# HISmSVotM, part 2 # Chapter Six: Friendship is Trickier Than it Looks The bell rang, and all the little fillies and colts trotted outside for recess. So far, Pyx was surprised to discover that she enjoyed school, especially history. She'd really liked the part of Miss Cheerilee's lecture about the evil pegasus queen who had murdered thousands of earth ponies and tried to take over Equestria. She wondered briefly what it might be like to be an evil queen; it sounded like a fun job! A few days ago at breakfast, Mommy Twilight had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, but she hadn't known how to respond at the time. She was a little perplexed by the concept of recess, but once she'd gotten into the groove she discovered she enjoyed that too. Thus far, her life had mostly been spent in a series of rooms and basements, with the outside world existing as an ethereal dimension she only caught brief glimses of while traveling. However, as soon as she started romping about in the sunshine, she realized that it was actually a lot of fun out there! The grass, the sky, the air, the birds, the butterflies--all of it was brand new and full of wonder! Suddenly, a glob of mud hit her in the face. Everything went dark for a second, and then she remembered that she could cast a lot of complicated spells for some reason. Her horn flashed, and the glob of mud vanished to the cornfield, though her glasses were still a bit smudged. "Ooops, sorry about that~~!" The mocking voice came from off to the side and a short distance away, and it was followed by a burst of laughter from two fillies. Pyx turned to see the filly who sat next to her in class, the one called Diamond Tiara, along with another filly whose name she didn't know yet. The newcomer had a silver mane and tail, and she wore glasses, just like her. [i]"Remember, Pyx,"[/i] said Twilight's voice in her head. [i]"You're here to make friends!"[/i] [i]I won't let you down, Mommy![/i] Pyx thought to herself. [i]I'll make friends even if I have to kill everypony in Equestria![/i] "Oh, that's okay!" she said brightly. "I'm sure you didn't mean it! Nipah~~!" Diamond Tiara's front hoof swiped at the mud in front of her in a graceful arc, and another glob hit Pyx in the face. "Sorry about that one, too~~!" said Diamond Tiara. The two fillies laughed again. "That one actually felt like less of an accident," Pyx said. Once again, she was able to teleport most of the mud away, but a bit of it was still smudged on her face and glasses. "You know, I think she's right, Diamond Tiara!" the gray filly said. "You [i]really[/i] should be more careful!" "You're absolutely right, Silver Spoon," Tiara said. "I'm just [i]sooooo[/i] clumsy today! Whoops!" Her hoof swiped at the mud a third time, and Pyx had to teleport another glob off of her face. "Maybe if you tell me where you're trying to aim the mud, I can help direct it!" offered Pyx. "You seem to be having a lot of trouble calculating the trajectory! Tutturu~~!" [i]PLURP.[/i] Another glob of mud hit Pyx in the face. "Well, [i]that[/i] time I was aiming for your stupid, ugly vest!" said Diamond Tiara. "So you're right, my aim is [i]terrible![/i]" They laughed. "Where did you get that vest, anyway?" asked Silver Spoon. "Did you take it off of somepony's pet dog?" "My vest?" said Pyx. "Oh, I got it at Rarity's Carousel Boutique, located in the heart of--DRGRGRRRLRRLMPHH!!" A glob of mud hit her square in the mouth while she was talking. [i]Making friends is trickier than it looks,[/i] thought Pyx. - - - "...and tho the docktor thaid I wathn't ackshually haffing my period, I jutht need to thtop putting my hoof tho far up there," finished Twist. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo exchanged a long, uncomfortable look, and in that moment an unspoken decision was made. "Uh, Twist?" said Scootaloo. "Yeth, Thcootaloo?" The three fillies regarded the prospect member of their club, who was staring back at them politely. She was a pale cream-colored filly, with a curly red mop for a mane and a pair of peppermint sticks for a cutie mark. The sunlight caught in the lenses of her thick glasses, which made the others squint. "Um, here's the thing..." began Scootaloo. The little orange pegasus looked to her friends for help. "We've been doing a lot of thinking," continued Sweetie Belle. "And we've decided that...uh..." "We've decided that you're just not Crusader material," finished Apple Bloom. "Yeah," said Scootaloo. "We're sorry, but you're out of the club." Twist looked back and forth from one filly to the next. They all looked a little uncomfortable, and none of them would meet her gaze. "Any particular reathon?" she asked finally. A small amount of spittle flew out of her mouth every time she lisped. Sweetie Belle lifted a hoof to shield herself from the spray, an annoyed expression on her face. Scootaloo glanced sympathetically in her direction, and then returned her attention to Twist. "Honestly?" said Scoot. "There are a lot of reasons." The other two nodded in agreement. "Thutch ath?" "Well, for one thing," began Apple Bloom, "All of your stories are...kinda gross." "Yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "Also, you spit when you talk." "And your breath...kind of smells like kitty litter," added Scootaloo. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded vigorously. "My Dad thayth that too," said Twist. She breathed lightly into her hoof and sniffed, frowning. The three senior Crusaders exchanged another look. "And anyway," offered Apple Bloom, "You already [i]have[/i] your cutie mark. Not much point in bein' a Cutie Mark Crusader if you've already got a mark." "I gueth that maketh thenth," admitted Twist. "So anyway..." began Scootaloo. "...we've been thinking that..." continued Sweetie Belle. "......it's probably best for everypony if you don't hang around with us anymore." finished Apple Bloom. The other two nodded. "Yeah, it's nothing personal," began Scootaloo. "It's just that..." "...you're kind of..." continued Sweetie Belle. "...a terrible character...so to speak," finished Apple Bloom. The three of them nodded in agreement again. Twist rubbed a hoof underneath her chin and looked off into the distance, lost in thought. Her nose whistled every time she breathed, and Sweetie Belle noted with disgust that a small bubble kept expanding and contracting around one of her nostrils. "...that'th...pretty much what my Dad thaid too," said Twist eventually. "Word for word, ackshually. Well, I thuppoth it can't be helpt." "Well all right then!" said Apple Bloom, smiling brightly. "Thanks for bein' so understandin' about it, Twist!" "Oh, that'th okay," said Twist. "It wuth fun beink your fourfth Cruthader for awhile! I'm sure I'll find another group of friendth!" "Best of luck to you!" said Sweetie Belle. "Let us know if you need any references!" said Scootaloo. "I will. Thankth, you guyth!" Twist waved pleasantly to them as she trotted away. "Welp, that's that," said Apple Bloom. "That wasn't so bad! Just like rippin' a band-aid off!" "Yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "Only now we need to find another prospect." "Why?" asked Apple Bloom. "Don't you think we ought to try and recruit some new members?" "I dunno, I think we actually work pretty well as a trio..." "How about her?" Scootaloo interjected suddenly. The others looked at where she was pointing. "Oh, the new foal?" asked Apple Bloom. "What was her name again?" "Mary-something, I think," replied Sweetie Belle. "No," said Scootaloo, "It's Pyx. Pyx Trebuchet." "Oh yeah," said Apple Bloom. "How could I forget a name like that?" She followed Scoot's gaze to the other end of the schoolyard, where the little black and green filly was facing off against the school's two most prominent bullies. "So what do you think?" asked Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle shrugged. "I really like her...racing stripe?" Apple Bloom rubbed her chinny chin chin. "The racing stripe [i]is[/i] kinda cool," she admitted. "And she [i]is[/i] a blank flank like us. Do you really think she'd make a good Crusader, Scootaloo?" Scoot shrugged. "I dunno," she said. "But Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have been throwing mud at her for ten solid minutes, and she hasn't done anything back yet. She seems like she'd be pretty easy to get along with." "Hmm, that's a good point!" said Apple Bloom. "And besides, it's not like she's Nightmare Moon or anythin'! What do you think, Sweetie Belle?" Sweetie Belle shrugged. "I really like her.........racing stripe?" "Then it's settled!" said Apple Bloom, stomping her front hoof triumphantly. "Pyx Trebuchet is