TICK TICK BOOM!

--- type: slide title: TICK TICK BOOM! slideOptions: controls: false help: false slideNumber: false ---  <style> .present { color: yellow; text-align: left; padding: 0 2rem; } .present h2 { font-size: 70%; text-transform: uppercase; color: yellow; opacity: 0.7; } </style>  --- TICK TICK BOOM! --- [tick… tick… tick… tick… tick… tick…] --- ## JON: The sound you are hearing is not a technical problem. --- It is not a musical cue. --- It is not a joke. --- It is the sound of one man’s mounting anxiety. --- I…am that man. --- Hi. --- I’m Jon, and lately I keep hearing that sound, that ticking. --- It’s not a big deal. --- It’s actually kind of pleasant, like a watch. --- In one week I’ll be thirty. --- Three-zero. --- Older than my dad was when I was born. --- Older than Napoleon was when he…did something that was probably extremely impressive at the time—I’m not a historian. --- I’m a composer. --- Sorry, a “promising young composer.” --- I should have kids of my own by now, a career, but instead I’ve been “promising’ for so long I’m afraid I’m starting to break the fucking promise. --- And I want to get some writing done, but I keep hearing those tick-ticks. --- And sometimes, after a couple of them, I’ll hear something else – a distant BOOM, --- like a bomb has gone off not too far away and the next one might be closer and I’d better look out. --- [tick, tick] --- [crashing bang! on piano] --- So that’s where we are. --- It’s a Saturday night in January 1990 in my apartment on the edge of SoHo. --- I’m trying to work, trying to enjoy what remains of my extremely late twenties, and trying to ignore the tick-tick-booms. --- STOP THE CLOCK—TAKE TIME OUT TIME TO REGROUP BEFORE YOU LOSE THE BOUT FREEZE THE FRAME—BACK IT UP TIME TO REFOCUS BEFORE THEY WRAP IT UP --- YEARS ARE GETTING SHORTER LINES ON YOUR FACE ARE GETTING LONGER FEEL LIKE YOU’RE TREADING WATER BUT THE RIPTIDE’S GETTING STRONGER --- DON’T PANIC—DON’T JUMP SHIP CAN’T FIGHT IT—LIKE TAXES AT LEAST IT HAPPENS ONLY ONCE IN YOUR LIFE --- THEY’RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU JUST WANT TO LAY DOWN AND CRY NOT JUST ANOTHER BIRTHDAY IT’S THIRTY NINETY --- WHY CAN’T YOU STAY TWENTY-NINE, HELL YOU STILL FEEL LIKE YOU’RE TWENTY-TWO TURN THIRTY 1990-BANG, YOU’RE DEAD --- WHAT CAN YOU DO? WHAT CAN YOU DO? WHAT CAN YOU DO? --- Hey, you know what? Forget it. --- It’s no big deal. --- What’s thirty? Just, you know, the end of youth. --- ## MICHAEL: Jon, you’ve got to chill. --- ## JON: Michael. --- My roommate, my oldest and dearest friend. --- We grew up together, moved to Manhattan, and were starving artists together. --- Were. --- Mike was a terrific actor, but he gave it up to become a big-time market research exec. --- Now, he’s the proud owner of a brand-new BMW. --- Mike, you’re thirty. --- Are you happy? --- ## MICHAEL: Thirty’s great. --- Thirty’s like Newark Airport. --- ## JON: Newark Airport? --- ## MICHAEL: Hard to get to, but once you’re here, fewer delays. --- ## JON: Mike spends way too much time traveling on business. --- ## MICHAEL: CLEAR THE RUNWAY—MAKE ANOTHER PASS RY ONE MORE APPROACH BEFORE YOU’RE OUT OF GAS --- ## JON: FRIENDS ARE GETTING FATTER HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD ARE GETTING THINNER FEEL LIKE A CLEANUP BATTER ON A TEAM THAT AIN’T A WINNER? --- ## MICHAEL: DON’T FREAK OUT—DON’T STRIKE OUT CAN’T FIGHT IT—LIKE CITY HALL --- ## JON: AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT ALONE YOUR FRIENDS ARE THERE TOO— THEY’RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY --- ## JON & MICHAEL: YOU JUST WISH YOU COULD RUN AWAY --- ## JON: WHO CARES ABOUT A BIRTHDAY—BUT --- ## JON & MICHAEL: THIRTY NINETY-HEY! --- ## JON: CAN YOU BE OPTIMISTIC --- ## JON & MICHAEL: YOU’RE NO LONGER THE INGENUE TURN THIRTY 1990 --- ## JON: BOOM—YOU’RE PASSE --- ## JON & MICHAEL: WHAT CAN YOU DO? --- ## JON: WHAT CAN YOU DO? WHAT CAN YOU DO? --- ## SUSAN: Jon, breathe. --- ## JON: Susan’s here too, my girlfriend. --- We’ve been together two years, it’s great, she’s great, she’s a dancer, but supports herself teaching ballet to wealthy and untalented children. --- She starts talking about the birthday party she’s planning for next week. --- ## SUSAN: You’re gonna enjoy it, I promise. --- I sent out the invitations, the apartment will be full of friends, we’ll have a great time. --- ## JON: She’s right. --- Goddamn it, I am looking forward to it! --- ## SUSAN: And you’ll play “Happy Birthday,” we’ll all sing… --- ## JON: I have to play it? --- ## SUSAN: Sure. --- ## JON: I can’t play “Happy Birthday” for myself. --- ## SUSAN: Why not? --- ## JON: I’ve forgotten it. --- I realize I’ve forgotten how to play the piano completely. --- Holy shit, have I forgotten how to play the piano because I don’t want to play “Happy Birthday” because I don’t want to—Oh God—grow up? --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH— --- ## JON: PETER PAN AND TICKER-BELL WHICH WAY TO NEVER NEVER LAND? EMERALD CITY’S GONE TO HELL SINCE THE WIZARD --- ## ALL: BLEW OFF HIS COMMAND --- ## JON: ON THE STREET YOU EHAR THE VOICES— LOST CHILDREN, CROCODILES YOU’RE NOT INTO MAKING CHOICES, --- WICKED WITCHES, POPPY FIELDS OR MEN BEHIND THE CURTAIN TIGER LILIES, RUBY SLIPPERS --- ## ALL: CLOCK IS TICKING—THAT’S FOR CERTAIN --- ## JON: THEY’RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY --- ## JON: I JUST WISH IT ALL WERE A DREAM IT FEELS MUCH MORE LIKE DOOMSDAY FUCK --- ## ALL: THIRTY NINETY— --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## JON: SEEMS LIKE I’M IN FOR A TWISTER I DON’T SEE A RAINBOW— DO YOU? --- ## ALL: TURN THIRTY IN THE NINETIES --- ## JON: INTO MY HANDS NOW- THE BALL IS PASSED I WANT THE SPOILS --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## JON: BUT NOT TOO FAST --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## JON: WORLD IS CALLING- IT’S NOW OR NEVERLAND --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## JON: WHY CAN’T I STAY A CHILD --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AHTHIRTY NINETY --- ## JON: FOREVER AND THIRTY NINETY THIRTY --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: THIRTY NINETY --- ## JON: NINETY THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY --- ## ALL: THIRTY THIRTY NINETY WHAT CAN I DO-? --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: THIRTY NINETY THIRTY THIRTY NINETY, OOH --- ## ALL: WHAT CAN I DO? --- ## MICHAEL: Hey, tomorrow night I want to show you the new place. --- ## JON: Oh yeah. --- Michael’s moving out. --- He’s making so much money he bought an apartment with the bathtub in the bathroom. --- TICK… TICK… TICK… --- ## MICHAEL: And will you please let me set up an interview with my firm? --- ## JON: Lately, Mike’s been worried my musical theatre career isn’t going anywhere. --- And I’m not sure I blame him. --- ## MICHAEL: You’ll love it. --- You’ll be promoted faster than I was. --- ## JON: I haven’t decided, Mike. --- I’m still enjoying my pre-midlife crisis. --- ## MICHAEL: At least think it over. --- ## JON: I’ll think it over. --- ## MICHAEL: All I’m asking. --- See you in the morning. --- ## JON: You going to bed? It’s early. --- ## MICHAEL: I’m still on London time. --- ‘Night. --- ## SUSAN: ‘Night. --- ## JON: Sleep well. --- I need some air. --- I grab a joint and escape to the roof. --- It’s cold. --- I hear a few tick-booms. I’ve spent the last five years writing a musical called superbia, and we’re doing a workshop this week. --- It’s the other reason I’m freaking out. --- We’re putting the show on its feet before an