# The Next Batch of Autism

- - -

"This is bad, Spike!"

Twilight paced nervously back and forth across the main room of the library.

"This is really, really bad!!"

Spike sat in the corner in his favorite easy chair, smoking his bubble pipe. Usually, Twilight's freakouts were one of his few sources of amusement, but today she was actually starting to worry him.

To her credit, Twilight had managed to keep it together long enough to finish getting Pyx ready for school. However, as soon as the door had slammed shut behind her, Twi had gone straight for the Pone's Farm and started ranting.

"What are you freaking out about, anyway?" demanded Spike. "They're not investigating you."

"It's not me I'm worried about," cried Twilight. "It's Pyx!"

"Pyx? That makes even less sense than if they were investigating you. What do you think, that Pyx killed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?"

He'd meant this as a joke, but from the look on Twilight's face, it was clear that she didn't take it as one. He choked on his pipe in surprise, and hiccupped out a large bubble.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"AAAAAARGH!!"

Twilight threw up her hooves in frustration.

"I don't know, Spike," she said. "But it looks bad."

Spike thought about it for a moment, then waved his claws dismissively.

"Oh, come on!" he said. "Sure, little Trebuchet and I have never really gotten along, but...I can't believe she'd actually [i]kill[/i] anypony!"

"[i]Pyx[/i] wouldnt," said Twilight. "But Nightmare Moon might."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"There you go with all that Nightmare Moon stuff again."

Twilight swallowed what was left of the bottle in a single gulp, and then grabbed a new one off the table and uncorked it. Spike watched her with unease. She wasn't even bothering with a glass today.

"You didn't see her that night, Spike. Coming out of the woods, those Nightmare Moonish eyes, glowing all Nightmare Moonishly! It was the Nightmare Mooniest thing I've ever seen!"

"Pfft," Spike said dismissively.

"And then there was that sack she had when I found her. The one with a thousand bits in it!"

"You said she found that under a log!"

"I said that's what she [i]told[/i] me!"

"Yeah, but..."

"You actually [i]believe[/i] she found a thousand bits hidden under a log?"

"No, but..."

"Where else would a little filly get a thousand bits, Spike?"

Spike shrugged.

"I dunno. Maybe she seduced a homeless guy."

"Oh, if only I could believe that were true!"

Twilight tipped the bottle back and downed about a third of it in one long glug. Spike watched her with concern.

"Uh, Twilight, maybe you ought to ease up a little on that..."

"There are other things, too, Spike!" she said. "Things I've noticed since she came back. Little signs here and there!"

"Like what?"

"Well, for one thing, I found Peewee stuffed down the garbage disposal the other day."

"Who?"

"Your pet phoenix."

"I have a pet phoenix?"

"Yeah. A little baby phoenix. Don't you remember?"

"I'm not sure anyone remembers that. And anyway, Peewee might have died of natural causes."

Twilight looked at him as if he were actually retarded.

"Peewee...died of natural causes."

Spike shrugged.

"Maybe?"

"And then stuffed himself into the garbage disposal."

"......it could happen."

"No, Spike, I'm pretty sure that it couldn't. This was [i]murder[/i], Spike."

"Murder most foul?"

"Yes! The worst kind of murder!"

She glugged down another third of the bottle.

"Do you have any idea what this is doing to my conscience, Spike?" she demanded. She looked a little unsteady on her hooves now. "Do you think I could live with myself, being the mother of a monster?!? Knowing that [i]*hic*[/i] I brought a [i]murderer[/i] into this world?!? And even if [i]*hic*[/i] even if I [i]am[/i] and I [i]did[/i], what right [i]*hic*[/i] do they have to take her away from me, [i]*hic*[/i]eben iv she iz...Nighdmare Moom...?!?!?!?"

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

"For the last time, Twilight, you're not actually her mother! And as much as I'd love an excuse to punt that annoying, creepy little hairball back into the woods where she belongs, you can't jump to conclusions just because of a few little--"

Spike cut himself off suddenly, when he realized that Twilight had lost consciousness, and was now lying sprawled out on the floor of the library. He sighed again, and went upstairs to the sleeping loft.

He returned a moment later, lifted her head, and stuffed a pillow under it. Then he threw a blanket on top of her.

"Get some sleep, you little drunken angel," he muttered.

He sat down to finish his pipe.

# Chapter Eleven: Cry "Nipah," and Let Slip the Pones of War

Pyx stared out the window, lost in thought. Miss Cheerilee was at the front of the class, reading the day's lesson. Pyx loved school, particularly history, and today's lecture was about an ancient Equestrian countess named Elizabeth Baythory, who had tortured over one hundred foals to death in her dungeon of despair. It was the sort of lecture that Pyx loved, and it should have had her on the edge of her seat with excitement, but for some reason she just couldn't concentrate on school today.

She'd been eavesdropping on Mommy Twilight's conversation that morning, of course. She hadn't been able to hear most of the details, but she knew it had something to do with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and how they were still missing. Something about that made her feel queasy inside. She didn't know what had happened to those two that night they'd all been lost in the woods together -- nopony did, after all -- but she knew that [i]something[/i] had happened. Something that had taken place after they'd ditched her and before Mommy Twilight had found her. Something she couldn't remember, or maybe didn't want to remember.

"Pyx!" somepony whispered.

She looked away from the window, and saw that everypony was staring at her. Miss Cheerilee was staring at her. They all looked like they were expecting her to say something. She stared blankly at them all for a moment. Normally, Mommy Twilight's voice in her head would give her advice in situations like this, but the voice had been strangely silent lately. It hadn't spoken since that night in the woods.

She realized she needed to say something.

"N-nipah~~!" she said, beaming.

Miss Cheerilee smiled.

"Excellent!" she said. Then, she turned back to the chalkboard and began writing.

Pyx glanced around her. The desk to her right, the one that Diamond Tiara had sat in, was empty, but the one on her left was Sweetie Belle's. She leaned over and whispered:

[i]"What's going on?"[/i]

Sweetie Belle looked surprised.

[i]"Weren't you paying attention?"[/i] she whispered back.

Pyx shook her head.

[i]"Oh,"[/i] whispered Sweetie Belle. [i]"Well, the class is putting on a play for the Ponyville Spring Festival, and you just agreed to direct it! AND play the lead role!"[/i]

- - -

Soup Du Jour was doing his best to look inconspicuous. Most ponies would find that rather difficult in this situation: at present, he was squatting in the bushes near the elementary school, watching a group of foals through a pair of binoculars. However, for Soup Du Jour, looking inconspicuous was not at all difficult, even in the most conspicuous of circumstances. Looking inconspicuous was something of a specialty for him.

The story of how Soup Du Jour had come to this point, to be squatting in these bushes, looking so conspicuous and yet so inconspicuous, is long and sad. And yet, it is a story that must be told if we are to understand him.

As far back as he could remember, Soup Du Jour had wanted to be a waiter at a fancy restaurant. It was in his very blood: his father had been a waiter in a fancy restaurant, as had his father before him, and his father before him. He was the last in a long, long line of fancy waiter-ponies. Surely, he felt, it would be his destiny to follow in their hoofsteps.

The signs had all been there. Even as a foal, he had had the appearance and carriage of a fancy waiter-pony. He had grown his first pencil mustache at the age of four. By the age of five, he was already wearing tuxedos and carrying plates around. His first words had not been anything so conventional as "mama" or "papa." Instead, he had looked up from his mother's teat and said, in a flawlessly fancy accent: "Would [i]madame[/i] like to try the [i]souffle?[/i]"

When his cutie mark of a raised dish and cloche had appeared, he had felt that his destiny was set in stone, that the road to fancy waiterdom would simply rise up to meet him. And yet, that destiny was not to be. For, no matter how adept he was at being a fancy waiter, he could find no restaurant that would employ him; nor any customer that would let him take their order.

For as soon as Soup Du Jour set forth into the world, he discovered that fate had dealt him a cruel blow indeed. For, no matter how great his waiterly talents might be, his destiny was to be...a background pony, and an obscure one at that.

He was the sort of pony that nopony ever noticed. Wherever he stood, he found that he simply blended in, as though he were a part of the scenery and nothing more. He was the sort of pony that you just didn't notice at all. You might see him once, if ever, and only for a split second at that. Odds are that if you [i]did[/i] see him, you wouldn't take notice of him, nor would you ever think to ask his name. If someone were to mention him to you, you would most likely have no idea to whom they were referring.