the newest prospect member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" The three of them raised their front hooves in salute. - - - Later that afternoon, a still-somewhat-mud-caked Pyx followed the directions she'd been given, and found herself at an apple orchard on a large farm. She looked upwards and saw a bunch of rickety wooden steps leading up to a small treehouse. "Come on up, Pyx!" called out a familiar voice. Pyx hesitated, not quite liking the look of those stairs. However, Mommy Twilight's voice once again spoke in the back of her mind: [i]Kill them all, Pyx![/i] Wait, that wasn't right. [i]Try and make friends, Pyx![/i] There we go. Pyx took a deep breath, put on her bestest, brightest smile, and ascended to the treehouse. Inside, she found the three fillies who had approached her after class and invited her here. All three of them were blank flanks, just like she was. At a table at the far end of the little room stood a bright yellow earth pony with a bright red mane. To her right was a white unicorn with a fluffy, curled pink and white mane; to the left was a scrappy-looking orange pegasus with a short-cropped purple mane and stunted wings. "Hi, Pyx! Thanks for comin'!" said the yellow earth pony, the one who had called to her from outside. "I'm Apple Bloom, and this here's Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!" She pointed to the unicorn and the pegasus, both of whom smiled and waved to her. "Nipaaaaaaaah~~!" said Pyx, smiling brightly. This was followed by several seconds of awkward silence. The three Crusaders began to shuffle their hooves uncomfortably. Not knowing what else to do, Pyx just stood there smiling. [i]You're losing them, Pyx![/i] Mommy Twilight's voice whispered urgently in her head. [i]Oh no! What do I do, Mommy?[/i] [i]Say something else, quick! You don't want them to think you're a retard, do you?[/i] "Tutturuuuuuuuu~~!" she added. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo glanced uncomfortably at each other. "So, uh, how do you like our clubhouse?" said Apple Bloom quickly. "Oh, it's great!" said Pyx. "Did you build it yourselves?" [i]Good job, Pyx![/i] said Mommy Twilight's voice. [i]That was a perfectly normal question to ask![/i] The other three fillies seemed to relax a little. "Nah, it was my sister's from when she was a filly," said Apple Bloom. "We [i]did[/i] fix it up, though," added Scootaloo. "Yeah, it was pretty beat up when she gave it to us," agreed Apple Bloom. "[i]I[/i] made the curtains," said Sweetie Belle proudly. "I got the fabric from my sister." Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "You met Rarity, right?" asked Apple Bloom. Pyx nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! She made my vest and my headband, and gave me these [i]cooooooooool[/i] glasses! Oh, and she wanted me to say that if you are looking for the hottest new fashions at rock bottom prices, you should come on down to Rarity's Carousel Boutique, located at--" The three fillies suddenly burst out laughing. Pyx looked alarmed. "Oh no! Did I say something weird again?" she asked. "What? Oh, no; it's not you we're laughin' at," Apple Bloom assured her. "It's just that Sweetie Belle's sister tells everypony to say that." "Yeah, you don't have to actually go around town plugging her store for her," said Scootaloo. "Not unless she's paying you," added Sweetie Belle. Pyx thought about it for a second. "Nope, I don't think she's paying me!" she said. "Well, then you should let Rarity do her own advertising from now on," advised Sweetie Belle, still giggling. Her face straightened after a moment, though. "I'm awful sorry about what happened to your vest, though." The other two nodded sympathetically. For a moment Pyx wasn't sure what they were talking about. Then, she glanced down at her vest and saw that it was still stained with mud from earlier. "Oh, that's okay!" she said, smiling brightly. "I'm sure Mommy can get it cleaned up! Anyway, Mommy told me I should try to make friends with as many ponies as I can! I didn't know making friends was going to get my vest so dirty, but if that's what it takes, then I don't mind! Nipaaaaah~~!" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged a concerned look. "Uhhh....." ventured Scootaloo. "You [i]do[/i] know that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon weren't trying to be your friends, right?" Pyx looked surprised. "They weren't?" They all shook their heads. Together, the three crusaders explained the concept of a bully to Pyx. Pyx furrowed her brow. "Oh, dear," she said. "Oh no, that won't do! That won't do at all! What should I do about it?" [i]Kill them all, Pyx![/i] that voice in the back of her head whispered. The three crusaders looked at each other again. "Um, well, there's not really much you can do, unfortunately," said Scootaloo. "You can tell them to stop," offered Sweetie Belle. "And if they don't, just tell the teacher on them." Apple Bloom nodded sagely. "Yep, that's pretty much all you can do about a bully," she said. "But I wouldn't take Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon too seriously. As far as bullies go, they're pretty tame." "Yeah, they're like that to everypony," said Scootaloo. "My sister says they're gonna get what's comin' to 'em sooner or later anyway," Apple Bloom went on. "She said that Diamond Tiara was probably gonna grow up to be a 'town bicycle'. I'm not really sure what that means, but Applejack told me not to worry about it. She said Tiara'll just 'trot around' for a few years until she's all used up, and then she'll marry somepony rich and borin', and probably 'foal around' on him with her tennis instructor. I'm not really sure what all that means either, but the way she explained it, it didn't sound very nice!" Sweetie Belle nodded. "Rarity pretty much told me the same thing about Silver Spoon," she said. "She called the Spoon family 'new-voh reesh' or something like that. She said that Silver Spoon just rides Diamond Tiara's...pigtails? Coat tails? Something like that I think?" She looked to Scootaloo for confirmation, who only shrugged. "Anyway," continued Sweetie, "She says that Silver'll probably drop out of college and move to Applewood to become an actress or something. Only she won't make it, and she'll just end up doing porn." "What does that mean?" asked Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Beats me," she said. "I think it's some kind of government job. My mom used to do it I think, I remember I overheard my parents talking about it once." Pyx thought about all of this. She hadn't minded being hit in the face with mud when she thought it was a way of making friends, but now that she knew it wasn't, it was starting to make her mad. However, she decided to put the thought away for the time being. These three ponies seemed much nicer, so what was the point in dwelling on Tiara and Spoon? "Nipaaaaaah~~!" she said out loud suddenly. The three crusaders blinked. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you," said Scootaloo. "What exactly does 'nipah' mean, anyway?" Pyx thought about it for a second. She wasn't exactly sure. Still, she didn't want to appear stupid in front of her new friends, so she said the most sensible thing she could think of: "Nipah means tutturu~~!" "...so what does 'tutturu' mean?" "Nipah~~!" The three of them looked at each other. Apple Bloom shrugged. "Well, uh...nee-pah then!" she said. "Nipaaah~~!" said Scootaloo. "Tutturu~~!" said Sweetie Belle. Then all four of them burst out laughing. # Chapter Seven: Obviously, Fluttershy Isn't Cool [i]*KNOCK KNOCK*[/i] Surprised, Twilight Sparkle looked up from the book she was reading. "It's a public library, you don't have to knock on the door!" she called. "Oh, sorry," came a voice from the other side. "We weren't sure, it kind of looks like it could be a house too." The door opened, and two young fillies stepped into the main room. Twilight squinted at them. Her vision was a little blurry from the wine she was drinking, but she thought she recognized them from Pyx's class. "Is Pyx home?" one of them asked. "Oh, sure," said Twilight. "She's upstairs doing homework I think. PYX! SOME FRIENDS OF YOURS ARE HERE!!" There was a brief scuffling on the landing above, and then Pyx trotted hurriedly downstairs. She stopped short when she saw who the visitors were. "Hey, Pyx," said Diamond Tiara. She and Silver Spoon were standing in the doorway, smiling sweetly. "We were heading down to Sugar Cube Corner, and we came over to see if you wanted to join us." Twilight smiled brightly and took another sip of wine. "Well, isn't that nice!" Pyx had been going to