---
# System prepended metadata

title: 20 - Goodbye
tags: [2Book]

---

# Part 1

Rebecca entered the cafeteria with Shepherd already frustrated. Shepherd had made the "executive decision" to take off her armour in the shuttle, and was now wearing a thin tank-top and tight pants. She's in a cafeteria with about seven officers, besides Garrus they were all unfamiliar faces. A human woman in pink armour was glaring at her with a stern expression. Shepherd notices the woman's gaze and gestures towards her.

"Commander, what's *she* doing here?" Ashley asks, standing up from her seat. "You can't seriously be considering bringing her aboard. She's some Red Sand dealer from the citadel! A *well known* serial killer, drug dealer, and *worse.* For god's sake, the woman is a *cannibal.*"

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Fuck *off*, I don't even want to be here."

Shepherd raises a hand, trying to calm the situation. "I'm aware of Rebecca's history, Williams. But right now, she's a guest. Stand down."

"What *possible* use could some street filth be?" Ashley scoffs, shaking her head. "She's a criminal and a traitor to her own kind. Who knows what she might do?"

Rebecca rolls her eyes, already tired of Ashley's attitude. "Oh, I almost fucking forgot the human supremacist shit all over the ship. Thanks for reminding me why I can't *stand* humanity."

"You're a fucking disgrace," Ashley bristled, taking a step forward. "Y—"

Shepherd raises a hand, snapping at her immediately. "***Stand down, Williams!*** You're dismissed."

Ashley hesitates for a moment before nodding stiffly. "Yes, ma'am." Then stormed off shoulder checking Dinozzo hard.

Rebecca snapped at her and said, "Touch me again and I'll mag dump your fucking skull." Then shook her head to get some fucking food.

The cafeteria is nice. They make fresh food here. It's not Lisyris's cooking, but it's the best *chow* Rebecca has had since that one time on that aircraft carrier, the USS Geraldine or something. 

"So, how's Omega this time of year? Weathers good, I hope?" Shepherd starts spouting *inane* nonsense as she waits for Rebecca to catch up with her.

"I was under the impression I was getting like. Dropped off, Commander." Rebecca says with gritted teeth. "Why am I on the SR-2?"

"We got a beam from Aria that said, eahem." The Commander clears her throat, proceeding to mimic Aria *terrifyingly well,* "'Get your ship off my station, *Shepherd.'*"

"That *very much doesn't answer my question, **Shepherd.***" Rebecca said with gritted teeth as food is poured into a tray for her, and they both sit down. "You just blasted off into fucking space, with me on the goddamn shuttle!"

"And then!" Shepherd continues, "I got a warning from EDI. Our shuttle had a teensy tiny fuel leak. We would have been stuck on Omega without repairs. So unless you want us to airdrop you out of the Mako, it'll be a minute."

"Oh, wait, is that an option?" Rebecca asks, not really questioning it, "Like a HALO in the thing right?"

Shepherd's eyes widen as she grins, "Ye—" Then seven officers, from a variety of races including three humans, shout in unison, "NO!"

Rebecca couldn't help but snort. *Ras. Ugh. I miss you.*

It's not unnoticed by Shepherd, who is now speaking with a cool, reserved tone, slinking back to the familiar voice of a *real* commanding officer, the sort Rebecca only saw now and then. She lead with a compliment, "We just need to talk. See what you know. You're skilled, lethal, effective and intimidating." Then she shrugs, "It'll be about three hours before I get you planetside." 

Rebecca's cyber ears can pick up muttering from the other officers. Garrus was talking to some chick with black hair. "This is a mistake. She's a liability. Why I didn't work with her."

Rebecca's skin crawled at the sound. *Fucking military. Fucking marines. Fucking... Whatever the fuck this horror show is. 

"I'd like to put your skills to use , either in the short or long term." Shepherd finishes.

"Fuck that, fuck you. I have like, five no wait," Rebecca counted them off in her head, Ras, Lisa, Camlos, Kratt, Vro, "Yeah five. I have the biggest family I've ever had. I'm not abandoning them."

"This woman leads Krogan?" Now even the Krogan was giving her shit.

Rebecca fired back, "Fuck you, I'll rip out your quad asshole."

The tension in the room reaches a boiling point, and it becomes clear that Rebecca's presence is only going to cause more problems.

