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title: 'Forgiveness<br>Matthew 18:21-35<br>Faithful Forgiveness'

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# Forgiveness<br>Matthew 18:21-35<br>Faithful Forgiveness



Good Morning Church! today will be a topical sermon on forgiveness

We’re going to be talking about forgiveness and more importantly a biblical outlook on it. 


I want to start us off with a quote that should set us up we’ll in this time. 

**"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness"**

**<u>WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?</u>**
 

**FORGIVENESS** - To pardon; to remit, as an offense or debt; to overlook an offense, and treat the offender as not guilty. (Webster)

- Other definitions read: To stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake

**Minor example** When someone cuts you off in traffic and they flip you off like its your fault. 

That requires forgiveness 

**Major example:**  Or When a drunk driver kills a mother's two sons on the day that he was released from jail on his 3rd D.W.I.

That also requires forgiveness...

Two different situations with two degrees of pain and yet the same action of forgiveness is required.

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- Forgiveness can be a difficult thing to navigate at times, because of the severity of the offense or it seems like someone has just wronged us 1 too many times...and in your mind you've decided that there is no coming back from that...
-  **<u>but before you justify your unforgiveness in your mind</u>, *lets look at what Jesus tells Peter, when he brings up the topic of forgiveness when someone continually sins against you*.**

- So we’re going to read what Jesus told (Peter) & his disciples about forgiveness and the lack there of in the book of Matthew.(Ch. 18, Verses 21-30)



    ## **Background info:** 
    
- So a bit of background information... 
    
    - In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus is teaching on how to approach a matter of, if a brother sins against you. 
        - Now we will pick up in verse 21. **When Peter is asking a question that we all have wondered before...**

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**LET'S READ...**

Matthew 18:21-30 (whole thing)

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

**[21] Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”**


- The Pharisees taught that a man must be forgiven of sin <u>3 times</u> and after the third time you can be done with that person. (Wipe Hands) 
    - **This is a lot like what we see today!** (often times we don't even keep a person around after they sin against us the first time) 


        - Or we say I'm going to give them one more chance and then I'm done with them.


- Peter went way beyond the teaching of his day **(Only forgiving 3 times)** with....forgiving "7" times.
    - **(He probably thought that he was impressing Jesus by going over the "required" amount times to forgive someone)** 


        - What Jesus' answer was, *wasn't the answer that Peter wasn't prepared for* 
- <u>Jesus raised the bar to something that may have caught Peter off guard.</u>



**Look at verse 22**

[22] **Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.**

  - Some translation have 70 x 7. (490)
     - That doesnt mean on the 78th or 491st time we get wronged that we stop forgiving. *Instead this is used to show the constant state of forgiveness that we should be in.*
    - Here we see Jesus raise the bar as he has done many other times in scripture.
 **(If you have hate in your heart, guilty of murder / if you lust after a woman, committed adultery)**
 - When you think about it at the end of the day JESUS wants US to be like him. (every thought, every word, every deed)


     - **<u>CHRIST IS THE STANDARD!!!!!</u>**


        - He taught that this expectation was beyound us. 
            - He raises THE BAR to what only God can do. 
        - **CHURCH, this is something that is not possible for us to do in our own power.**


**(PREACH)**


 - **This kind of forgiveness is only possible with God, (<u>pause</u>) as he gives us the power and the ability to forgive.**
- In essence, Jesus is teaching that we must keep no record of wrong. We must forgive--period.
    1. **Not to make them jump through hoops**
    2.   **Not to make them apologize**
    3.  **Not to secretly hold a grudge**


- Doesn't that **(kind of sound like)** / remind us of 1 Corinthians 13:5?, "[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, ***it keeps no record of wrongs*"** (NIV; emphasis mine). 