For years, Soup Du Jour had wandered Equestria, hoping to find work as a waiter, but instead finding that he was ignored by all. He would go from restaurant to restaurant and stand in the background, doing his best to look like a waiter, but it was to no avail; nopony ever noticed him, and nopony ever let him take their order. That is, until one fateful day, at a restaurant in Ponyville, when somepony had finally said the words he'd always dreamed of hearing:

"Excuse me, waiter? I think I'm ready to order now."

Bastion Yorsets, the only pony who had ever treated him as a waiter, would soon introduce him to the tenets of the Order of the New Moon. Now, Soup Du Jour was commited to a new world, a better world, a world in which the Great Queen Nightmare Moon would recognize his talents for fancy waitering and restore him to his proper position.

However, until that day came, he had a particular talent for being inconspicuous, and he had an obligation to use that talent in service of his Queen.

Today, that talent was being used to spy on four little fillies, who were enjoying their recess under the shade of an old elm tree. He couldn't hear what they were talking about, but he spotted the one he was supposed to be looking for easily enough.

He examined the filly through his binoculars, then examined the photo of Nightmare Moon he had been given. He frowned, and looked through the binoculars again. He stared for a long time, and then looked back at the photo.

Still frowning, he took a green marker in his mouth and scribbled a new mane onto the photo. He examined his work; no, it still didn't quite look right. He took a white marker and a black marker and colored in a racing stripe, and then doodled a leopard-print vest and headband over the Queen's armor. Then, he drew glasses on her. He stared back and forth between the modified photo and the filly seated under the elm for awhile, pensively stroking his chin.

"Hmm....." he said aloud. ".....no, I'm afraid I just don't see it."

However, none of the other fillies resembled the Queen either, and the one with the green mane [i]did[/i] at least match the description that Yorsets had given. He shrugged; perhaps he should just trust his Lordship's judgement on this one.

He leaned in and spoke into the communicator embedded in his lapel.

"Pardon me, sir," he said. "But I believe I have found the one you are looking for."

- - -

Meanwhile, Pyx sat in the shade of the mighty elm, staring into the grass and drumming her hooves nervously.

"What's wrong, Pyx?" said Apple Bloom. "Aren't you excited about gettin' to direct the play, nee-pah?"

"Yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "You get to star in it and everything! Tutturu!"

Pyx looked up nervously.

"Can I tell you girls a secret desu?" she whispered.

The three crusaders looked at each other and then nodded.

"I've never directed and starred in a play before! I have no idea what to do! Tuturru~~!"

"Tuturru~~!" responded the three fillies in unison.

"Didn't they have school plays back in Detrot desu?" asked Scootaloo.

"Honestly? I have no idea desu," admitted Pyx. "I don't even remember [i]living[/i] in Detrot. I don't remember most of the night I spent in the Everfree Forest either. Is it normal to have large chunks of time missing from your memories? Because this is really starting to freak me out desu--"

"Hey, maybe you've got brain damage!" said Scootaloo excitedly.

"Brain damage?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah!" said Scoot. "My Dad had it once. This one time, he and my Mom were tracking rare animals in the Forbidden Jungle, when a pack of angry crocodiles attacked, and my Dad hit his head against a tree--"

"Oh, stop pretendin' to have parents, Scootaloo!" interjected Apple Bloom. "You ain't foolin' nopony!"

"I [i]do[/i] have parents, though!" protested Scoot. "They're world-famous adventurers, and they travel all over Equestria, and they study exotic creatures, and--"

Sweetie Belle put a sympathetic hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder.

"Nopony's buying it, Scoot," she whispered. "You're just embarrassing yourself, desu."

Scootaloo glared sulkily at the ground.

"I'm [i]not[/i] lying!" she muttered. "I really [i]do[/i] have parents!"

However, the others had stopped paying attention to her.

"I wouldn't worry too much about brain damage, Pyx," said Apple Bloom, shooting Scootaloo a dirty look. "I think you're just nervous. Nee-pah."

"Nipah," agreed Pyx. She looked up. "But what about the play desu? I don't know the first thing about directing and starring in a play!"

"Miss Cheerilee says you also have to write it," added Sweetie Belle.

"I have to write it too?!?" cried Pyx.

"It's okay, Pyx!" Apple Bloom assured her. "We'll help! Ain't that right, girls?"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded.

"Actually," said Scootaloo, "We have something we wanted to give you."

"Oh yeah, that's right!" said Sweetie Belle.

The three crusaders reached into their bookbags, and they each pulled out their trademark red capes, emblazoned with a blue and yellow insignia. Pyx had seen these capes before; they signified membership in the Esoteric Order of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. However, today, Sweetie Belle had brought a fourth cape for Pyx, identical to those her friends wore.

"Is this...for me desu?" asked Pyx.

"Yep!" said Sweetie Belle. "Last night when I was setting the table desu, I accidentally put the soup spoons where the dessert spoons were supposed to go, and Rarity got super-angry with me and locked me in the cellar for the rest of the night. There was some fabric down there, so I made this to pass the time!"

"Eh...yeah," cut in Apple Bloom. "And also, you've been our friend for awhile now, and we've been thinkin' it's about time we made you an official member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

Pyx's horn lit up, and she held the cape before her eyes, staring at it reverently.

"This is...for me?" she asked again.

"You bet!" said Scootaloo.

Pyx fastened the cape around her neck.

"And now that you're an official Cutie Mark Crusader, writin' and directin' that play should be no problem!" said Apple Bloom.

"Yeah, we'll all do it together!" said Scootaloo.

"We might even get our cutie marks for it!" said Apple Bloom.

The four crusaders bumped their hooves together triumphantly.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PLAY PRODUCERS!" they said in unison. "TUTTURU~~!"

"Sometimes, Rarity burns me with cigarettes," added Sweetie Belle.

- - -

For the next two weeks, Pyx and her friends worked diligently on their play. Sweetie Belle had suggested using a book from Twilight's library for the story, and Pyx had found a really interesting one. It had been tucked away behind one of the bookshelves, almost as if Mommy Twilight had wanted to keep it hidden from her, but as soon as she read the first few pages, Pyx knew that it would be perfect. A script was hastily written, and soon rehearsals had begun.

"So when am I going to get to see this play of yours?" Twilight asked one morning at breakfast. "I'd sure like to take a look at the script!"

"Oh, um, you can't see it yet, Mommy," said Pyx. "You have to wait until the Spring Festival like everypony else. Tutturu~~!"

Twilight smiled pleasantly.

"Oh, boy! I can't wait!" she said. "Welp, look at the time! You had better get your books together, Pyx! It's almost time to head off to school!"

"Nipah~~!" beamed Pyx, and trotted upstairs.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Twilight grabbed Spike in a magic aura and yanked him across the room.

"WAAAH!" he cried in alarm. "Twilight, what the hell--"

"SHHH!" hissed Twilight into his ear. "Don't let Pyx hear you!"

"Uh...okay..." he said cautiously. "But, seriously, Twilight--"

"It's gone, Spike!" she hissed.

"Uh...what's gone?"

[i]"IT'S GONE, SPIKE!"[/i]

"You mean the last thread of your sanity?"

"No, Spike! My book on the Elements of Harmony! It's gone!"

Spike struggled, waving his arms and legs until finally he broke out of Twilight's aura. He fell to the floor and dusted himself off.

"So?" he asked. "I thought you'd read that one already."

"I [i]have[/i] read it; that's not the point! This morning I wanted to look something up in there, and I couldn't find it! The book is just [i]gone[/i], Spike!"

"Is that all that's bothering you?"

"What, do you know where it is?"

"Yeah," he said.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.

"Pyx took it."

"WHAT?!?"

Her relief evaporated.

"Yeah," continued Spike. "I overheard her and her friends talking about it last week. They were in the Library trying to think up a story for their play, and Sweetie Belle suggested they grab one of your books. Then Pyx found one that she thought sounded interesting, and they all agreed it was perfect."

"WHAT?!? Spike, how could you let them do that?!? And why didn't you tell me?!?"

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't think you'd mind. You let Pyx borrow your books all the time!"