Shepard, sensing the need to defuse the situation, puts a hand on Rebecca's shoulder. "Let's take this conversation elsewhere, Rebecca. We have a lot to discuss."

Rebecca shrugs off Shepard's hand, glaring at the crew. "Fine by me. I'd rather not spend another second breathing the same air as these self-righteous pricks, anyway."

As Shepard and Rebecca leave the cafeteria, the crew's hostile stares follow them out the door. Rebecca gives them all the finger as she leaves.

"I know you care about your family," Shepherd says, moving past all of... That. "Which is why I'm gonna say this. I *can* convince you. There is something that'll do it. Do you want me to *not?* So you can stay with them without worrying." She asks with a frown of concern.

"You *can't* convince me. If there was a way you could, I'd be interested, but you *can't.* You don't have it in you." Rebecca said firmly, with another snort.

"Last chance to cleanly back out, Rebecca. Just tell me to stop, and we'll get you home in three hours." Shepherd says again.

*The fuck is this?!* Rebecca grit her teeth angrily. "No. *I will not admit defeat* over a thing you haven't even tried."

"There's an enemy coming. Colonies in the Skyllian Verge going dark, piece by piece, part by part, with no warning." Shepherd starts with a dark look at her, "Alliance military isn't quick enough to respond. They don't know what's doing it."

"I *do.*" The Commander says with a confidence.

*How is this supposed to convince me? Is she aware that I have like zero care for people in the Hyrulian sector? Wait no Hyrule is some other shit.*

"You remember that super-capital that ripped the Citadel a new one? It had a name." Shepherd frowns at the memory distastefully. "Sovereign."

*This is the stupidest sales pitch I've ever heard.* Rebecca, however decided to lean in, really make sure Shepherd  felt like she was selling her on this. *I'll just **leave.***

Shepherd brings up her omnitool, tapping at the orange device and pulling up imagery of the massive beast. "This isn't some Geth assault, not some conventional war. They don't want territory or resources."

Fields of corpses on spikes, morphing into husks of every species. Cities burnt to the ground by beams from space. Bulbous, insectile aliens dragging away civilians and shoving them into the spikes or into cargo holds of cuttlefish like ships. "They don't care if we surrender, or if we fight. They want to kill every last thing that's still in space." Shepherd states.

"Every man, woman, and child. Their ships are better, faster. A single one took the Alliance fleet and the most advanced Dreadnought the Citadel has three hours to beat when it *wasn't* firing back." The Commander's voice is a quiet roar of authority. "Everyone you care about will die, everyone *I* care about will die. There'll be nothing left if we don't win."

"So, you gonna help us win?" Shepherd lays it bare, the whole situation presented with the sounds of blaring horns and beams of scarlet molten metal that rip across cities.

"You *have* to realise I don't take orders," Rebecca said, not answering the question.

"I don't really give them either." Shepherd laughs with an amused look, "I trust you, you're the best of the best. I tell you what has to be done. You get it done."

Rebecca stared at her with narrowed eyes. "So... I sit on your ship with you and your fuck buddies, one of which actively wants to stab me."

"I, uh, haven't actually done that. Bad look for a commander to, you know. Abuse authority." Shepherd says with a shrug.

Rebecca pauses suddenly nervous, "Uh. What is— I spent ten years as a popsicle, and have been learning society. Can you explain the uh bad-look thing."

"I gotcha, don't worry. I have a position of authority over my subordinates. I write their cheques and hand out their equipment. I tell them the tasks that need doing and assign them to them. If it looks like, I prioritize one over the other because, say, we're fucking. It'll hurt morale." Shepherd explains without concern or insult. 

"*Oh.*" Rebecca said, suddenly sweating a bit. *Oh fuck,* "But wait, how is that abusing authority?"

"They may feel if they say *no,* I'll retaliate. It doesn't need to be true, but the threat is inherent." Shepherd looks concerned.

"*Nooooo.*" Rebecca says slowly, in dawning horror, "People don't think like that. No-one would do that." Then quickly is pulling out her comm to message Kratt and Camlos.