APPLICATION:
- People are going to fail and sin against us...again and again.
    - But we are still called to forgive again and again.
        -  **and not this worldy forgiveness (Pause) but a forgiveness that is of Christ (Pause) and that being a forgiveness..... from the heart.**


TRANSITION 
- So now we see how, **Jesus has raised the bar for his children to forgive**. That being, in a way that is an anomally to this world. 
 -  Now, lets look at what forgiveness looks like in the **parable that Jesus follows with, in verse 23-27.**


**[23] “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. [24] When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. [25] And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. [26] So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ [27] And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.**

- Here Jesus is illustrating... **<u>the Gospel</u>, right in front of his disciples.** He compares the kingdom of heaven to this parable.
- We see very distinctly the similarity of mankind being in the position of the servant. And because of the Kings mercy, (Grace in Christ) the debt is forgiven. 
    -  Jesus explains how we are to live in our proper kingdom (The kingdom of GOD) and not the kingdom of the world.
    - Jesus used a parable to help the disciples understand that there is a new standard on the earth for His people. **(It is no longer a forgive only 3 times)** 
        - This theology sets the bar on **PERFECTION**; it gets them lined up to the standard that God **expects** from <u>everyone who is in the faith.</u>
        - Jesus explained that their condition before God is like a servant who owes 10,000 talents which is a debt that is insurmountable.


     - So here Jesus didnt specify whether the servant owed 10,000 talents of **SILVER OR of GOLD** but lets just get a modern dollar amount, for what the servant would owe for silver which is the lesser amount...

 - **10,000 talents of silver = $250,000,000**
     - Could you imagine owing someone $250,000,000

- This is a kind of debt that is so large that the servant would have had to give up everything **(WIFE, KIDS, POSSESSIONS)** and it still wasn't enough. 
        
   
App. 


- Jesus uses this number of 250,000,000 million dollars to show how much of a debt that this servant had to pay. (Gold 20 billion)


    -  The servant didnt have a payment plan,
    -   He didnt have a family member to ask, 
    -   The only thing that he could do was plead with the King. 


        - This is a great picture of our helplessness without Christ and also... the **mercy and goodness** of GOD to **forgive our debt.**   
             - If youre in Christ this is what you have been forgiven of a debt that you could not even possible begin to pay.

**<u>Transition.</u>**

So now that we have: Grasped a firm understanding of the impossible '**debt that this servant has been forgiven of and our debt that we have been forgiven of**... in Christ. 
- Lets look at how this forgiven servant responded to a co-worker who owed him a debt.


 **[28] But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ [29] So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ [30] He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.**
 
 - This same servant went out, right after this meeting with the King that he pleaded with **(TO HAVE MERCY ON HIM)** and found his fellow servant.
 - So we dont know if he found his fellow servant by *searching for him or not* but we do know that this happened **right after, he had his encounter** with the king. 
 - The servant, **upon finding his fellow slave who owed him money 10,000 denarri ($25,000)**  began to choke him because of this debt.

- **Not only did he choke him**...
    -  BUT when the servant pleaded for mercy and patience in <u>the same way that he did just a moment ago.</u> He threw him into prison until he paid back the money that he owed him. 

Interp.

 - **Do you know how angry you have to be to choke another person? Hitting them is one thing but hindering a person from breathing is another level of angry.** 
     - And the reason that he was so angry with his servant is because he owed him money. (a debt) The same thing that he had just been forgiven for. 

   - The forgiven slave was forgiven of a huge debt **($250,000,000)** and he locked up his fellow slave because of a **($25,000)** debt. **(that measured no where close to his.)** 

- **The forgiveness that the first servant had been given from his King should have affected his entire life...**
    -  Instead he allowed what seems like pride affect his view on forgiving another for their debt. 
    


**Application:**


- **This is how RIDICULOUS we look as Christians when we don’t forgive.**
-  Jesus uses this dollar amount to explain our sin. 
    -  This huge unpayable debt equates to how huge and unpayable our debt from sin is. 
- Unforgiveness is a pride issue. The servant was unaffected/indifferent to the debt that he owed to the king. Out of that pride/entitlement, he locked up someone who owed $25,000 to his $250,000,000 million

- "If you’re in Christ this is what has happened to you. You have been forgiven of an immeasurable debt."