school now for a couple of weeks now, and Twilight had been pleased to learn that she'd already made some friends. This was the first time any of them had come over to the library, however. At least, this was the first time they had done so when she was conscious. "Um, I don't know desu..." said Pyx, hesitating. "I have a lot of homework I need to finish..." "Oh, nonsense!" said Twilight, nudging her towards the door. "You go and have fun with your friends! I'll finish your homework for you!" "Um, I really ought to start doing it myself desu," said Pyx. She dug her hooves into the floor, trying to push back. "That last book report you wrote for me was just a bunch of stuff about how much you like Pone's Farm and somepony named Flash Sentry. The only reason I didn't get in trouble was because Miss Cheerilee couldn't read your horn-writing desu." Silver Spoon snickered at that. Diamond Tiara gave her a light kick. "Oh, don't worry about it!" said Twilight. "If you don't want me to write it, I'll just have Spike do it. Anyway, you three have fun. Just make sure you're back in time for dinner!" Before she could protest any further, Twilight nudged Pyx all the way out the door and shut it behind her. [i]Good for Pyx,[/i] thought Twilight as she poured herself another glass of Pone's Farm. [i]I'm glad she's making friends.[/i] - - - "...so then I told him I'd tell his wife and foals about us if he didn't pay me a thousand bits on the spot," said Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon laughed out loud. "Did he even [i]have[/i] a thousand bits?" "He did, and he paid me, but it was, like, his entire savings account. His family had to call off their trip to Whinnyapolis." "Wow, what a loser!" Both of them laughed. Pyx sipped her double-fudge mocha-chip banana-cream brownie-batter vanilla-bean toffee-apple caramelized coconut-sprinkled cream-filled fallopian-fruit-fritter milkshake, watching the two of them suspiciously. Her friends had assured her that these two were bullies, and thus far her experiences with them had been along that line. Over the past two weeks, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had thrown mud at her, pushed her down three flights of stairs, dropped a hive of bees on her head, framed her for shoplifting, and forced her to eat a pine cone. She wasn't sure why they were being so nice to her today, but there sure was something suspicious about it. "Who are you talking about?" Pyx asked Diamond Tiara. "Huh? Oh, just this old stallion who works at my Dad's country club. I let him feel me up a couple of times and then made him pay me to keep quiet about it." "Was he the one from the country club?" asked Silver Spoon. "I thought it was the guy from the saddle store who had the wife and foals." "No, that guy was the one who killed himself because he didn't have enough money and I said I'd go to the cops." "Oh, yeah! That's right." "Honestly they were all pretty much the same, I can't blame you for getting them mixed up." The two of them laughed again. "What did you do with the thousand bits desu?" asked Pyx. "Huh? Oh, nothing. I've actually still got it in my saddlebag." She lifted the flap of her bag to show her. There was a fat pouch inside, and through the slightly open neck Pyx could see the glitter of golden coins. "What are you going to spend it on?" asked Pyx. "Huh?" said Tiara absently. "Oh, I don't know; probably nothing. I didn't really need the bits or anything, it was all just for fun." "Oh." Pyx took another sip of her milkshake and considered this. What Diamond Tiara had done to the stallion didn't sound like very much fun at all, at least not for him; it actually sounded kind of mean. On the other hoof, though, she could see how having a thousand bits could be helpful. Mommy Twilight was always getting mad and complaining that she didn't have enough bits. That would always make Spike-onii-chan get mad too, saying that if she didn't spend so much on happy-juice she would have more. If Mommy Twilight had a lot of bits like Diamond Tiara did, she could have all the happy-juice she wanted, and Spike-onii-chan wouldn't have to be mad anymore. "Haven't you ever done anything like that, Pyx?" asked Silver Spoon. Pyx shook her head. "You should try it, it's fun!" said Diamond Tiara. Pyx wasn't sure, but she had to admit that having a thousand bits sounded pretty fun at least. Mommy Twilight would be so happy with her if she brought that much money home. "So what else do you two like to do that's fun desu?" Pyx asked. "Oh, just rich filly stuff," said Tiara. "Rich filly stuff?" "Yeah," said Spoon. "Like, this one time, we had Tiara's dad take us to the orphanage in Canterlot so we could adopt two colts and make them fight to the death." "And this other time," said Tiara, "We went down to the Ponyville slums and paid a homeless guy to dance for us while we threw firecrackers at him!" "Yeah!" said Spoon. "That was hilarious! Oh, and this other time, we pushed some [i]stupid[/i] filly down the stairs, and made her eat a pine cone!" The two of them burst out laughing. "Uh, that was me desu." said Pyx. "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." They both grinned sheepishly. "Seriously, though, Pyx," began Diamond Tiara. "We're sorry we've been so mean to you!" "Yeah," Silver Spoon chimed in. "We, like, really think you're cool, and we'd totally like it if you'd be our friend from now on!" "That's what you said before you made me eat the pine cone desu," said Pyx. "Yeah, but this time we mean it!" said Diamond Tiara. Pyx thought about this. She really didn't want to eat any more pine cones if she could avoid it, but on the other hoof, if they meant it this time she probably wouldn't have to. On top of that, she'd have two additional friends to add to the three she already had. Mommy Twilight always said that the more friends you have, the better. It was starting to sound like a pretty good deal, honestly. "Anyway," Tiara went on, "We'd really like it if you'd join our club." "You guys have a club desu?" "Yeah," said Spoon. "It's called the Rich Fillies Club. Only cool rich fillies are allowed to join." "Right," agreed Tiara, nodding. "And you know, like, all that mean stuff we've been doing to you? We weren't, like, doing it to be mean or anything. It was just part of our club's initiation." "Yeah," said Spoon. "We had to make sure you were cool enough to get in." "Hmmmm desu........." Pyx mused on their proposal while sipping on her milkshake. "So you guys really think I'm cool enough to join desu?" Diamond Tiara stifled a giggle. "Oh, absolutely," said Silver Spoon. "You passed [i]all[/i] of our tests with flying colors. We think you're [i]totally[/i] cool, Pyx." "But I thought you said it was called the Rich Fillies Club," said Pyx. "I'm not rich, or at least I don't think I am desu..." This time they both had to stifle a giggle. Fortunately, Pyx was staring off into the distance and stroking her chin, so she didn't notice. "...on the other hoof," Pyx went on, "If I had a thousand bits I'd be pretty rich." Silver Spoon couldn't hold it in anymore, and burst into a hysterical fit of laughter. "What's so funny?" asked Pyx. "Oh, don't worry about her," assured Diamond Tiara. "She's just thinking about something that happened at school yesterday. Anyway, yeah, if you had a thousand bits, you'd [i]totally[/i] be rich, just like us! We can help you make a thousand bits, no problem!" "By helping me seduce a homeless guy desu?" "A homeless guy probably isn't going to have a thousand bits," said Spoon. "But we can help you seduce somepony who does," added Tiara. "So what do you think?" said Spoon. "Are you ready to join our club?" "We just have one more test you have to pass," said Tiara, "After that, you're in!" Pyx thought about it. She'd had a pretty bad run with these two so far, but maybe her luck was about to change. Also, a thousand bits was a lot of money. What would Mommy Twilight want her to do? [i]KILL THEM ALL, PYX![/i] said Mommy Twilight's voice in her head. [i]I MEAN, MAKE AS MANY FRIENDS AS YOU CAN, PYX![/i] Well, that decided it. Pyx gave the two fillies her biggest, brightest smile and nodded enthusiastically. "Nipah desu~~!" she said. - - - The town proper ended at the river, and as soon as they crossed the bridge the houses became much fewer and farther between. The road wound through the grassy countryside, the dark mass of trees on the horizon growing closer and closer. "The last test is going to be at our clubhouse," Diamond Tiara explained. "Your clubhouse is in the Everfree Forest?" "Yeah," said Silver Spoon. "We don't want anypony in town to find out where the coolest club in