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---

TICK TICK BOOM!

---

[tick… tick… tick… tick… tick… tick…]

---

## JON:
The sound you are hearing is not a technical problem.

---

It is not a musical cue.

---

It is not a joke.

---

It is the sound of one man’s mounting anxiety.

---

I…am that man.

---

Hi.

---

I’m Jon, and lately I keep hearing that sound, that ticking.

---

It’s not a big deal.

---

It’s actually kind of pleasant, like a watch.

---

In one week I’ll be thirty.

---

Three-zero.

---

Older than my dad was when I was born.

---

Older than Napoleon was when he…did something that was probably extremely impressive at the time—I’m not a historian.

---

I’m a composer.

---

Sorry, a “promising young composer.” 

---

I should have kids of my own by now, a career, but instead I’ve been “promising’ for so long I’m afraid I’m starting to break the fucking promise.

---

And I want to get some writing done, but I keep hearing those tick-ticks.

---

And sometimes, after a couple of them, I’ll hear something else – a distant BOOM, 

---

like a bomb has gone off not too far away and the next one might be closer and I’d better look out.

---

[tick, tick]

---

[crashing bang! on piano]

---

So that’s where we are.

---

It’s a Saturday night in January 1990 in my apartment on the edge of SoHo.

---

I’m trying to work, trying to enjoy what remains of my extremely late twenties, and trying to ignore the tick-tick-booms.

---

STOP THE CLOCK—TAKE TIME OUT
TIME TO REGROUP BEFORE YOU LOSE THE BOUT
FREEZE THE FRAME—BACK IT UP
TIME TO REFOCUS BEFORE THEY WRAP IT UP

---

YEARS ARE GETTING SHORTER
LINES ON YOUR FACE ARE GETTING LONGER
FEEL LIKE YOU’RE TREADING WATER
BUT THE RIPTIDE’S GETTING STRONGER

---

DON’T PANIC—DON’T JUMP SHIP
CAN’T FIGHT IT—LIKE TAXES
AT LEAST IT HAPPENS ONLY ONCE IN YOUR LIFE

---

THEY’RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY
YOU JUST WANT TO LAY DOWN AND CRY
NOT JUST ANOTHER BIRTHDAY
IT’S THIRTY NINETY

---

WHY CAN’T YOU STAY TWENTY-NINE, HELL
YOU STILL FEEL LIKE YOU’RE TWENTY-TWO
TURN THIRTY 1990-BANG, YOU’RE DEAD

---

WHAT CAN YOU DO?
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

---

Hey, you know what? Forget it.

---

It’s no big deal.

---

What’s thirty? Just, you know, the end of youth.

---

## MICHAEL:
Jon, you’ve got to chill.

---

## JON:
Michael.

---

My roommate, my oldest and dearest friend.

---

We grew up together, moved to Manhattan, and were starving artists together.

---

Were.

---

Mike was a terrific actor, but he gave it up to become a big-time market research exec.

---

Now, he’s the proud owner of a brand-new BMW.

---

Mike, you’re thirty.

---

Are you happy?

---

## MICHAEL:
Thirty’s great.

---

Thirty’s like Newark Airport.

---

## JON:
Newark Airport?

---

## MICHAEL:
Hard to get to, but once you’re here, fewer delays.

---

## JON:
Mike spends way too much time traveling on business.

---

## MICHAEL:
CLEAR THE RUNWAY—MAKE ANOTHER PASS
RY ONE MORE APPROACH
BEFORE YOU’RE OUT OF GAS

---

## JON:
FRIENDS ARE GETTING FATTER
HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD ARE GETTING THINNER
FEEL LIKE A CLEANUP BATTER
ON A TEAM THAT AIN’T A WINNER?

---

## MICHAEL:
DON’T FREAK OUT—DON’T STRIKE OUT
CAN’T FIGHT IT—LIKE CITY HALL

---

## JON:
AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT ALONE 
YOUR FRIENDS ARE THERE TOO—
THEY’RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
YOU JUST WISH YOU COULD RUN AWAY

---

## JON:
WHO CARES ABOUT A BIRTHDAY—BUT

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
THIRTY NINETY-HEY!

---

## JON:
CAN YOU BE OPTIMISTIC

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
YOU’RE NO LONGER THE INGENUE
TURN THIRTY 1990

---

## JON:
BOOM—YOU’RE PASSE

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

---

## JON:
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

---

## SUSAN:
Jon, breathe.

---

## JON:
Susan’s here too, my girlfriend.

---

We’ve been together two years, it’s great, she’s great, she’s a dancer, but supports herself teaching ballet to wealthy and untalented children.

---

She starts talking about the birthday party she’s planning for next week.

---

## SUSAN:
You’re gonna enjoy it, I promise.

---

I sent out the invitations, the apartment will be full of friends, we’ll have a great time.

---

## JON:
She’s right.

---

Goddamn it, I am looking forward to it!

---

## SUSAN:
And you’ll play “Happy Birthday,” we’ll all sing…

---

## JON:
I have to play it?

---

## SUSAN:
Sure.

---

## JON:
I can’t play “Happy Birthday” for myself.

---

## SUSAN:
Why not?

---

## JON:
I’ve forgotten it.

---

I realize I’ve forgotten how to play the piano completely.

---

Holy shit, have I forgotten how to play the piano because I don’t want to play “Happy Birthday” because I don’t want to—Oh God—grow up?

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH—

---

## JON:
PETER PAN AND TICKER-BELL
WHICH WAY TO NEVER
NEVER LAND?
EMERALD CITY’S GONE TO HELL
SINCE THE WIZARD

---

## ALL:
BLEW OFF HIS COMMAND

---

## JON:
ON THE STREET YOU EHAR THE VOICES—
LOST CHILDREN, CROCODILES
YOU’RE NOT INTO MAKING CHOICES, 

---

WICKED WITCHES, 
POPPY FIELDS OR MEN BEHIND THE CURTAIN
TIGER LILIES, RUBY SLIPPERS

---

## ALL:
CLOCK IS TICKING—THAT’S FOR CERTAIN

---

## JON:
THEY’RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

---

## JON:
I JUST WISH IT ALL WERE A DREAM
IT FEELS MUCH MORE LIKE
DOOMSDAY
FUCK

---

## ALL:
THIRTY NINETY—

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

---

## JON:
SEEMS LIKE I’M IN FOR A TWISTER
I DON’T SEE A RAINBOW—
DO YOU?

---

## ALL:
TURN THIRTY IN THE NINETIES

---

## JON:
INTO MY HANDS NOW-
THE BALL IS PASSED
I WANT THE SPOILS

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

---

## JON:
BUT NOT TOO FAST

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

---

## JON:
WORLD IS CALLING-
IT’S NOW OR
NEVERLAND

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

---

## JON:
WHY CAN’T I STAY A CHILD

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AHTHIRTY NINETY

---

## JON:
FOREVER
AND THIRTY NINETY THIRTY

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
THIRTY NINETY

---

## JON:
NINETY
THIRTY NINETY THIRTY
NINETY
THIRTY NINETY

---

## ALL:
THIRTY THIRTY NINETY
WHAT CAN I DO-?

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
THIRTY NINETY
THIRTY THIRTY NINETY, OOH

---

## ALL:
WHAT CAN I DO?

---

## MICHAEL:
Hey, tomorrow night I want to show you the new place.

---

## JON:
Oh yeah.

---

Michael’s moving out.

---

He’s making so much money he bought an apartment with the bathtub in the bathroom.

---



TICK… TICK… TICK…

---

## MICHAEL:
And will you please let me set up an interview with my firm?

---

## JON:
Lately, Mike’s been worried my musical theatre career isn’t going anywhere.

---

And I’m not sure I blame him.

---

## MICHAEL:
You’ll love it.

---

You’ll be promoted faster than I was.

---

## JON:
I haven’t decided, Mike.

---

I’m still enjoying my pre-midlife crisis.

---

## MICHAEL:
At least think it over.

---

## JON:
I’ll think it over.

---

## MICHAEL:
All I’m asking.

---

See you in the morning.

---

## JON:
You going to bed? It’s early.

---

## MICHAEL:
I’m still on London time.

---

‘Night.

---

## SUSAN:
‘Night.

---

## JON:
Sleep well.

---

I need some air.

---

I grab a joint and escape to the roof.

---

It’s cold.

---

I hear a few tick-booms. I’ve spent the last five years writing a musical called superbia, and we’re doing a workshop this week.

---

It’s the other reason I’m freaking out.

---

We’re putting the show on its feet before an audience for the first time.

---

I’m all hope and apprehension.

---

It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and if the workshop goes well, 

---

and if I can get my so-called agent, Rosa Stevens, who hasn’t returned my calls in over six months, to actually come and see it, the show might get some buzz.

---

And if there’s enough buzz, the show might be produced, and if the show is produced, it might be a hit—

---

And if it is, I won’t have to take the marketing job and I can buy the BMW anyway, and I will have done it all before I’m thirty! 