"Obviously, I don't want her to borrow [i]that[/i] one!"

"Why not? Wait a minute, does this have something to do with your whole crazy Nightmare Moon thing? I keep telling you, Twilight, you need to let that go!"

Unfortunately, Twilight no longer seemed to be listening to him. She was pacing back and forth around the library, muttering to herself. She uncorked a nearby bottle of Pone's Farm, and started taking swigs as she paced.

"I've got to get that book away from her!" she muttered. "No, wait! It's too late for that; she's probably already read it! But wait, the [i]real[/i] issue is that if she puts on that play, it's just going to make everypony think of Nightmare Moon! And who's playing Nightmare Moon in this play, anyway?!? If Pyx plays Nightmare Moon, they're all just going to see how Nightmare Moony she really is! And if Celestia sees all that Nightmare Mooning going on, then she's going to--"

"Bye, Mommy!"

Pyx had descended the stairs, her bookbag slung across her back. Her horn glowed, and the front door of the library swung open.

"I'm heading to school now!" she called. "Tuturru~~!"

"Bye, sweetie," said Twilight absent-mindedly.

Then, a second later, she realized what had just happened.

"WAIT!!!" she called out, just as the door slammed shut.

"Let her go, Twilight!" said Spike. "Besides, it's too late. The Ponyville Spring Festival is tomorrow, remember? The class has been having full rehearsals of that play for days now. Everypony has already seen it. Everypony at the school, anyway."

"It's not the school I'm worried about!" said Twilight. "[i]Celestia[/i] hasn't seen it yet, but she's going to be attending the Festival! She hasn't even [i]met[/i] Pyx yet, and if the first time she sees her is in a play about Nightmare Moon, then--"

"Twilight! Seriously! You need to relax!" said Spike.

"I'd [i]love[/i] to relax, Spike!" snapped Twilight. "But I can't. And do you know why? Because if Pyx performs that play tomorrow night, Princess Celestia is going to send her to the moon!!"

Spike sighed heavily.

"Twilight," he said. "Nopony is getting sent to the moon! You're getting all worked up over nothing!"

Unfortunately, Twilight was no longer listening to him.

"I've got to think of a way to stop that play!" she muttered.

She took a long, long draught of Pone's Farm.

- - -

"Alright, let's go over what we know."

Detectives Friday and McSpade were seated opposite each other in a corner booth at Sugar Cube Corner. Friday was sipping a coconut-cream cinnamon oat bran choco-mint strawberry-rhubarb custard-filled banana nut shake with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, four marshmallows, and dusted with rainbow-colored sprinkles. McSpade was meanwhile enjoying a double-fudge caramel-coated sugar-plum cookie-dusted molasses-coated deep-fried banana-split sundae with almonds and craisins.

Both detectives had started their meal with a pot of coffee, which naturally had been served with partially hydrogenated non-dairy whipped topping, chocolate-cream-drizzle-fudge sauce, black licorice, red sprinkles, and a Maraschino cherry. However, McSpade had also ordered a molten-fudge coated banana-whipped vanilla-bean cream-covered nut-encrusted cherry-custard-filled bear claw, which he had eaten before his sundae.

The pink earth pony who had been waiting on them approached their table.

"How are we doing, boys?" she asked. "Can I get you any more raisin-flavored licorice-scented bubblegum fudge cream sauce, or maybe some deep-fried doughnut-breaded chocolate-cream-covered mint muffins?"

"No thanks, doll," said Friday. "Although I could use a little more milk-chocoate vanilla-sprinkled partially-caramelized coconut cream for my fig-stuffed pudding-coated cotton-candy-sprinkled strawberry cream surprise cake, whenever you get a chance."

"Yoooooooooooooou got it~~!" cried the earth pony merrily, and she pranced off into the kitchen, singing to herself like a ninny.

"Anyway," said McSpade. "Let's go over what we know."

"Right," agreed Friday.

"Toxicology report came up clean on both fillies, except for Silver Spoon, who tested positive for heroin and crack cocaine. However, I think we can rule out poison or overdose."

"Right," agreed Friday.

"Most likely cause of death was the 37 stab wounds, 68 stab wounds, and multiple blunt force trauma sustained by Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara respectively."

"Right," agreed Friday. "I think we can also safely conclude that there was no sexual motive to the crime."

"Naturally," said McSpade. "Although Diamond Tiara was violated multiple times with what appears to have been a pineapple, the motive for the murder does not appear to have been sexual. So: what are we left with?"

"Based on the evidence found at the crime scene and the condition of the bodies, the perpetrator was likely either a single unicorn, or a highly organized and extremely vicious team of raccoons," said Friday.

"I think we can safely rule out the raccoons."

"Yeah, I looked into their alibi and it checks out."

"Right," said McSpade. "So, that means we're looking for a unicorn, with both the means to kill and the motivation to want Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon dead."

"Probably a foal," added Friday. "Seeing as how there were no adult hoof-prints found at the scene."

"Right," agreed McSpade.

"So," went on Friday. "How many foals in Ponyville would have a motive to kill Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?"

"A lot of them, actually. But only one who was in the Everfree Forest on the night of the murder."

"Twilight Sparkle's weird little cousin-daughter."

"Right. Pyx Trebuchet. Multiple eyewitnesses confirmed that she was a regular target for Spoon and Tiara's bullying. We also have an eyewitness who can place her in the woods at the time of the murder."

"There's also the piece of torn leopard-print cloth we found in the clearing."

"And the other one we found lodged halfway down Silver Spoon's trachea."

"And the word 'nipah' carved into Diamond Tiara's left butt cheek."

"Right. Also, I've been meaning to ask: what exactly does 'nipah' mean, anyway?" asked McSpade.

"Can't say as I know," admitted Friday. "But there's one thing I [i]do[/i] know: Pyx Trebuchet is the Nightmare Mooniest looking filly I've ever laid eyes on, in all my years on the force."

"We're not on the force," McSpade reminded him. "We're private detectives."

"Oh yeah, that's right."

"And anyway, forget about all that Nightmare Moon stuff; I keep telling you it's a lot of hooey."

"It ain't hooey, and I aim to prove it ain't hooey."

"It [i]is[/i] hooey, and if you keep it up, the chief is gonna have your badge for it."

"We don't have badges; we're private detectives."

"Oh yeah. Well, never mind about all that. In any case, can we agree that Pyx Trebuchet looks good for this?"

"Absolutely. Also, I ran a background check on Twilight Sparkle's family."

"And?"

"Get this: not only is Pyx not her daughter, she's not even her cousin. Twilight Sparkle doesn't have any cousins."

"Well doesn't that just beat all?"

"You're darn tootin'."

"So what do you think?" asked McSpade. "Should we bring her in?"

"Yeah. We'll do it tomorrow night, at the play."

"Sounds good. For no reason, we will wait until tomorrow night and apprehend her at the play her class is performing."

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

"Say, doll," said Friday, flagging down the pink earth pony as she trotted by. "Could I get a little more maple cream cheese cinnamon fudge sauce for my powdered doughnut pancake surprise?"

# Chapter Twelve: Twilight Sparkle Still Drinks Too Much

"BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!" screamed Pyx.

It was the night of the Ponyville Spring Festival. At the park in the center of town, ponies were gathering around a makeshift stage that had been erected earlier that day. Behind the stage, the foals of Ponyville Elementary were getting into costume and giving their scripts a last read, in preparation for the play they were about to put on. However, back at the tree library, the star of the play stood facing off against her mother or cousin or whatever, who had just delivered an unwelcome and baffling bit of news.

"Come on, Twilight!" said Spike, standing off to the side with his bubble pipe in his mouth. "You're being even less reasonable than usual."

Twilight, however, didn't budge. She stood firmly in front of the door, holding it shut with her aura. In front of her Pyx gritted her teeth, looking to either side, trying to see if there was a way around.

Then, suddenly, Pyx smiled. Her little horn crackled, and she vanished suddenly into thin air. However, Twilight was unperturbed. A moment later Pyx reappeared, her face triumphant until she realized she was standing in the exact same spot. Now it was Twilight's turn to smile, though there was little mirth in it.

"Your little teleportation spell won't work, I'm afraid," she said. "I cast a protective barrier around the entire tree."

"But WHY, Mommy?!?" shouted Pyx. "Why can't I be in the play desu?"

