21 Day Happiness Challenge

Day 1

Take a moment to think about what happiness is according to you

Some people consider it to be-

Success
Working hard and being good at what you do
Living according to a destiny/life purpose
Being healthy in body and mind
Something you have to focus on and work at with discipline.
Love
Challenging yourself/overcoming fears
Moral, ethical thing
Self expression
Loving the absurdity of life

…
What is it to you?

Day 2

Allow yourself to be happy

Most people hold off their happiness proclaiming that they will be happy once they complete this project, lose a few pounds, move, get rid of this cold, etc.

Postponing happiness is a bad habit and sometimes you don't even realize you are doing it.

Avoid phrases like

If only
As soon as

Deeply think about the ways you might be blocking yourself from a fuller, happier life.

Day 3

Get down to the science

Dopamine is well known for creating happiness, but it actually does much more than this. It allows your brain to open up and learn. Intelligent, creativity, energy all rise with more dopamine.

Enhance your body's ability to produce dopamine. Break tasks down into small goals, and recognize your hard work each time one is accomplished. Do not move on without any recognition. Practice being grateful of what you have in your life.

Give yourself a challenge and be proud when you solve it.

Oxytocin is another hormone which is released when close to others. It's released in mothers when their baby is born so they are more inclined to hug and cuddle so that proper bonding occurs. If possible hug those close to you more often. Don't underestimate the power of human touch. Even cuddling with a pet can help as they are also mammals and don't mind some extra oxy.

Serotonin gives you a feeling of happiness and confidence. It can be raised from recognizing your accomplishments, foods (Eggs, pineapple, tofu, salmon, nuts, turkey), exercise.
Endorphins are also released in exercise. Feeling particularly down, go for a run.

Give your body the things it needs to be happy. Get good sleep, eat a well balanced diet, increase the feel good hormones on a daily basis.

Day 4

Include more things that make you happy and less that don't

Write down what really makes you happy and focus on doing those things more often.

Day 5

Stop with the complaining

When you complain you try to make others wrong and yourself right. When you complain you are telling yourself and others that you or your life isn't good enough. With confirmation bias, you will begin to believe it and you won't even realize it.

When you complain you are sometimes leading yourself to failure just by complaining about your circumstances and what might happen.

Make it through the day without complaining.

Day 6

The Power of Gratitude

When you incorporate the opposite of complaining, gratitude, you allow your brain to be rewired into thinking more positive thoughts. You shift your point of view to one that recognizes things to be grateful for more often.

Try to start keeping a gratitude journal.
Can be something as big as your family or partner or something as simple as the sky looks beautiful today.

Be grateful of your circumstances. Be grateful of your past, and the fact that you have a future that can be whatever you want it to be. Be grateful you live in the modern world where there are amazing technologies. No matter what happens today you have the opportunity to make tomorrow better.

Day 7

Think about what you are doing each day that nourishes you

Are you taking time each day to pay attention to your health? It is very common nowadays for people to neglect their health by working long hours or sleeping less, but are you counter balancing those things?

Think of three things right now that will nourish your body.
Sleep more, relax more, make your room darker at night, buy some healthy food alternatives, take a long walk, spend some time with someone you love.

Day 8

Reflect on yourself

It's one thing to know and another to do. You can know these things we've talked about and do nothing about it. Someone can say that you should be taking better care of yourself and you say "yes yes I already knew that". Yet you do nothing about it.

What habits do you notice in yourself that are not serving you or are getting in the way of something better. Do you love yourself? Do you fundamentally believe you are a good person? What daily habits would you like to start incorporating into your daily life? What are you doing everyday to support your happiness? What are you doing every day that limits your happiness? If your inner dialogue was being cast to a radio show, what kind of show would that be?

Day 9

Don't take anything personal

Locus of control- where you blame things. Shifting the locus appropriately takes courage and maturity.

Don't blame yourself for things that are out of your control. When you are at the grocery store and the cashier is rude to you when you try to start conversation. Don't ask "what did I say or do wrong?". Don't sit in the car contemplating about all the reasons you may have been treated this way. The reason is often outside of our realm of knowing. She probably just had a bad day or briefly lost attention.

When you catch yourself blaming yourself, stop and ask is this really about you?

Even when you are complimented, that's great, but don't let if affect you too heavily. When you rely on compliments for your self esteem, it can be dangerous. Understand that a compliment is a reflection of how people see you, which may be accurate or not. Build your confidence from within.

Day 10

How Happy Does your Space Make You?

Does your house, room, bathroom, etc. have any area that you walk by that makes you tense up? Do you hate the color of your living room? Constant reminders of things that stress you can have a huge affect on your daily mood.

This can go for your online space as well. Is your computer disorganized to where every time you think about a folder you cringe? Do you go onto social media and secretly compare and hate others as they post things that annoy you? Limit these items from your line of sight.

Day 11

Practice Forgiveness

Being unwilling to forgive means you shut yourself out from the very solutions that would've helped you move on. You don't give yourself the option to improve.

This goes for yourself as well, since holding onto things that you've done is a constant influence on your view of yourself and the world.

Bring out all those old resentments and see if you can let them go.

Day 12

Play

Think about your charisma as a child and see if you can unlock it again. Children are almost always happy because they live in the moment and play nonstop. Think of childhood memories and see if you can relive them/play again. What excited you half to death? Act like you still feel that way and go do that thing.

Pretend games, hugs for no reason, pranks, frisbee, baking, karaoke, dance, order something silly off the menu.

Day 13

Stillness

Being present is an amazing step in happiness. It releases the bound up energy in all of us. Open up tiny pockets of stillness throughout your life. Realize how you feel in the moment and let all the stress go. Try meditation where you achieve an empty mind and forget about your stresses entirely.