audience for the first time. --- I’m all hope and apprehension. --- It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and if the workshop goes well, --- and if I can get my so-called agent, Rosa Stevens, who hasn’t returned my calls in over six months, to actually come and see it, the show might get some buzz. --- And if there’s enough buzz, the show might be produced, and if the show is produced, it might be a hit— --- And if it is, I won’t have to take the marketing job and I can buy the BMW anyway, and I will have done it all before I’m thirty! --- Or at least I can fudge the dates to make it sound that way in my Sunday Times Arts & Leisure profile. --- I am not proud of this line of thinking. --- But it’s not my fault! It’s hard for people born after 1960 to be idealistic or original. --- We know what happens to ideals. --- They’re assassinated or corrupted or co-opted. --- It’s 1990 for God’s sake. --- It is not an exciting period. --- It is not a period of ferment. --- It’s fucking stodgy is what it is—conservative, complacent, obtuse, and unimaginative. --- Or, to put it another way: George Bush is president of the United States. --- After a minute, Susan comes up from downstairs. --- She’s wearing the dress we had made—a friend who works at the diner with e designed it. --- Everyone we know wants to do something else. --- ## SUSAN: What do you think? --- ## JON: Looks good. --- ## SUSAN: Are you okay? --- ## JON: Sure. --- Just like the view. --- The river… --- ## SUSAN: Are you really thinking about going to work with Mike? --- ## JON: I’ve been waiting tables for four years, Suze. --- I always thought by the time I was thirty I’d either have a hit show or a really lucrative sell-out career, but I’ve got neither. --- Jesus. --- Has turning thirty always sucked? Or is our generation different because we’ve never grown up? Never had a real test. --- A depression. --- A world war, Vietnam—maybe that’s what I need. --- ## SUSAN: Good idea. --- I’ll try to arrange that for you. --- ## JON: Yeah? Thanks. --- ## SUSAN: Anytime, honey. --- ## JON: Susan takes my hand, warming up the whole roof. --- We look out over the river. The lights from the... --- ...prison barge flicker in her eyes. --- You really look beautiful. --- ## SUSAN: Thanks. --- ## JON: That dress looks incredible on you. --- DEEP DARK VELVET HUGS YOUR SILHOUETTE BLACK SILK STOCKINGS YOU’RE MY JULIET --- SOFT BLOND HAIR BABY, BABY BLUE EYES COOL ME DOWN BEFORE I JUMP INTO YOUR THIGHS --- THE GREEN GREEN DRESS TWENTY BUTTONS AND A STRAP THE GREEN GREEN DRESS WHAT A PLEASURE TO UNWRAP --- GREEN GREEN DRESS OH, WHAT IT CAN DO --- OH, WHAT THE GREEN GREEN DRESS DOES TO ME—ON YOU ME—ON YOU --- ## SUSAN: LET’S FIND A CHAIR WHERE WE CAN SIT AND TALK OR GET SOME FRESH AIR MAYBE WE CAN TAKE A WALK --- TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE THINKING TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY TELL ME WHAT TO DO I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY --- ## BOTH: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS TWENTY BUTTONS AND A STRAP THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## JON: WHAT A PLEASURE TO UNWRAP --- ## BOTH: GREEN DRESS OH, WHAT IT CAN DO OH, WHAT THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## JON: DOES TO ME—ON YOU --- ## SUSAN: OOOH --- ## JON: ME—ON YOU --- ## SUSAN: YOU CAN I HEAR YOU LAUGH, BABE? CAN YOU MAKE ME SMILE? --- I’LL FORGET WHAT’S ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE --- ## JON: CAN I TIE YOU UP, LOVE IF YOU TELL ME YES I’LL UNBUTTON EVERY BUTTON DOWN YOUR GREEN GREEN DRESS—OW! --- ## BOTH: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS TWENTY BUTTONS AND A STRAP THE GREEN GREEN DRESS WHAT A PLEASURE TO UNWRAP --- GREEN DRESS OH, WHAT IT CAN DO OH, WHAT THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## JON: DOES TO ME—ON YOU --- ## SUSAN: OOOH --- ## JON: ME—ON YOU --- ## SUSAN: YOU --- ## BOTH: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS ME—ON YOU --- ## JON: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## SUSAN: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## JON: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## SUSAN: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## BOTH: THE GREEN GREEN DRESS --- ## JON: Six a.m. --- The sky glows. Somewhere a bird chirps. --- I want to shoot it. --- ## SUSAN: Go back to sleep. --- ## JON: I can’t. --- I’m too wired. --- Sorry I woke you. --- I’ll just— --- ## SUSAN: No, stay, it’s okay. --- Jon, you know what? --- ## JON: What? --- ## SUSAN: We could just get out of here. --- ## JON: What do you mean? --- ## SUSAN: Live somewhere else. --- Somewhere beautiful, near a beach… Cape Cod… --- ## JON: Leave New York? --- ## SUSAN: Why not? I think the city just wears you down. --- Every time I cross the Triboro I feel five years older. --- ## JON: If I want to write shows, I have to be here. --- If you want to be a dancer— --- ## SUSAN: I am a dancer. --- I’d still be a dancer if I lived in New England, but I’d have a dishwasher. --- At least think it over? For me? --- ## JON: Ah. --- More to think over. --- BREAK OF DAY—THE DAWN IS HERE JOHNNY’S UP AND PACING COMRPOMISE OR PERSEVERE? HIS MIND IS RACING --- JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE—JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE CAN HE MAKE A MARK—IF HE GIVES UP HIS SPARK? JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## SUSAN: SUSAN LONGS TO LIVE BY THE SEA SHE’S THROUGH WITH COMPETITION --- SUSAN WANTS A FAMILY JOHNNY’S GOT A TOUGH DECISION JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE --- ## SUSAN & JON: JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE CAN HE SETTLE DOWN—AND STILL NOT DROWN? JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL: MICHAEL’S GONNA HAVE IT ALL HIS LUCK WILL NEVER END JOHNNY’S BACKED AGAINST THE WALL CAN HE BEND HIS DREAMS JUST LIKE HIS FRIEND? --- ## JON: JOHNNY SEES THAT --- ## JON & SUSAN: SUSAN’S RIGHT --- ## ALL: AMBITION EATS RIGHT THROUGH YOU MICHAEL DOESN’T SEE WHY JOHNNY HOLDS ON TIGHT TO THE THINGS THAT JOHNNY FEELS ARE TRUE --- JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE—JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE HOW CAN YOU SOAR—IF YOU’RE NAILED TO THE FLOOR? JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE—JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO LET GO --- ## JON: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## JON: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: DECIDE --- ## JON: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## JON: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: DECIDE --- ## JON: DECIDE DECIDE DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: DECIDE DECIDE DECIDE --- ## JON: DECIDE --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: OOH --- ## JON: JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE --- ## JON: But right now I have to go to work. --- ## #1 [MICHAEL]: Straight back and to your left. --- ## #2 [SUSAN]: Pick up those fucking eggs! --- ## #1: [Brrrring-Bbbbrrrring] --- ## #2: We’re out of milk! --- ## #1: Who took my rye bread? --- ## #2: Four waters to table seven! --- ## #1: I’m sorry, we don’t deliver on Sunday—I need table three for two, yesterday— --- ## #2: Is there a list? --- ## #1: Harrington! Harrington?? --- ## #2: Kaplan—K-a-p-l-a-n for seven --- ## JON: ORDER! --- ## #1: No—I’m sorry—those people were here first. --- We don’t have tables for seven. --- ## #2: Are we in Smoking? --- ## JON: TENSION! --- ## #1: