This week has made me think about my own mortality. On Monday, I was asked to nominate my next of kin in order to finalise my personnel file. Yesterday, I got a letter from the Health Insurance Commission. They were confirming my registration for the Australian Organ Donor Register.

I am not sure if my boss meant I would be risking my life for work in the next of weeks, but everyone in my department had to provide contact details for people in Australia in case something happened. The next of kin is available on the intranet which means everyone has access to everyone else’s information. “Husband, wife, partner,” were the most common types of relationship. As the single guy in the office I listed Mark as my contact, friend. Singles have to rely on their urban family in the even in the event of death.

I have always had a fascination with death...and dying. Ever since I was little boy I have had a gut feeling that I will die young…probably in my late 30s or 40s. This type of gut feeling is called short horizon syndrome (SHS). Apparently this is common in people with a terminal illness such as cancer and AIDS. It occurs when you cannot plan long term. No five year plans... people with SHS live in the NOW. Hence I have always felt like there is a big clock with a countdown. I have to do everything soon...once the clock hits zero the game is over.

I cannot recall the first dreams I had about dying young...all I know is I have had them for a long time. I guess people always seem to know their future fate. Princess Diana knew she would be famous, Elvis knew he would change music and I have always known that I will die young. I unlike many of my friends do not see myself living into retirement. Hence my lack of planning on my career, retirement, superannuation, property purchases and need to live life impulsively.

Death unlike my many first gay dates is something I can count on. No need to plan for it. We are all equal in death. The rich cannot buy themselves out of it and the poor can afford it. I do not mean to sound morbid. And no, I am not dying or thinking of dying….just pondering life…as we all should. At least my bone tissue, eye tissue, heart, heart valves, kidneys, liver, lungs, pancreas, and skin tissue will all be used after I die! I guess parts of me will continue to live.

Remember to register for organ donation register if you have not done so…in Australia, you can do it at www.medicareaustralia.gov.au/organ.


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