---

Or at least I can fudge the dates to make it sound that way in my Sunday Times Arts & Leisure profile.

---

I am not proud of this line of thinking.

---

But it’s not my fault! It’s hard for people born after 1960 to be idealistic or original.

---

We know what happens to ideals.

---

They’re assassinated or corrupted or co-opted.

---

It’s 1990 for God’s sake.

---

It is not an exciting period.

---

It is not a period of ferment.

---

It’s fucking stodgy is what it is—conservative, complacent, obtuse, and unimaginative.

---

Or, to put it another way: George Bush is president of the United States.

---



After a minute, Susan comes up from downstairs.

---

She’s wearing the dress we had made—a friend who works at the diner with e designed it.

---

Everyone we know wants to do something else.

---

## SUSAN:
What do you think?

---

## JON:
Looks good.

---

## SUSAN:
Are you okay?

---

## JON:
Sure.

---

Just like the view.

---

The river…

---

## SUSAN:
Are you really thinking about going to work with Mike?

---

## JON:
I’ve been waiting tables for four years, Suze.

---

I always thought by the time I was thirty I’d either have a hit show or a really lucrative sell-out career, but I’ve got neither.

---

Jesus.

---

Has turning thirty always sucked? Or is our generation different because we’ve never grown up? Never had a real test.

---

A depression.

---

A world war, Vietnam—maybe that’s what I need.

---

## SUSAN:
Good idea.

---

I’ll try to arrange that for you.

---

## JON:
Yeah? Thanks.

---

## SUSAN:
Anytime, honey.

---

## JON:
Susan takes my hand, warming up the whole roof.

---

We look out over the river. The lights from the... 

---

...prison barge flicker in her eyes.

---

You really look beautiful.

---

## SUSAN:
Thanks.

---

## JON:
That dress looks incredible on you.

---



DEEP DARK VELVET
HUGS YOUR SILHOUETTE
BLACK SILK STOCKINGS 
YOU’RE MY JULIET

---

SOFT BLOND HAIR BABY,
BABY BLUE EYES
COOL ME DOWN 
BEFORE I JUMP INTO YOUR THIGHS

---

THE GREEN GREEN DRESS
TWENTY BUTTONS AND A STRAP
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS
WHAT A PLEASURE TO UNWRAP

---

GREEN GREEN DRESS
OH, WHAT IT CAN DO

---

OH, WHAT THE GREEN GREEN DRESS
DOES TO ME—ON YOU
ME—ON YOU

---

## SUSAN:
LET’S FIND A CHAIR
WHERE WE CAN SIT AND TALK 
OR GET SOME FRESH AIR
MAYBE WE CAN TAKE A WALK

---

TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE THINKING 
TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY
TELL ME WHAT TO DO
I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY

---

## BOTH:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS
TWENTY BUTTONS AND A STRAP
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## JON:
WHAT A PLEASURE TO UNWRAP

---

## BOTH:
GREEN DRESS
OH, WHAT IT CAN DO
OH, WHAT THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## JON:
DOES TO ME—ON YOU

---

## SUSAN:
OOOH

---

## JON:
ME—ON YOU

---

## SUSAN:
YOU

CAN I HEAR YOU LAUGH, BABE?

CAN YOU MAKE ME SMILE?

---

I’LL FORGET WHAT’S ON MY MIND
FOR A WHILE

---

## JON:
CAN I TIE YOU UP, LOVE
IF YOU TELL ME YES
I’LL UNBUTTON EVERY BUTTON
DOWN YOUR GREEN GREEN DRESS—OW!

---

## BOTH:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS
TWENTY BUTTONS AND A STRAP
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS 
WHAT A PLEASURE TO UNWRAP

---

GREEN DRESS
OH, WHAT IT CAN DO
OH, WHAT THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## JON:
DOES TO ME—ON YOU

---

## SUSAN:
OOOH

---

## JON:
ME—ON YOU

---

## SUSAN:
YOU

---

## BOTH:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS
ME—ON YOU

---

## JON:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## SUSAN:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## JON:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## SUSAN:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## BOTH:
THE GREEN GREEN DRESS

---

## JON:
Six a.m.

---

The sky glows.
Somewhere a bird chirps.

---

I want to shoot it.

---

## SUSAN:
Go back to sleep.

---

## JON:
I can’t.

---

I’m too wired.

---

Sorry I woke you.

---

I’ll just—

---

## SUSAN:
No, stay, it’s okay.

---

Jon, you know what?

---

## JON:
What?

---

## SUSAN:
We could just get out of here.

---

## JON:
What do you mean?

---

## SUSAN:
Live somewhere else.

---

Somewhere beautiful, near a beach…
Cape Cod…

---

## JON:
Leave New York?

---

## SUSAN:
Why not? I think the city just wears you down.

---

Every time I cross the Triboro I feel five years older.

---

## JON:
If I want to write shows, I have to be here.

---

If you want to be a dancer—

---

## SUSAN:
I am a dancer.

---

I’d still be a dancer if I lived in New England, but I’d have a dishwasher.

---

At least think it over? For me?

---

## JON:
Ah.

---

More to think over.

---

BREAK OF DAY—THE DAWN IS HERE
JOHNNY’S UP AND PACING
COMRPOMISE OR PERSEVERE?
HIS MIND IS RACING

---

JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE—JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE
CAN HE MAKE A MARK—IF HE GIVES UP HIS SPARK?
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## SUSAN:
SUSAN LONGS TO LIVE BY THE SEA
SHE’S THROUGH WITH COMPETITION

---

SUSAN WANTS A FAMILY
JOHNNY’S GOT A TOUGH DECISION
JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE

---

## SUSAN & JON:
JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE
CAN HE SETTLE DOWN—AND STILL NOT DROWN?
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL:
MICHAEL’S GONNA HAVE IT ALL
HIS LUCK WILL NEVER END
JOHNNY’S BACKED AGAINST THE WALL
CAN HE BEND HIS DREAMS JUST LIKE HIS FRIEND?

---

## JON:
JOHNNY SEES THAT

---

## JON & SUSAN:
SUSAN’S RIGHT

---

## ALL:
AMBITION EATS RIGHT THROUGH YOU
MICHAEL DOESN’T SEE WHY JOHNNY HOLDS ON TIGHT
TO THE THINGS THAT JOHNNY FEELS ARE TRUE

---

JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE—JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE
HOW CAN YOU SOAR—IF YOU’RE NAILED TO THE FLOOR?
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

JOHNNY HAS NO GUIDE—JOHNNY WANTS TO HIDE
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO LET GO

---

## JON:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## JON:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
DECIDE

---

## JON:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## JON:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
DECIDE

---

## JON:
DECIDE DECIDE DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
DECIDE DECIDE DECIDE

---

## JON:
DECIDE

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
OOH

---

## JON:
JOHNNY CAN’T DECIDE

---

## JON:
But right now I have to go to work.

---

## #1 [MICHAEL]:
Straight back and to your left.

---


## #2 [SUSAN]:
Pick up those fucking eggs!

---

## #1:
[Brrrring-Bbbbrrrring]

---

## #2:
We’re out of milk!

---

## #1:
Who took my rye bread?

---

## #2:
Four waters to table seven!

---

## #1:
I’m sorry, we don’t deliver on Sunday—I need table three for two, yesterday—

---

## #2:
Is there a list?

---

## #1:
Harrington! Harrington??

---

## #2:
Kaplan—K-a-p-l-a-n for seven

---

## JON:
ORDER!

---

## #1:
No—I’m sorry—those people were here first.

---

We don’t have tables for seven.

---


## #2:
Are we in Smoking?

---

## JON:
TENSION!

---

## #1:
I’ll have the salad Nick-oyz and some holly break.

---

## JON:
BALANCE!

---

#2
I SAID I wanted an omelet with no yolks! That’s why you’re just a waiter!

---

## JON:
Brunch.

---

SUNDAY
IN THE BLUE
SILVER CHROMIUM DINER

---

ON THE GREEN
PURPLE YELLOW RED STOOLS

---

SIT THE FOOLS
WHO SHOULD EAT AT HOME
INSTEAD THEY PAY ON

---

## ALL:
SUNDAY

---

## JON:
FOR A COOL
ORANGE JUICE OR A BAGEL

---

ON THE SOFT
GREEN CYLINDRICAL STOOLS

---

SIT THE FOOLS
DRINKING CINNAMON COFFEE
OR DECAFFINATED TEA

---

## ALL:
FOREVER 

---

IN THE BLUE
SILVER CHROMIUM DINER

---

## JON:
DRIPS THE GREEN
ORANGE VIOLET DROOL

---

## ALL:
FROM THE FOOLS

---

## JON:
WHO’D PAY LESS AT HOME
DRINKING COFFEE

---

## ALL:
LIGHT
AND DARK

---

## JON:
AND CHOLESTEROL

---

AND BUMS BUMBS, BUMS, 
BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS, BUMS,

---

## ALL:
PEOPLE SCREAMING FOR THEIR TOAST
IN A SMALL SOHO CAFÉ

---

## JON:
ON AN ISLAND IN
TWO RIVERS

---

## ALL:
ON AN ORDINARY 
SUNDAY
SUNDAY
SUNDAY

---

## JON:
BRUNCH

---

I sink into a soft leather seat.