I’ll have the salad Nick-oyz and some holly break. --- ## JON: BALANCE! --- #2 I SAID I wanted an omelet with no yolks! That’s why you’re just a waiter! --- ## JON: Brunch. --- SUNDAY IN THE BLUE SILVER CHROMIUM DINER --- ON THE GREEN PURPLE YELLOW RED STOOLS --- SIT THE FOOLS WHO SHOULD EAT AT HOME INSTEAD THEY PAY ON --- ## ALL: SUNDAY --- ## JON: FOR A COOL ORANGE JUICE OR A BAGEL --- ON THE SOFT GREEN CYLINDRICAL STOOLS --- SIT THE FOOLS DRINKING CINNAMON COFFEE OR DECAFFINATED TEA --- ## ALL: FOREVER --- IN THE BLUE SILVER CHROMIUM DINER --- ## JON: DRIPS THE GREEN ORANGE VIOLET DROOL --- ## ALL: FROM THE FOOLS --- ## JON: WHO’D PAY LESS AT HOME DRINKING COFFEE --- ## ALL: LIGHT AND DARK --- ## JON: AND CHOLESTEROL --- AND BUMS BUMBS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, --- ## ALL: PEOPLE SCREAMING FOR THEIR TOAST IN A SMALL SOHO CAFÉ --- ## JON: ON AN ISLAND IN TWO RIVERS --- ## ALL: ON AN ORDINARY SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY --- ## JON: BRUNCH --- I sink into a soft leather seat. --- Michael guns twelve fuel-injected Bavarian-engineered market-research-funded cylinders across Houston Street. --- His new Beemer…is fucking awesome. --- The stereo. --- The sleekness… --- ## MICHAEL: Check out the seat. --- ## JON: The seat? … The seat is HEATED. --- ## MICHAEL: And you can adjust it. --- ## JON: This is a car that allows you to adjust the temperature of your ass. --- Michael picked me up from the diner so we can check out his new apartment. --- We zhhhooooooom—past the inhabitants of SoHo, wearing black, black, black, black… --- ## JON: Past the East Village kids with purple pink green blue spike-buzz cuts, jutting through deconstructed SILENCE=DEATH T-shirts… --- Past the Windex, the squeegees, the outstretched palms, the Bowery Nigh Train philosophers. --- How can I possibly leave this behind? --- In a flash, we’re rolling into a circular driveway with a marble fountain in the center. --- He tosses the keys to the parking attendant as we breeze in through the smoked-glass revolving doors. --- Stainless-steel kitchen. --- Polyurethaned wood floors. --- View of the 59th Street Bridge. --- It’s still being remodeled—Remodeled! But my God… --- ## MICHAEL: Jon, welcome to Victory Towers. --- NO MORE— WALKING UP SIX FLIGHTS OF STAIRS OR THROWING DOWN THE KEY BECAUSE THERE IS NO BUZZER --- NO MORE— WALKING THIRTEEN BLOCKS WITH THIRTY POUNDS OF LAUNDRY INT EH FUCKING DEAD OF WINTER --- NO MORE—FAULTY WIRING NO MORE—PAINTED FLOORS NO MORE SPITTING OUT MY ULTRA BRITE ON TOP OF DIRTY DISHES IN THE ONE AND ONLY SINK --- HELLO TO MY WALK-OIN CLOSETS TIDY AS PARK AVENUE HELLO, MY BUTCHER BLOCK TABLE --- I COULD GET USED—I COULD GET USED --- ## JON: Hello? --- ## MICHAEL: I COULD GET USED TO YOU --- NO MORE— CLIMING OVER SLEEPING PEOPLE BEFORE YOU GET OUT THE DOOR OF YOUR OWN BUILDING --- ## BOTH: NO MORE— --- ## MICHAEL: NOXIOUS FUMES—FROM GAS HEATERS THAT ARE ILLEGAL --- ## JON: OR WILL BLOW UP WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING --- ## MICHAEL: NO MORE— --- ## JON: LEAKY CEILINGS --- ## MICHAEL: NO MORE --- ## JON: HOLES IN THE FLOOR --- ## BOTH: NO MORE --- ## JON: TAKING A SHOWER IN THE KITCHEN WHILE YOUR ROOMMATE’S EATING BREAKFAST --- ## BOTH: AND YOU’RE GETTING WATER ON HIS CORNFLAKES --- HELLO TO SHINY NEW PARQUET WOOD FLOORS AS WAXED AS A WEALTHY GIRLS LEGS HELLO, DEAR MR. DISHWASHER --- ## MICHAEL: I COULD GET USED --- ## JON: I COULD GET USED --- ## MICHAEL: I COULD GET USED --- ## JON: I COULD GET USED --- ## MICHAEL: I COULD GET USED TO YOU --- ## BOTH: NO MORE— --- ## JON: EXOTIC --- ## BOTH: NO MORE— --- ## MICHAEL: NEUROTIC --- ## BOTH: NO MORE—ANYTHING BUT PLEASANTLY ROBOTIC --- ## MICHAEL: WE’RE MOVING ON UP --- ## JON: WE’RE MOVING ON UP --- ## MICHAEL: TO THE EAST SIDE --- ## JON: TO THE EAST SIDE --- ## BOTH: TO A DELUXE APARTMENT IN THE SKY— --- HELLO TO DEAR MR. DOORMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE CAPTAIN KANGAROO HELLO, DEAR FELLOW—AND HOW DO YOU DO? --- ## MICHAEL: I COULD GET USED --- ## JON: I COULD GET USED --- ## MICHAEL: EVEN SEDUCED --- ## JON: EVEN SEDUCED --- ## BOTH: I COULD GET USED TO YOU! --- ## MICHAEL: What do you think? --- ## JON: Back home in SoHo, Michael is trying on one of three new Gucci belts he just bought. --- ## MICHAEL: Well? --- ## JON: I don’t know, Mike. --- I haven’t owned three belts over the course of my entire life. --- ## MICHAEL: Try it. --- It’s a good feeling. --- ## JON: I feel relaxed, just hanging out with Mike on a Sunday night. --- Mike and I met at Camp Shawanga, eight years old. --- During the first week, mike was thick with Dion Capporimo, the kid who set fires in the outhouse and bombed the girls with M-80s. --- I hung with Jim Shanahan, volleyball team captain and every counselor’s favorite camper. --- By week two, Mike and I had dumped our old new best friends and found each other. --- We ended up at the same high school, acting in shows together, best friends through it all. --- ## MICHAEL: How’s Susan? --- ## JON: Okay. --- ## MICHAEL: Just okay? --- ## JON: She wants us to move to Cape Cod. --- ## MICHAEL: I am so sorry. --- ## JON: No, maybe I should really think about it. --- ## MICHAEL: You’re not a Cape Cod guy. --- Listen, I’ve got a better idea. --- I want you to come to the office tomorrow. --- ## JON: Oh no. --- ## MICHAEL: They’re doing a brainstorming session for a new product. --- Real creative stuff. You’d be perfect for it. I told them all about you. --- Please? Just come in, no commitment, I promise. --- Just get your feet wet? --- ## JON: Oh, what the hell. --- Sure, I’ll do it. --- ## MICHAEL: Excellent. You won’t be sorry. --- I’m gonna go pack. --- ## JON: You going away again? --- ## MICHAEL: Tomorrow night. Meeting in Atlanta. Departing Newark 6 pm. --- Drive me? --- ## JON: Sure. Is David busy? --- ## MICHAEL: I can’t ask David right now. --- ## JON Why not? --- ## MICHAEL: It’s…complicated. We… --- [phone rings] --- ## JON: Whoops. Sorry, Mike. Hello? --- ## DAD [MICHAEL]: HEL-lo. --- ## JON: Hi, Dad. --- My weekly call from White Plains. --- ## DAD: How’s it feel to be an old man? --- ## JON: I’m not thirty yet, Dad. --- ## DAD: Make good dough at brunch? --- ## JON: Not bad. --- ## DAD: Your sister just got a $40,000 bonus from the law firm. --- And of course you heard the news about Chuck. --- ## JON: My brother-in-law. --- ## DAD: Sold another screenplay! The one he’s been working on for a month. --- ## JON: Arrrgggh. --- ## DAD: Isn’t that marvelous? --- [Call waiting beep] --- ## JON: Hold on, Dad. I’m getting another call. --- ## ROSA [SUSAN]: Jonathan? It’s Rosa. --- ## JON: Rosa? My God, it’s Rosa Stevens, my agent! --- That bitch. She hasn’t returned my calls for months. --- Why is she calling now, on a Sunday night? Is she cutting me loose? --- ## ROSA: Are you excited? ## JON: What? --- ## ROSA: Are you excited about your workshop next week? --- ## JON: She remembered the workshop! --- ## ROSA: I made a few calls, we ought to have some interesting people there for you to meet. --- ## JON: She made a few calls! --- ## ROSA: I just wanted to say good luck, honey. --- See you soon. --- ## JON: Good luck! Interesting people! Rosa, what an angel, she’s a sweetheart, I love that woman, she---whoops. --- Sorry, Dad. --- ## DAD: No problem. --- That’s all the news anyway. Talk to you soon. --- ## JON: Dad signs off the conversation, as always, with the old Bob and Ray line: --- ## DAD: Write if you get work. --- ## JON: And I reply, as always, with “Hang by your thumbs.” --- ## MOM [SUSAN]: Oh, and Jonnie. --- ## JON: My mother has been on the line the entire time. --- ## MOM: You know you can always move in with us for a while. --- DAD grunts. --- If you need to. --- DAD grunts. --- ## JON: Thanks, Ma. --- For the first time in months I think I might not need to. --- I’m just sitting down to do some writing when… [Phone rings.] --- ## SUSAN: Jon? --- ## JON: Susan. --- Hey. --- ## SUSAN: Hey. --- ## JON: You want to come over? --- ## SUSAN: I guess I was hoping you’d come up here. --- ## JON: Susan lives in an illegal sublet on 96th and York. --- It’s pretty late. --- ## SUSAN: Come over. We’ll watch HBO. --- ## JON: She has pirated cable. --- I’m supposed to go into Michael’s office tomorrow. --- ## SUSAN: Sleep here, you’ll be closer in the morning anyway. --- Jon. Are you eighing whether the trip up here is worth the cable TV? --- ## JON: No! --- ## SUSAN: You are, aren’t you? --- ## JON: Of course not. --- ## SUSAN: I mean, I would be in the apartment too. --- ## JON: And I’d be here. It’s just as easy for you to come down to SoHo. --- ## SUSAN: But it’s late and it’s New York, and I’m already in pajamas. --- ## JON: Suze, it’s two subways and a bus. --- ## SUSAN: Take a cab. --- ## JON: I can’t afford cabs. --- ## SUSAN: Well, God, forget it if it’s that much trouble. --- ## JON: No, it’s, I just, I was planning on doing some work tonight. --- ## SUSAN: You’re going to write the great American musical in the next six hours? --- ## JON: Hey, stop it. You know I’ve had trouble working. --- I could use some encouragement. I’m not trying to avoid a commute. --- ## SUSAN: That’s not what I’m saying. --- ## JON: That’s what you’re inferring. --- ## SUSAN: No, you mean that’s what I’m implying. --- And I’m not implying it, you inferred it. --- ## JON: Wait, what? --- ## SUSAN: I can’t believe we’re fighting about this. --- If we’re going to argue, let’s argue about something important. --- Let’s argue about moving up to New England, not about who’s going to take the subway— --- ## JON: Hold it, we’re on New England now? --- ## SUSAN: Should we not be? --- ## JON: Why should we be? --- ## SUSAN: Are you saying we can’t talk? --- ## JON: Are you saying we’re NOT talking? --- ## SUSAN: What are you saying? --- ## JON: What are YOU saying? I’m saying— I FEEL BAD THAT YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT ME FEELING BAD ABOUT YOU FEELING BAD ABOUT --- WHAT I SAID ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ME NOT BEING ABLE TO SHARE A FEELING --- ## SUSAN: IF I THOUGHT THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS THAT I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT SHARING MY THOUGHTS THEN --- MY REACTION TO YOUR REACTION TO MY REACTION WOULD’VE BEEN MORE REVEALING --- ## JON: I WAS AFRAID THAT YOU’D BE AFRAID IF I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS AFRAID OF INTIMACY --- IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY PROBLEM MAYBE THE PROBLEM’S SIMPLY CODEPENDENCY --- ## SUSAN: YES, I KNOW THAT NOW YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHEN --- I SAID “NO” I MEANT “YES, I KNOW” AND THAT NOW I KNOW THAT YOU KNEW THAT I KNEW YOU ADORED ME --- ## JON: I WAS WRONG TO --- ## SUSAN: SAY YOU WERE WRONG TO --- ## JON: SAY I WAS WRONG ABOUT --- ## SUSAN: YOU BEING WRONG --- ## JON: WHEN YOU RANG TO SAY THAT --- ## SUSAN: THE RING WAS THE WRONG THING TO BRING --- ## JON: IF I MEANT WHAT I SAID WHEN I SAID “RINGS BORED ME” --- ## BOTH: I’M NOT MAD THAT YOU GOT MAD WHEN I GOT MAD WHEN YOU SAID I SHOULD GO DROP DEAD --- ## JON: IF I WERE YOU AND I’D DONE WHAT I’D DONE I’D DO WHAT YOU DID WHEN I GAVE YOU THE RING HAVING SAID WHAT I SAID --- ## SUSAN: I FEEL BADLY ABOUT YOU FEELING BADLY ABOUT ME FEELING BADLY ABOUT YOU --- IF I THOUGHT THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS THAT I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT SHARING MY THOUGHTS --- THEN MY REACTION TO YOUR REACTION TO MY REACTION --- WOULD’VE BEEN MORE REVEALING --- I'M NOT MAD THAT YOU GOT MAD THAT I GOT MAD WHEN YOU SAID I SHOULD --- ## BOTH: GO DROP DEAD --- ## JON: IF I WERE YOU AND I’D DONE WHAT I’D DONE I’D DO WHAT YOU DID WHEN I GAVE YOU THE RING HAVING SAID WHAT I SAID --- BUT NOW IT’S OUT IN THE OPEN --- ## SUSAN: NOW IT’S OFF OUR CHEST --- ## BOTH: NOW IT’S FOUR A.M. --- AND WE HAVE THERAPY TOMORROW --- IT’S TOO LATE TO SCREW --- SO LET’S JUST GET SOME REST. --- ## JON: Monday morning. --- The walk to Michael’s office takes me through Time Square. --- The Theater District. --- Jesus, look at these theaters. --- Every show’s from London and every ticket costs a jaw-dropping fifty bucks. --- I guess that’s what they want—the tourists, the snoring businessmen, --- the busloads of sweet old ladies from Connecticut with their 90-decibel cellophane-wrapped hard candies—I want no part of it. --- But let’s face it: Broadway is still the place. --- This is the Parnassus for the musical theater world and for years I’ve been hiking in the foothills. --- Presenting songs in countless workshops, cutting demo tapes, scrounging for grants… --- Once, at a seminar, on a day I will never forget, I got to have my work picked apart—and praised, a little—by my idol, a composer-lyricist so legendary his name may not be uttered aloud by me-- --- [Whispers: Stephen Sondheim.] --- But I write musicals with rock music. --- A contradiction in terms. Broadway’s about sixty years behind anything you hear on the radio. --- You can’t put rock onstage—real rock, not warmed-over easy-listening pop, not plastic imitation ‘50s bubblegum. --- Nevertheless, that’s what I’m trying to do with Superbia. --- Could my show end up here? --- Is it good enough for Broadway, that magical street of dreams? --- Is it too good for Broadway, that shameless commercial whore? --- It’s that raging mix of engy and contempt that’s so…healthy. --- Mike’s office. --- Wow. --- Big cold lobby. Corporate America! --- Hundreds of people and they all look busy. --- Gray flannel execs. --- ## EXEC [MICHAEL]: Tell the West Coast we need to liaise with corporate… --- ## JON: Peacock-faced secretaries. --- ## SECRETARY [SUSAN]: I’m sorry, he’s in a meeting and can’t possibly be reached. --- ## JON: Temps in wrinkled khakis. --- ## TEMP [MICHAEL]: Uh, I think the fax machine is jammed. --- ## JON: And my favorite—the perfect women—the hard-driving, high-cheeked power haircut girls who cruise the avenues like sleek silver bullets. --- ## JUDY [SUSAN]: Jonathan? Hi! Judy Wright. --- Michael’s told me all about you. --- Come with me, I’ll be leading the session. Help yourself to coffee… --- ## JON: Tick… tick… tick… --- ## JUDY: We are so glad you’ve come in! We love “creative” people. --- It’s what we’re all about! --- ## JON: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! --- Conference room. Faux-wood-grain table. --- Aqua Naugahyde chairs. --- ## JUDY: Everybody, this is Jonathan. He’s going to help us out today. --- He writes musicals. --- You know, like Andrew Lloyd Weber. --- Okay, let’s get started! Today we’re embarking on a major endeavor. --- We’re developing a name for a breakthrough new product. --- A chemical to be used in cooking as a fat replacement! It’s tasteless, has no calories, no fat, no cholesterol. --- In fact, it can’t be absorbed into your digestive tract. --- This is going to give Americans a whole new kind of freedom in the way they live and snack, and we need a name that will capture all of the— Yes? --- ## JON: What about “Nutrafat”? --- ## JUDY: Jon, at this point in time we’re really just