# Reading Responses (Set 2)

- Checklist for a [good reading response](https://reagle.org/joseph/zwiki/Teaching/Best_Practices/Learning/Writing_Responses.html) of 250-350 words
- [ ] Mention specific ideas, details, and examples from the text and earlier classes.
- [ ] Offer something novel that you can offer towards class participation.
- [ ] Begin with a punchy start.
- [ ] Send to professor with "cda-r" in the subject, with URL and markdown.

## Reading responses 5 out of 5

### Nov 06 Tue - Dating

In the age of Tinder and Match.com, love has a certain stigma. People are divided into groups: those looking for a relationship and those looking to hook up. These have become mutually exclusive. If you're looking for love, you can't hook up with people. Are these two things exclusive though? And can we really trust what people say they're looking for? According to OkCupid ([2010](https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2)), people lie about their height in order to get more matches; statistically, people are two inches shorter then they say they are. There are few cons to lying on the internet. Supposedly, people would react poorly if they find out a person they matched with lied but realistically, with a higher number of matches, there is a higher chance to find someone that isn't bothered by the lie. For most people, lying in an online profile is a way of "optimizing" for numbers. Is this different from what Chris McKinlay did? McKinlay optimized his online profile by gathering data using bots and optimizing profiles for specific categories of women ([Poulsen, 2014](https://www.wired.com/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/)). He didn't lie per se, but he did answer biasedly. However, McKinlay's story is different from most. He was coming at it like a mathematician. People who lie are doing it based on assumptions. This has created a culture of distrust that has changed the dating landscape.

I think online dating is inherently good: it brings people together. However, when people abuse it (lie in their profile, create fake profiles, etc.) it diminishes the purpose. I think that there is a fine line between an optimized profile and a lie. Online dating has changed the dating landscape and for better or worse, it's here to stay. I am curious how it continues to evolve and adapt to a changing world.

### Nov 09 Fri - Breakup

Social media allows people to hide from their problems and not face them head-on. In dating, it gives people a platform to confront the situation and not necessarily the other person. This can be difficult for people, especially when their partner doesn't confront them directly. With phones, it's easy to call or text instead of talking in person. The data presented by the [Pew Research Center](http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/10/01/after-the-relationship-technology-and-breakups/) interested me. They found that teens thought that breaking up in person was the most acceptable method (not surprising), but the population was split with breaking up of the phone. Nearly a third said that it was the most acceptable method. This is interesting as I would have expected the number to be lower. As the method gets less personal, however, the less acceptable it is. Changing your social media status was the least acceptable method of breaking up. The reasons for the less popular methods were also interesting: "fear, immaturity, and self-preservation" (2015). Teens who employ the less popular methods do so because they don't like facing the problem head-on. This can be seen in older people as well. Some people who are heartbroken post song lyrics in order to indirectly express themselves. After Mary Anne broke up with her boyfriend, he posted sad song lyrics on his wall for two months (Gershon, 2012). Whenever he did, Anne's friends would ask her if she saw it (which was probably his intention). In doing this, he could convey his feelings to Anne without confronting her directly.

I remember hearing stories about Facebook breakups in middle school. Even then, it was frowned up to break up with someone over text or Facebook. I recall, however, that Facebook was much worse than text. I had a problem with this because I didn't have a phone and used Facebook to communicate with people. It was equal to text for me. However, the "in person" method was, in my opinion as well as the majority's, the best method. I don't think that the attitude towards breaking up over text has changed, I just think that it is more prevalent. Because there is somewhat of a "hook up" culture with the plethora of online dating sites, it is less common to have the relationship talk. People are worried that they want something that the other person doesn't want. This leads to things being more casual and therefore, more breakups over text. I believe this to be caused by people's attitudes toward the relationship. If someone thinks the relationship is casual, they may "break up" over text because it is not a true "break up". It is important to talk to one's partner and give people respect by confronting them directly. I am curious as to how this will change over the next generation or so as people start getting phones at younger ages.