---

Michael guns twelve fuel-injected Bavarian-engineered market-research-funded cylinders across Houston Street.

---

His new Beemer…is fucking awesome.

---

The stereo.

---

The sleekness…

---

## MICHAEL:
Check out the seat.

---

## JON:
The seat? … The seat is HEATED.

---

## MICHAEL:
And you can adjust it.

---

## JON:
This is a car that allows you to adjust the temperature of your ass.

---

Michael picked me up from the diner so we can check out his new apartment.

---

We zhhhooooooom—past the inhabitants of SoHo, wearing black, black, black, black…

---

## JON:
Past the East Village kids with purple pink green blue spike-buzz cuts, jutting through deconstructed SILENCE=DEATH T-shirts…

---

Past the Windex, the squeegees, the outstretched palms, the Bowery Nigh Train philosophers.

---

How can I possibly leave this behind?

---

In a flash, we’re rolling into a circular driveway with a marble fountain in the center.

---



He tosses the keys to the parking attendant as we breeze in through the smoked-glass revolving doors.

---

Stainless-steel kitchen.

---

Polyurethaned wood floors.

---

View of the 59th Street Bridge.

---

It’s still being remodeled—Remodeled! But my God…

---

## MICHAEL:
Jon, welcome to Victory Towers.

---

NO MORE—
WALKING UP SIX FLIGHTS OF STAIRS
OR THROWING DOWN THE KEY BECAUSE THERE IS NO BUZZER

---

NO MORE—
WALKING THIRTEEN BLOCKS WITH THIRTY POUNDS
OF LAUNDRY INT EH FUCKING DEAD OF WINTER

---

NO MORE—FAULTY WIRING
NO MORE—PAINTED FLOORS
NO MORE SPITTING OUT MY ULTRA BRITE
ON TOP OF DIRTY DISHES IN THE ONE AND ONLY SINK

---

HELLO TO MY WALK-OIN CLOSETS
TIDY AS PARK AVENUE
HELLO, MY BUTCHER BLOCK TABLE

---

I COULD GET USED—I COULD GET USED

---

## JON:
Hello?

---

## MICHAEL:
I COULD GET USED TO YOU

---

NO MORE—
CLIMING OVER SLEEPING PEOPLE
BEFORE YOU GET OUT THE DOOR OF YOUR OWN BUILDING

---

## BOTH:
NO MORE—

---

## MICHAEL:
NOXIOUS FUMES—FROM GAS HEATERS THAT ARE ILLEGAL

---

## JON:
OR WILL BLOW UP WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING

---

## MICHAEL:
NO MORE—

---

## JON:
LEAKY CEILINGS


---

## MICHAEL:
NO MORE

---

## JON:
HOLES IN THE FLOOR

---

## BOTH:
NO MORE

---

## JON:
TAKING A SHOWER IN THE KITCHEN
WHILE YOUR ROOMMATE’S EATING BREAKFAST

---

## BOTH:
AND YOU’RE GETTING WATER ON HIS CORNFLAKES

---

HELLO TO SHINY NEW PARQUET WOOD FLOORS 
AS WAXED AS A WEALTHY GIRLS LEGS
HELLO, DEAR MR. DISHWASHER

---

## MICHAEL:
I COULD GET USED

---

## JON:
I COULD GET USED

---

## MICHAEL:
I COULD GET USED

---

## JON:
I COULD GET USED

---

## MICHAEL:
I COULD GET USED TO YOU

---

## BOTH:
NO MORE—

---

## JON:
EXOTIC

---

## BOTH:
NO MORE—

---

## MICHAEL:
NEUROTIC

---

## BOTH:
NO MORE—ANYTHING BUT PLEASANTLY ROBOTIC

---

## MICHAEL:
WE’RE MOVING ON UP

---

## JON:
WE’RE MOVING ON UP

---

## MICHAEL:
TO THE EAST SIDE

---

## JON:
TO THE EAST SIDE

---

## BOTH:
TO A DELUXE APARTMENT IN THE SKY—

---

HELLO TO DEAR MR. DOORMAN
WHO LOOKS LIKE CAPTAIN KANGAROO
HELLO, DEAR FELLOW—AND HOW DO YOU DO?

---

## MICHAEL:
I COULD GET USED

---

## JON:
I COULD GET USED

---

## MICHAEL:
EVEN SEDUCED

---

## JON:
EVEN SEDUCED

---

## BOTH:
I COULD GET USED TO YOU!

---

## MICHAEL:
What do you think?

---

## JON:
Back home in SoHo, Michael is trying on one of three new Gucci belts he just bought.

---

## MICHAEL:
Well?

---

## JON:
I don’t know, Mike.

---

I haven’t owned three belts over the course of my entire life.

---

## MICHAEL:
Try it.

---

It’s a good feeling.

---

## JON:
I feel relaxed, just hanging out with Mike on a Sunday night.

---



Mike and I met at Camp Shawanga, eight years old.

---

During the first week, mike was thick with Dion Capporimo, the kid who set fires in the outhouse and bombed the girls with M-80s.

---

I hung with Jim Shanahan, volleyball team captain and every counselor’s favorite camper.

---

By week two, Mike and I had dumped our old new best friends and found each other.

---

We ended up at the same high school, acting in shows together, best friends through it all.

---

## MICHAEL:

How’s Susan?

---

## JON:
Okay.

---

## MICHAEL:
Just okay?

---

## JON:
She wants us to move to Cape Cod.

---

## MICHAEL:
I am so sorry.

---

## JON:
No, maybe I should really think about it.

---

## MICHAEL:
You’re not a Cape Cod guy.

---

Listen, I’ve got a better idea.

---

I want you to come to the office tomorrow.

---

## JON:
Oh no.

---

## MICHAEL:
They’re doing a brainstorming session for a new product.

---

Real creative stuff. You’d be perfect for it. I told them all about you.

---

Please? Just come in, no commitment, I promise.

---

Just get your feet wet?

---

## JON:
Oh, what the hell.

---

Sure, I’ll do it.

---

## MICHAEL:
Excellent. You won’t be sorry.

---

I’m gonna go pack.

---

## JON:
You going away again? 

---

## MICHAEL:
Tomorrow night. Meeting in Atlanta. Departing Newark 6 pm.

---

Drive me?

---

## JON:
Sure. Is David busy?

---

## MICHAEL:
I can’t ask David right now.

---



## JON
Why not?

---

## MICHAEL:
It’s…complicated. We…

---

[phone rings]

---

## JON:
Whoops. Sorry, Mike. Hello?

---

## DAD [MICHAEL]:
HEL-lo.

---

## JON:
Hi, Dad.

---


My weekly call from White Plains.

---

## DAD:
How’s it feel to be an old man?

---

## JON:
I’m not thirty yet, Dad.

---

## DAD:
Make good dough at brunch?

---

## JON:
Not bad.

---

## DAD:
Your sister just got a $40,000 bonus from the law firm.

---

And of course you heard the news about Chuck.

---

## JON:
My brother-in-law.

---

## DAD:
Sold another screenplay! The one he’s been working on for a month.

---

## JON:
Arrrgggh.

---

## DAD:
Isn’t that marvelous?

---

[Call waiting beep]

---

## JON:
Hold on, Dad. I’m getting another call.

---

## ROSA [SUSAN]:
Jonathan? It’s Rosa.

---

## JON:
Rosa? My God, it’s Rosa Stevens, my agent! 

---

That bitch. She hasn’t returned my calls for months.

---

Why is she calling now, on a Sunday night? Is she cutting me loose?

---

## ROSA:
Are you excited?

## JON:
What?

---

## ROSA:
Are you excited about your workshop next week?

---

## JON:
She remembered the workshop!

---

## ROSA:
I made a few calls, we ought to have some interesting people there for you to meet.

---

## JON:
She made a few calls!

---

## ROSA:
I just wanted to say good luck, honey.

---

See you soon.

---

## JON:
Good luck! Interesting people! Rosa, what an angel, she’s a sweetheart, I love that woman, she---whoops.

---

Sorry, Dad.

---

## DAD:
No problem.

---

That’s all the news anyway. Talk to you soon.

---

## JON:
Dad signs off the conversation, as always, with the old Bob and Ray line:

---

## DAD:
Write if you get work.

---

## JON:
And I reply, as always, with “Hang by your thumbs.”

---

## MOM [SUSAN]:
Oh, and Jonnie.

---

## JON:
My mother has been on the line the entire time.

---

## MOM:
You know you can always move in with us for a while.

---



DAD grunts.