Twilight sighed heavily. The look of hurt and betrayal on Pyx's face was worse than anything. She felt as if her heart was being stung by five hundred bees. However, she knew that this was something she would have to endure, because something something Nightmare Moon.

"I can't tell you why," she said, a sad expression on her face. "I'm really sorry Pyx, but you just can't be in it."

"But WHY?!??!" Pyx shouted again. "It doesn't make any sense desu! My friends and I worked so hard on that play desu! They're all counting on me desu! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN DESU?!?!?!?!?!"

"Twilight..." began Spike.

"Shut it, Spike," snapped Twilight. "You're not helping."

It was pretty uncharacteristic of Spike to take Pyx's side in an argument. She didn't know why he had chosen now of all times to do it, but it only added to her anger and sadness. She felt as if a thousand angry bees were stabbing her heart with bitter stingers of betrayal.

"Look, Pyx," she said. "I know you worked hard on that play, and you really wanted to be in it. But there are times when Mommy has to say no. You're just going to have to trust me when I say that this is what's best for you."

"Shut up!" cried Pyx angrily. "You're not even my Mommy anyway!!"

Twilight recoiled as if she'd been stung in the heart by two thousand bees.

"Don't say that, Pyx," she said, tears in her eyes.

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!" screamed Pyx at the top of her lungs. "You never were my Mommy, desu! You just found me and started calling yourself my Mommy desu! YOU WERE NEVER MY MOMMY!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO MY MOMMY IS, BUT IT ISN'T YOU DESU!!!!!!!"

Twilight felt tears welling up.

"Please, Pyx," she went on, her voice quavering. "One day, you'll realize that this was all for the best..."

[b][i]"WHY?!?"[/i][/b]

Twilight and Spike both took several steps backward in surprise. Pyx's scream sounded like the wail of a banshee, ethereal and terrible. Her glasses suddenly exploded, the spell broken. Her reptilian eyes glowed with fury and some alien power. Her mane, too, began to glow, floating and writhing about her head like a nest of serpents.

Pyx took a menacing step forward, and Twilight found herself shrinking back against the wall.

[i]"Why can't I be in the play?!?"[/i] demanded Pyx. Her voice was no longer hers; she sounded like a creature from the depths of Tartarus itself. Her eyes blazed.

Twilight shook her head and recovered her courage.

"BECAUSE OF THIS!!" she shouted. "BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU ARE!!!"

Pyx came to a halt midstep and blinked. The cold light in her eyes was suddenly gone.

"Because of...what...I am...desu?" she asked. Her voice was her own again. "What...what do you mean?"

Twilight smiled sadly, and shook her head.

"I found Peewee," she said.

Pyx looked confused.

"Who?"

"I found Peewee," Twilight repeated.

"Who is Peewee?"

"Twilight--" Spike interjected, but she ignored him.

"I found him in the garbage disposal," said Twilight.

"I don't...I don't remember who that is desu..." Pyx stammered.

"Nopony does," said Twilight. "But that didn't give you the right to kill him and stuff him in the garbage disposal."

"Twilight--" Spike began again, but nopony was listening to him.

Pyx stood, blinking back tears and looking confused.

"You have powers, Pyx," continued Twilight, a little more gently. "I don't know how or why, but you have powerful magic inside you. Magic that you can't always control. And until we figure out how to control it, there are going to be times when you are just going to have to listen to me, and trust that I know what's best for you. Like those times when I make you put on glasses, or hide in the basement all day. Those things are all for your own good, Pyx."

Pyx was trembling.

"SHUT UP!! I HATE YOU DESU!!!" she screamed all of a sudden, her eyes wet with tears.

And with that, she turned and ran into the basement, slamming the door behind her. Twilight stood there in silence, staring at the basement door, her heart aching as though it had been stung by five million bees.

Spike blew a large bubble from his pipe and watched it float lazily across the room.

"That went well," he said.

- - -

Cheerilee paced anxiously backstage, once again scanning the milieu of students who were gathered about, putting final touches on their costumes and practicing their lines. There was still no sign of her.

"Sweetie Belle!" she called out to the little white unicorn as she passed by.

Sweetie turned.

"Yes, Miss Cheerilee?"

"Have you seen Pyx yet?"

"No, I haven't," she said. "Is something wrong?"

Cheerilee looked anxiously at the clock on the wall.

"Well, it's almost showtime," she said. "If Pyx doesn't get here soon, we're going to have to start without her."

Sweetie Belle looked concerned.

"We [i]can't[/i] start without her!" she protested. "She's playing the lead role!"

"I know, but..."

"She wrote it! It's her play!"

"That's true," admitted Miss Cheerilee nervously. "I wonder where she could be..."

Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted as two stallions in grey suits and fedoras entered the backstage area.

"Excuse me, ma'am," said the taller one. "My name is Pony-Joe Friday, and this is my partner Horse-Pun McSpade. We were wondering if we could speak with one of your students for a moment."

Cheerilee took the card that McSpade extended and read it, frowning.

"You're detectives? What is this about?" she demanded.

"We just need to speak with one of your students for a moment," Friday repeated.

"You [i]do[/i] have a Pyx Trebuchet in your class, don't you ma'am?" asked McSpade.

Cheerilee and Sweetie Belle glanced nervously at each other.

"I'm afraid that Pyx isn't here at the moment," said Cheerilee. "Would you mind telling me what this is about?"

Instead of answering, the two detectives exchanged a brief look, and then nodded to the teacher.

"If she stops by, please let us know," said Friday, and the two of them turned abruptly and left.

Cheerilee turned to Sweetie Belle, who was looking up at her anxiously.

"Sweetie Belle," she said. "Would you mind running down to Twilight's library to see if you can find out what's keeping Pyx? I'll see if I can stall for time."

"Sure, Miss Cheerilee!" said Sweetie Belle, and she took off at a gallop.

Cheerilee watched her go, a knot forming in her belly. Then, she turned around and cleared her throat.

"Excuse me, Snips? Snails?" she called out.

The two colts trotted forward.

"Yes, Miss Cheerilee?" asked Snails.

"Do you two remember that terrible magic act you did at last month's talent show?"

The two colts looked at each other, and then smiled and nodded.

"Great," said Cheerilee. "How would you like to be our opening act?"

- - -

There were no lights in the gloomy basement, but enough moonlight filtered in through the little window to illuminate the earthen walls. Pyx sat on the floor, her horn aglow, glumly bouncing a little red ball back and forth. Suddenly, the upstairs door creaked open, and lamplight flooded in.

"Go away, Mommy," said Pyx flatly, without turning her head. She bounced the ball again.

"Uh, it's me," said a more-or-less masculine voice.

Pyx glanced over her shoulder as Spike descended the stairs, shutting the door behind him.

"What do you want?" she said, turning to face the wall again.

"Look, uh..." he trailed off, not quite sure what to say.

Pyx said nothing, and continued to bounce her ball.

Spike watched her for a moment, and then began dragging some boxes and pushing them up against the wall underneath the window. Pyx watched him curiously. The ball stopped bouncing.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What do you think I'm doing?" said Spike.

He pushed the last barrel into place, and climbed up the stack until he could reach the latch of the window.

"Come on," he said. "Climb up. I'll give you a boost."

Pyx gave him a curious look, then shrugged and trotted over the makeshift staircase.

"Twilight's spell doesn't block me, so as long as I'm the one who opens the window, you should be able to get out and back in again," continued Spike. "If you hurry, you can probably make it to the park before the play starts."

"What about Mommy?" asked Pyx as she scrambled up.

"Don't worry about her," said Spike. "She usually blacks out around this time anyway."

"Mommy drinks too much," said Pyx, clambering up to Spike's level.

"She really does," agreed Spike.

The two of them laughed. Spike put his hands down, and boosted Pyx up so she could crawl through the window. Once she was outside, she turned around.

"Why are you helping me desu?" she asked.

Spike looked a little embarassed.

"Uh, well," he began. "You remember that thing that Twilight yelled at you about? About putting Peewee down the garbage disposal? I...uh...I know you didn't do it."

"How do you know desu?"

"Uh, well...because...that one was my bad. You see, Peewee was this bird that I met on this one adventure that I had. I adopted him as a pet, but after that we all kind of forgot he even existed. Life just kind of went on, you know? And...well, I wasn't feeding him, and then one day I noticed this weird smell..."

