# Little L'Av
### Draft V0.1

*OliverBenn X [Dall-E 2](https://openai.com/dall-e-2/)*


It was insane mate...

Yeah sure. Pint of Ardees would be great. I mean it was beyond insane.  Like, the am-I-losing-it? kinda insane.

Oh yeah, - you droids are all linear. Let me start at the beginning.


So, Little L’av is 6 months old. They tell you that your life is going to change with a kid, but you never really get that until you're there. I mean, I didn't at least. Six months in and you're remembering the good old days when you got to sleep through the night like they were decades ago. Seriously, I haven't slept in forever.

Tonight, Yeye had the night shift, and I was so excited to watch the Boonta Classic on the Holo. Kick back and put away a few bevs. All I had to do was feed L’av and put'em to bed. Yah right.


There was this moment, as soon as Yeye left and the door slid shut, when the kid looked at me. It was one of those 'calm before the storm' moments. Here's this 6-month old baby, sitting in the child chair, looking at me with this calm intensity, you know. I smiled, pumped about the evening, right? This was going to be fun. I just love that kid.

The world paused: the kid staring, and me grinning like an idiot, you know what I mean.


Then all 10 kilos of baby erupted.

This wasn't an ordinary, run-of-the-mill cry … this was a thermal detonator-level explosion.

The kid started screaming, no ... wailing ... like it's the end of the world. I'm talking ear-splitting. Like the sound took form and occupied my brain in a way that took over everything.

I couldn't think. Buddy, I panicked. Yeye had been out of the house for like 2 seconds and I was already losing the battle.


Well, you get to know these little tricks, right? Things that'll calm the little one down. Favourite toy, certain food or music ... that kind of thing.

I gotta tell you ... nothing worked. I tried rocking the baby. I tried playing music. I tried rocking the baby to music. There was this moment when I realized I had all my kid-soothing weapons in my arsenal in play: rocking the kid in the refresher with both the taps on, that Mon Calamari opera that everyone loves while I'm doing doing my best rendition of 'Mama Moon', while trying to get the teething ring into the kid's mouth.


So this went on for a while. The kid started to calm down a little, and the screaming was starting to slow down. All I'm thinking is, blast-it, this kid has lungs!

Ok, I thought. Little L'av is starting to calm down. I might, just might, get the baby to calm down enough to eat. I wouldn't say I thought I was winning or anything, but I definitely was thinking that there was progress. Fantastic.

Eventually, L'av calmed down to the point where I could think again. As you droids would probably say, 'thank the maker!'


I slowly made my way to the kitchen, the whole time jiggling the baby.

I knew I was losing it when I put the baby food on the counter to cool. Got distracted for a moment, and when I came back ... you'd think I could find it again?! Looked everywhere, and it was nowhere. I looked and looked; this wasn’t a ‘honey-it's-right-in-front-of-you situations’ ... but it was! The little one stopped screaming for a moment, distracted by the sheffi, and in that moment of quiet, I turned around and there it was. Right where I fragging well put it in the first place … argh!!


I know I sound like a whiner, like I don't like my own kid or something. I totally do love little L'av with all my heart. I really don't have the words ... there's nothing more special, nothing more amazing than looking down at the little one and have'em smile at you, have them grip your finger with their tiny little hand. Nothing like it.


So L'Av finally started to settle down. Feeding'em was actually kind of fun. Played that game you know, where you pretend the spoon is a star ship, flying into their mouth. Voom voom, that kind of thing. L'av giggled the whole time ... a relaxed and happy baby. Fantastic.

After eating, I was able to put L'av into bed, no problem. Smiled at me as a said good night, eyes drooping the way babies do when they're sleepy. I flipped off the light, and backed out of their room. All was good ... time for the Boonta Classic on the holo!

I got maybe 15 minutes on the chair, finally thinking that I got this.

That was a mistake.

I was sitting in my chair when I heard a thump from L'Av's room. Then another thump. What the ...?!!

I figured I should check it out, right? I went to their door, and opened it a crack and peaked in. No ... that can't be right, I thought, so I opened the door fully. Frag, that's not possible!


Little L'Av was laying down in bed, making some kind of angry grunting sound, and above them, swirling through the air were all their toys! Toys literally flying through the air! Like I said, it was insane. All I could think was, how the frag is this happening! What is going on?!

Could Little L'Av be doing that?!

I rushed in, grabbed L'av and ran out of the room as fast as I could. Slammed the door behind me. I held on to the little one like there was no tomorrow. I just stood there, trying to catch my breath and basically freaking out.


I stood there for the longest time, hugging Little L'Av, until Yeye walked in the door. I thought, Thank Space! Finally some help.

That was until I saw Yeye's face. Oh man. Yeye had this look, like the world was ending.

What's wrong?! You'll never believe what just happened! I said.

All I got in response was ... they're coming for L'Av ... the Jedi ...


<a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/"><img alt="Creative Commons Licence" style="border-width:0" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc-sa/4.0/80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License</a>.