---



If you need to.

---



DAD grunts.

---

## JON:
Thanks, Ma.

---


For the first time in months I think I might not need to.

---

I’m just sitting down to do some writing when…

[Phone rings.]

---

## SUSAN:
Jon?

---

## JON:
Susan.

---

Hey.

---

## SUSAN:
Hey.

---

## JON:
You want to come over?

---

## SUSAN:
I guess I was hoping you’d come up here.

---

## JON:
Susan lives in an illegal sublet on 96th and York.

---

It’s pretty late.

---

## SUSAN:
Come over. We’ll watch HBO.

---

## JON:
She has pirated cable.

---


I’m supposed to go into Michael’s office tomorrow.

---

## SUSAN:
Sleep here, you’ll be closer in the morning anyway.

---

Jon. Are you eighing whether the trip up here is worth the cable TV?

---

## JON:
No!

---

## SUSAN:
You are, aren’t you?

---

## JON:
Of course not.

---

## SUSAN:
I mean, I would be in the apartment too.

---

## JON:
And I’d be here. It’s just as easy for you to come down to SoHo.


---

## SUSAN:
But it’s late and it’s New York, and I’m already in pajamas.

---

## JON:
Suze, it’s two subways and a bus.

---

## SUSAN:
Take a cab.

---

## JON:
I can’t afford cabs.

---

## SUSAN:
Well, God, forget it if it’s that much trouble.

---

## JON:
No, it’s, I just, I was planning on doing some work tonight.

---

## SUSAN:
You’re going to write the great American musical in the next six hours?

---

## JON:
Hey, stop it. You know I’ve had trouble working.

---

I could use some encouragement. I’m not trying to avoid a commute.

---

## SUSAN:
That’s not what I’m saying.

---

## JON:
That’s what you’re inferring.

---

## SUSAN:
No, you mean that’s what I’m implying.

---

And I’m not implying it, you inferred it.

---

## JON:
Wait, what?

---

## SUSAN:
I can’t believe we’re fighting about this.

---

If we’re going to argue, let’s argue about something important.

---

Let’s argue about moving up to New England, not about who’s going to take the subway—

---

## JON:
Hold it, we’re on New England now?

---

## SUSAN:
Should we not be?

---

## JON:
Why should we be?

---

## SUSAN:
Are you saying we can’t talk?

---

## JON:
Are you saying we’re NOT talking?

---

## SUSAN:
What are you saying?

---

## JON:
What are YOU saying? I’m saying—

I FEEL BAD THAT 
YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT
ME FEELING BAD ABOUT
YOU FEELING BAD ABOUT

---

WHAT I SAID ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT
ME NOT BEING ABLE TO SHARE A FEELING

---

## SUSAN:
IF I THOUGHT THAT 
WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS THAT 
I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT 
SHARING MY THOUGHTS THEN 

---

MY REACTION TO 
YOUR REACTION TO
MY REACTION
WOULD’VE BEEN MORE REVEALING

---

## JON:
I WAS AFRAID THAT
YOU’D BE AFRAID 
IF I TOLD YOU
THAT I WAS AFRAID OF INTIMACY

---

IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH MY PROBLEM
MAYBE THE PROBLEM’S
SIMPLY CODEPENDENCY

---

## SUSAN:
YES, I KNOW THAT 
NOW YOU KNOW THAT
I DIDN’T KNOW THAT
YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHEN 

---

I SAID “NO” I MEANT
“YES, I KNOW” AND THAT
NOW I KNOW THAT YOU
KNEW THAT I KNEW YOU ADORED ME

---

## JON:
I WAS WRONG TO 

---

## SUSAN:
SAY YOU WERE WRONG TO 

---

## JON:
SAY I WAS WRONG ABOUT

---

## SUSAN:
YOU BEING WRONG

---

## JON:
WHEN YOU RANG TO SAY THAT

---

## SUSAN:
THE RING WAS THE WRONG THING TO BRING

---

## JON:
IF I MEANT WHAT I SAID
WHEN I SAID “RINGS BORED ME”

---

## BOTH:
I’M NOT MAD THAT 
YOU GOT MAD WHEN
I GOT MAD WHEN YOU
SAID I SHOULD GO DROP DEAD

---

## JON:
IF I WERE YOU AND I’D 
DONE WHAT I’D DONE I’D
DO WHAT YOU DID WHEN I 
GAVE YOU THE RING HAVING
SAID WHAT I SAID

---

## SUSAN:
I 
FEEL
BADLY
ABOUT YOU 
FEELING BADLY
ABOUT ME FEELING BADLY
ABOUT YOU

---

IF I THOUGHT THAT 
WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS
THAT I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT
SHARING MY THOUGHTS 

---

THEN 
MY REACTION TO
YOUR REACTION TO 
MY REACTION 

---

WOULD’VE BEEN
MORE REVEALING

---

I'M NOT MAD THAT
YOU GOT MAD THAT
I GOT MAD WHEN YOU
SAID I SHOULD

---

## BOTH:
GO DROP DEAD

---

## JON:
IF I WERE YOU AND I’D 
DONE WHAT I’D DONE I’D
DO WHAT YOU DID WHEN I 
GAVE YOU THE RING HAVING 
SAID WHAT I SAID

---

BUT NOW IT’S OUT IN THE OPEN

---

## SUSAN:
NOW IT’S OFF OUR CHEST

---

## BOTH:
NOW IT’S FOUR A.M.

---

AND WE HAVE THERAPY TOMORROW

---

IT’S TOO LATE TO SCREW

---

SO LET’S JUST GET SOME REST.

---

## JON:
Monday morning.

---

The walk to Michael’s office takes me through Time Square.

---

The Theater District.

---

Jesus, look at these theaters.

---

Every show’s from London and every ticket costs a jaw-dropping fifty bucks.

---

I guess that’s what they want—the tourists, the snoring businessmen, 

---

the busloads of sweet old ladies from Connecticut with their 90-decibel cellophane-wrapped hard candies—I want no part of it.

---



But let’s face it: Broadway is still the place.

---

This is the Parnassus for the musical theater world and for years I’ve been hiking in the foothills.

---

Presenting songs in countless workshops, cutting demo tapes, scrounging for grants…

---

Once, at a seminar, on a day I will never forget, I got to have my work picked apart—and praised, a little—by my idol, a composer-lyricist so legendary his name may not be uttered aloud by me-- 

---

[Whispers: Stephen Sondheim.]

---



But I write musicals with rock music.

---

A contradiction in terms. Broadway’s about sixty years behind anything you hear on the radio.

---

You can’t put rock onstage—real rock, not warmed-over easy-listening pop, not plastic imitation ‘50s bubblegum.

---

Nevertheless, that’s what I’m trying to do with Superbia.

---



Could my show end up here? 

---

Is it good enough for Broadway, that magical street of dreams? 

---

Is it too good for Broadway, that shameless commercial whore? 

---

It’s that raging mix of engy and contempt that’s so…healthy.

---

Mike’s office.

---

Wow.

---

Big cold lobby. Corporate America! 

---

Hundreds of people and they all look busy.

---

Gray flannel execs.

---

## EXEC [MICHAEL]:
Tell the West Coast we need to liaise with corporate…

---

## JON:
Peacock-faced secretaries.

---

## SECRETARY [SUSAN]:
I’m sorry, he’s in a meeting and can’t possibly be reached.

---

## JON:
Temps in wrinkled khakis.

---

## TEMP [MICHAEL]:
Uh, I think the fax machine is jammed.

---

## JON:
And my favorite—the perfect women—the hard-driving, high-cheeked power haircut girls who cruise the avenues like sleek silver bullets.

---

## JUDY [SUSAN]:
Jonathan? Hi! Judy Wright.

---

Michael’s told me all about you.

---

Come with me, I’ll be leading the session.

Help yourself to coffee…

---

## JON:
Tick… tick… tick…

---

## JUDY:
We are so glad you’ve come in! We love “creative” people.

---

It’s what we’re all about!

---

## JON:
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

---

Conference room.

Faux-wood-grain table.

---

Aqua Naugahyde chairs.

---

## JUDY:
Everybody, this is Jonathan. He’s going to help us out today.

---

He writes musicals.

---

You know, like Andrew Lloyd Weber.

---

Okay, let’s get started! Today we’re embarking on a major endeavor.

---

We’re developing a name for a breakthrough new product.

---

A chemical to be used in cooking as a fat replacement! It’s tasteless, has no calories, no fat, no cholesterol.

---

In fact, it can’t be absorbed into your digestive tract.

---

This is going to give Americans a whole new kind of freedom in the way they live and snack, and we need a name that will capture all of the—

Yes?

---

## JON:
What about “Nutrafat”?

---

## JUDY:
Jon, at this point in time we’re really just idea-generating, okay? 

---

We’re brainstorming, free-associating… It’s a creative-process unlocking session.

---

We’re not at the naming phase yet.

---

Okay: concepts, people?

