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# System prepended metadata

title: Passive Empathy

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# Passive Empathy
Some notes on empathy. I was sent me a podcast that I listened to this morning.

- [Podcast](https://)

The lack of an empathic ability is related to a number of games. In the language of the podcast when "climates" clash the passive pattern uses avoidance.

 ## Passive Avoidance Tactics
 1. Avoid (answering)
 2. Delay (answering)
 3. Change the subject
 4. Turn the tables
 5. Me, me, me (false tears)
 6. Anger or Pride
 7. Paranoia
 8. Cycle
 9. Forgetting

## Not
It is important to focus on what is not happening. Empathy. Also humility. What is being avoided is:
- Taking responsibility. That is understood as a loss of power, even if the opposite is true. 
- Focussing on simple action is impossible to entertain. 
- The concepts embedded in the idea of an apology are alien.

## Pattern
This pattern emerges when someone in a passive pattern is faced with a conversation around behaviour change (taking action) and empathy (excersizes).

The aim of this pattern (and its partner) is to provoke anger. Anger is attention, and that is love (in the sense if power). Or at least that is what psycho-babble would speak.

In pragmatix the pattern is observable. The need is identified. The pattern can be expressed. The question is what to do about it? Most online sites say give up.

## Abusive Cycle
Lets call the active pattern Athena, and the passive pattern Neil.

1. The action pattern (Athena) responds with more action. First practice empathy, then take action she says. 
2. This triggers the mirror pattern (Neil - passive) to double down - the request for action being proof that the passive tactics are working - more personal attention has been generated.
3. Athena waits. She is patient (if naively wise). Then brings up the same issue.
4. Neil is shocked. Why bring this up again? I thought we dealt with this already?
5. Athena is patient.
6. Athena becomes angry. She us war. Action is clearky required!
7. The passive response generates anger. She may react with pride, or display anger.
8. This generates a peaceful response. He
9. 
10. The anger generates paranoia, or victim acting.
11. Leads to more talk. Seeking empathy.
12. This confirms the beliefs of the passive climate.
13. The cycle continues

If broken, one or other parties seek out more similar pattern partnerships without learning. If they stay the relationship can be functional but is always in danger if becoming abusive.
