>Last Updated: 01123 [color=#bacff7]
[toc]
# My Stuff
hi
just a guy bogged down by unwanted circumstances
(even though most of the time it's my own fault)

![]()

{%youtube 6ZvLcqrl_sQ %}
## Links

- [LastFM](https://www.last.fm/user/tamilelle02)
- [RateYourMusic](https://rateyourmusic.com/~tamilelle02)

:::success
**mostly interested in music and manga, send recs on RYM.**

i try to make stuff but they all suck. perceive at your own discretion
:::

## Blog Entries

### 00123 - new year
list of things i want to accomplish
1. jazz theory
2. an actual listenable song
3. stop being so autistic around people
4. actually i'd just like to finish something

thank you

{%youtube SHb0c6zcp7c%}

---
### 00223 - listening in

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4F5tuVV1B7zEw5ZYgd6hgD?si=41a267c22e454ce9

---
### 00423 - understanding port forwarding

>(writing this just to hopefully make me keep what i've read in mind )
>>(also these are just my own intepretation, so it might all be completely incorrect)

so i was trying to torrent a JP master of Unknown Pleasures from the 1977 - 1980 compilation boxset on my laptop (cus the masters on streaming are compressed to death)

...

**it was so fucking slow**.
my internet's fucking slow.
i have like a down speed of 1KB/s

and then an idea flashed across my mind:

***port forwarding***

it was something i heard a millennium ago. couldn't remember a damn detail so i scrolled thru a bunch of tech blogs to recollect its inner workings.

and because i'm dumb as a sack of shit so i still couldn't comprehend everything. it's something along the lines of this:

stateDiagram-v2
    direction LR
    
    s1:Remote PC
    s2:Local Network
    
    local1:Local Device w/Port 80
    local2:Local Device w/Port 100
    local3:Local Device w/Port 80
    
    s1-->Internet: Data - pointed to external IP w/Port 80
    Internet-->Router
    
    note left of Router
        This bears the
        external IP address
    end note

    note left of s2
        These bear the
        internal IP address
    end note
    state s2 {
    direction LR
    Router-->local1
    local2
    Router-->local3
    }

port forwarding is a networking technique that **enables Internet users connect to another user on their PC**, allowing data/communication requests to be sent without obstructions from the router or firewall of the receiving end.

:::danger
one of my misconceptions was that **the "port" are physical ports like the ones on the routers.**

# *NO.*

it's simply an identifier for the type of data being transmitted. for example:
- **80**: HTTPS
- **25565**: Minecraft
:::

...so how does it aid torrenting?

(https://www.reddit.com/r/VPNTorrents/comments/p6h7em/answered_why_you_do_need_portforwarding_for/)

when you're torrenting files, in order to connect to and communicate with peers, **at least one side needs to have their port open/forwarded**. (for most cases)

and once you forward your ports, more active seeders/nodes can connect to you.

which means......

:::success
### FASTER DOWNLOADS BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
:::

---

anyways so that's that. again i might be wrong


at first i tried to configure my router's settings on my laptop on wi-fi and i couldn't log in the administrator's account. i got my router's model wrong twice so i was entering the wrong pwords the whole time but even when i finally had the right admin pword down, i was still denied access

then i found out your device needs ethernet connection to log in as admin. i was on wi-fi


half an hour has gone to waste. fuck

i then switched to my desktop and voila. cleared at first try :DDD

the following hour i tried adding virtual servers (basically equivalent to port forwarding) in the NAT config page.and after countless attempts, i still couldn't seem to get the ports to open according to various online port checking tool.

***i was fucking fuming***

and so i was like fuck it. opened up qbittorrent and torrented the master. it took only like 20 minutes prob because i wasn't torrenting via wi-fi like the oblivious shithead i was a few hours back.

...

at least the music's good

though from this experience im sure i am too incompetent to be an IT engineer

---
### 01023 - dreams

lately ive been dreaming of myself dying in horrible ways

but dying isnt scary
so i wouldnt call them nightmares

---
### 07723 - okay
ever since the last point nothing substantial happened in my life
and i am angry that im the same person as before

---
### 12823 - topster
stitched together a rough demo: {%youtube hbm_vJAzS8c%}

some favs

even if there is no one rooting for me i still want to struggle

---
### 24223 - ...
kept on comparing myself to other people
it's a toxic way of living but i couldn't help it
...

i met people, old and new
and i feel nothing, not even a smidgen of emotion
..

days have been moving quickly
but i am not prepared for what's to come
.

life is uncomforable