---

## KEYBOARD:
Health.

---

## MARKET RESEARCH GUY:
Goodness.

---

## BASS:
Freedom.

---

## GUITAR:
Dawn.

---

## KEYBOARD:
New Dawn.

---

## JUDY:
Hello!

Free-Dawn.

---

## KEYBOARD:
She’s good.

---

## JON:
Hope.

---

## MARKET RESEARCH GUY:
Hm?

---

## JON:
Hope.

---

## MARKET RESEARCH GUY:
Dignity.

---

## DRUMS:
Freedom.

---

## BASS:
I said that already.

---

America.

---

## GUITAR:
Destiny.

---

## KEYBOARD:
Manifest Destiny.

---

## JUDY:
Inalienable rights.

---

## JON:
The right to be skinny.

---

## MARKET RESEARCH GUY:
The bill of rights.

---

## JON:
What’s your problem?

---

## DRUMS:
The Founding Fathers.

---

## BASS:
The Pilgrims. 

---

## GUITAR:
The first Thanksgiving.

---

## KEYBOARD:
Family.

---

## JUDY:
Love.

---

## MARKET RESEARCH GUY:
Sex.

---

## DRUMS:
Pleasure.

---

## BASS:
Desire.

---

## GUITAR:
Lust.

---

## KEYBOARD:
Urge.

---

## JUDY:
Hot.

---

## MARKET RESEARCH GUY :
Touch me.

---

## DRUMS:
Yes.

---

## BASS:
There.

---

## GUITAR:
Touch me again.

---

## KEYBOARD:
Wow!

---

## JUDY:
Yummy!

---

## JON:
Where is this going?

---

## JUDY:
Okay, terrific! Now I want to move to phase two, turning these general concepts into specific “idea avenues” that will create a context for a process that will facilitate the development of a model that will…

---

Yes, Jon.

---

## JON:
I’ve got it.

---

## JUDY:
You’ve got what?

---

## JON:
I’ve got the name for the stuff.

---

## JUDY:
Jon, that’s not where we’re…

---

Oh, all right, what is it?

---

## JON:

“Chubstitute.”

---

Rather than call security, Judy allows me to leave the building under my own power.

---



So much for my market research career.

---

## MICHAEL:
Damn it, Jon, I’m gonna hear about this.

---

## JON:
They told me to be creative.

---

I was creative.

---

## MICHAEL:
Bullshit.

---

You didn’t even try.

---

## JON:
Hey, I tried.

---

## MICHAEL:
Chubstitute?

---

## JON:
Come on. How can you take that stuff seriously?

---

## MICHAEL:
Because they pay me to.

---

Get over in that lane.

---

## JON:
What airline are you?

---

## MICHAEL:
Delta.

---

## JON:
I see it.

---

## MICHAEL:
This wasn’t a joke, you know.

---

I really had to push for you.

---

## JON:
I didn’t belong there, Mike.

---

## MICHAEL:
Maybe not.

---

But…Jon, for me this is it.

---

It’s not some show I can rewrite, or throw away if it’s not working.

---

It’s real life.

---

## JON:
Do you ever miss acting?

---

## MICHAEL:
I don’t miss starving.

---

## JON:
But you were really good.

---

## MICHAEL:
Not good enough.

---

Right here is fine.

---

## JON:
Mike.

---

You all right?

---

## MICHAEL:
Yeah.

---

## JON:
You sure? You haven’t had more than a couple of days at home for weeks.

---

## MICHAEL:
They get me the best hotels.

---

I’m not complaining.

---

## JON:
I know. But you’ve really been going all-out lately.

---

## MICHAEL:
I like it.

---

Keeps me distracted.

---

## JON:
From what?

---

## MICHAEL:
Nothing.

---



I just—sometimes I wonder.

---

The life you said Susan wants. It doesn’t sound so bad.

---

Some peace, you know? Love.

---

A family… if the chance for those things is there, maybe you should grab it.

---

## JON:
Yeah?

---

## MICHAEL:
Sometimes I wish I could.

---



SUNLIGHT 
THROUGH THE WINDOW
ACROSS FROM YOUR BED

---

BEAUTY IS STILL
CAN YOU SEE IT?
WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT?

---

IS THIS REAL LIFE?
IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

HEARTBEATS
OF YOUR CHILDREN
ASLEEP IN THE NEXT ROOM

---

TRUST SO STILL
CAN YOU HEAR IT?
WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT?

---

## MICHAEL:
IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

## JON:
REAL LIFE

---

## MICHAEL:
IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

## JON:
IS THIS REAL, IS THIS
REAL LIFE?

---

## MICHAEL:
WHY DO WE SEEK OUT ECSTASY

---

## MICHAEL & JON:
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
WHY IS IT HARD TO SEE
THAT HEAVEN CAN HAVE SIMPLER FACES

---

## MICHAEL:
WARM BREATH
OF AN ANGEL

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AWAKE NEXT TO YOU
LOVE’S SO STILL
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

---

## MICHAEL:
IS THIS REAL LIFE?
IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

IS THIS REAL LIFE?
IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

I gotta go.

---

## JON:
Have a safe trip, okay?

---

## MICHAEL:
I’ll see you in a couple of days.

---

Don’t wreck the car.

---

## JON:
Tick… tick… tick.

---

It takes me one and a half hours to get back to Manhattan and park the Beemer.

---

I’ve got to go straight to a Superbia rehearsal.

---

We’re just running through the musical numbers in preparation for the workshop.

---

I need something fast.

---

All that driving.

---

All that talk about fat substitutes.

---

On 9th Avenue I duck into a nondescript storefront.

---

Only one thing can cure me now.

---

SHE COULD BE A SUCKER,
SHE COULD BE A CLOWN
ALWAYS GETS TWISTED 
GOIN’ AROUND AND AROUND

---

SHE DON’T CARE—WHAT I LOOK LIKE
OR HOW I DRESS
THERE’S NO NEED 
TO IMPRESS

---

OH—OH—OH, SUGAR, 
SHE’S REFINED.

---


FOR A SMALL PRICE SHE BLOWS MY MIND.

---


SUGAR—SHE’S GOT THE POWER
SOOTHES MY SOUL FOR HALF AN HOUR, 
HALF AN HOUR—HALF AN HOUR—HALF AN HOUR

---

I grew up on Tony the Tiger and Cap’n Crunch, but unlike other Boomer Juniors haven’t progressed to more socially accepted fixes, like Ben and Jerry’s.

---

I go for the original high-powered numb-busting goodness of the Hostess Twinkie snack cake.

---

The only problem is, it’s humiliating to buy a Twinkie.

---

I walk up to the counter feeling like I’m seventeen and buying condoms for the first time.

---

## COUNTER GUY [MICHAEL]:
Yeah?

---

## JON:
Hi, yeah, I’ll just take these, uh, double-A batteries, and a pack of the Bic pens, and uh, a Wall Street Journal, and a Mademoiselle…

---

## COUNTER GUY:
And four packages of Twinkies.

---

## JON:
Right.

---

## KARESSA [SUSAN]:
Jon?

---

## JON:
Oh my God.

---

## KARESSA:
Jon, hi!

---

## JON:
It’s Karessa Johnson! She’s in the show.

---

She’s incredibly hot.

---

That’s not why I cast her; that would be wrong.

---

She is talented and she’s got a great voice, but let’s face it, I’ve fantasized about her more than once. 

---

And now here she is in line behind me and she’s buying an Evian water and a package of rice cakes.

---

## KARESSA:
How’s it going?

---

## JON:
Great! You?

---

## KARESSA:
Great! I am so excited about the show, it is going to be so good, you are so gifted.

---

I’ve been telling everyone…

---

## JON:
Really?

---

## KARESSA:
It has been so great working with you, I just think it’s so incredible, you’re so young but you’re such a mature talent—

---

## COUNTER GUY:
You want me to bag these or you want to eat them here?

---

## JON:
Bag, please.

---

## KARESSA:
Nothing.

---

They’re snack cakes.

---

They’re not unlike rice cakes, only cylindrical and injected with cream.

---

## KARESSA:
Twinkies! Oh my God.

---

I love them!

---

## JON:
You do?

---

## KARESSA:
SHE’S MY HONEY
SHE’S MY TART
I’M HER CREAM PUFF
SHE’S MY SWEETHEART

---

## JON:
KNOCKS ME OUT, 
STRIPS ME BARE—

---

## ALL:
SUGAR—SUGAR—SUGAR

---

## JON:
I WON’T CARE.

---

## COUNTER GUY:
LATE AT NIGHT

---

## COUNTER GUY & KARISSA:
WHEN I’M SAD AND LONELY

---

## ALL:
ONE THING ONLY
CURES MY BLUES.

---

## JON & COUNTER GUY:
STRESSED OUT

---

## KARESSA:
BURNED OUT

---

## ALL:
HANGIN’ BY A STRING
SUGAR—SUGAR—SUGAR, 
I WON’T FEEL A THING

---

SUGAR SO SWEET

---

## JON:
ONLY THING I KNOW IS
THAT SHE MAKES MY 
LIFE SUCH A MESS

---

SUGAR OH YEAH
SUGAR OH YEAH

---

## ALL:
SUGAR, OH YEAH—SUGAR OH YEAH

---

S-U-G-A-R

---

## JON:
Rehearsal goes well.

---

I think we’re going to be ready for the performance on Thursday.