> Group Message: Officer Chat
>> Rebecca
>>> Does it hurt moral that I fuck Kratt and Camlos?
>>> Also. Is it like... Abusing my authority?
>>> Do you think I'd get you killed if you didn't fuck me? Or get you killed if like... It was you or one of my partners?!
>>> Am I taking advantage of my people?!?!
>>Commander Sitrina
>>>I think you're having a rather severe reaction. I believe you'd prioritize people, but not to the extent of having us run into a suicidal situation for them.
>> Rebecca
>>> I wouldn't! Everything I do is like... Skill based.
>>> Sitrina. You're the only one out of my *eight officers* that responds in this group chat.
>>> Why would you think I'd prioritize them over my fucking *best?????????!!!!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!*
>>Commander Sitrina
>>>Emotional connection, mostly. It doesn't bother me much.
>> Rebecca
>>> The Company is my legacy. And everyone I promote to officer is *at least* like.
>>> I don't  really know what you call family you don't have sex with.
>>> The word platonic is new to me. Anyways. The answer is *no.* I would not send Worthy Fists to fucking *die* for my family. Well. Maybe Ras tbh. But that's because she's a wilting flower and needs protecting.
>>> No I pick my partners because they can handle themselves, and if they die or get hurt, I can't be responsible, because they were the best.
>>> I hope *everyone* in this chat sees this. Because I don't know if you fucking people even read these things. Which is Sitrina makes 20% the rest of your salaries. Combined.
>>> I just realized there might be worse ways to hurt morale.

# Part 2

"Having fun?" Shepherd asks, having been largely ignored by the woman for texting.

"No." Rebecca admits with a small grimace. "No, I'm still struggling with the idea of platonic relationships, and my merc company thinks I'd pick my partners over my highest earners."

"That's cause they think you're normal. I get it from my crew sometimes too. The mission, the goal's more important than what we feel." Shepherd agrees. "Whether that's doing your duty, making money or getting famous, it's....more important."

"I was actually thinking of getting in the 'war for Omega' game." Rebecca admits, "She went after my family, and it'd be a real good 'One step too far' kind of story. *Ugh.*"

"Maybe, still, you gonna tag along with me for a little bit?" Shepherd smirks at the immediate reaction.

"*Not if you phrase it like **that!***" Rebecca hissed.

"Alright alright. Sadly, though, this means you can't put me through my bed till you're not on the roster." Shepherd chuckles, brushing a lock of hair out of her face.

"You *have to understand,*" Rebecca said *very* firmly, "That *I was never Ever EVER interested.* The only reason I competed at all was because -a- --id --mthi---" She mumbled the last part, trying to mostly avoid that this *whole thing,* started because *Ras said something*.

"Yeah, but I put my mascara on *very, very* thick." Shepherd leans backwards onto the wall in the hallway, giving her an enormous grin. "You have *no idea.*"

"Do you stop hitting on me when I sign the contract? That might be the most convincing argument yet." Rebecca snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Absolutely not." Shepherd laughs, "And there's no contract, really, just, uhm."

"What's my pay!?" she asked, horrified.

"Loot mostly. We get a lot of loot." The shorter, *slightly,* woman says.

"*Loot. Are you pirates!?*" Rebecca took a few bites of her food. Realising  she'd just be a fucking side-kick on someone else's *much cooler* mission. Completely overshadowed, constantly. The crew would hate her. The ship looked like shit. No-one here seemed any fun, and the only Turian was a cop with a stick up his ass and a fetish for arm bands.

"Weeeelll.....that's.....shit, it is pirates when you don't have a government." Shepherd admits, before her hand touched Rebecca's hand. "Hey, you'll do great here. I've seen you in action. When this is all said and done, we'll both be in the history books as heroes. We're professionals."

"I'm not." Rebecca admits, "I'm nowhere *near* a professional. I'm an *enthusiast.*"

"You wanna be?" Shepherd considers, tilting her head, "Learn some tricks, N7 style shit that'll let you get one up on anyone."

*No. Maybe. I don't know. This is stupid. She's stupid. Go back to Omega.* Rebecca didn't answer, clearly wanting to huff more than anything. There was at least a Krogan here.

"If you're good, *really* good, I'll give you the patch." Shepherd promises.

Rebecca points to the tattoo, before realising that no-one can see it. "I earned my patch, ma'am. FORECON. I'm proud of it."

"*Damnit.* That's a shame." Shepherd says with a frown, "I got one of those Asari spine tats, but with everyone important I killed instead of fucked. And now you'll not get to see it."