He cleared his throat and looked away.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. Twilight thought you murdered him, but you didn't. He died of natural causes, and I'm sticking to that story. So I'm letting you out. Just don't tell her I did, okay? Believe it or not, she really is trying to do what she thinks is best for you...in her own...way...kind of...I guess."

Pyx nodded enthusiastically.

"I won't tell," she said. "Nipah~~!"

"Oh yeah, I also brought you another pair of enchanted glasses. Can't have you running around town with those weird-looking eyes, after all."

Pyx bent forward, and Spike put the glasses on her face. There was a soft flash of magic, and once again her eyes looked like those of any other filly.

"Be careful with these," said Spike. "The box is kinda running low."

"I will desu~~!" said Pyx.

"Anyway, you'd better get out of here while you still can," said Spike. "If you don't hurry they're going to start without you."

Pyx nodded, and turned to go.

"Break a leg, Pyx!" Spike called after her.

She stopped dead in her tracks, and turned around.

"What?" asked Spike. "It's just an expression; I didn't mean you should actually break a leg."

"I know desu," said Pyx. "It's not that, it's just..."

"What?"

"...that's the first time you've ever called me Pyx before."

Spike's cheeks reddened a bit.

"So?" he demanded, quickly looking at the ground.

Pyx grinned.

"I'm just thinking that maybe you like me a little better now! Nipah~~!"

"Yeah, well, don't get a big head about it, Trebuchet," Spike muttered. "I still think you're pretty dumb. Just try not to get sent to the moon or anything, okay?"

Pyx grinned wider.

"I won't!" she cried happily. "Sayonnara, Spike-onii-chan! Tutturu~~!"

She turned and galloped away--

--and nearly collided headfirst with Sweetie Belle, who was galloping towards the library.

"Oh, hi Sweetie Belle!" said Pyx, who managed to rear up in time to avoid gouging her friend's eyeball out with her horn. "Tutturu~~!"

"Tutturu~~!" replied Sweetie Belle. "Uh, Pyx, you do know tonight's the play, right?"

"I know!" beamed Pyx. "Mommy Twilight locked me in the basement again! But I got out! Nipaaaaah~~!"

"Oh, okay," said Sweetie Belle. "Nipah to you too, then. Anyway, we need to get going! Miss Cheerilee says if we don't get there soon, they're going to have to start without us!"

And with that, the two fillies galloped off in the direction of the park.

- - -

[i]*BANG BANG BANG*[/i]

Twilight awoke with a snort, peeling her face off of the book that was spread open in front of her. She'd drank even more than usual tonight, and being awakened when she was still half-drunk was not a good feeling. Why did she drink so much tonight? Then it all came back to her: Pyx. She'd had a fight with Pyx.

[i]*BANG BANG BANG*[/i]

She glanced at the door to the basement. It was shut securely; the filly was probably still sulking down there. The banging was coming from the front door.

"Alright, hold your friggin' horses," Twilight snapped, and stood up to open the door. On the front porch stood the two detectives who had been by a few days ago: Friday and McSpade.

"We're sorry to disturb you so late, ma'am," said Friday.

"What's this about?" said Twilight suspiciously.

"We'd like to speak with your cousin Pyx," said McSpade. "I don't suppose you could go and get her for us, could you?"

Twilight's eyes narrowed.

"Why?" she asked. "What's this about?"

"Could you please just get your cousin for us?" said Friday, instead of answering her questions.

"...Pyx is grounded," said Twilight after a moment. "I don't think it's a good idea for her to speak with you tonight. Come back another time."

She began to close the door, but Friday quickly stuck his hoof inside.

"Could you please just go get her?" he asked.

"We know she's home," McSpade added. "She wasn't at the park."

"Yeah," said Friday. "How many more places could she be? That is, unless she's out in the Everfree Forest committing another murder."

That did it. Twilight's horn flared, and suddenly, to his great surprise, Pony-Joe Friday found himself teleported back a few feet. Before he could react, Twilight had slammed and bolted the door.

"Now you've done it!" snapped McSpade. "Now she's never gonna let us inside to see the kid!"

"She doesn't have to," said Friday. "Look!"

He pointed at the open basement window with a hoof. McSpade curiously went over to it, poked his head inside and drew a breath, then pulled out again.

"What did you see?" asked Friday. "She down there?"

McSpade shook his head.

"I don't think so," he said. "I don't think she's here at all."

"So if she's not here, and she's not at the school play..."

They both turned to face each other, an expression of unutterable horror on both of their faces.

"By Celestia's mane, she's going to kill again!" said Friday.

"Does her bloodlust know no end?" asked McSpade.

"Come on!" said Friday. "We don't know who her next victim will be, but we know where she's going!"

"Wait, we do?"

"Of course! Think, McSpade: where did the last murder take place?"

"Uh...the Everfree Forest?"

"Right, but [i]where[/i] in the Everfree Forest?"

McSpade thought about it for a moment.

"That clearing, with the old altar," he said.

"Right," confirmed Friday. "The altar to Nightmare Moon."

McSpade groaned.

"For Celestia's sake, Friday, now is not the time--"

"Listen," snapped Friday. "Either I'm wrong and it's all horsefeathers, or I'm right, and that filly is about to drag another of her classmates off to be sacrificed to a pagan god. Do you really want to take that risk?"

McSpade swallowed, and shook his head.

"No, I suppose you've got a point. And your instincts have been right before. Alright, let's go. Meanwhile, I'll put out an A.P.B. in case she's still in town somewhere."

"We're private detectives, McSpade. We can't do that."

"Oh, right. Well, let's just go then."

And the two of them galloped off into the woods.

- - -

Snips and Snails bowed. A few ponies in the crowd applauded politely, but most of them were fidgeting and looking bored.

[i]"When is the play supposed to start?"[/i] one mare whispered.

Oblivious to the crowd's indifference, Snips and Snails proceeded with the last bit of their magic act.

"And now, for our final trick!" said Snips. Several ponies breathed an audible sigh of relief at the word 'final.' "My assistant Snails will make this daikon radish...[i]disappear![/i]"

Snails somehow managed to unhinge his jaw, like a snake. Slowly, inch by inch, Snips was able to push an enormous daikon radish down his friend's throat. The horrible gagging sound was indescribable but...somehow...it just...kept...going. Deeper and deeper and deeper. The crowd watched in slackjawed amazement. Cheerilee stood backstage, an anguished hoof pressed against her forehead. This act was even worse the second time around. She didn't want to watch, and yet she couldn't look away.

Suddenly, there came a commotion as two fillies galloped into the backstage area.

"Miss Cheerilee!" cried Sweetie Belle, panting and nearly out of breath. "I found Pyx!"

"Nii...*huff*...pah..." said Pyx.

"Oh, thank Celestia," muttered the teacher. "Alright, Pyx, hurry up and get into costume! I'll get Snips and Snails off the stage!"

- - -

"Nononononononononoooo....." Twilight muttered to herself as she galloped along the road. She was still half-drunk, and several times she almost broke her leg on the uneven road, but she kept pressing forward.

Immediately after she'd thrown the detectives out, she'd gone downstairs to check on Pyx. She'd assumed the filly would still be mad at her, but she could no longer afford to be patient; she needed to hide her somewhere. However, when she'd seen the empty basement and the open window, she'd realized what had happened.

She knew that there was only one place that Pyx could have run off too. If the filly wound up playing Nightmare Moon in front of the Princesses that would be bad enough, but if those detectives found her first...she galloped faster and faster.

She came at last to the park. A wooden stage had been constructed in the center of the grassy space, along with a few rows of wooden benches for ponies to sit on. Up on stage, a pair of colts were...doing some kind of weird erotic performance art. Twilight had seen that sort of thing often enough in Canterlot, but it was a bit avant-garde for Ponyville. Briefly she wondered what Cheerilee had been thinking. Then, she realized that she had more important things to worry about. She had to find Pyx!

She took off at a gallop once again, but before she was halfway to the stage, a towering white mare suddenly blocked her path.

"Twilight, my student!" cried Princess Celestia, gracefully pulling her into an embrace as they collided. "It feels like it's been ages!"

