# Radical kindness > _Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle._ --- Unknown > _For so long as the root of wickedness is hidden, it is strong. But when it is recognized, it is dissolved. When it is revealed, it perishes. ... It is powerful because we have not recognized it._ --- The Gospel of Philip I have been carelessly spreading evil my whole life. I am not yet done. May this post serve as both a confession and a warning. Please forgive the third-person style. --- When you perceive someone as evil, and feel a twinge of hatred, malice, or even just the slightest contempt, you are experiencing your *own* evil. A mind that is free of evil simply does not perceive reality this way. If you accede to this perception, you are inviting evil to further colonize your mind. From there, it will *inevitably* leak into the world, one way or another. You will then disown any responsibility for its far-ranging consequences and come away further convinced of your own good. You mock someone for their backward beliefs, but they just dig in their heels. You were only trying to help them see their idiocy --- or if not exactly them, then at least the rest of the world. Either way, it's *surely* a net good. Their recalcitrance just proves that you were right about them after all, and that your cruelty is justified. This nasty encounter will fester in their mind and erupt in some form or another later. Any such effects will be remote enough in time and space that you can _definitely_ wash your hands of any complicity. They had free will, after all. Why didn't they simply choose to be better instead? You wring your hands at the sorry state of the world and vow to fight even harder. Part of you knows that this story is a crock, but if you were to admit that to yourself, your whole carefully-constructed reality --- and the hierarchy of blame that scaffolds it --- would suddenly come crashing down. It is impossible to communicate how painful the full epiphany is; to be forcefully shown just how much of the world's darkness can be traced back to your own decisions to be unkind --- but you suspect it, and do everything in your power to avoid confronting it. But astonishingly --- and mercifully --- what lies on the other side of that hellish epiphany is a glory so vast that it defies description. You discover that what you are at your innermost core is _pure unconditional love_; the primordial principle that gave birth to the universe itself. You honestly never wanted to hurt anyone --- and in your deepest being, never _could_ want such a thing. That being so, what explains your behavior? Somewhere along the line --- countless lifetimes ago, if you want to think of it that way --- there arose the fear that you might _not_ be good. You projected this fear outward, thereby perceiving _others_ as bad. This gave you something to vanquish to prove your own goodness beyond doubt. Unfortunately, it only induced the perception in them that _you_ were bad. Part of you could sense the truth in this accusation, thus intensifying your fear and making you project even harder. Thus began an endless cycle of amplification, resulting in a hall of mirrors that you can no longer even _suspect_ that you are trapped in. You have been on the lam from your "original sin" ever since. Ironically, you are only running from your own Light. Somehow, you must be reminded of your true nature. This is the grace you feel when others show you kindness --- especially when you don't "deserve" it. Sometimes it comes in the form of tough love, and you don't realize its impact [until much later](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrZbMXtDuNA). The whole thing started off as an innocent misunderstanding, but it quickly spiraled out of control. Every single one of us is caught in this web of illusion, whether we know it or not. Mostly, we do not. Perceiving this clearly, it is _impossible_ not to be overcome by profound grief at the horrible irony of it all, and the overwhelming desire to be of service in ending the madness instead of mindlessly perpetuating it. You vow to unflinchingly hold the Light for others, even when --- _especially_ when --- they cannot hold it for themselves. Make no mistake: people *do* act out evil, and it must be relentlessly fought. But the crucial insight is that the evil is not intrinsic to their minds: that is just a trick your *own* mind uses to hide your own complicity from yourself, and only buries us all deeper into the maze. This one "small" shift in perception changes absolutely everything. I suspect it is not until we see just how badly we've been trapped --- without ever suspecting it --- that we discover the true meaning of compassion, and begin the long journey of healing. Alas, seeing this once is (generally?) not enough. The same message must be driven home repeatedly in different ways until we finally Get It. In case you're wondering, I certainly have not. What you long for most deeply is to return Home. So does everybody else, even though it certainly doesn't look like that. It _can't_ yet look like it, by your mind's own clever design. The world does not need more sanctimony and contempt. What it needs most desperately is your fierce, uncompromising Love --- whatever form it takes. It may not look like "love" from the outside, but you will always know from the inside. It is the only way to guide yourself --- and all of us --- back home. --- > _If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?_ --- Alexander Solzhenitsyn --- > _Such a [person] knows that whatever is wrong in the world is also in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow, he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved problems of our day._ — Carl Jung --- > *My most recent mushroom trip (also the largest dose I've ever taken) I became fixated on a news story I had heard that week. About an 8 year old girl from a tribe in the Amazon, who was [tied to a tree and burned alive](https://www.survivalinternational.org/news/8033) in order to scare her people off their land so it could be logged. I realized that at the moment he did it, whoever lit that gasoline actually felt / thought more or less okay about what he was doing. **And my mind was illuminated with dozens of the parallels between that man's malformed, horrific perceptual / behavioral state, and mine. I saw the same mistakes in value attribution, the same willful ignorance of the consequences of my acts and words. And there was nothing I could do to deny the similarity.*** > > *Reminds me of something (I think) Duncan [Trussell] said on some recent podcast, quoting somebody else: it isn't the victim of violence you have to pray for so much. It's the perpetrator. They are the one who is more trapped in delusion, more estranged from love, etc.* > > [From an online forum. This is a perfect example of discovering one's own self-deception, and why pyschedelics are such a powerful and important tool.] --- > *I wasn’t just watching the events; I was actually reliving them again, while at the same time I was also re-experiencing the actions from other people’s points of view. I was them. I was reliving the experience from their point of view and at the same time (and I don’t know how this works) I was also experiencing it from a higher reality; the truth of the matter. So what I saw was my own lies and my own self deception to myself, which I had used to convince me that doing certain things was okay because people had deserved it. Then I was experiencing the emotional impact it had on other people. I felt their pain. I felt the shock on them… [But] the judgment came all from myself. It was not from an outside source, but then this being that was with me was also sending me comforting messages – thank goodness! – and one of them was it was alright as I was only human.* > > [From a near-death experience] --- Also see this [page of quotes](https://hackmd.io/@monktastic/radical-kindness-quotes).