"You have a tramp stamp?" Rebecca giggled suddenly, the idea ludicrous.

"Mhmm, *you'll never see~.*" Shepherd giggles back, continuing to eat as the crew groans.

"I'm *so okay with that, miss.*" Rebecca says again. "I need to make a *fucking* Phone Call I *guess.*"

"Go ahead, I don't own your time Becky." Shepherd answers without concern, "If it's private, here, my quarters password." She forwards the four-digit code over.

"It's..." Rebecca sighs, "Yeah. Wait. Do... Do all these people just sleep in bunks?"

"Not the officers, no. The enlisted do." She answers.

"*Christ.*" Rebecca says staring at her, "You're taking all these people to die and they don't get *rooms.*"

"We're in a diamond can of air, outfitted with nukes and rail guns. Space is at a premium. Comfort or kinetic barriers, I'll wait." Shepherd smiles, looking over the crew, "You'll get a room though."

"*Comfort!*" Rebecca says, "If a shit ton of people are under my com— It's fine. *It's fine. It's none of my business.*" She muttered, opening her comm and walking to stand in the corner of the landing bay. "I'm the *stupidest* motherfucker on the goddamn galaxy. Errr. In. Fucking. Grah. Fucking *Reapers* Fucking *bug people* Fucking *Shepherd.*"

Shepherd waves at that, making Rebecca idly realise she has no idea what her first name is. Rebecca just wanted to be *gone* from this stupid bullshit.

She continued to pout, she would not do it. She refused to do it even. There was no point. It was a horrific, painful, stupid idea. She would just go home. She didn't need to save the galaxy. She didn't *want* to save the galaxy.

> Direct Message With: [CORRUPTED]
>> [CORRUPTED]
>>> If you don't stay on that ship we will turn off your body.
>>> <3

She blinked at the message. Scrolling back and forth with the contact. Was she being *threatened?* Fuck that, fuck *all of that.* She'd rather die than be controlled.

> Direct Message With: [CORRUPTED]
>> [CORRUPTED]
>>> If you die your family will be crushed
>>> Need every asset on this.
>>> Do not make us kill you.

*Mother-FUCKER!* Rebecca yelled in her head, *They fucked me. I can't do anything about this, they just fucked me.* She sat down and gripped her curls angrily, a few tears spilling down her face. She made a group call *very annoyed,* but calming down quickly. 

"Hello lover." Lisyris says from her bedroom, Ras in the same window as her, idly being petted through the suit as they both sit and watch a film.

Rebecca leads with, "Don't be mad," followed by a vast sigh that catches in her throat. Tears were already building. "Alright? Don't be mad."

"Calm down, lover, I won't. I promise," Lisyris says, tilting her head with a concerned quirk to her lips.

Rebecca doesn't believe that for a second, "The uh. There's this huge... Galaxy ending threat? I guess? I signed up to try and protect everyone. The things that attacked the Citadel, they were one ship of an army that basically wants too like... Do that husk shit to the entire galaxy, I think. I didn't follow well." She waited for them to respond.

"I see. And you're certain they're truthful?" Lisa asks as Ras looks up with concern in her faceplate, the look bleeding through, calmed by the touch of the Asari.

"I don't really see why they would lie about that." Rebecca admitted, "Seems a bit... Pointless? I saw the Reaper ship tear up the Citadel, I saw the husks. Garrus is a boot licking fasc, but he's not a liar."

"Alright, lover. Come back to me," Lisa says, wrestling with the emotions as Ras gives a tiny noise.

"Lisa, you know I love you," Rebecca whispered, "Ras, I love you so much. When I get back, we'll have that wedding alright? It'll be fine. Alright?"

She can't trust her voice, and just nods.

"And you have Lisa, Vro, Camlos, Kratt. You've got the Worthy Fists." Rebecca says quietly, "You've got a family. Lisa, you've both got a family. That's my real legacy, was pulling you all together. I'll be back, really easy."

"*Okay.*" Ras shakes as she has to be *away* from Rebecca after so long *together.*

"I'm also just a comm call away." Rebecca says, "Just a single call, anytime you can see me and talk to me. I'll send e-mails and videos. Gifts and shit."