---

I’m so excited I can barely sit still.

---

Maybe this is it.

---

Maybe I really have written the show that will reinvent musicals for our generation--

---

—the Hair of the ‘90s—the cultural lightning rod that will energize the twenty-something generation... 

---

We “slackers,” raised on The Brady Brunch and Reaganomics, armed with nothing but credit cards, VCRs, and Interview magazine... 

---

Blowing like tumbleweeds through the ‘90s, fighting off the savage arrows of apathy, illiteracy, innumeracy... 

---

Exploding Visa bills, eating disorders, sexually transmitted diseases, political correctness…

---

## KARESSA:
Oh my God, that is all so true!

---

## JON:
Karessa’s actually listening to my wired babbling.

---

She walked me home.

---

She’s really nice.

---

When I get upstairs Susan’s waiting for me.

---

## SUSAN:
Who were you walking home with?

---

## JON:
What?

---

## SUSAN:
I saw you from the window.

---

## JON:
She’s in Superbia.

---

We were discussing the show.

---

## SUSAN:
You kissed her.

---

## JON:
On the cheek.

---

She’s in the show! It’s a cast thing.

---

## SUSAN:
Look, I don’t care about that. I…

---

## JON:
Susan’s holding a Medium Brown Bag.

---

She’s packing.

---

I see a sweater, some underwear, her extra contact lens stuff. Her “things.”

---

What’s going on?

---

## SUSAN:
I got a job.

---

## JON:
That’s great!

---

## SUSAN:
Teaching.

---

Real dancers this time.

---

With a company in Northampton.

---

I’ll be gone a couple of weeks.

---

## JON:
Well, if it’s just a couple of weeks…

---

## SUSAN:
Or a month.

---

And…it might lead to something else up there.

---

## JON:
Something else…permanently?

---

## SUSAN:
Maybe.

---

Jon, don’t look so surprised.

---

It’s not like we’re getting anywhere.

---

## JON:
What do you mean?

---

## SUSAN:
I can feel us slipping apart.

---

## JON:
Look, I know you’d like to leave New York.

---

I know you want to make a change. So do I.

---

And after my birthday, after the workshop—

---

## SUSAN:
I wish everything didn’t depend on what happens at the workshop.

---

What if it doesn’t go exactly the way you want? What if you turn thirty and nothing’s changed? 

---

I’m worried you’re setting yourself up for a big disappointment.

---

## JON:
Maybe you’re right.

---

Maybe you’re right.

---

I don’t know…

---

## SUSAN:
I don’t want to be disappointed either. It’s not—

---

## JON:
ITS NOT YOU, SHE SAYS
IT’S JUST THAT LIFE’S SO HARD

---

WE ALL GET BLUE, I SAY
HANG ON TIGHT—I’LL BE YOUR BODYGUARD

---

SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART
SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART
SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART

---

OH—I JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE

---

IT’S SUCH A DRAG, SHE SAYS
WHEN THE WORLD’S SO MEAN
IT’S JUST A RED FLAG—I SAY
GOTTA LOOK FOR THE GREEN

---

OH OH OH
SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART
SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART
SOMETHING’S BREAKING MY BABY’S HEART

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
OH

---

## JON:
I JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE

---

## SUSAN:
I’m not leaving til next week.

---

I’ll see you at your party, okay?

---

## JON:
Hold on.

---

Look, we’re both tired.

---

I’ve been impossible.

---

I’m sorry.

---

I’ve been hysterical…

---

## SUSAN:
It’s not just you.

---

I know I’ve been demanding…

---

## JON:
Stay here? We don’t have to solve everything tonight.

---

We’ll order some dinner, go to bed early, just be together.

---

Okay?

---

## SUSAN:
No.

---

I want to go home.

---

## JON:
Stay.

---

It’s late.

---

It’s a long way.

---

Two subways and a bus…

---

## SUSAN:
I’ll take a cab.

---

## JON:
CYNICAL TOWN 
CAN BE TOUGH ON AN ANGEL

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
CLIP HER WINGS, BABY
ONE TWO THREE

---

## JON:
I’M HER CLOWN CAUSE

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
A LAUGHING ANGEL’S 
RICHER THAN KINGS,

---

## JON:
OH, BABY—DON’T YOU SEE?
BABY—DON’T YOU AGREE?

---

WISH I KNEW WHY, SHE SAYS
BUT ON A SUNNY DAY I FIND THE RAIN

---

## JON & MICHAEL:
LET’S GIVE IT A TRY, I SAY
WE CAN DANCE RIGHT THROUGH THE PAIN

---

## JON:
SOMETHING’S BREAKING
MY BABY’S HEART

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
OO—IS THIS REAL LIFE?

---

## JON:
SOMETHING’S BREAKING
MY BABY’S HEART

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
IS THIS REAL, IS THIS

---

## JON:
SOMETHING’S BREAKING
MY BABY’S HEART

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
REAL LIFE?

---

## ALL:
OH OH OH OH OH

---

## JON:
I JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE

---

JUST WANT TO SEE HER SMILE
JUST WANT TO SEE HER 
JUST WANT TO SEE HER…

---

## SUSAN:
Don’t worry about the workshop.

---

I know it will be wonderful.

---

## JON:
Hey, Susan, don’t go.

---

Look, I’m sorry—

…SMILE.

---

She’s gone.

---

The workshop.

---

The show’s about to start.

---

The room is totally empty.

---

The show’s about to start and I’m staring at six empty folding chairs.

---

No one’s here.

---

NO ONE HAS FUCKING SHOWED UP! Not Susan, not Michael, not even Rosa fucking Stevens!

---

## KARESSA:
Jon.

---

## JON:
Karessa! Hey!

---

## KARESSA:
Hey, boy genius.

---

## JON:
Where the fuck is everyone?

---

## KARESSA:
We don’t start for over an hour, Jon.

---

The house isn’t open yet.

---

Relax.

---

## JON:
She kisses me.

---

## KARESSA:
It’s going to be great.

---

## JON:
The next fifty-five minutes are a blur.

---

Michael comes in first.

---

## MICHAEL:
Hey, buddy.

---

## JON:
Mike! Thank God.

---

## MICHAEL:
Where should I sit?

---

## JON:
Anywhere.

---

Thank you so much for coming.

---

## MICHAEL:
Are you kidding? Wild horses, Jon.

---

## JON:
There’s an elegant older lady with a cigarette holder.

---

She looks familiar.

---

## ROSA:
Hello, darling.

---

## JON:
Rosa Stevens! It’s been so long since I’ve actually had personal contact with my agent I didn’t recognize her.

---

## ROSA:
It’s going to go marvelously, don’t you worry.

---

## JON:
To my surprise, she hugs me.

---

## ROSA:
You’re perspiring a bit heavily, dear.

---

Before they start you might want to go and towel off.

---

## JON:
She glides away, I wipe my face…

---

## DAD:
HEL-lo.

---

## JON:
Hi, Dad.

---

## DAD:
Pretty good crowd.

---

## JON:
Not bad, right?

---

## DAD:
Are they paying?

---

## JON:
Not technically, no.

---

## DAD:
Next time.

---

I’m proud of you.

---

Write if you get work.

---

## JON:
Hang by your thumbs.

---


Suddenly the room is full of friends and the interesting people Rosa promised. 

---

And the band is tuning up, and just before the lights go down there is a stir and a latecomer darts for his seat—

---

Is it? It’s—YES! IT’S HIM!! He’s HERE!! My guru of the musical theater, the most interesting person of all.

---



[Whispers: Stephen Sondheim.]

---

And my fear…my fear gathers itself into a ball in my stomach and rises, pulsing, into my throat; 

---

it moves on into my skull, where it takes up residence, hissing and shuddering…

---

and then, miraculously, it keeps going: floating up, higher, out of my head entirely, dissolving into the air as it leaves my body—

---

And what remains behind is pure excitement and hope.

---

Hi, I’m Jon.

---

Thanks for coming.

---

Today you’re gonna see a new musical called Superbia…written by me… Thank you… 

---

I don’t really have anything to say except thanks for coming, and I already said that…

---

So now I’d better just get the hell off so these people can do their work. Enjoy the show…

---

The band plays part of the Superbia overture. And after that it’s a blur again…

---


At least until Karissa begins her solo.