### Nov 27 Tue - Shaped

Some people claim that Facebook causes depression. While this claim is not accurate, there is a correlation between Facebook usage and depression ([Chowdry, 2016](https://www.forbes.com/sites/amitchowdhry/2016/04/30/study-links-heavy-facebook-and-social-media-usage-to-depression/#10768ee54b53)). However, it is true that social media shapes how we perceive ourselves. Social media forces us to focus on ourselves and pressures us to allows show ourselves as perfect. This causes people to overthink their social media presence. Some Instagram users create multiple accounts, a main account and a "finsta", or fake Instagram. They censer who follows their finsta, posting embarrassing stories or ranting about trivial problems. On the main account, they only post happy or artsy photos. Obsession with social media can lead to some concerning behavior. Reagle mentions that we have found a way to spend time with others without being present" (2015). This dynamic leads to inattention to each other and can be harmful to our relationships.

When I was in high school, Snapchat streaks were very popular. People would send a picture of nothing with a single word of text: "Streak". I compared the number of streaks I had to my friend and tried to get more streaks then him. I grew to believe that he was more likable than me because he had more streaks. Looking back, that behavior was pointless. I gained nothing from having a streak with a large number of people. I should have focused less on the number and focused more on the quality of my friendships. I think if people use social media as a way to enhance friendships instead of self-obsessing, they will get much more joy out of it.

### Nov 30 Fri - Collapsed context

Maintaining only one persona online is difficult. There are so many platforms where people's identities can be public or hidden, where they can be the creator or viewer. Even if a creator is on multiple platforms, they most likely have a different group of fans. Even if there is a crossover (and the content is similar), the person's behavior may be tailored to the platform. When Marwick and boyd interviewed minor celebrities on Twitter, most claimed to think little of their audience ([2010](http://www.tiara.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Marwick_boyd_TweetHonestly.pdf)). This would indicate that their posts were authentic and not tailored to their audience. Authenticity online is difficult to maintain. If followers stop responding or even unsubscribe, it can be difficult to keep content authentic. boyd and Marwick mention this in their study: "For Twitter users trying to build audience, personal authenticity and audience expectations must be balanced" ([2010](http://www.tiara.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Marwick_boyd_TweetHonestly.pdf)). This translates to all content creators. An audience wants content that is in the author's style but they also have expectations for the author. It can be difficult for creators to maintain this balance.

Staying authentic online is difficult in the context of social media. If you post something on social media, you are most likely doing so in order to get a specific reaction. This means that you are allowing your audience to influence what you post. I think that there isn't anything wrong with tailoring your content to your audience. However, there is such a thing as going too far. Listening to someone (e.g. a sponsor) who gives to money to make a specific type of content is selling out and is viewed poorly. I wonder about the future of social media and am anticipating the next big thing.

### Dec 04 Tue - Pushback

Online communication can be a horrible thing. It can cause people to [delete accounts](https://www.vox.com/culture/2018/6/5/17429196/kelly-marie-tran-instagram-deleted-harassment-star-wars-rose-last-jedi). However, it can also allow a space for people to express themselves and find people with similar interests. When people post something, comments have a big effect on the atmosphere of the post. Reagle quotes a CNN study that found "that commenters who were down-voted subsequently posted more and lower-quality comments" (2015). This cyclical behavior can be detrimental to an online space. Moderation can be a solution, but it doesn't always work. Another solution would be to get away from digital communication. Gomez and Morrison found that most people adapt their behavior in an effort to reduce dissatisfaction with online communication (2014). They noted that the most frequent motivations for a change in behavior were emotional dissatisfaction or lack of control.

I found Gomez and Morrison's findings interesting. I stopped using Facebook because I got nothing out of it (emotional dissatisfaction) and as I mentioned in my last response, I started limiting my Snapchat usage because it was taking too much of my time. While I don't think it is possible (or necessary) to opt out of online communication, I think it is important to limit the use of it. Obsessing over social media or getting into long, unending fights with strangers over whether pineapple deserves to go on pizza is never worth it. Limiting online usage also makes us more appreciative of the time we do spend online and hopefully, makes us nicer.