt-out completely without losing all sense of contact since digital platforms are the primary form of communication currently.

It is not a bad thing to stay connected online. I just think people need to take comments with a grain of salt and not get hung up on everything/everyone they interact with online.