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Expectations Agreements
In the context of discussing Relationship Elements, an expectation agreement is a type of meta-communication tool that functions as an explicit description of if/when/how a relationship incorporates various relationship elements.
Some examples are included to illustrate the range and context-specific value of expectation agreements.
Availability expectations
Some agreements function to clarify expectations about the how available each person is to the other in any given context. These contexts include when spending dedicated time together, when in social spaces, and when not in physical proximity. Some examples:
Support expectations
Support is a relationship tool, and there are many ways to request support.
Some relationship agreements focus on articulating the forms of mutual support that each person wants from the other and has the capacity to provide. Articulating these can help establish ways in which the giving/receiving can be sustainable for all. Examples include:
Visibility expectations
Some agreements function to articulate the type of behaviours that each person takes to be indicators of being in a intimate relationship. This process can help negotiate which of these are appropriate in specific contexts (and more generally). Given that there is still stigma about non-exclusive relationships in many contexts, this process can also help to clarify the degree to which each person wants to be open about any of the specific intimacies and dynamics of their relationship in public.
Examples include:
Structure expectations
The possibilities available for structuring relationships are endless (see: Structural Dynamics.
When it comes to expectations about how any given relationship is to be structured, one questions to clarify is which agreements about the relationship will function as descriptive structures and which, if any, should be regarded as prescriptive structures.
This descriptive/prescritive difference is often about the goals of making agreements about the structure of the relationship. Some people seek terms that can help describe how a given relationship is structured at any given time so that each person can have a reasonable expectation that the other person will communicate if and when any agreements need to be modified. In contrast, prescribed structures function to articulate expectations that that both parties will abide by a given set of rules with the goal of maintain the structure of the relationship for the foreseeable future.
Interpersonal risk expectations
There are many approaches to navigating questions about how each person considers the consequences of their actions on others - especially when it comes to interpersonal risks
Questions of interpersonal risk almost always extend beyond the specific people in a given relationship. This situatedness of 1:1 relationships has been highlighted by the coronavirus, as the Hearth Communal House Quarantine Guideline illustrate well.
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