Ponyville meets up. Otherwise they'd all try to get in, and it wouldn't be cool anymore. So we put our clubhouse in the one place they'd never look." Pyx thought about it. It all checked out, she supposed. Anypony cool enough to be in the cool ponies club wouldn't want uncool ponies hanging around their clubhouse. The road turned steeply upward, crested a hill, and soon the three fillies arrived at a sod-roofed cottage, separated from the main road by a hoofbridge that ran over a small creek. A familiar pegasus was outside, fussing over some ducks near the water. "Oh, hi Pyx," she said when she noticed the fillies approaching. "Konnichiwa~~!" said Pyx cheerfully. She recognized the pegasus as one of Twilight's friends. Fluttershy, that was her name. "Um, are you three here to adopt some animals?" Fluttershy asked hopefully. "Because I have a wide variety of pets in stock! Oh, I have so many bunnies, and kitties, and a nest of brand new baby birdies just hatched--" "Um, that's okay, Miss Fluttershy," said Diamond Tiara quickly, cutting her off. "We actually can't stop right now." Fluttershy looked concerned. "Um, if you're not here to see me, where are you fillies going, if you don't mind my asking?" Pyx smiled brightly. "We're going to our super secret clubhouse in the Everfree Forest! Tutturu~~!" She felt a hoof digging sharply into her foreleg, and turned to see Diamond Tiara glaring at her. [i]"Don't tell Fluttershy about it!!"[/i] she hissed. Pyx was confused for a moment, but then she realized what a grievous [i]faux pas[/i] she'd just committed. Fluttershy wasn't cool, so obviously the location of the clubhouse had to be kept secret from her. She had to fix this quickly. She cleared her throat, and said: "Never mind what I just said! We are actually going to the Everfree Forest for a reason that has nothing to do with clubhouses! Nipah~~!" Silver Spoon grimaced. Diamond Tiara had veins popping out on her forehead, but she made an attempt to smile. "Oh, dear," said Fluttershy, looking a little concerned. "The Everfree Forest is no place for young fillies! You really should find a different place for your clubhouse." "That's okay!" said Pyx. "We don't actually have a clubhouse! And we're not going into the Everfree Forest at all desu~~!" And with that, she began to trot off down the road, in the direction of the Everfree Forest. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stood there a moment longer, beads of sweat breaking out on their foreheads and big nervous smiles plastered across their faces. "Uhh...yeah, what she said," Silver Spoon stuttered. "Anyway, we'll be going now," said Diamond Tiara. "Bye, Miss Fluttershy!" they said in unison, and then in a flash they galloped away, in the same direction that Pyx had gone. "Oh dear..." said Fluttershy, as she stood at the edge of her bridge, watching the three fillies running off towards the dark, gloomy forest. "Oh, dear..." # Chapter Eight: The Everfree Forest is a Great Place to Hide a Body "Why did you tell her where we were going, stupid?!?" Diamond Tiara demanded angrily. "Yeah, that was [i]very[/i] uncool," snapped Silver Spoon. Pyx hung her head, staring at the road in front of her as she walked. The forest had seemed to swallow them up as soon as they'd entered. All around them were huge, thick, gnarled trees, their branches spread out above them like claws. The late afternoon light was now filtered by a thick canopy of dark green leaves, which gave it an eerie quality. Pyx found it uncomfortably stuffy and dark in here, and her current worries added to the atmosphere of gloom. Obviously, this was a big, big problem! If Fluttershy learned the location of the secret clubhouse, she might show up and try to join. She'd probably bring a bunch of animals with her, too, and they might try to join as well. It would be bad enough having an uncool and probably destitute pony like Fluttershy trying to join the Rich Fillies Club; imagine what would happen if a bunch of ducks and bunnies and ferrets and whatnot started applying for membership too! At that point, you might as well just throw all standards out the window and open the whole thing up to the general public. This was a big, big problem; no wonder her new friends were mad at her. [i]You need to fix this![/i] Mommy Twilight's voice hissed in her mind. [i]Kill them all, Pyx![/i] Pyx stopped suddenly. "I'm really, [i]really[/i] sorry about this desu!" she cried, bowing low so that her horn almost touched the ground. "I didn't mean to let Fluttershy find out where the clubhouse is desu! But, um, I had an idea desu! What if we [i]moved[/i] the clubhouse so she can't find it? Then, when she comes looking for it, with all of her uncool animal friends, trying to join the club, she won't be able to find it desu! That way, we can still have the Rich Fillies Club, but we don't have to hurt Fluttershy's feelings by telling her that she's not cool enough to join desu!" [i]We wouldn't have to kill her, either...[/i] Mommy Twilight's voice mused, though she sounded a bit disappointed. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just looked at each other. "Wait a minute," began Silver Spoon, "Do you even understand why we're--" Suddenly, she felt a nudge in her flank. She turned and saw Diamond Tiara looking at her with a knowing smile. Spoon knew that look; her friend had just had an idea. She quickly shut her mouth and let Tiara do the talking. "That's a [i]great[/i] idea, Pyx," Tiara said. "I don't know [i]why[/i] we didn't think of that. If we just move the clubhouse, it should solve everything!" Pyx looked up. Tiara was smiling slyly at her. "So...I can still join the club?" she asked hopefully. "Oh, suuuure you can..." Tiara assured her. "But I'm afraid that, because of your little [i]faux pas,[/i] the rules have changed." "Yeah," said Silver Spoon, picking up on Tiara's cue. "You remember that final test we said you have to take?" Pyx nodded. "Well, forget about it," said Diamond Tiara. "There's a new final test now." "What do I have to do desu?" "First, stop saying 'desu' all the time. Second, you have to go and find the clubhouse, and then move it before Fluttershy finds it." "Where is the clubhouse des--I mean, um, where is the clubhouse? Tutturu~~?" Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "We're not gonna [i]tell[/i] you where it is! What kind of test would [i]that[/i] be?" "Ummm...can I have a hint des--uh, can I have a hint?" "Look," said Silver Spoon, pointing off into the dense forest. Pyx looked. She squinted far into the murky underbrush, but she couldn't see anything. "I don't see it," she said. "That's okay. It's too far away to see from here. But that's basically where it is." "Yeah," said Diamond Tiara. "If you just head off in that direction, you'll find it eventually." "What does it look like?" asked Pyx. "Oh, you'll know it when you see it," Diamond Tiara assured her. "Where should I move it to once I find it de--uh, nipah~~?" "It doesn't matter," said Tiara. "Just put it someplace where Fluttershy won't know where it is. And when you've done that, come find us and tell us where you put it." "You'd better get going, though," Silver Spoon advised. "Because if you don't have it moved by nightfall, you're out of the club." "Yeah," said Tiara. "Better get moving." Pyx beamed them a huge smile. "I won't let you down!" she cried, raising her hoof in salute. "Tutturu~~!" And with that, she darted off of the path, into the dark depths of the forest. As soon as she was out of earshot, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. "Oh. Sweet. Celestia. She is [i]soooooooo[/i] stupid!" cried Diamond Tiara, cackling. "This [i]has[/i] to be our best one yet," cried Silver Spoon, wiping a tear away from her eye. "The only downside to this prank is that we might not be able to top it!" - - - Twilight groggily pulled her face up from her book. She'd lost consciousness at some point, and a page was stuck to her cheek. "Hey there, Sleeping Beauty," said Spike. He was dressed in his apron and chef's hat, and there was a pleasant smell wafting out from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready." "Oh, thanks Spike," Twilight mumbled. "Has Pyx come home yet?" "You mean Trebuchet? No, I haven't seen her since you sent her off to play with those two bullies." "What? What are you talking about?" "About six hours ago, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came over to take Pyx, I mean Trebuchet, to Sugar Cube Corner, and you said she could go." "Yeah, I remember that part," said Twilight, shaking her head groggily. "What was the stuff about bullies?" "Uh, you mean Tiara and Spoon? Those