idea-generating, okay? --- We’re brainstorming, free-associating… It’s a creative-process unlocking session. --- We’re not at the naming phase yet. --- Okay: concepts, people? --- ## KEYBOARD: Health. --- ## MARKET RESEARCH GUY: Goodness. --- ## BASS: Freedom. --- ## GUITAR: Dawn. --- ## KEYBOARD: New Dawn. --- ## JUDY: Hello! Free-Dawn. --- ## KEYBOARD: She’s good. --- ## JON: Hope. --- ## MARKET RESEARCH GUY: Hm? --- ## JON: Hope. --- ## MARKET RESEARCH GUY: Dignity. --- ## DRUMS: Freedom. --- ## BASS: I said that already. --- America. --- ## GUITAR: Destiny. --- ## KEYBOARD: Manifest Destiny. --- ## JUDY: Inalienable rights. --- ## JON: The right to be skinny. --- ## MARKET RESEARCH GUY: The bill of rights. --- ## JON: What’s your problem? --- ## DRUMS: The Founding Fathers. --- ## BASS: The Pilgrims. --- ## GUITAR: The first Thanksgiving. --- ## KEYBOARD: Family. --- ## JUDY: Love. --- ## MARKET RESEARCH GUY: Sex. --- ## DRUMS: Pleasure. --- ## BASS: Desire. --- ## GUITAR: Lust. --- ## KEYBOARD: Urge. --- ## JUDY: Hot. --- ## MARKET RESEARCH GUY : Touch me. --- ## DRUMS: Yes. --- ## BASS: There. --- ## GUITAR: Touch me again. --- ## KEYBOARD: Wow! --- ## JUDY: Yummy! --- ## JON: Where is this going? --- ## JUDY: Okay, terrific! Now I want to move to phase two, turning these general concepts into specific “idea avenues” that will create a context for a process that will facilitate the development of a model that will… --- Yes, Jon. --- ## JON: I’ve got it. --- ## JUDY: You’ve got what? --- ## JON: I’ve got the name for the stuff. --- ## JUDY: Jon, that’s not where we’re… --- Oh, all right, what is it? --- ## JON: “Chubstitute.” --- Rather than call security, Judy allows me to leave the building under my own power. --- So much for my market research career. --- ## MICHAEL: Damn it, Jon, I’m gonna hear about this. --- ## JON: They told me to be creative. --- I was creative. --- ## MICHAEL: Bullshit. --- You didn’t even try. --- ## JON: Hey, I tried. --- ## MICHAEL: Chubstitute? --- ## JON: Come on. How can you take that stuff seriously? --- ## MICHAEL: Because they pay me to. --- Get over in that lane. --- ## JON: What airline are you? --- ## MICHAEL: Delta. --- ## JON: I see it. --- ## MICHAEL: This wasn’t a joke, you know. --- I really had to push for you. --- ## JON: I didn’t belong there, Mike. --- ## MICHAEL: Maybe not. --- But…Jon, for me this is it. --- It’s not some show I can rewrite, or throw away if it’s not working. --- It’s real life. --- ## JON: Do you ever miss acting? --- ## MICHAEL: I don’t miss starving. --- ## JON: But you were really good. --- ## MICHAEL: Not good enough. --- Right here is fine. --- ## JON: Mike. --- You all right? --- ## MICHAEL: Yeah. --- ## JON: You sure? You haven’t had more than a couple of days at home for weeks. --- ## MICHAEL: They get me the best hotels. --- I’m not complaining. --- ## JON: I know. But you’ve really been going all-out lately. --- ## MICHAEL: I like it. --- Keeps me distracted. --- ## JON: From what? --- ## MICHAEL: Nothing. --- I just—sometimes I wonder. --- The life you said Susan wants. It doesn’t sound so bad. --- Some peace, you know? Love. --- A family… if the chance for those things is there, maybe you should grab it. --- ## JON: Yeah? --- ## MICHAEL: Sometimes I wish I could. --- SUNLIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW ACROSS FROM YOUR BED --- BEAUTY IS STILL CAN YOU SEE IT? WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT? --- IS THIS REAL LIFE? IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- HEARTBEATS OF YOUR CHILDREN ASLEEP IN THE NEXT ROOM --- TRUST SO STILL CAN YOU HEAR IT? WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT? --- ## MICHAEL: IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- ## JON: REAL LIFE --- ## MICHAEL: IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- ## JON: IS THIS REAL, IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- ## MICHAEL: WHY DO WE SEEK OUT ECSTASY --- ## MICHAEL & JON: IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES WHY IS IT HARD TO SEE THAT HEAVEN CAN HAVE SIMPLER FACES --- ## MICHAEL: WARM BREATH OF AN ANGEL --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AWAKE NEXT TO YOU LOVE’S SO STILL CAN YOU FEEL IT? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? --- ## MICHAEL: IS THIS REAL LIFE? IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- IS THIS REAL LIFE? IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- I gotta go. --- ## JON: Have a safe trip, okay? --- ## MICHAEL: I’ll see you in a couple of days. --- Don’t wreck the car. --- ## JON: Tick… tick… tick. --- It takes me one and a half hours to get back to Manhattan and park the Beemer. --- I’ve got to go straight to a Superbia rehearsal. --- We’re just running through the musical numbers in preparation for the workshop. --- I need something fast. --- All that driving. --- All that talk about fat substitutes. --- On 9th Avenue I duck into a nondescript storefront. --- Only one thing can cure me now. --- SHE COULD BE A SUCKER, SHE COULD BE A CLOWN ALWAYS GETS TWISTED GOIN’ AROUND AND AROUND --- SHE DON’T CARE—WHAT I LOOK LIKE OR HOW I DRESS THERE’S NO NEED TO IMPRESS --- OH—OH—OH, SUGAR, SHE’S REFINED. --- FOR A SMALL PRICE SHE BLOWS MY MIND. --- SUGAR—SHE’S GOT THE POWER SOOTHES MY SOUL FOR HALF AN HOUR, HALF AN HOUR—HALF AN HOUR—HALF AN HOUR --- I grew up on Tony the Tiger and Cap’n Crunch, but unlike other Boomer Juniors haven’t progressed to more socially accepted fixes, like Ben and Jerry’s. --- I go for the original high-powered numb-busting goodness of the Hostess Twinkie snack cake. --- The only problem is, it’s humiliating to buy a Twinkie. --- I walk up to the counter feeling like I’m seventeen and buying condoms for the first time. --- ## COUNTER GUY [MICHAEL]: Yeah? --- ## JON: Hi, yeah, I’ll just take these, uh, double-A batteries, and a pack of the Bic pens, and uh, a Wall Street Journal, and a Mademoiselle… --- ## COUNTER GUY: And four packages of Twinkies. --- ## JON: Right. --- ## KARESSA [SUSAN]: Jon? --- ## JON: Oh my God. --- ## KARESSA: Jon, hi! --- ## JON: It’s Karessa Johnson! She’s in the show. --- She’s incredibly hot. --- That’s not why I cast her; that would be wrong. --- She is talented and she’s got a great voice, but let’s face it, I’ve fantasized about her more than once. --- And now here she is in line behind me and she’s buying an Evian water and a package of rice cakes. --- ## KARESSA: How’s it going? --- ## JON: Great! You? --- ## KARESSA: Great! I am so excited about the show, it is going to be so good, you are so gifted. --- I’ve been telling everyone… --- ## JON: Really? --- ## KARESSA: It has been so great working with you, I just think it’s so incredible, you’re so young but you’re such a mature talent— --- ## COUNTER GUY: You want me to bag these or you want to eat them here? --- ## JON: Bag, please. --- ## KARESSA: Nothing. --- They’re snack cakes. --- They’re not unlike rice cakes, only cylindrical and injected with cream. --- ## KARESSA: Twinkies! Oh my God. --- I love them! --- ## JON: You do? --- ## KARESSA: SHE’S MY HONEY SHE’S MY TART I’M HER CREAM PUFF SHE’S MY SWEETHEART --- ## JON: KNOCKS ME OUT, STRIPS ME BARE— --- ## ALL: SUGAR—SUGAR—SUGAR --- ## JON: I WON’T CARE. --- ## COUNTER GUY: LATE AT NIGHT --- ## COUNTER GUY & KARISSA: WHEN I’M SAD AND LONELY --- ## ALL: ONE THING ONLY CURES MY BLUES. --- ## JON & COUNTER GUY: STRESSED OUT --- ## KARESSA: BURNED OUT --- ## ALL: HANGIN’ BY A STRING SUGAR—SUGAR—SUGAR, I WON’T FEEL A THING --- SUGAR SO SWEET --- ## JON: ONLY