"Oh...*pant*...Princess...*pant*...Celestia..." wheezed Twilight. "I'm...uh..."

"Salutations, Twilight," came a second voice. Twilight turned and saw Celestia's sister, Princess Luna, approaching them from the other side.

"Hi....*pant*.....Princess Luna......*pant*......"

"Come, Twilight," said Celestia, wrapping an enormous wing around the smaller unicorn and ushering her into the seating area. Luna fell into step on the other side. "You can sit with us. I would love to hear how your lessons in Ponyville have been going."

Twilight looked anxiously over her shoulder towards the stage. She needed to find a way to get back there, but she couldn't risk being rude to the Princess. Helplessly, she allowed herself to be led back to the royal seating area, in a special raised pavilion that stood behind the benches.

"We understand that you have a cousin staying with you of late," said Luna, sitting down on Twilight's right.

Celestia sat down to her left.

"I must confess, I did not know that you had a cousin," she said. "My Royal Sister and I are both very much looking forward to meeting her."

Twilight forced a weak smile. One of her eyes was starting to twitch. Celestia's brow furrowed in concern.

"Er, Twilight," she whispered. "You seem a bit...distracted. Is everything all right?"

"Oh, everything's just [i]swell,[/i] Princess!" said Twilight, a little too enthusiastically. Celestia noticed that her mane was in disarray and she was sweating profusely. Her furrow deepened.

"I'll...get you a pinot grigio," she said, and raised a hoof to summon a nearby drink vendor.

"We'd heard a rumor that your cousin had also written this play, in addition to starring in it!" said Luna pleasantly. "She sounds like quite a talented filly!"

"Oh...she's a little ray of sunshine all right!" said Twilight.

A folded piece of paper floated in front of Twilight's face, held in the dark blue light of Luna's aura. Twilight took it in her own and unfolded it.

It was a play program:

[i][center]

[u]The Captured Shadow[/u]
A Play in Three Acts
by
Pyx Trebuchet

Starring:
[b]Pyx Trebuchet[/b] as [b]Pyx Trebuchet[/b]

Sweetie Belle as The Lady Pilkington
Apple Bloom as The Duchess of Windsor
Scootaloo as The Gentleman Caller

Also Appearing:
Lemon Pledge.........Chimney Sweep #4
Widdershins..........King Henry VIII
Plum Tuckered........Oda Nobunaga
Flying Tart..........Cobra Commander
Twisted Sister.......The Debutante
Littlepip............Astaroth the Destroyer

Written By:
Pyx Trebuchet & Apple Bloom

Original Score By:
Pyx Trebuchet & Gil Evans

Set Design:
Pyx Trebuchet & Scootaloo

Costumes:
Pyx Trebuchet & Sweetie Belle
(courtesy of Rarity's Carousel Boutique, located in the heart of Downtown Ponyville in the Garment District, come on down for the hottest new fashions at low low prices)

Craft Services:
Pyx Trebuchet & Basil Duke Lee

Executive Producers:
The Cutie Mark Crusaders

[/center][/i]

"Wow, Pyx really put a lot of work into this," muttered Twilight to herself.

"What was that, Twilight?" asked Celestia.

"Um, well..." began Twilight.

As luck would have it, at that moment Cheerilee stepped out onto the stage and asked for silence, and Twilight was at least spared from answering any more questions. After the teacher's brief introduction, the curtain was pulled back.

The stage lights came on, illuminating a crudely-drawn cardboard set. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, wearing ostentatious-looking dresses decorated with sequins and sparkles, trotted out. Sweetie Belle entered from the opposite side of the stage, and they drew to a halt.

"Hence!" said Sweetie Belle, glancing nervously at the audience. "Uh, home, you idle creatures, get you home desu! Is this...um...a holiday? What, know you not, being...uh..."

She trailed off, glanced at the audience, and then looked helplessly at her two friends.

[i]"Bein' mechanical,"[/i] whispered Apple Bloom.

"Oh, right," said Sweetie Belle. "Being mechanical, you ought not walk upon a laboring day without...without the sign of your profession desu? Speak...uh...what trade art thou?"

"Why, sir, a carpenter!" said Scootaloo, a little too loudly. "Tutturu~~!"

Twilight glanced over at Celestia, who was watching with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Your cousin wrote this?" she whispered.

"Um......yes?"

"It's...interesting," said the Princess.

Twilight smiled weakly and turned back toward the stage. Where the hell was that pinot grigio, anyway?

- - -

Four hours later, the crowd sat in rapt attention, watching the scene play out on stage.

"Keep away from me!!" cried Scootaloo. "I don't believe in you anymore desu!!"

A shot rang out, accompanied by a small pyrotechnic effect. The audience jumped. Scootaloo fell on her back, her tongue lolling out.

"But I've got the bullets!!" screamed Pyx. "The gun was empty desu!!!"

She broke down, sobbing over Scootaloo's dead deceased corpse.

"W-what did you have to do that for?" she said between sobs. "Tut-tutturu~~!"

Apple Bloom came running in from stage left. She almost tripped over the hem of her dress, and then stood defensively before Pyx and the fallen Scootaloo.

"Leave her alone!" she cried, blocking the advance of a group of fillies dressed as police officers. "She's mine! I'll take care o'her! Nee-pah!"

"It's all right!" said Sweetie Belle, motioning the officers back. "It's all right desu!"

Apple Bloom knelt down next to Pyx.

"You couldn't help it, Pyx," she said. "You did everythin' a trebuchet could do. Nee-pah."

"Nipah," said Pyx quietly.

Apple Bloom put a reassuring hoof on her shoulder, and the two of them rose.

"Stand up, Pyx. I'll stand up with ya. Let me try to be as strong as you want me to be, desu."

Pyx wiped the tears from her eyes. For just a moment, the glasses slipped off her muzzle, and she quickly pushed them back up again. She looked sadly down at Scootaloo.

"She depended on me desu," she said.

"And you can depend on me desu," said Apple Bloom. "Trust me. Whatever comes, we'll face it together, I swear. Nee-pah!"

Pyx smiled bravely.

"Tutturu~~!" she said.

"Toot-a-roo, Pyx," said Apple Bloom, smiling back. "Toot-a-roo."

They embraced, and the curtain fell. The audience erupted into thunderous applause.

Twilight Sparkle looked back and forth between the two Princesses, both of whom were in tears and applauding hysterically.

"Bravo!" cried Celestia, clapping her hooves together and whistling. "BRAVO!!!"

Twilight heaved a sigh of relief.

# Chapter Thirteen: Clair de Lune

"Way to go, Pyx!"

"You're the best desu!"

"That was awesome!!"

"NIPAH!!!"

Pyx sat on her haunches, smiling nervously as her classmates crowded around her, praising her to the heavens. She was a little relieved when Cheerilee finally approached, shooing them all away.

"That was just wonderful!" the teacher beamed. "I had no idea you were this creative, Pyx!"

Pyx smiled wearily. She was exhausted, but she felt wonderful. Everything had gone perfectly.

"Tutturu~~!" she said.

"Where did you get the idea for that story?" asked Lemon Pledge, the little yellow pegasus filly who had played Chimney Sweep #4.

"From one of my Mommy's books desu!" beamed Pyx.

"What was the book called?"

"Yes, what [i]was[/i] that book called?" came a familiar voice.

Pyx wheeled around. In an instant, all of the exhilaration drained out of her, and a knot formed in her stomach. In the doorway of the little backstage room stood a familiar purple unicorn.

"M-mommy..." began Pyx nervously.

However, she soon realized that her fear was unwarranted. Instead of chastising her, Twilight ran up and embraced her.

"Your play was great, Pyx," she whispered into her ear, hugging her tight. Pyx hesitated a moment, and then hugged her back.

"I'm sorry I escaped from the basement, Mommy," she whispered.

"That's okay, Pyx," said Twilight. "I'm sorry I locked you down there this time. I was wrong to do that on this one occasion. I guess we were both being a little bit silly. And as it turned out, I had nothing to worry about in the first place. Your play wasn't even [i]about[/i] Nightmare Moon!"

"Who's Nightmare Moon?" asked Pyx.

"Nopony, Pyx," said Twilight, hugging her as tight as she could. "Nopony at all."

Twilight released her, and sat back on her haunches.