    - Some of the harshest language in the Bible is directed to Christian’s for un-forgiveness. (search it out, type in forgive to bible gateway and youll see the sererity of a believers unforgiveness)
    
    
---
## 2 TYPES OF FORGIVENESS 

    
- So forgiveness can occur in one of two forms:





**<u>Unilateral and Transactional forgiveness</u>**

**<u>Unilateral forgiveness</u>- When you forgive the offender without them knowing.**

**<u>Transactional forgiveness</u>- Is when someone comes to you seeking for you to forgive them and you give them forgiveness.**

* Some of you might be in a spot where you have to excercise unilateral forgiveness...


    * Because the person has passed away, you have lost all contact with them or they just don’t think that they did anything wrong. 

And

* Some of you might be in a spot to where you have to exercise transactional forgiveness... 


    * **<u>Someone has come to you and acknowledged that they are wrong and that they want your forgiveness but your heart is hard towards them</u> and you havechoosen to be comfortable in your sin/unforgiveness and not forgive them.**

I got the mercy of seeing both of these examples with my parents.

- Dad Unilateral/Mom Transactional

(Grew up in an abusive home, poor, uncared for)


DAD: 
- I’m still trying to move towards him in love and I have forgiven him and he has never asked for it. And probably never will. He doesn’t believe that he did anything wrong because he said at least he was there. 
- So he will maybe never ask for forgiveness and I have to be ok with that. Still have a seat for him at my table. That’s unilateral forgiveness that I'm called to have...

    - Because if Christ can forgive me for the wretched things that I have done to him. Because remember All sin that we commit is firstly against GOD. Then I can forgive my dad for the wretched things that he has done to me.


MOM:(Transactioinal)

- My mom came to me as I was older weeping and telling me that she didn’t do a good job loving me as a mom. 

My first response, “Obviously!” 

- But because the Lord had been growing my heart for my mom, the spirit and wise counsil made it clear to me, that since I had been forgiven I could forgive.
    
    - Even though what I experienced growing up was truly terrible. (Maybe elaborate)

This was an example of transactional forgiveness. She came to me acknowledging her wrong and searching for forgiveness and out of the freedom of being forgiven in Christ I had the power to forgive her. 

- Now our relationship is better than ever and it started with REMEMBERING THE GOSPEL, Christ's forgiveness. 







App.

- American/ worldly forgiveness says: Its a process (Im working on it, Im not there yet, I can love them from a distance)  

    - **These are phrases that we use as Christians that make life easier on ourselves.**


        - **But ultimately we are just fooling and tricking ourselves to walk in sin.**

<u>Thats because biblical forgiveness looks like us:</u>

- **Forgiving as Christ has forgives us.**

    

# Practicals to forgiveness

- AS WE TAKE STEPS TOWARDS FORGIVENESS. 


    - HERE are some practical steps to take when a situation presents itself.

- **First let's talk about:**
        - When you wrong someone: (Just awful or when there us an arguement)
- With arguements/conflict:
    - “Usually in conflict there is sin on both sides”

**Ex: Argument with Leny. Even if she started it or whatever I have more often than not sinned somewhere in the matter. (Like Being quick to anger, saying something that doesnt build her up, not being understanding, etc.)**

- So even if she started the argument there is still: **<u>Sin on both sides</u>**



- So whenever you wrong someone...**"Do not say I'm sorry"**

    - Instead (Humility and swallowing of pride) ask: **Will you forgive me...** 

**This is hard to do!!!** 

- When we say I'm sorry, its really easy to not mean it. 
    - Other times we use **"I'm Sorry"** as a defense to silence the other from telling us how our actions affected them [to shut them up]) “I said I’m sorry”

- When it comes to forgiveness: 
    - **Evaluate what you did wrong. Ask for their forgiveness , without expecting them to ask **YOU** for yours.**
        - (Hopefully they admit their wrongs as well, but that isn’t the point of forgiveness) 

**When someone sins against you:**

- Remember: 
    - Forgiveness isn’t given because it’s deserved. 
    - But Jesus calls us to forgive from the heart. Not some counterfeit forgiveness. 