Day 14

Give what you want to receive

To receive you must give. When you let go of your own desires and become a source of happiness for someone else, you affirm your power to create happiness in life.

Don't mix up kindness and Kindness with a capital k. The difference is this. You can volunteer at your local church, and when done claim to yourself that you are a great person. Whenever your character comes in question in the future, you immediately refute it and reinforce that you are a better person than others because duh you do so much for your community. Whether or not it actually helps the community is not the point. This is shallow happiness.

Kindness with a capital K is when someone you love comes home and is snappy with you. Instead of being pissed off and claiming that they are in a terrible mood, you do something nice for them, make them a drink or food, and tell them they hope this helps cheer them up. You don't look for them to return the favor and you don't hold this against them as a reason why you are nice to them. You do it out of the kindness of your heart because you know that is what you would have wanted.
Kindness with a capital K is far more likely to affect you and those around you.

Day 15

More Reflection

At the end of your second week we should take some time to reflect again. This time though you must really look at what you're struggling with. Whether that's something that we've done in these two weeks or whether that is something else in your life that stresses you out to a huge extent. Happiness is not achieved through thought alone. Happiness takes action as well. Maybe it's time to make a major change. Reconsider negative friends, jobs that make you unhappy, etc.

Day 16

Accepting yourself

Realize that even the people that seem perfect have a fair share of their own faults. The most beautiful model, or the best actor has dealt with terrible things in the past, people who have belittled them, things that they hate when they look in the mirror, etc. Realize that you don't have to be perfect to be successful at life. Many successful people don't get over their flaws, but simply live with them. Some even point them out. Think of the comedian that makes fun of his appearance and gets millions of fans because of his brutal honesty towards himself.

We often say things like- This house is great except for that one thing. I am fine with looking at myself in the mirror as long as I have some foundation on. I am almost in shape, but I just need to lose a few pounds.

It's clear we can't live with ourselves unless there are exceptions. You can work to better your life and change some of these things, but in the moment there is no need to criticize yourself. Especially when they are things that you can't change.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself to your past self. If you don't see improvement, think about how you can work on that, but don't beat yourself up for it. Life is not a race, and if it were, everyone would be entered in a different one.

Day 17

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Try something that makes you a little uncomfortable. Comfort zones are nice, but they don't allow you to learn and grow. Plus they don't allow you to feel accomplished when you do complete a new task since everything is always routine.

When trying something that scares you, think of the worst thing that can happen, and then think is that really that bad? Think about how you could handle the worst possible thing and how much it would actually affect you. Feel the fear and try it anyway.

Asking people out, doing that competition you've been meaning to do, joining that programming class, etc.

Take that energy and apply it to the rest of your life. What would your life look like if you did things immediately and without overthinking.

Ideas- no phone, making small talk, exercise, settling through conflict (instead of gossip), giving/receiving critical feedback, waking up early, admit mistakes, negotiating salary, reading

Day 18

Change your perspective

Learn how to put things into a better perspective. From one pov your life problems are completely meaningless, from another the smallest occurrences are cause for celebration. In changing how good your life is, sometimes all you have to do is change how you perceive that life.

Today put some thought into how to deal with things throughout your life like setbacks, mistakes and challenges.

A world view is helpful if it stimulates you to be better and helps you navigate the world and seek out good things. It is less helpful if it slows your development, makes you unhappy, or convinces you of truths that just aren't true.

Things like oh this country is getting worse, these people are crazy, we're doomed. These are just perceptions of something not fact.

Day 19

Live in the Present Intelligently

Out of nowhere it became fashionable to be mindful and present. If you only did that though, you wouldn't make use of our great learning capabilities of the past. So use this skill to become better.

Take the time to be present, but due so with the purpose in the back of your head. So if you are working on a project, don't isolate yourself in the present, but think about how this will benefit you in the future and motivate you to continue working. Don't stop and obsess over how the future could cause you problems, but remain present in the work and keep your goal in mind. Engross yourself in the current task and do so with a schedule. Move from one topic to the next with a plan of how you will do so. Don't spend your day completing tasks that you jump from as you remain present at each one. Sometimes you have to take some time to plan your future so that you can be present more often.

If something wanders into your head while you are trying to do something, get comfortable assessing whether this is of dire importance at this moment. Think about it for a few seconds, and if it is, assess it and get back to work. Most of the time though, you must say "You are not important right now, I don't need you here" and move on.

For example, if you are working and something your family member did in the past continues to wander into your head, don't just move on and say I have to be present without addressing it. See if this is something that you have to address. Maybe mark time on your calendar later on to give that person a call, or see how else you can address it.

Day 20

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts and Beliefs

Imagine if you had a stupid friend who you always believed. He told you that chickens in Africa are only purple and you said really wow. This is essentially like your own thoughts. You hear your own thoughts and often accept them as fact without question.

Don't take your inner voices word for it. Take any belief you have and ask

Is it true? y/n. if no move to 3
Can you absolutely know that its true? y/n
How do you react? How do you feel? What happens?
Who would you be without the thought?

Day 21

Let Go

Write down every last shred of what you want to let go of.

Examples: People you don't like, arguing with reality, resentments about exes or what your parents did way back when, inhibitions about what you should or shouldn't do, guilt about what you did, guild about what you didn't do, stressing about things you have no control over, anger at things you can't change, fear about your future, negative self talk, blame, the idea that you need to be perfect, the idea that you need to be happy all the time, being stubborn about the right way to be, all your opinions, money worries, constantly defending yourself, crippling fear of failure, attachment to end goals/achievements, comparing your life to other peoples, expectations, fear of being alone/abandoned, low self esteem, excuses, lying to yourself, being shy, not defending yourself.