two are bullies." "What?" "Yeah. They're like the two most well-known bullies in town." "Really?" "Yeah. Did you not know that?" "Of course I didn't know that!!" "Oh. Well, yeah, they're huge bullies, they pick on her all the time. Don't you remember that time last week when she came home covered in bee stings? Or that other time she was all covered in mud and bruises? And then there was that time they sold her to a traveling circus, and the time they got her to join that 'twelve albums for one bit' record club, and the time they tried to sign her up for that filly scout troop that was actually a suicide cult--" "If [i]you[/i] knew, why didn't you say anything?!?" Spike shrugged. "I figured you knew something I didn't," he said. "Also, I don't really care." Twilight shook her head and conked herself with a hoof several times, trying to knock the cobwebs out of her brain. "I need to go look for her!" she said, and leapt to her hooves. She immediately regretted this decision, wobbling dangerously back and forth before she was forced to plop back down on her haunches. "You're in no condition to go wandering around," said Spike. "She'll probably be home any minute now. I mean, that's if she's still [i]alive[/i], but you know, chances are pretty good--" "RRRRGH! Spike, you're not helping!" Twilight shook the cobwebs out one more time, and decided to give standing up another try. This time was a little more successful. She threw on her saddlebags and began darting to and fro about the library, gathering things she thought she might need. "I'm going out to look for her!" she proclaimed. "When are you coming back?" Spike demanded. "As soon as I find her!!" she yelled, and galloped out the door. Spike stood in the doorway, watching her go. "You're the one who told me to make all this paella!" he shouted after her. "If you aren't back by the time it's ready, I'm not saving you any!" - - - Pyx made her way tentatively through the forest. The shadows had grown alarmingly longer and darker since she'd set off on her own, and she didn't feel like she was any closer to finding that clubhouse. "Boy, they really hid this thing, didn't they desu?" she said aloud. [i]You idiot,[/i] said a voice in the back of her head. Pyx drew to a stop. It wasn't Mommy Twilight's voice this time, but she felt certain she had heard it before. [i]They're laughing at you,[/i] the voice said. [i]There is no clubhouse. They sent you out here to die.[/i] "They wouldn't do that desu! They're my friends!" said Pyx. [i]You can't possibly be serious. Do you not remember any of the stuff those two have done to you?[/i] Pyx thought about it. "Oh yeah, I guess you're right. Nipah~~!" She looked around her. The daylight was fading fast, and she wasn't entirely sure where she was. Or how to get back. [i]You see?[/i] it was as if the voice had read her mind. [i]There is no clubhouse. They sent you out here to die. You must kill them all, Pyx![/i] "Hmmmm...but if I kill them desu, they might not let me into the club." [i]They were never going to let you in,[/i] it said. [i]There is no club.[/i] "Yeah, but we don't [i]know[/i] that desu!" [i]No, but we can infer it based on past experience.[/i] "Yeah, but we don't [i]know,[/i] desu. And knowing is half the battle! Nipah~~!" The voice gave an annoyed sigh. [i]Tell you what,[/i] it said. [i]I'll help you look for your foalish little clubhouse, and should we not come across it by nightfall, we do things MY way![/i] Pyx thought about it. It sounded like a win-win, honestly. She only had a couple more hours to find the clubhouse anyway, so if the mysterious voice could help her find it, then all the better. And if the two of them [i]couldn't[/i] find it, she'd be no worse off than she would have been otherwise, but she'd still come out of the deal with a new invisible murder-voice friend! So best case scenario she'd net herself three new friends, worst case she'd still get one! Pyx smiled brightly. Sure, there had been a bit of a learning curve and she'd had to eat a pine cone or two, but she thought that she was finally getting the hang of friendship math. And if things didn't work out with the Rich Fillies Club, maybe the mysterious voice knew a way she could make a thousand bits [i]without[/i] having to seduce a homeless guy! As if reading her mind, the voice spoke up again: [i]Oh, there will be ways to make a thousand bits, child! With me as your guide, you shall make a thousand bits and more! So much more! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA![/i] Pyx didn't get the joke, but the laughter was infectious. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA~~!" she cackled. - - - Evil-sounding laughter echoed in the distance. "What was that?!?" cried Silver Spoon, pressing closer to Diamond Tiara. "How should I know?" snapped Diamond Tiara, pushing her away. Then, a moment later the laughter came again, and they both instinctively pressed up against each other. "I want to go home," mewled Silver Spoon. "[i]You're[/i] the one who said she knew a shortcut back to town!!" Tiara snarled. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quite keep the tremor out of her voice, and it was making her angry. "If we'd stayed on the path, we wouldn't be in this mess!" "I [i]do[/i] know a shortcut!" insisted Spoon. "It's just...everything looks different out here in the dark! Besides, if we'd gone back on the path we would have had to go past Fluttershy's, and she might have asked why Pyx wasn't with us." The sun had gone down, and twilight was obscured by the dense tree cover. All around them the dark forest was coming to life. Creatures stirred in the brush; the two fillies could see large, frightening shapes moving about in the corners of their vision. On all sides, the skeletal trees rose up, tall and black and menacing. "A-all right. Let's t-try and figure this out," said Diamond Tiara, trying to sound brave. "W-we came from that direction, right?" She pointed with a hoof. "I t-think so..." said Silver Spoon. "O-okay. So, let's just forget the shortcut, and t-try find our way back to the path, a-alright? We can figure things out from there." "S-sure..." In the distance, something howled. The two fillies pressed together again, shaking uncontrollably now. - - - "I bet I can fit more in my mouth than you can!" "You're on!!" After issuing this challenge, Sweetie Belle immediately grabbed an apple out of the nearby barrel and stuffed the entire thing into her mouth. She pushed it into the pouch of her cheek, then grabbed another one and did the same thing on the other side. "Thath thoo," she said proudly, both cheeks stuffed with apples. To her dismay, however, she looked across from her and saw that Scootaloo had managed to stuff [i]three[/i] whole apples into her mouth. "Well, it looks like Scoot's the winner!" Apple Bloom declared. "Nho fhare..." Sweetie Belle mumbled. With a loud "pphhbbbtt," she spat the two apples onto the ground, where they rolled around and became immediately caked with dirt. "Where'd you learn to do that, anyway?" she demanded. There was a loud crunch as Scootaloo chewed up all three apples at once, and then swallowed them in a single gulp. She grinned broadly. "Just practice," she said innocently. Nearby, at the counter of the little wooden market stall, Applejack finished up with a customer and turned around, annoyed with what she saw. "Now what in tarnation are y'all doin'?" she demanded. "Apple Bloom, when I said you could bring your friends to help out today, I meant they could [i]help![/i] If you three are just gonna goof around, y'all might as well just run on home!" Apple Bloom looked guiltily up at her sister. "Uh, sorry Applejack," she muttered. "We just kinda got distracted." Applejack made an irritated noise when she saw the two apples Sweetie Belle had spat out lying on the ground. "And Sweetie Belle!" she said sharply. "What would your sister say about you wastin' food like that? At least Scootaloo [i]ate[/i] the ones she took! That's it, I'm dockin' the cost of three apples from each of your pay!" "That's no fair!" protested Apple Bloom. "Wait, you're paying us?" asked Scootaloo. Applejack rolled her eyes. She was about to lecture them further, when out of the corner of her eye she saw a pony running frantically towards the stall. "Hold on, I got another customer," she said. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just Twilight." Twilight reared up on her hind legs and placed her front hooves down on the stall counter with a loud clunk, panting and out of breath. Her mane was disheveled and her coat was plastered with sweat. "Hoo-ee, you look plum awful, sugarcube!" Applejack said. "What's got you all riled up? Liquor store run out of Pone's Farm again?" "No, fortunately they had plenty," Twilight said, still panting. "I'm actually looking for Pyx. Did she come through here by any chance?" Applejack stroked her chin, trying to remember. "No, I can't say as she did," she said. "Though I do recall seein' a coupla fillies walkin' by a few hours ago..." "Wait, what happened to Pyx?" Apple Bloom trotted up to the counter, a concerned expression on her face, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. "Pyx went off with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon a few hours ago," Twilight explained, "And she hasn't come home yet. I'm starting to get worried--" "Wait, did you say she's with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?" Apple Bloom demanded, legitimately concerned now. "How could you let her go off with those two?" "Yeah," interjected Scootaloo. "Didn't you know they like to bully her?" "No," groaned Twilight. "I didn't even realize..." "How could you not know that?" demanded Sweetie Belle. "Everypony knows those two are the worst bullies in Ponyville!" "Yeah," said Apple Bloom. "Don't you remember that time they made her eat a pine cone? Miss Cheerilee had to close up the little fillies' room for a whole day because of that!" Scootaloo nodded in confirmation. "I overheard her talking to the janitor about it," she remarked. "He said it looked like somepony had been gutting fish in there." Twilight just hung her head miserably. Applejack put a sympathetic hoof on her shoulder. "Now, that's enough, you three!" she said to the fillies. "Can't you see that Twilight's worried enough already?" "I've looked for her everywhere," Twilight mumbled. "They said they were going to Sugar Cube corner, but that was six hours ago! I've been all over town, but nopony has seen them anywhere!" "What did Pinkie Pie say?" asked Applejack. Twilight looked up at her, a confused expression on her face. "Pinkie Pie?" she asked. "What does she have to do with anything?" Now it was Applejack's turn to look confused. "Didn't you see her when you went to Sugar Cube Corner? I thought she was supposed to be workin' today..." Suddenly, there was a loud bang as Twilight smacked her face against the counter. "Sugar Cube Corner!! Of course! That's where they said they went! I should have started there!!" Without another word, she turned around and galloped off. "Thanks, Applejack!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Let me know if you see her, okay?" Applejack watched her go for a few seconds, furrowing her brow in concern. Then, she turned her attention to her younger sister and her friends. "Uh, maybe y'all should run along with Twilight and help look for your friend," she said. "Don't you need us to help out with the store?" asked Apple Bloom. Applejack glanced at the dusty, spit-covered apples Sweetie Belle had left in the corner of the stall, as well as the five unsorted barrels that were no closer to being sorted than they had been when the three fillies had begun their afternoon shift. "Uh, I think I can manage without you for a little while," she said. "Go on, help Twilight look for Pyx; that's a lot more important than sellin' apples right now." "Right!" the three of them said in unison, and they darted off in the direction of Sugar Cube Corner. # Chapter Nine: Friendship is Sorcery Most Foul Pyx crouched low behind the bushes, peeking out. About a hundred feet ahead of her, the path was blocked by a wide river. Her eyes scanned the bank, and sure enough, there was a shallow, rock-strewn ford right where the voice had told her it would be. However, the river was also occupied at present by a large, purple sea-serpent, who was splashing around in the water, talking to himself about mustaches or something equally stupid and eating some gemstones he'd harvested from the bank. The serpent appeared oddly well-groomed, with a large coiffured shock of orange hair and a long thin mustache. However, for some reason, one side of the mustache was curled and purple. "Who's that?" whispered Pyx. [i]Never mind him,[/i] the voice replied. [i]He isn't dangerous. He is, however, extremely annoying. Just walk past him, don't make eye contact, and in the name of all that's holy, don't answer him if he tries to talk to you.[/i] "Got it," Pyx whispered. "Tutturu~~!" She left the cover of the bushes and trotted quickly to the shallow part of the bank where the ford began. Noticing her, the sea serpent approached and started babbling something about his mustache. Pyx walked more quickly. She was roughly halfway across the river now. Meanwhile, the sea serpent was frantically trying to catch her attention, flailing his arms effeminately and warbling on and on about his stupid mustache. [i]Don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't even acknowledge him,[/i] the voice advised. Pyx did as she was told, and soon she was on the far bank. She spotted a break in the trees where the path began again and trotted towards it. The forest once again closed in on her, and slowly the serpent's anguished cries faded into the background. The path continued on through the forest. The sun had long since disappeared below the horizon, and the sky was rapidly turning from purple to black. A few winking stars were already beginning to appear. Pyx wasn't quite sure at what point "nightfall" officially took place, but it felt like she had very little time left. She trotted more quickly. Finally, she came to a deep ravine, across which a rickety suspension bridge extended. At the far end was a low hill, and on top of the hill stood the immense ruins of an ancient castle. Pyx stopped short, staring up at the crumbling, moss-covered towers and parapets. [i]There. What do you think of THIS clubhouse?[/i] the voice smirked. Pyx responded with an anguished groan of despair. [i]What is the matter now, child?[/i] demanded the voice. "Oh, it's hopeless!" Pyx wailed. "How in Equestria am I supposed to move [i]this[/i] thing?!?" - - - The door to Sugar Cube Corner swung shut, and Twilight once again emerged into the darkening evening. The streetlights around Ponyville were beginning to come on; meanwhile, the lights inside Sugar Cube Corner went off, and a familiar pink muzzle could be seen flipping the "Open" sign in the window to "Closed." It seemed they had gotten here just in time. "What did she say?" asked Apple Bloom. The three Crusaders gathered around her, looking up expectantly. Twilight sighed. "She says they came in here, but left a long time ago. She didn't see where they went." Their faces fell. Suddenly, they felt a whoosh of air from above, and a sky-blue pegasus descended to land on the street. "Any luck?" Twilight asked hopefully. They had run into Rainbow Dash on the way here, and Scootaloo had sensibly thought of asking her to fly around to some of the local foal hangouts, to see if she could dig anything up. "Sorry, Twi," said Dash. "Nopony's seen any trace of Tiara, Spoon or Pyx all afternoon." "Oh." Twilight's face fell again. The idea that Pyx might have gone off with two bullies had been troubling enough, but at this point things were starting to look bad. Really bad. She'd never wanted a glass of wine so badly in her life, but right now she needed as many intact faculties as she could muster. "Anyway," continued Dash, "I'm sorry about this, but I...uh...probably shouldn't be involved in this. Because, uh...you know." "Yes, I understand," said Twilight. "Thanks for your help, Dash. I appreciate it, I really do." "No problem, let me know if you find them," she said. Then, glancing awkwardly at Scootaloo: "Uh, see you later, squirt." Scootaloo rubbed the back of her head and looked away, laughing nervously. "Yeah...see you later." Then there was a big gust of air, and Dash vanished into the evening sky. "Well [i]now[/i] what do we do?" said Sweetie Belle, kicking at a pebble in the road. It rolled a few feet and then collided with somepony's hoof. Sweetie was about to apologize, but the pony began speaking before she had a chance. "Oh, um, hi Twilight. I'm glad I found you." Twilight turned at the sound of the familiar voice. "Fluttershy? What are you doing here?" "Oh, well, I've actually been looking for you. I wanted to ask you something about your cousin." A purple blur whizzed past the three crusaders, ruffling their manes, and suddenly Twilight's face was inches from Fluttershy's. "What about Pyx?!? Do you know where she is?!?" "Oh, um, well, um, you see..." Fluttershy, clearly taken aback, began to stutter and paw at the ground. Twilight took a deep, deep breath and tried to calm herself down. "Fluttershy," she began. "This is very important. Did you see Pyx at all today?" "She would have been with two other fillies," added Apple Bloom. The whole group was gathered in a semicircle around Fluttershy now, staring anxiously up at her as she hemmed and hawed. "Um, well, yes, I have," Fluttershy stammered finally. "That's what I wanted to tell you about. Did you know that Pyx and her friends have a clubhouse in the Everfree Forest?" "A clubhouse?!?" exclaimed Apple Bloom. "The Everfree Forest?!?" exclaimed Scootaloo. "A [i]what[/i] in the [i]where?!?