        - **Jesus doesn’t bring up the wrong that you’ve done against him.**
        - Jesus doesn’t say I’m not ready to forgive yet,
        -  he doesn’t say that his forgiveness is a process like we tend to hear. 
        -  **As hard as this is if we don’t forgive from our heart we are living in sin.**

* If you have forgive a person 80% that’s better than 0% but you’re still in sin if you havent fully forgiven them.

- **Some of you might say to me Kam you dont understand the hurt and pain that they caused me, youre right I and I wish that I could understand so I could know how to care for you...**
    - **But in reality I dont but Christ does! He loves and cares for you so. He proved that on the cross.**

- I also want to remind you church to not... **FORGET that our GOD, is a just judge and whoever sinned against you, know it’s handled.**
    - **No one gets away with sin. There is going to be a day of reckoning for all sin.**
    - **Either its has been handled on the CROSS or it will be handled on Judgement Day.**
        - SO YOU CAN REST IN THE FACT THAT GOD KNOWS. AND THAT NO DEED WILL GO UN-JUDGED.

**(LONG PAUSE)**


I know that forgiveness can seem like a huge task or something that youre just unable to work through:
- You might be tempted to leave from here saying that its a process for you and not even addressing this heart issue of unforgiveness.

    - *As Believers we tend to make comprimises/excuses when we are required to do something that requires us to kill our sin.*

I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO: **NOT, DO THAT, HERE.** 


Forgiveness is necessary in the life of a believer.

- **IT ISNT GIVEN BECAUSE ITS DESERVED!!!** 


    - IT IS GIVEN BECAUSE: It IS COMMANDED BY CHRIST!!!

Chruch if you feel that you just dont have the power to forgive someone (maybe its the way that they have wronged you) and **you just dont feel as if you are able to find it in yourself to forgive them, you are absolutely right.** 

- In your own power you dont have the power to <u>forgive</u>, <u>to love properly</u>, or to even <u>live a life that's honoring to GOD in any way</u>.


(Lower tone)
But if you rely on Christ's strength and power in you, then and ONLY THEN! will you have the power to forgive. As Jesus says in John 15:5 "Apart from me you can do nothing" (Emphasis, mine)


## Application Steps:

- <u>Here are 3 steps for you when you leave here today:</u>

Whether its on the drive home, when youre out eating lunch, or wherever: 
1. **Remember the Gospel.... and your position before the King.**
 - Helpless and unable to pay the debt of your sin... Start there.
2.  **Start thinking of those who you havent truly forgiven...**
    - Go through your mind and think of everyone that youre still holding a grudge against after all of this time. Or it could even be recent offense.
3. **Start praying for GOD to give you a genuine forgiveness from the heart.** 

When we remind ourself of the gospel and how Christ forgave us for all of the evil that we have done. It becomes a lot easier to ask the Lord for the power to forgive those who have done evil to us. 

Let's pray

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## Notes

[1] See Bible Hub's "[Weights And Measures](https://https://biblehub.com/weights-and-measures/#weights)." Calculated amount from a $23 troy ounce price.


## Works Cited
Scripture quotations [unless otherwise noted]from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

[Click here](https://insidecrosspoint.org/sermons/2023/jan/bibliography.html) to access the works cited web-page for this document, save those marked as “Notes” or “Other Works Cited”–if any. Most of these cited works correspond to the verses they are outlined with. In the case of general background information and references, one will find cited material with the Bible books the citations are associated with. ¶ Furthermore, all numbered notes that are URL linked are retained numbered notes from Thomas Constable’s, “Dr. Constable’s Expository (Bible Study) Notes.” These links are preserved “as is” at the time of this work’s formation and sometimes include other citation information from Constable.