"But I have to ask: what book of mine was your play based on?"

"Oh, right," said Pyx. She went to the corner where she'd left her saddlebag, and rummaged around inside. A moment later, she held up a book in her horn aura.

"Tutturu~~!" she said.

Twilight took it from her and read the title out loud:

[i]"Autumn's Estrus,[/i] by Rod Hardhoof."

Her face turned a deep shade of red.

"Where did you get this?!?" she demanded.

Pyx looked taken aback.

"I found it in the library desu!" she said. "I...I didn't think you'd mind if I took it, since it was stuffed all the way back behind the other books on the shelf!"

"Miss Cheerilee said there was a lot of stuff in there we couldn't put in the play," added Sweetie Belle. "So we had to change the story a lot. That's probably why you didn't recognize it."

Twilight's face reddened further. She wheeled around to glare at Spike, who was also there for some reason.

"Spike!" she cried. "You said it was [i]The Elements of Harmony[/i] that she borrowed!"

Spike smirked, his arms folded across his chest.

"No I didn't," he said. "All I said was that Pyx borrowed one of your books. I never said which one."

"Then where in Equestria did my copy of [i]Elements of Harmony[/i] go?!?"

"Uh, wasn't it in your bookbag?" asked Spike. "You know, the one you left in the Everfree Forest that night and then forgot to go back for?"

Twilight groaned, and began smacking her face repeatedly against the floor.

"Excuse us, Miss Sparkle."

At the sound of the new voice, everypony stopped what they were doing and turned to face the intruder. The two detectives from before stepped into the room. Twilight moved defensively in front of Pyx.

"What do you two want?" she demanded.

McSpade glanced briefly at Friday, and then cleared his throat.

"We just wanted to stop by and let you know that your...eh...cousin...is no longer a pony of interest."

Twilight blinked.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," replied McSpade. "A suspect has been arrested for the murders of Miss Diamond Tiara and Miss Silver Spoon."

"Really?" asked Twilight again. "That's...wonderful...I guess. Who did you arrest?"

"We don't make arrests, ma'am, we're private detectives," said Friday. "However, we went to the Everfree Forest earlier this evening to follow up on a lead. When we got there, the horse-police were in the process of apprehending the suspect."

"Who did they arrest?" asked Cheerilee.

"Steven Magnet," said Friday.

"Steven Magnet?" repeated Twilight.

"Yes. He's a big purple sea serpent who lives in a cave by the river. Really annoying; always going on about his mustache."

"I...think I remember him," said Twilight.

"Horse-police searched his cave and discovered a pineapple that was linked to the murder," said McSpade. "The suspect confirmed that the pineapple belonged to him, although he claims it had been stolen on the night the murder took place. However, we can't confirm his alibi. Our theory is that he snuck up behind the fillies and bashed them both over the head with rocks, repeatedly and with enough force to detatch their retinas. As they stumbled around blind and disoriented, he proceeded to stab them over and over with a sharpened stick--"

"Well, we can't thank you enough for the work you've done," interrupted Cheerilee quickly. "We're just happy that we can all put this [i]horrible[/i] business behind us. Isn't that right, class?"

The foals all looked at each other and nodded slowly.

Friday and McSpade tipped their fedoras.

"It's all in a day's work, ma'am," said Friday.

"Be sure to give us a call if you ever need anything investigated," said McSpade, passing her a card. "Our rates are very reasonable."

And with that, the two of them turned around and left.

Twilight and Cheerilee exchanged a look. Cheerilee cleared her throat.

"Well," she said. "It sure has been an eventful day!"

"You can say that again!" said Twilight, and everypony laughed. "Hey, I've got an idea! What do you say we all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes? My treat!"

"Tutturu~~!" cheered the foals in unison.

- - -

The moon was hanging high in the sky. Twilight, Pyx and Spike walked slowly and comfortably home, their bellies stuffed with frosty chocolate milkshakes.

"Ugh," groaned Spike. "My belly hurts..."

Twilight giggled.

"That's because it's stuffed with frosty chocolate milkshakes!" she said pleasantly.

"Uggghh..." groaned Spike again. "I'll never eat frosty chocolate milkshakes again......"

"A likely story!" chirped Twilight pleasantly.

Pyx trotted behind them, enjoying their banter. Truth be told, her belly also hurt due to being stuffed with frosty chocolate milkshakes. However, she didn't mind. She didn't mind at all.

She took a deep breath and looked around. It was a warm, pleasant, beautiful night in early summer. The sky was a canopy of dazzling stars; the air smelled of lilac and honeysuckle and jasmine. A few lingering fireflies still floated lazily in the darkness.

Pyx was happy to be alive. For the first time since that night in the woods, she felt that everything was going to be okay.

They rounded the corner. Pyx could see the tree library at the end of the street. She squinted. It was dark, but it looked like there was some kind of chariot parked out front. She wondered who it belonged to.

Suddenly, Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, her entire body stiff. Pyx looked up at her. It seemed that she had noticed the chariot as well.

"Mommy?" she asked. Twilight didn't answer.

She and Spike exchanged a long, uncomfortable look.

"...maybe she just wants to chat?" offered Spike.

"I sure hope so," murmured Twilight. She didn't sound very hopeful.

"Well, we'd better go see what she wants, anyway," said Spike. "You don't want to keep her waiting."

"Yeah..."

The three of them approached the library, slowly and with trepidation. The lights inside were all on; somepony had just let themselves in.

Twilight took a deep breath, muttered a brief prayer to some long-forgotten Ponish god, and pushed open the door. Princess Celestia was seated in Spike's easy chair, a cup of tea floating on a saucer in front of her.

"Good evening, Twilight," she said. "I hope you don't mind that I let myself in."

Twilight tried to force a smile. She overshot it by a wide margin, and wound up with a huge, idiotic grin plastered across her face.

"No, not at all!" she cried, a note of hysteria in her voice.

The Princess smiled gracefully, and gestured toward the chair across from her.

"I'm glad," she said. "Please, sit down. We need to talk."

- - -

At Celestia's insistence, Twilight had sent Pyx upstairs to bed. She knew the inquisitive filly would be lurking near the top of the stairs, eavesdropping on everything they said, but there was little she could do about that. Meanwhile, she had sent Spike into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on. For once, he had donned his apron without being asked. Twilight sat in the easy chair across from the Princess, her nerves completely shot. She hoped Spike would have enough sense to put a little something "extra" in her coffee.

"Twilight..." began Princess Celestia. She sighed. "I suppose you know what this is about."

Twilight thought about playing dumb. A million answers to her teacher's question flashed through her mind in rapid succession, each more idiotic than the last. Finally though, she gave up. It was no use lying to the Princess; by the sound of it, she already knew everything.

"It's about Pyx?"

"That's right."

The Princess took a sip of tea.

"Twilight," she said. "There's no sense in beating around the bush. I can sympathize with your...situation."

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"You...can?"

"Of course. We're both mares here. We've all had that...impulse...from time to time."

"Impulse?"

"Oh, yes. You know, the urge. The desire to...*ahem*...procreate."

Twilight reddened a little. This conversation had been bad enough when it was just Rarity; with Celestia it was downright humiliating. She hadn't been this uncomfortable since her mother had given her the "mares and stallions" talk.

The Princess took another sip of tea. She didn't look as though she were enjoying this any more than Twilight was. She cleared her throat again.

"It's perfectly natural," she went on. "However, there are...certain rules that must be followed. I'm sure you remember that incident with Rainbow Dash last year..."

"Princess," interjected Twilight. "I can assure you, this is [i]nothing like[/i] what happened with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. Pyx is--"

"--not your cousin," the Princess finished calmly.

Twilight's face fell. Her ears drooped.

"Right," she said. "She's not my cousin."

"You can't possibly have thought that I wouldn't find this out eventually?"

"No," said Twilight flatly.

"I mean, it's such a simple thing to check," continued the Princess. "The Hall of Records is literally only a few doors down from my private apartments..."

"I know."

"...and I've known your family for generations, after all..."

"I know."

"...I mean, if you had simply come to me from the beginning, this matter would have been so much simpler to handle."

"I kn--wait, what?"

Celestia took another sip of tea.