[/i]" exclaimed Twilight. "No, I didn't--is that where they went?!?" "Yes, um, I saw the three of them go in there. Pyx said something about a secret clubhouse and went into the forest, and then her two friends went in after her. I, um, thought it was something I should tell you about." Something like a lighting bolt went off inside Twilight's head, and suddenly she could see everything clearly; so clearly that she was almost able to forget her near-crippling hangover. "Alright," she said decisively. She turned to the three crusaders. "You three head on home!" "What?" "No!" "We want to help look!" "Sorry girls," said Twilight. "I appreciate your help, but it's way too dangerous for me to take you in there. You three need to head on home and let your sisters know what's going on; they're probably getting worried about you too. Er, well, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom can do that. Uh, Scootaloo...you can just...uh...go back to wherever you sleep at night, I guess." Scootaloo stared sullenly at the ground and said nothing. "Fluttershy, you're with me," Twilight continued. "Oh, um, well, um, I don't know..." "You know about animals and stuff. I'm going to need you with me if we want to get those fillies out of there alive." Then, realizing what she'd said, she turned to the three saucer-eyed fillies and said: "Um, I mean, they're probably fine, and there's nothing to worry about. But Fluttershy, seriously; you're coming with me." "Um, well, I, oh, um, well--." Before the pegasus could even finish stuttering, Twilight had seized her in a magic aura and begun running off in the direction of the forest. - - - Pyx made her way slowly and with trepidation through the ruined courtyard of the ancient castle. The moon was now bright and the sky was a black canopy of stars. She'd completely missed the deadline to find the clubhouse, but she was not thinking about that anymore. There was something fascinating about this place; something she felt drawn to. [i]Come further![/i] the voice commanded. [i]Step this way, my child, and such things will I show you...[/i] As if under a spell, Pyx continued to walk across the deserted courtyard, her hoofsteps echoing eerily against the paving stones. She passed through a great stone arch into some sort of keep. The roof had largely collapsed, and she had to pick her way around great piles of rubble. Beyond the keep's vestibule was a staircase, and beyond the staircase was a corridor, and beyond this there were more stairs and more corridors. Pyx traversed all of it as if in a dream, somehow knowing exactly where to go without even the voice directing her. Not for the first time, she found herself thinking about the missing pieces in her memory. She couldn't remember anything that had happened to her before Mommy Twilight had found her in the forest, and yet...she had to have some sort of past, right? "I wonder where I am," she said aloud. Her voice echoed strangely in the empty castle. "Could this be...Detrot? Mommy Twilight says I came from there, and she also says it's pretty run down..." She came at length to a massive hall, with a raised dais at the end. As she approached the dais, she noticed that there were scratches and burn marks on the floor and walls. Something had happened here; a battle, or some other sort of disruption. Something far more recent than anything else that had befallen this place. The instant she stepped onto the dais, Pyx was engulfed by a powerful force that flowed through her body like an electric current. Hidden runes on the floor of the dais lit up, forming a magic circle with Pyx herself at the center. A great column of blue-white light shot upward, through Pyx's body and upward into the sky, and Pyx felt herself being levitated slowly into the air. [i]Look![/i] the voice in her head boomed. [i]Gaze into the mirror of the past! Look upon that which has been hidden from you![/i] There was a tremendous surge of power, and suddenly Pyx was assaulted by a flood of memories. Most of them she didn't understand, memories of betrayal and anger and some kind of struggle between two sisters. However, the last memory involved ponies who were familiar to her. She saw herself in this very room, at a far more recent time than in the previous visions. She felt larger and taller, and infinitely more powerful. Across from her stood a group of six ponies, whom she immediately recognized as Mommy Twilight and her five friends. She tried to call out, but found that she could not speak. Or, rather, that she was speaking already, but neither the words nor the voice were her own. [i]"You little foal!" she said, in a menacing voice. "Thinking you could defeat me? Now you will never see your princess, or your sun! The night will last forever!" She laughed; an evil, menacing laugh that seemed to shake the very walls of the castle. However, Mommy Twilight was undaunted. She looked at her and spoke, clearly and confidently: "You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here." Now, Pyx could feel another power taking shape in the room, emanating from where Mommy Twilight and her friends stood. This new power filled her with a dreadful sense of foreboding. "You still don't have the sixth Element!" she cried in desperation. "The spark didn't work!" "But it did!" replied Mommy Twilight. "A different kind of spark." She turned to her five friends. "I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark of Friendship, the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... MAGIC!"[/i] And with that, Mommy Twilight's eyes began to glow with a strange power, as did those of her friends. A storm of magical energy began to take shape and grow, emanating from the six ponies. Pyx was powerless to stop it. Suddenly, the gathered power burst forth in a great torrent, taking the shape of a great and terrible rainbow that ripped into her body, tearing her entire being asunder. She was suspended in midair about halfway between the dais and what remained of the ceiling, unable to move or do anything. She had no choice but to let that power flow through her, ripping and tearing and burning. She screamed, an unholy wail that echoed through the decaying halls of the castle and burst out into the forest. Her enchanted glasses suddenly burst, the lenses shattering into a thousand pieces, and her eyes lit up with a white-hot power. [i]What is this?!?[/i] thought Pyx as the rainbow tore through her. [i]Is THIS the Magic of Friendship that Mommy Twilight is always talking about?!?[/i] That was the last thing she remembered thinking before the magic overwhelmed her entirely. Her eyes went blank, her body went limp, and the great column of light dissipated. Her small body collapsed to the cold stone floor of the dais, and she remembered nothing more. - - - They were going in circles. Both of them knew it, but neither wanted to say it out loud. They had been in this clearing before; they were sure of it. Diamond tiara squinted. The forest was dark, but thankfully there was a full moon, and its light was bright enough that they could at least see what was in front of them. However, what Tiara saw did not lift her spirits. "Arrgh!" she cried out. "It's that stupid table again!!" Silver Spoon turned and looked at where her friend was pointing, and saw that she was correct. On a small mound of earth stood some kind of weird stone table, the only meaningful landmark they'd come across the entire time they'd been in the forest. And unless whoever had built it had made more than one of them, this was the fourth time they'd come across it. Diamond Tiara plopped down on her haunches. "I give up," she muttered. She kept her voice low. She hoped that Silver Spoon couldn't tell that she was close to tears. "Maybe we should just wait here for the rest of the night," Spoon whispered, sitting down in the grass next to her. "We can find our way back when the sun comes up." "That table gives me the creeps, though," Tiara muttered. "Why is something like that even here?" Before Spoon could reply, they both heard a sound coming from the edge of the clearing. [i]Rustle.