THING I KNOW IS THAT SHE MAKES MY LIFE SUCH A MESS --- SUGAR OH YEAH SUGAR OH YEAH --- ## ALL: SUGAR, OH YEAH—SUGAR OH YEAH --- S-U-G-A-R --- ## JON: Rehearsal goes well. --- I think we’re going to be ready for the performance on Thursday. --- I’m so excited I can barely sit still. --- Maybe this is it. --- Maybe I really have written the show that will reinvent musicals for our generation-- --- —the Hair of the ‘90s—the cultural lightning rod that will energize the twenty-something generation... --- We “slackers,” raised on The Brady Brunch and Reaganomics, armed with nothing but credit cards, VCRs, and Interview magazine... --- Blowing like tumbleweeds through the ‘90s, fighting off the savage arrows of apathy, illiteracy, innumeracy... --- Exploding Visa bills, eating disorders, sexually transmitted diseases, political correctness… --- ## KARESSA: Oh my God, that is all so true! --- ## JON: Karessa’s actually listening to my wired babbling. --- She walked me home. --- She’s really nice. --- When I get upstairs Susan’s waiting for me. --- ## SUSAN: Who were you walking home with? --- ## JON: What? --- ## SUSAN: I saw you from the window. --- ## JON: She’s in Superbia. --- We were discussing the show. --- ## SUSAN: You kissed her. --- ## JON: On the cheek. --- She’s in the show! It’s a cast thing. --- ## SUSAN: Look, I don’t care about that. I… --- ## JON: Susan’s holding a Medium Brown Bag. --- She’s packing. --- I see a sweater, some underwear, her extra contact lens stuff. Her “things.” --- What’s going on? --- ## SUSAN: I got a job. --- ## JON: That’s great! --- ## SUSAN: Teaching. --- Real dancers this time. --- With a company in Northampton. --- I’ll be gone a couple of weeks. --- ## JON: Well, if it’s just a couple of weeks… --- ## SUSAN: Or a month. --- And…it might lead to something else up there. --- ## JON: Something else…permanently? --- ## SUSAN: Maybe. --- Jon, don’t look so surprised. --- It’s not like we’re getting anywhere. --- ## JON: What do you mean? --- ## SUSAN: I can feel us slipping apart. --- ## JON: Look, I know you’d like to leave New York. --- I know you want to make a change. So do I. --- And after my birthday, after the workshop— --- ## SUSAN: I wish everything didn’t depend on what happens at the workshop. --- What if it doesn’t go exactly the way you want? What if you turn thirty and nothing’s changed? --- I’m worried you’re setting yourself up for a big disappointment. --- ## JON: Maybe you’re right. --- Maybe you’re right. --- I don’t know… --- ## SUSAN: I don’t want to be disappointed either. It’s not— --- ## JON: ITS NOT YOU, SHE SAYS IT’S JUST THAT LIFE’S SO HARD --- WE ALL GET BLUE, I SAY HANG ON TIGHT—I’LL BE YOUR BODYGUARD --- SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART --- OH—I JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE --- IT’S SUCH A DRAG, SHE SAYS WHEN THE WORLD’S SO MEAN IT’S JUST A RED FLAG—I SAY GOTTA LOOK FOR THE GREEN --- OH OH OH SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART --- ## JON & MICHAEL: OH --- ## JON: I JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE --- ## SUSAN: I’m not leaving til next week. --- I’ll see you at your party, okay? --- ## JON: Hold on. --- Look, we’re both tired. --- I’ve been impossible. --- I’m sorry. --- I’ve been hysterical… --- ## SUSAN: It’s not just you. --- I know I’ve been demanding… --- ## JON: Stay here? We don’t have to solve everything tonight. --- We’ll order some dinner, go to bed early, just be together. --- Okay? --- ## SUSAN: No. --- I want to go home. --- ## JON: Stay. --- It’s late. --- It’s a long way. --- Two subways and a bus… --- ## SUSAN: I’ll take a cab. --- ## JON: CYNICAL TOWN CAN BE TOUGH ON AN ANGEL --- ## JON & MICHAEL: CLIP HER WINGS, BABY ONE TWO THREE --- ## JON: I’M HER CLOWN CAUSE --- ## JON & MICHAEL: A LAUGHING ANGEL’S RICHER THAN KINGS, --- ## JON: OH, BABY—DON’T YOU SEE? BABY—DON’T YOU AGREE? --- WISH I KNEW WHY, SHE SAYS BUT ON A SUNNY DAY I FIND THE RAIN --- ## JON & MICHAEL: LET’S GIVE IT A TRY, I SAY WE CAN DANCE RIGHT THROUGH THE PAIN --- ## JON: SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: OO—IS THIS REAL LIFE? --- ## JON: SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: IS THIS REAL, IS THIS --- ## JON: SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: REAL LIFE? --- ## ALL: OH OH OH OH OH --- ## JON: I JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE --- JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE JUST WANT TO SEE HER JUST WANT TO SEE HER… --- ## SUSAN: Don’t worry about the workshop. --- I know it will be wonderful. --- ## JON: Hey, Susan, don’t go. --- Look, I’m sorry— …SMILE. --- She’s gone. --- The workshop. --- The show’s about to start. --- The room is totally empty. --- The show’s about to start and I’m staring at six empty folding chairs. --- No one’s here. --- NO ONE HAS FUCKING SHOWED UP! Not Susan, not Michael, not even Rosa fucking Stevens! --- ## KARESSA: Jon. --- ## JON: Karessa! Hey! --- ## KARESSA: Hey, boy genius. --- ## JON: Where the fuck is everyone? --- ## KARESSA: We don’t start for over an hour, Jon. --- The house isn’t open yet. --- Relax. --- ## JON: She kisses me. --- ## KARESSA: It’s going to be great. --- ## JON: The next fifty-five minutes are a blur. --- Michael comes in first. --- ## MICHAEL: Hey, buddy. --- ## JON: Mike! Thank God. --- ## MICHAEL: Where should I sit? --- ## JON: Anywhere. --- Thank you so much for coming. --- ## MICHAEL: Are you kidding? Wild horses, Jon. --- ## JON: There’s an elegant older lady with a cigarette holder. --- She looks familiar. --- ## ROSA: Hello, darling. --- ## JON: Rosa Stevens! It’s been so long since I’ve actually had personal contact with my agent I didn’t recognize her. --- ## ROSA: It’s going to go marvelously, don’t you worry. --- ## JON: To my surprise, she hugs me. --- ## ROSA: You’re perspiring a bit heavily, dear. --- Before they start you might want to go and towel off. --- ## JON: She glides away, I wipe my face… --- ## DAD: HEL-lo. --- ## JON: Hi, Dad. --- ## DAD: Pretty good crowd. --- ## JON: Not bad, right? --- ## DAD: Are they paying? --- ## JON: Not technically, no. --- ## DAD: Next time. --- I’m proud of you. --- Write if you get work. --- ## JON: Hang by your thumbs. --- Suddenly the room is full of friends and the interesting people Rosa promised. --- And the band is tuning up, and just before the lights go down there is a stir and a latecomer darts for his seat— --- Is it? It’s—YES! IT’S HIM!! He’s HERE!! My guru of the musical theater, the most interesting person of all. --- [Whispers: Stephen Sondheim.] --- And my fear…my fear gathers itself into a ball in my stomach and rises, pulsing, into my throat; --- it moves on into my skull, where it takes up residence, hissing and shuddering… --- and then, miraculously, it keeps going: floating up, higher, out of my head entirely, dissolving into the air as it leaves my body— --- And what remains behind is pure excitement and hope. --- Hi, I’m Jon. --- Thanks for coming. --- Today you’re gonna see a new musical called Superbia…written by me… Thank you… --- I don’t really have anything to say except thanks for coming, and I already said that… --- So now I’d better just get the hell off so these people can do their work. Enjoy the show… --- The band plays part of the Superbia overture. And after that it’s a blur again… --- At least until Karissa begins her solo. --- ## KARESSA: YOU’RE ON THE AIR I’M UNDERGROUND SIGNAL’S FADING CAN’T BE FOUND --- I FINALLY OPEN UP FOR YOU I WOULD DO ANYTHING BUT YOU’VE TURNED OFF THE