"It's as I've been saying, Twilight," she went on calmly. "We've all had that impulse from time to time. That 'Mommy' impulse. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Why, I've 'adopted' a few stray fillies myself over the centuries. Of course, eventually I realized that it was much simpler to just open a school and...well, you know the rest I'm sure. But then again, I'm the Princess; I can pretty much do whatever I want. In your situation...I think what you did makes sense enough."

Twilight blinked several times in succession.

"So...wait a minute. You're...not mad about this?"

"Of course not. As I keep saying, we've all had those impulses. It just...would have been much simpler if you'd come to me first."

"I just figured...well, you know...like you said; that thing with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo..."

"That was different," Celestia explained. "Scootaloo isn't an orphan."

"Wait, she's not?"

"No, she has parents."

"Really?"

"Yes. Their names are..." she quickly consulted a small memorandum book. "Snap Shutter and......Mane Allgood."

"Wow," said Twilight. "I had no idea."

"Yes, those are her parents. Of course, they're not very [i]good[/i] parents; in fact, between you and me her entire family is quite terrible, but...they technically exist."

"Oh."

"So as you can see, Rainbow Dash's attempted...adoption...proved to be a bit of a legal snafu."

"I...see. And Pyx?"

"As far as I can tell, there is no record of Pyx even existing."

Twilight's expression brightened.

"So that means I can adopt her?"

Celestia sighed.

"It's as I said. I wish you had come to me about this sooner."

"What...does that mean?"

"The matter is more complicated now. Perhaps I had better let somepony else explain. Bastion, would you come in here please?"

The front door opened, and an arrogant-looking unicorn wearing a shirt and tie stepped into the room.

"Twilight," said Celestia. "This is Bastion Yorsets. He's a professor at my school for gifted unicorns."

"It's a pleasure to finallly meet you, Miss Sparkle," said the unicorn, bowing.

"Wait a minute," said Twilight. "Your name is what?"

"Bastion Yorsets, madam."

"Bastion Yorsets?"

"Correct."

"Wait, is that your real name, or...?"

"It's the name I go by, madam."

"So...let me get this straight. When you were born, and your parents were sitting around thinking up names, they both agreed that Bastion Yorsets was the perfect--"

Bastion Yorsets cleared his throat, looking annoyed.

"Er, Twilight," said Princess Celestia. "Perhaps you should just listen to what Bastion Yorsets has to say."

"I'm sorry, Princess," said Twilight. "It's just, holy jeez. If I had a name like Bastion Yorsets, I would probably--"

"*AHEM*."

Yorsets looked annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Mr...eh...Yorsets," said Twilight. "That was rude of me. Please, go right ahead."

"Very good, madam," he said. "Now then. Do you recall an incident roughly two months ago, when you were abducted by a coven of arcane sorcerers?"

"I remember waking up with a splitting headache and rope burns on all four of my legs," replied Twilight, a little testily. "Beyond that, the evening really wasn't all that memorable."

"Well," Yorsets went on, "Be that as it may, the group that abducted you was actually a nefarious occult circle known as the Order of the New Moon. I won't go into the details, but we believe that the spell that this Order...involved you in...was intended to call forth...an entity. Something not of this world."

Twilight gasped. She turned to Celestia.

"Does this have something to do with..." she glanced up at Pyx, who was peeking down at them from the sleeping loft. She leaned forward and whispered: [i]"Nightmare Moon?"[/i]

Celestia looked puzzled.

"Eh...Nightmare Moon?"

She turned to Yorsets, who only shrugged. Twilight looked back and forth between them. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore, and just blurted it out:

"Haven't you noticed that Pyx looks an awful lot like Nightmare Moon?"

Celestia peered up at the sleeping loft. Pyx immediately ducked down out of sight, but Celestia's aura seized her and levitated her into the air. She floated the filly down and examined her. She turned her around from side to side, looking at her from all angles. She removed the glasses and examined her eyes. She put the glasses back on her. She examined the racing stripe in her mane, making a quick calculation of how fast she could probably go. Then, she returned her to the loft, patted her on the head, turned to Twilight, and shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Twilight, I just don't see it," she said.

Twilight rapidly shook the cobwebs out of her head.

"Look, forget I even mentioned it," she said. She turned back to Yorsets. "Alright, so if this isn't about Nightmare Moon, then what [i]is[/i] it about?"

"Well, madam--"

"Is this about what happened in the Everfree Forest?"

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

"The forest?" she asked. "You mean...when the cult abducted you?"

"No!" cried Twilight. "I mean, the thing with Pyx, what the detectives were here about!"

Yorsets and Celestia exchanged a puzzled look.

"Detectives, madam?" asked Yorsets.

"Yes! Those two guys; I forget their names. Friday, and...Saturday...or something like that."

"They were detectives?" inquired Celestia. "And they were investigating Pyx?"

"Yes! Well, I mean, they [i]were[/i], but then they arrested Steven Magnet..."

"Ah yes, I'd heard that Steven Magnet had been arrested," said Celestia. "I was quite relieved to hear of it."

"I hope they hang the bastard!" said Yorsets.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.

"So you [i]don't[/i] think that Pyx murdered Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?"

Yorsets and Celestia exchanged another puzzled look.

"Wait, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were murdered?" asked the Princess.

Twilight made an exasperated noise in the back of her throat, and shook her head again.

"Look, forget about that part too. It's just that--"

"I say, madam," Yorsets cut in. "This is not nearly as complicated a matter as you're making it. You see, we believe that this filly, the one you call Pyx, is actually demon-spawn that was summoned from an alternate dimension to fulfil some nefarious purpose."

"Wait, what?!?"

"We'd like to take her away for a few days," explained Celestia. "We'll perform some experiments on her, and see if we can ascertain whether or not she's dangerous."

"What kind of experiments?!?" demanded Twilight.

"Oh...the regular kind," said Celestia vaguely. "In any event, if she survives...er...that is to say, if we can determine that she is not a threat to Equestria, we will return her to you relatively unharmed."

Before Twilight could object, Celestia's horn fired up again, and Pyx was once again floated down from the loft, her little legs flailing as she tried in vain to run away. Bastion Yorsets stepped outside for a moment, and returned with a wheeled cage. Celestia placed the squirming filly inside, and Yorsets closed the door and set the bolt in place.

"Mommy! Help me desu!!" cried Pyx.

"PYX!" cried Twilight. She turned to Celestia, her eyes pleading.

"Please, Princess," she begged. "You can't do this!"

Celestia rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Twilight, please stop being so dramatic," she said. "It's only for a couple of days."

"But...Princess..." cried Twilight. "What if...what if I never see her again...?"

"Then I'll take you down to the pound, and you can pick out a new orphan," Celestia assured her. "I promise!"

The front door swung open, and Yorsets began wheeling the cage out of the room.

"MOMMY!!!!"

Pyx pressed her little face against the bars of the cage.

"PYX!!!"

Twilight bolted for the cage, her horn aglow, but Celestia caught her in a force field.

"Now now, Twilight, none of that please," she said.

"PYYYYYYX!!!" cried Twilight, pressing against the translucent wall of the force field, her eyes brimming with tears.

"MOMMEEEEEEE!!" screamed Pyx. Her little horn sparked as she tried to teleport, but the cage had a spell on it or something probably, so she just kept disappearing and reappearing in the same place.

"Hey there ladies, I've got your coffee all ready--"

Spike entered the room in his frilly apron, holding a silver tray. His eyes darted around as he took in the scene.

"Uh, never mind," he said. "I'll just come back later..."

He turned and scuttled quickly back into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Yorsets had finished loading the cage onto Celestia's chariot.

"We're all ready to go, Princess," he said.

"Go ahead, Bastion," said Celestia. "I'll be out in just a moment."

"MOMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" wailed Pyx.

"PYYYYYYYYYYYYYX!!!!!" howled Twilight.

The front door slammed shut, and Twilight could no longer see Pyx, but she could still hear her cries of anguish coming from outside. Tears of unfathomable sadness flowed from her eyeballs like twin waterfalls in the rain.

"...*sniff*...Princess...how could you do this...?" she sobbed. "....*sniff*....Pyx...never hurt a soul...except for those two fillies I guess......and Peewee maybe....."

Princess Celestia cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Er, Twilight," she began. "This may not be the best time to bring this up, but you borrowed some books from the Canterlot Royal Library a few weeks ago, and...they were never returned..."