---

## KARESSA:
YOU’RE ON THE AIR
I’M UNDERGROUND
SIGNAL’S FADING 
CAN’T BE FOUND

---

I FINALLY OPEN UP
FOR YOU I WOULD DO ANYTHING
BUT YOU’VE TURNED OFF THE VOLUME
JUST WHEN I’VE BEGUN TO SING

---

COME TO YOUR SENSES
DEFENSES ARE NOT THE WAY TO GO
AND YOU KNOW
OR AT LEAST YOU KNEW

---

EVERYTHING’S STRANGE, 
YOU’VE CHANGED AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
TO GET THROUGH
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

---

I HAVE TO LAUGH
WE SURE PUT ON A SHOW
LOVE IS PASSÉ IN THIS DAY AND AGE
HOW CAN WE EXPECT IT TO GROW?

---

YOU AS THE KNIGHT
ME AS THE QUEEN
ALL I’VE GOT TONIGHT
IS STATIC ON A SCREEN

---

COME TO YOUR SENSES
THE FENCES INSIDE ARE NOT FOR REAL
IF WE FEEL AS WE DID AND I DO

---

CAN’T YOU RECALL 
WHEN THIS ALL BEGAN
IT WAS ONLY YOU AND ME
IT WAS ONLY ME AND YOU

---

BUT NOW THE AIR IS FILLED WITH CONFUSION
WE’VE REPLACED CARE WITH ILLUSION

---

IT’S COOL TO BE COLD
NOTHING LASTS ANYMORE
LOVE BECOMES DISPOSABLE
THIS IS THE SHAP OF THINGS
WE CANNOT IGNORE

---

COME TO YOUR SENSES
SUPSENSE IS FINE
IF YOU’RE JUST AN EMPTY IMAGE
EMANATING OUT OF A SCREEN

---

BABY, BE REAL, 
YOU CAN FEEL AGAIN
YOU DON’T NEED A MUSIC BOX MELODY
TO KNOW WHAT I MEAN

---

DEEP IN MY EYES
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
DEEP IN MY SIGHS
LISTEN TO ME

---

LET THE MUSIC COMMENCE FROM INSIDE
NOT ONLY ONE SENSE, BUT USE ALL FIVE

---

COME TO YOUR SENSES
COME TO YOUR SENSES
COME TO YOUR SENSES

---

BABY, COME BACK ALIVE

---

## ROSA:
Jon? It’s Rosa calling.

---

I just wanted to say congratulations.

---

## JON:
Rosa! Thank you so much for calling.

---

## ROSA:
Well, you left eleven messages this morning, dear.

---

## JON:
Oh, right.

---

## ROSA:
I think you should be very proud.

---

Everything went beautifully.

---

## JON:
Really? Thanks! The cast was good, I think, and the audience seemed into it—

---

Did you see Stephen Sondheim?

---

## ROSA:
Stevie? Oh yes, I wanted to chat but he must have snuck out early.

---

But everyone had fun.

---

Congratulations, honey.

---

We’ll talk soon.

---

## JON:
Rosa, uh, wait—Do you think…what do you think will happen? 

---

I mean, does anyone want to move it to the next step, or…I mean, the interesting people, did anybody say anything?

---

## ROSA:
Well, Jon, I think everyone was just so intrigued by your talent, and they can’t wait to see what happens next.

---

## JON:
What happens next.

---

## ROSA:
Yes, be sure to keep me up to date on what you’re working on.

---

## JON:
Nothing? No nibbles? Nothing?

---

## ROSA:
Honey, we always knew it’s a little quirky for Broadway, and the cast is awfully big for Off-. 

---

And the futuristic thing means sets are expensive, and the musical theater is Newark Airport and you’re snowed in at Buffalo—

---

And now, having plucked out your heart and eaten it like a piece of ripe fruit... 

---

I’ll leave you to sweep up the fragments of your shattered dreams, bye-bye, honey! 

---

Oh, and happy birthday!

---

## JON:
I get three other calls from friends in the business and they’re all like that.

---

## MICHAEL:
Jon?

---

## JON:
I go to Michael’s office.

---

I can’t do this, Mike.

---

## MICHAEL:
Uh?

---

## JON:
The theatre, the music.

---

I gave it my shot.

---

I think I’ve given it an honest try, with all the talent and effort I’ve got.

---

And it hasn’t worked.

---

I’m not sorry I tried.

---

I’m proud of it, but now it’s time to take a hard look at my situation and not be egotistical, not delude myself, just admit it’s time to move on.

---

I’ve been stuck.

---

Everyone else, you and Susan, have kept moving.

---

I’m the only one still here banging my head against the wall.

---

My head hurts.

---

I’m going to stop for a while.

---

The thing is, I can always come back to it, if I want, when I’m older, when I’m smarter, when I’ve figured out a little more clearly what it is I want to do.

---

I feel better.

---

Just hearing myself say it, I already feel better.

---

## MICHAEL:
You’re right.

---

I think your heart is telling you something, and I think what you’re saying takes courage.

---

I think it takes courage to let all that stuff go.

---

I’m proud of you.

---

## JON:
You are?

---

## MICHAEL:
No, of course not, you fucking idiot.

---

What is the matter with you?

---

## JON:
I can’t keep doing this! The show—

---

## MICHAEL:
Listen, Jon, the show was very good.

---

You should be proud of it.

---

Everyone loved it.

---

## JON:
My friends loved it.

---

## MICHAEL:
What’s wrong with that?

---

## JON:
No one wants to produce it.

---

## MICHAEL:
It’s a workshop.

---

You’ll keep working, keep developing it.

---

Or you’ll start something else.

---

## JON:
Spend another five years on a show that doesn’t go anywhere? I swear to God I ‘ll explode.

---

By then I’ll be thirty-five—

---

## MICHAEL:
Thirty-five, thirty, who cares? It’s meaningless! Focus on something important! Do your work!

---

## JON:
That’s easy for you to say! You’ve got a job, an apartment, a fucking BMW.

---

## MICHAEL:

Hold on.

---

We both made choices.

---

## JON:
I don’t want to sell out.

---

## MICHAEL:
You mean like me.

---

## Jon:
You said it, I didn’t.

---

## MICHAEL:
If it’s the car and apartment that’s bothering you, I’m sorry.

---

Why shouldn’t I enjoy those things while I have the chance?

---

## JON:
That’s not what I’m—

---

## MICHAEL:
Jon. Listen to me.

---

All of this—this is just your fear talking.

---

You have to take control of it.

---

You have to thank your brain for sharing that fear, then ignore it and go on.

---

Fear is like Newark Airport—

---

## JON:
SCREW NEWARK AIRPORT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FEAR? 

---

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING?

---

## MICHAEL:
I know I’m sick, Jon, and I’m not going to get any better.

---

## JON:
When did you… How long have…?

---

## MICHAEL:
Two weeks.

---

I wanted to tell you earlier, but I couldn’t.

---

Look, if you don’t mind, it’s the middle of the day, and I have a lot of work to do.

---

Close the door when you go, okay?

---

## JON:
In the elevator I think of sleepaway camp.

---

How Michael bribed jim Shanahan with M&M’s to switch bunks so we could whisper in the night.

---



I remember being teenagers, when our families rented houses in Hyannis and we’d walk down the beach, hop the fence, and swim for hours together up and down the shore.

---



I think of our first summer back from college, when we reunite for a join on the Kennedy breakwater, and Mike told me he was gay.

---



The sun is fighting off the January clouds as it sinks behind the park.

---

I run from 53rd and Fifth the East Drive, past the Zoo, the Dairy.

---

A pay phone! I jam in a quarter, dial Mike—his machine picks up—I try again—same thing—goddamn it!—slam the phone down and keep running.

---

I’m running. Past the skaters, past the Carousel, the statue of Shakespeare.

---



The Sheep’s Meadow is empty.

---

I hop the fence and run to the middle of the field.

---

Rain begins falling and I spin myself in circles and stagger around like a wino.

---



The TICK-BOOM, TICK-BOOM is so loud I can’t hear the rain on the grass.

---

I can’t hear the wind.

---



I’m about to scream when I realize I’m not alone.

---

Watching me from the hill in front of me are hundreds of seagulls.

---

I sprint right into them, waving my arms like a castaway on a desert island spotting a rescue plane.

---



They fly up into the air en masse, only to land across the meadow, on another hill.

---

I talk to them.

---

MY FRIEND IS DYING.

---

I’M LOST.

---

I’M AFRAID.

---

I run past the fountain, the waterfall, up through the woods, to the top of the Belevedere Castle.

---

I look down into the empty Delacorte Theatre.

---

I see an old rehearsal piano, sitting out under a tarp, below the trees.

---

I climb down, hop another fence, and pull off the tarp.