"*O-okay.*" The Quarian shivers again, "*P-please call me too.*" There's a sense of something in Rebecca, a vague familiarity. *So this is what all the married guys felt?*

Rebecca smiled, "Of course? Why wouldn't I? You're mine." She whispered, "You are everything to me. I wouldn't have done this over call. Aria kicked us off the planet. Oh, and like, if you ever feel like... Inviting someone else to your... Clean room, we never discussed that. It's fine with me. You should be happy."

"U-uhm. O-okay?" Ras says confusedly.

"Hey this is a little selfish after all this." Rebecca said, a bit upset, "Can um, can you say you love me? You're just saying okay."

"I love you, i-i'm j-just t-trying n-n-not to-to cry," Ras says shaking.

Rebecca smiled, crying already, "Why? Crying is fine. It's a thing people do. All the time."

"I-I have a mask, I j-just gotta k-keep quiet an-and you c-can't n-notice." Ras jokes, obviously breaking up.

"Then I'd be worried you were mad." Rebecca said, now very much crying, "This isn't goodbye, so I'm just saying you know, see you soon. See you later,"

"I love you, p-please come back." Ras shudders.

"I love you *so much.*" Rebecca whispers back, "You're the *best,* you're so great. I love you all so much. Plus, we have the group chat, so like. Fuck it, right? Infranet keeps people together. Alright, I'm falling apart, so I'm gonna let you go."

Ras *breaks* and gives a sob at '*let you go,*' making Lisa hum at her, calming her slowly.

"*No, no, no,*" Rebecca said quickly, "It's just I could never. I... In the clean room. In the condo, there's a false panel in the top drawer, alright? I made something for you there. There's *a ton of shit,* because I prepare ahead. That's *all* for you."

She had whittled, as she does for every partner, a heart. She had sanded down wood, lacquered it, then hollowed it to make wedding bands. There were flowers, pressed to be kept forever in a notebook. Drawings, her wedding journal, and just general poems and songs she was writing for Ras. There was so  much love in there. Hopefully, she'd know she would not be forgotten.

Ras is still crying, having latched onto Lisa, who's holding her with all the love she can muster. "We'll be here, lover." Lisa says to *both* of them.

Rebecca can't watch anymore. She nodded to Lisa after making eye contact and then "I love you, you fixed me. Well, you got me pretty close. We never solved the blood thirsty psychopath part." She can't help but laugh.

"I don't think that's something we need to fix, lover. Besides." Lisa's voice and touch keeps Ras from sobbing anymore even as she cries. "I love you how you are."

"I love you too. I know Vro, Camlos, and Kratt are on the call, even if they won't say shit because they're men," Rebecca growled into the mic, seeing that they *both clearly picked up.* "I'll forgive that because they're cute."

"I'm not saying shit 'cause you'll be back, idiot." Vro pipes in, having also answered the call. "The fuck do I care? You'll be sad for a month."

"Fuck you, next time you see me I'm going to be a fucking clan master. Bring home my own wife for me and Kratt from Tuchanka. Clan Worthy Fist." Rebecca bites out. She had never really said that part out loud.

Vro laughs *wildly,* "Go kill some genocidal aliens, we'll *finally* have something to bond over." The Krogan sounds excited *and* amused at the idea. "*Rachni's a better name than Reapers though.*"

"Yeah, but Reapers got way bigger ships." She shot back. "Love you too. *Now* I'm hanging up. *Kratt and Camlos.*"

She waited. She sighed. She ended the call.

>Direct Message From Birdy
>>Birdy
>>>Love you, be safe.
>> Rebecca
>>> When am I not safe?
>>> It just looks unsafe because people underestimate me.
>>Birdy
>>>Nerd, I'm trying to be comforting
>>>Don't die
>>>Who's gonna bully me
>> Rebecca
>>> Oh you'll see in a week.
>>> I've got that handled.
>>> :)
>>> >:)
>>> >:3
>>Birdy
>>>Ugh
>>>Don't mind Kratt by the way.
>>>He probably just doesn't know how to say anything
>>>I barely do
>> Rebecca
>>> I know, I'm going to just tell him I love him. That's fine.


> Direct Message to Kratt Name Here
>> Rebecca
>>> I'm not actually mad. I just know you love bullying.
>>> You don't have to say anything
>>> I'm having drones shoot Camlos with Paint balls randomly.
>>> It'll be great.