VOLUME JUST WHEN I’VE BEGUN TO SING --- COME TO YOUR SENSES DEFENSES ARE NOT THE WAY TO GO AND YOU KNOW OR AT LEAST YOU KNEW --- EVERYTHING’S STRANGE, YOU’VE CHANGED AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO GET THROUGH I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO --- I HAVE TO LAUGH WE SURE PUT ON A SHOW LOVE IS PASSÉ IN THIS DAY AND AGE HOW CAN WE EXPECT IT TO GROW? --- YOU AS THE KNIGHT ME AS THE QUEEN ALL I’VE GOT TONIGHT IS STATIC ON A SCREEN --- COME TO YOUR SENSES THE FENCES INSIDE ARE NOT FOR REAL IF WE FEEL AS WE DID AND I DO --- CAN’T YOU RECALL WHEN THIS ALL BEGAN IT WAS ONLY YOU AND ME IT WAS ONLY ME AND YOU --- BUT NOW THE AIR IS FILLED WITH CONFUSION WE’VE REPLACED CARE WITH ILLUSION --- IT’S COOL TO BE COLD NOTHING LASTS ANYMORE LOVE BECOMES DISPOSABLE THIS IS THE SHAP OF THINGS WE CANNOT IGNORE --- COME TO YOUR SENSES SUPSENSE IS FINE IF YOU’RE JUST AN EMPTY IMAGE EMANATING OUT OF A SCREEN --- BABY, BE REAL, YOU CAN FEEL AGAIN YOU DON’T NEED A MUSIC BOX MELODY TO KNOW WHAT I MEAN --- DEEP IN MY EYES WHAT DO YOU SEE? DEEP IN MY SIGHS LISTEN TO ME --- LET THE MUSIC COMMENCE FROM INSIDE NOT ONLY ONE SENSE, BUT USE ALL FIVE --- COME TO YOUR SENSES COME TO YOUR SENSES COME TO YOUR SENSES --- BABY, COME BACK ALIVE --- ## ROSA: Jon? It’s Rosa calling. --- I just wanted to say congratulations. --- ## JON: Rosa! Thank you so much for calling. --- ## ROSA: Well, you left eleven messages this morning, dear. --- ## JON: Oh, right. --- ## ROSA: I think you should be very proud. --- Everything went beautifully. --- ## JON: Really? Thanks! The cast was good, I think, and the audience seemed into it— --- Did you see Stephen Sondheim? --- ## ROSA: Stevie? Oh yes, I wanted to chat but he must have snuck out early. --- But everyone had fun. --- Congratulations, honey. --- We’ll talk soon. --- ## JON: Rosa, uh, wait—Do you think…what do you think will happen? --- I mean, does anyone want to move it to the next step, or…I mean, the interesting people, did anybody say anything? --- ## ROSA: Well, Jon, I think everyone was just so intrigued by your talent, and they can’t wait to see what happens next. --- ## JON: What happens next. --- ## ROSA: Yes, be sure to keep me up to date on what you’re working on. --- ## JON: Nothing? No nibbles? Nothing? --- ## ROSA: Honey, we always knew it’s a little quirky for Broadway, and the cast is awfully big for Off-. --- And the futuristic thing means sets are expensive, and the musical theater is Newark Airport and you’re snowed in at Buffalo— --- And now, having plucked out your heart and eaten it like a piece of ripe fruit... --- I’ll leave you to sweep up the fragments of your shattered dreams, bye-bye, honey! --- Oh, and happy birthday! --- ## JON: I get three other calls from friends in the business and they’re all like that. --- ## MICHAEL: Jon? --- ## JON: I go to Michael’s office. --- I can’t do this, Mike. --- ## MICHAEL: Uh? --- ## JON: The theatre, the music. --- I gave it my shot. --- I think I’ve given it an honest try, with all the talent and effort I’ve got. --- And it hasn’t worked. --- I’m not sorry I tried. --- I’m proud of it, but now it’s time to take a hard look at my situation and not be egotistical, not delude myself, just admit it’s time to move on. --- I’ve been stuck. --- Everyone else, you and Susan, have kept moving. --- I’m the only one still here banging my head against the wall. --- My head hurts. --- I’m going to stop for a while. --- The thing is, I can always come back to it, if I want, when I’m older, when I’m smarter, when I’ve figured out a little more clearly what it is I want to do. --- I feel better. --- Just hearing myself say it, I already feel better. --- ## MICHAEL: You’re right. --- I think your heart is telling you something, and I think what you’re saying takes courage. --- I think it takes courage to let all that stuff go. --- I’m proud of you. --- ## JON: You are? --- ## MICHAEL: No, of course not, you fucking idiot. --- What is the matter with you? --- ## JON: I can’t keep doing this! The show— --- ## MICHAEL: Listen, Jon, the show was very good. --- You should be proud of it. --- Everyone loved it. --- ## JON: My friends loved it. --- ## MICHAEL: What’s wrong with that? --- ## JON: No one wants to produce it. --- ## MICHAEL: It’s a workshop. --- You’ll keep working, keep developing it. --- Or you’ll start something else. --- ## JON: Spend another five years on a show that doesn’t go anywhere? I swear to God I ‘ll explode. --- By then I’ll be thirty-five— --- ## MICHAEL: Thirty-five, thirty, who cares? It’s meaningless! Focus on something important! Do your work! --- ## JON: That’s easy for you to say! You’ve got a job, an apartment, a fucking BMW. --- ## MICHAEL: Hold on. --- We both made choices. --- ## JON: I don’t want to sell out. --- ## MICHAEL: You mean like me. --- ## Jon: You said it, I didn’t. --- ## MICHAEL: If it’s the car and apartment that’s bothering you, I’m sorry. --- Why shouldn’t I enjoy those things while I have the chance? --- ## JON: That’s not what I’m— --- ## MICHAEL: Jon. Listen to me. --- All of this—this is just your fear talking. --- You have to take control of it. --- You have to thank your brain for sharing that fear, then ignore it and go on. --- Fear is like Newark Airport— --- ## JON: SCREW NEWARK AIRPORT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FEAR? --- WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING? --- ## MICHAEL: I know I’m sick, Jon, and I’m not going to get any better. --- ## JON: When did you… How long have…? --- ## MICHAEL: Two weeks. --- I wanted to tell you earlier, but I couldn’t. --- Look, if you don’t mind, it’s the middle of the day, and I have a lot of work to do. --- Close the door when you go, okay? --- ## JON: In the elevator I think of sleepaway camp. --- How Michael bribed jim Shanahan with M&M’s to switch bunks so we could whisper in the night. --- I remember being teenagers, when our families rented houses in Hyannis and we’d walk down the beach, hop the fence, and swim for hours together up and down the shore. --- I think of our first summer back from college, when we reunite for a join on the Kennedy breakwater, and Mike told me he was gay. --- The sun is fighting off the January clouds as it sinks behind the park. --- I run from 53rd and Fifth the East Drive, past the Zoo, the Dairy. --- A pay phone! I jam in a quarter, dial Mike—his machine picks up—I try again—same thing—goddamn it!