---
# System prepended metadata

title: Other notes of A. Strand
tags: [ttrpg]

---

# Other notes of A. Strand

###### tags: Waterdeep

## To her diary, herself, who knows

I have said it several times: "I make the choices I can live with." It was true when I said it. It was how I thought about it when I did it.

And now I am left to wonder, though. Because that was the choosing, and this is the living with the choices. And I feel like a wound that won't scab over. I miss her. I think about her. I wonder if she thinks about me. There's one-hundred faces of the unknown living that I can't see, and one face that I wish I could see again. But she's gone. And three children down in the Hells, sacrificed by their parents. We didn't save them. Because we made a different choice.

I miss my family. I wonder if they think about me, too. And I wonder if when they do, there is any love left in it, or if I am just another worry to juggle among the affairs of state.

I missed him. He's still here, on his boat. I wonder what I should do about it. I wonder if what I should do is really what matters. I am tired of putting what I should do ahead of what I might want. I'm tired of not knowing what I want.

It feels like everything has been leading up to this moment. And now Manshoon is asking me to make a choice.

I don't know what choices I can live with anymore.