---


WHEN I WAS NINE
MICHAEL AND I
ENTERED A TALENT SHOW
DOWN AT THE Y

---

NINE A.M.
WENT TO REHEARSE
BY SOME STAIRS
MIKE COULDN’T SING
BUT I SAID, “NO ONE CARES”

---

WE SANG “YELLOW BIRD”
AND “LET’S GO FLY A KITE”
OVER AND OVER AND OVER
TILL WE GOT IT RIGHT

---

WHEN WE EMERGED
FROM THE YMCA
THREE O’CLOCK SUN
HAD MADE THE GRASS HAY

---

I THOUGHT
HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY
HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY

---

I MAKE A VOW—RIGHT HERE AND NOW
I’M GONNA SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY

---

WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN
MICHAEL AND I 
GOT PARTS IN WEST SIDE
AT WHITE PLANES HIGH

---

THREE O’CLOCK, WENT TO REHEARSE
IN THE GYM
MIKE PLAYED “DOC”—WHO DIDN’T SING—
FINE WITH HIM

---

WE SANG “GOT A ROCKET IN YOUR POCKET”
AND “THE JETS ARE GONNA HAVE THEIR DAY—TONIGHT”
OVER AND OVER AND OVER
TILL WE GOT IT RIGHT

---

WHEN WE EMERGED—
WIPED OUT BY THE PLAY
NINE O’CLOCK STARS
AND MOON LIT THE WAY

---

I THOUGHT
HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY
HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY

---

I MADE A VOW—I WONDER NOW
AM I CUT OUT TO SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY?

---

WITH ONLY SO MUCH TIME TO SPEND
DON’T WANT TO WASTE THE TIME I’M GIVEN

---

“HAVE IT ALL—PLAY THE GAME” SOME RECOMMEND
I’M AFRAID IT JUST MAY BE TIME TO GIVE IN

---

I’M TWENTY-NINE
MICHAEL AND I 
LIVE ON THE WEST SIDE 
OF SOHO, N.Y.

---

NINE A.M.
I WRITE A LYRIC OR TWO
MIKE SINGS HIS SONG
NOW ON MAD AVENUE

---

I SING, “COME TO YOUR SENSES
DEFENSES ARE NOT THE WAY TO GO”
OVER AND OVER AND OVER
TILL I GET IT RIGHT

---

WHEN I EMERGE
FROM B MINOR OR A
FIVE O’CLOCK—DINER CALLS, 
“I’M ON MY WAY”

---

I THINK
HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY
HEY—WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE DAY

---

I MAKE A VOW—RIGHT HERE AND NOW

---

I’M GONNA SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY
I’M GONNA SPEND MY TIME THIS WAY

---

Saturday night.

---

It’s my thirtieth birthday.

---

Thirty. Three-O.

---

Hey, it’s no big deal.

---

Just three decades. What’s thirty?

---

DON’T FREAK OUT—DON’T STRIKE OUT
CAN’T FIGHT IT—LIKE CITY HALL
AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT ALONE
YOUR FRIENDS ARE THERE TOO—

---

The apartment is warm and noisy.

---

I realize I don’t want to escape to the roof, or fly to Cuba, or hide in the bathroom.

---

I grab a beer and wade into the crowd.

---



INTO MY HANDS NOW—THE BALL IS PASSED
I WANT THE SPOILS—BUT NOT TOO FAST
THE WORLD IS CALLING—IT’S NOW OR NEVERLAND

---

THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY
THIRTY NINETY THIRTY NINETY…

---

I open gifts. Mostly gag stuff.

---

Three Gumbys, two Silly Puttys, and a TV Themes CD.

---

Susan’s here.

---

I don’t know what to say. 
She doesn’t either.

---

When are you leaving?

---

## SUSAN:
Tomorrow.

---

## JON:
I’ll really miss you.

---

## SUSAN:
I’ll miss you too.

---

## JON:
Will you write?

---

## SUSAN:
I will if you will.

---

## JON:
She hands me a large book. I open it.

---

Blank music manuscript paper.

---

A thousand sheets.

---

Thank you.

---

## SUSAN:
Happy birthday, Jon.

---

Don’t forget to breathe.

---

## JON:
She disappears into the crowd and suddenly Michael’s beside me.

---

He tosses me a box.

---

I open it.

---

Three belts.

---

Gucci?

---

## MICHAEL:
Not Gucci.

---

You’re not a Gucci guy.

---

But it’s life-affirming to own multiple accessories, and I want you to experience that.

---

## JON:
Thanks, Mike.

---

## MICHAEL:
Sure thing. Happy birthday, buddy.

---

## JON:
I’m sorry about yesterday.

---

I wish I had known.

---

I don’t know what to say.

---

I’ll be there.

---

I promise.

---

## MICHAEL:
I know you will.

---

[Phone rings.]

---

## JON:
I let the machine pick up.

---


## SONDHEIM:
Jon? Steve Sondheim.

---

Rosa gave me your number.

---

Sorry we couldn’t talk after the show. I had to rush out.


---

Just wanted to say terrific work. Really.

---

I’d love to get together and talk about it.

---

Give me a call—and congratulations.

---

You’re going to have a great future.

---

[Beep.]

---

## JON:
What do you know?

---

The dreaded moment arrives.

---

I’m escorted by a gaggle of smiling faces into the next room.

---

People whisper. The lights are turned off.

---

The darkness is pierced by a blinding glow.

---

They lead me over to the piano to play.

---

The tick-tick-booms are softer now. I can barely hear them.

---

And I think if I play loud enough, I can drown them out completely.

---

WHY DO WE PLAY WITH FIRE?
WHY DO WE RUN OUR FINGER THROUGH THE FLAME?

---

WHY DO WE LEAVE OUR HAND ON THE STOVE—
ALTHOUGH WE KNOW WE’RE IN FOR SOME PAIN?

---

OH, WHY DO WE REFUSE TO HANG A LIGHT
WHEN THE STREETS ARE DANGEROUS?

---

WHY DOES IT TAKE AN ACCIDENT
BEFORE THE TRUTH GETS THROUGH TO US?

---

CAGES OR WINGS?
WHICH DO YOU PREFER?
ASK THE BIRDS

---

FEAR OR LOVE, BABY?
DON’T SAY THE ANSWER
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

---

## MICHAEL:
WHY SHOULD WE TRY TO BE OUR BEST
WHEN WE CAN JUST GET BY AND STILL GAIN?
WHY DO WE NOD OUR HEDS

---

## MICHAEL & JON:
ALTHOUGH WE KNOW

---

## MICHAEL:
THE BOSS IS WRONG AS RAIN?

---

## JON:
WHY SHOULD WE BLAZE A TRAIL
WHEN THE WELL-WORN PATH SEEMS SAFE AND 

---

## JON & SUSAN:
SO INVITING

---

## SUSAN:
HOW—AS WE TRAVEL CAN WE

---

## SUSAN & JON:
SEE THE DISMAY—
AND KEEP FROM FIGHTING

---

## JON:
CAGES OR WINGS?

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
CAGES OR WINGS

---

## JON:
WHICH DO YOU PREFER?
ASK THE BIRDS

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

---

## ALL:
FEAR OR LOVE, BABY?
DON’T’ SAY THE ANSWER

---

## JON:
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER 
THAN WORDS

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN

---

## JON:
WHAT DOES IT TAKE—
TO WAKE UP A GENERATION

---

## ALL:
HOW CAN YOU MAKE SOMEONE 
TAKE OFF AND FLY

---

## JON:
IF WE DON’T WAKE UP
AND SHAKE UP THE NATION

---

WE’LL EAT THE DUST OF 
THE WORLD, 
WONDERING WHY

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
WHY

---

## SUSAN:
WHY DO WE STAY WITH LOVERS

---

## SUSAN & JON:
WHO WE KNOW, DOWN DEEP

---

## SUSAN:
JUST AREN’T RIGHT?

---

## JON:
WHY WOULD WE RATHER

---

## ALL:
PUT OURSELVES THROUGH HELL
THAN SLEEP ALONE AT NIGHT

---

## JON:
WHY DO WE FOLLOW LEADERS WHO NEVER LEAD?

---

## MICHAEL:
WHY DOES IT TAKE CATASTROPHE TO START A REVOLUTION

---

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
IF WE’RE SO FREE, TELL ME WHY?

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## JON:
SOMEONE TELL ME WHY
SO MANY PEOPLE BLEED?

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## JON:
CAGES OR WINGS

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## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
CAGES OR WINGS

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## JON:
WHICH DO YOU PREFER?
ASK THE BIRDS

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## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

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## ALL:
FEAR OR LOVE, BABY?
DON’T SAY THE ANSWER

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## JON:
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN

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## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN
LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN

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## ALL:
CAGES OR WINGS?
WHICH DO YOU PREFER?

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## JON:
ASK THE BIRDS

## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
AH…

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## ALL:
FEAR OR LOVE, BABY?
DON’T SAY THE ANSWER

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## JON:
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN

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## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
LOUDER THAN, LOUDER
THAN, OOH

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## JON:
THEY SPEAKER LOUDER 

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## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
LOUDER THAN, LOUDER THAN

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## JON:
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER 
THAN…

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## MICHAEL & SUSAN:
WORDS

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[The music of “Happy Birthday” plays.]

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