—slam the phone down and keep running. --- I’m running. Past the skaters, past the Carousel, the statue of Shakespeare. --- The Sheep’s Meadow is empty. --- I hop the fence and run to the middle of the field. --- Rain begins falling and I spin myself in circles and stagger around like a wino. --- The TICK-BOOM, TICK-BOOM is so loud I can’t hear the rain on the grass. --- I can’t hear the wind. --- I’m about to scream when I realize I’m not alone. --- Watching me from the hill in front of me are hundreds of seagulls. --- I sprint right into them, waving my arms like a castaway on a desert island spotting a rescue plane. --- They fly up into the air en masse, only to land across the meadow, on another hill. --- I talk to them. --- MY FRIEND IS DYING. --- I’M LOST. --- I’M AFRAID. --- I run past the fountain, the waterfall, up through the woods, to the top of the Belevedere Castle. --- I look down into the empty Delacorte Theatre. --- I see an old rehearsal piano, sitting out under a tarp, below the trees. --- I climb down, hop another fence, and pull off the tarp. --- WHEN I WAS NINE MICHAEL AND I ENTERED A TALENT SHOW DOWN AT THE Y --- NINE A.M. WENT TO REHEARSE BY SOME STAIRS MIKE COULDN’T SING BUT I SAID, “NO ONE CARES” --- WE SANG “YELLOW BIRD” AND “LET’S GO FLY A KITE” OVER AND OVER AND OVER TILL WE GOT IT RIGHT --- WHEN WE EMERGED FROM THE YMCA THREE O’CLOCK SUN HAD MADE THE GRASS HAY --- I THOUGHT HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY --- I MAKE A VOW—RIGHT HERE AND NOW I’M GONNA SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY --- WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN MICHAEL AND I GOT PARTS IN WEST SIDE AT WHITE PLANES HIGH --- THREE O’CLOCK, WENT TO REHEARSE IN THE GYM MIKE PLAYED “DOC”—WHO DIDN’T SING— FINE WITH HIM --- WE SANG “GOT A ROCKET IN YOUR POCKET” AND “THE JETS ARE GONNA HAVE THEIR DAY—TONIGHT” OVER AND OVER AND OVER TILL WE GOT IT RIGHT --- WHEN WE EMERGED— WIPED OUT BY THE PLAY NINE O’CLOCK STARS AND MOON LIT THE WAY --- I THOUGHT HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY --- I MADE A VOW—I WONDER NOW AM I CUT OUT TO SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY? --- WITH ONLY SO MUCH TIME TO SPEND DON’T WANT TO WASTE THE TIME I’M GIVEN --- “HAVE IT ALL—PLAY THE GAME” SOME RECOMMEND I’M AFRAID IT JUST MAY BE TIME TO GIVE IN --- I’M TWENTY-NINE MICHAEL AND I LIVE ON THE WEST SIDE OF SOHO, N.Y. --- NINE A.M. I WRITE A LYRIC OR TWO MIKE SINGS HIS SONG NOW ON MAD AVENUE --- I SING, “COME TO YOUR SENSES DEFENSES ARE NOT THE WAY TO GO” OVER AND OVER AND OVER TILL I GET IT RIGHT --- WHEN I EMERGE FROM B MINOR OR A FIVE O’CLOCK—DINER CALLS, “I’M ON MY WAY” --- I THINK HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY --- I MAKE A VOW—RIGHT HERE AND NOW --- I’M GONNA SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY I’M GONNA SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY --- Saturday night. --- It’s my thirtieth birthday. --- Thirty. Three-O. --- Hey, it’s no big deal. --- Just three decades. What’s thirty? --- DON’T FREAK OUT—DON’T STRIKE OUT CAN’T FIGHT IT—LIKE CITY HALL AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT ALONE YOUR FRIENDS ARE THERE TOO— --- The apartment is warm and noisy. --- I realize I don’t want to escape to the roof, or fly to Cuba, or hide in the bathroom. --- I grab a beer and wade into the crowd. --- INTO MY HANDS NOW—THE BALL IS PASSED I WANT THE SPOILS—BUT NOT TOO FAST THE WORLD IS CALLING—IT’S NOW OR NEVERLAND --- THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY… --- I open gifts. Mostly gag stuff. --- Three Gumbys, two Silly Puttys, and a TV Themes CD. --- Susan’s here. --- I don’t know what to say. She doesn’t either. --- When are you leaving? --- ## SUSAN: Tomorrow. --- ## JON: I’ll really miss you. --- ## SUSAN: I’ll miss you too. --- ## JON: Will you write? --- ## SUSAN: I will if you will. --- ## JON: She hands me a large book. I open it. --- Blank music manuscript paper. --- A thousand sheets. --- Thank you. --- ## SUSAN: Happy birthday, Jon. --- Don’t forget to breathe. --- ## JON: She disappears into the crowd and suddenly Michael’s beside me. --- He tosses me a box. --- I open it. --- Three belts. --- Gucci? --- ## MICHAEL: Not Gucci. --- You’re not a Gucci guy. --- But it’s life-affirming to own multiple accessories, and I want you to experience that. --- ## JON: Thanks, Mike. --- ## MICHAEL: Sure thing. Happy birthday, buddy. --- ## JON: I’m sorry about yesterday. --- I wish I had known. --- I don’t know what to say. --- I’ll be there. --- I promise. --- ## MICHAEL: I know you will. --- [Phone rings.] --- ## JON: I let the machine pick up. --- ## SONDHEIM: Jon? Steve Sondheim. --- Rosa gave me your number. --- Sorry we couldn’t talk after the show. I had to rush out. --- Just wanted to say terrific work. Really. --- I’d love to get together and talk about it. --- Give me a call—and congratulations. --- You’re going to have a great future. --- [Beep.] --- ## JON: What do you know? --- The dreaded moment arrives. --- I’m escorted by a gaggle of smiling faces into the next room. --- People whisper. The lights are turned off. --- The darkness is pierced by a blinding glow. --- They lead me over to the piano to play. --- The tick-tick-booms are softer now. I can barely hear them. --- And I think if I play loud enough, I can drown them out completely. --- WHY DO WE PLAY WITH FIRE? WHY DO WE RUN OUR FINGER THROUGH THE FLAME? --- WHY DO WE LEAVE OUR HAND ON THE STOVE— ALTHOUGH WE KNOW WE’RE IN FOR SOME PAIN? --- OH, WHY DO WE REFUSE TO HANG A LIGHT WHEN THE STREETS ARE DANGEROUS? --- WHY DOES IT TAKE AN ACCIDENT BEFORE THE TRUTH GETS THROUGH TO US? --- CAGES OR WINGS? WHICH DO YOU PREFER? ASK THE BIRDS --- FEAR OR LOVE, BABY? DON’T SAY THE ANSWER ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS --- ## MICHAEL: WHY SHOULD WE TRY TO BE OUR BEST WHEN WE CAN JUST GET BY AND STILL GAIN? WHY DO WE NOD OUR HEDS --- ## MICHAEL & JON: ALTHOUGH WE KNOW --- ## MICHAEL: THE BOSS IS WRONG AS RAIN? --- ## JON: WHY SHOULD WE BLAZE A TRAIL WHEN THE WELL-WORN PATH SEEMS SAFE AND --- ## JON & SUSAN: SO INVITING --- ## SUSAN: HOW—AS WE TRAVEL CAN WE --- ## SUSAN & JON: SEE THE DISMAY— AND KEEP FROM FIGHTING --- ## JON: CAGES OR WINGS? --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: CAGES OR WINGS --- ## JON: WHICH DO YOU PREFER? ASK THE BIRDS --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## ALL: FEAR OR LOVE, BABY? DON’T’ SAY THE ANSWER --- ## JON: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN --- ## JON: WHAT DOES IT TAKE— TO WAKE UP A GENERATION --- ## ALL: HOW CAN YOU MAKE SOMEONE TAKE OFF AND FLY --- ## JON: IF WE DON’T WAKE UP AND SHAKE UP THE NATION --- WE’LL EAT THE DUST OF THE WORLD, WONDERING WHY --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: WHY --- ## SUSAN: WHY DO WE STAY WITH LOVERS --- ## SUSAN & JON: WHO WE KNOW, DOWN DEEP --- ## SUSAN: JUST AREN’T RIGHT? --- ## JON: WHY WOULD WE RATHER --- ## ALL: PUT OURSELVES THROUGH HELL THAN SLEEP ALONE AT NIGHT --- ## JON: WHY DO WE FOLLOW LEADERS WHO NEVER LEAD? --- ## MICHAEL: WHY DOES IT TAKE CATASTROPHE TO START A REVOLUTION --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: IF WE’RE SO FREE, TELL ME WHY? --- ## JON: SOMEONE TELL ME WHY SO MANY PEOPLE BLEED? --- ## JON: CAGES OR WINGS --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: CAGES OR WINGS --- ## JON: WHICH DO YOU PREFER? ASK THE BIRDS --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## ALL: FEAR OR LOVE, BABY? DON’T SAY THE ANSWER --- ## JON: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN --- ## ALL: CAGES OR WINGS? WHICH DO YOU PREFER? --- ## JON: ASK THE BIRDS ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: AH… --- ## ALL: FEAR OR LOVE, BABY? DON’T SAY THE ANSWER --- ## JON: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN, OOH --- ## JON: THEY SPEAKER LOUDER --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN --- ## JON: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN… --- ## MICHAEL & SUSAN: WORDS --- [The music of “Happy Birthday” plays.] ---

Syntax	Example	Reference
# Header	Header	基本排版
- Unordered List	Unordered List
1. Ordered List	Ordered List
- [ ] Todo List	Todo List
> Blockquote	Blockquote
Bold font	Bold font
Italics font	Italics font
~~Strikethrough~~	~~Strikethrough~~
19^th^	19^th
H~2~O	H₂O
++Inserted text++	Inserted text
==Marked text==	Marked text
[link text](https:// "title")	Link
![image alt](https:// "title")	Image
`Code`	`Code`	在筆記中貼入程式碼
```javascript var i = 0; ```	`var i = 0;`
:smile:		Emoji list
{%youtube youtube_id %}	Externals
$L^aT_eX$	L^aT_eX
:::info This is a alert area. :::	This is a alert area.