[/i] "What was that?!?" she cried. [i]Rustle rustle.[/i] Diamond Tiara couldn't respond; there was now a lump in her throat large enough to choke a full-grown mare. [i]Rustle rustle rustle. Rustle rustle. Rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle Rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle Rustle. "W-what's all that rustling?" said Silver Spoon, her voice trembling like an old saw. "What do I look like, some kind of rustling expert?!?" snapped Tiara. Then, to their dismay, they saw that a bush at the edge of the clearing, not fifty yards from where they sat, was shaking and trembling. Something was coming towards them. Involuntarily, they clung to each other, shaking with fear. The bush parted, and a dark, terrifying creature stepped into the moonlit clearing-- [i][b]"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"[/b][/i] They screamed together in unison, shutting their eyes tight and awaiting the inevitable. Then, when the death blow didn't come, Diamond Tiara cautiously opened her eyes and peeked out. She heaved a sigh of relief and let go of Spoon. "Get off me," she snapped, pushing her friend away. "It's just Pyx." Spoon opened her eyes, and saw that Tiara was correct. The little green and black filly was standing in the clearing ahead of them. Her mane was a mess, she was covered in brambles and stickers, and her glasses were gone, but apart from that she looked none the worse for wear. "Pyx!" cried Silver Spoon. "Where were you? We were looking all over for you!" "Yeah," said Diamond Tiara. Her voice was still trembling a little, but she managed to recover a little of her old imperiousness. "We--we tried to find you, we went out to where the clubhouse was, but we didn't see you, so we--we figured you'd got lost, and went looking for you--" "Uso da." Pyx's voice had a calm, almost deadly quality to it that caused Diamond Tiara to cut herself off in mid-sentence. "W-what are you talking about...?" Silver Spoon stammered. Pyx smiled thinly. It wasn't a nice smile. It was hard to see her clearly in the moonlight, but Pyx seemed different. She seemed...older somehow, and there was something almost menacing aboout her, something neither filly could put a hoof on. "There was never any clubhouse," Pyx said, her voice serene and yet tinged with poison. "You sent me out there to die." "N-n-n-no, that's not true..." Silver Spoon continued to stammer. "W-w-w-we went out th-there to l-l-l-look for y-you, and w-w-we c-c-couldn't find you..." [i][b]"USO DA!!!!"[/b][/i] The sudden outburst caused both fillies to jump backwards in terror. Pyx's eyes opened wide, and as she stepped closer they could see that there was something wrong with them. They looked like the eyes of a dragon, and they seemed to glow with an otherworldy light. Diamond Tiara fell back on her haunches again, no longer able to stand, but kept backing away as Pyx advanced slowly closer to them. "O-okay, we're s-s-sorry Pyx..." she said. "W-we were just m-m-messing with you a little. W-w-we just wanted to scare you a l-little, we weren't t-trying to hurt you or anything..." "Y-yeah..." chimed in Silver Spoon, who was also backing away. "I-it was just a j-joke...we j-just went a little far, is all...w-we're s-sorry..." Pyx didn't seem to hear them. She kept advancing towards them with slow, deliberate steps. Her weird reptilian eyes floated in the blackness like twin moons. Her mane, too, seemed to glow with an ethereal power, writhing about like a snake. "I found a different clubhouse, though," said Pyx serenely. "Oh, yes, I found a clubhouse. Come with me, and I'll show it to you. Let me show you my clubhouse..." Tiara and Spoon kept backing up, scooting through the damp grass on their haunches, until eventually their backs were against the stone table and they could go no further. "Come to my clubhouse," said Pyx, her voice sweet, monotonous and deadly. "Let's...be...[i]friends.........[/i]" Her lips parted into a wide and hideous grin. The two fillies screamed. - - - Twilight made her way down the path, the violet glow from her horn blending with the pale moonlight to illuminate their way. Fluttershy trotted a few steps behind her, keeping an eye out for cockatrices and manticores and other creatures of the forest. The elation she'd felt had evaporated quickly once she realized just how large and dense and trackless the Everfree Forest was. But then they had seen that strange burst of magical light in the distance, and heard that wail... The thought of where Pyx might have gone had filled her with dread, but at least they had a lead now. The path wound its way steeply downward, and soon they came to a familiar-looking river. Twilight scanned the banks, searching for a place where they could cross. It looked like there was a rocky, shallow area a little ways down that could be forded. However, she also noticed the silhouette of a large, sinuous creature splashing about in the water not far away. "W-what's that?" whispered Fluttershy, drawing even with her. Twilight peered forward into the darkness. At the sight of the creature she'd doused her horn, but there was still enough moonlight that she thought she could get a look at it. She squinted, letting her eyes adjust, and then suddenly breathed a deep sigh of relief. "It's okay," she whispered back. "It's just that stupid sea serpent from the last time we were here." "Oh, right, I remember him," said Fluttershy. "Now listen," said Twilight. "We're here to look for Pyx, so we don't have any time to waste. So if that guy tries to start talking to you about his mustache or whatever, just ignore him." "Right." "Alright, let's go." The two ponies trotted out and headed quickly for the ford. As they neared the riverbank, the serpent caught sight of them and slithered towards them, flailing his arms and yammering about mustaches. "Don't make eye contact, don't talk to him, don't engage him," muttered Twilight to Fluttershy, and then they were fetlock-deep in water. Twilight kept pressing onward. The current was strong, but the water wasn't deep, and she was able to travel quickly across. Halfway across; good. They were going to make it. The sea serpent was still flailing his arms and bawling about something or other; she didn't even spare a glance in his direction. Three quarters of the way. They were almost there, they were going to make it-- Almost against her will, she spared a glance over her shoulder, and to her dismay she saw that Fluttershy was no longer following her. She had made it about a quarter of the way across the river, when she had managed to get herself roped into a conversation with that idiotic sea serpent. The loathesome creature was chattering a mile a minute, making fey hand gestures, and it was obvious that, even had she been able to get a word in edgewise, Fluttershy would have been far too polite to disentangle herself. Twilight hesitated, caught between the desire to help her friend and the desire to find Pyx. [i]Keep going, Fluttershy's dead to us now,[/i] her inner voice advised her. "Oh, Twilight, I'm soooo happy to see you!!" the serpent cried, catching sight of her. "You [i]won't[/i] believe what happened to my [i]mustache[/i] since the last time I saw you..." The serpent caught sight of her, and began flailing its arms, slithering in her direction. That made up her mind. She turned away and moved as quickly as she could through the water until she reached the far bank, and then broke into a full gallop. Fluttershy would just have to fend for herself until she got back. Even in the dark, she realized that she knew the path she was following, and the recognition filled her with unease. It was the same path her locator spell had shown her, on the day that she first found Pyx. And though she hadn't known it at the time, she'd also followed it the night before that, when she was tied up, blindfolded and trapped in a sack. And now, she realized that she'd followed this path once before that, and so had Fluttershy and the rest of her friends. A little further on would be a clearing with an old stone table, and beyond that... Beyond that was an old castle. She was so lost in these thoughts that she almost didn't see the little black filly that was standing in the middle of the path. She reared up, barely managing to avoid trampling the poor little creature, and almost fell backwards trying to arrest her gallop. An instant later, she realized that she knew who it was. "Pyx!" she cried out. "Oh, thank Celestia you're okay!" She scooped the filly up in her front legs and hugged her close. "Mrmmy, ah crnt breef..." Twilight suddenly realized she was crushing the poor filly, so she let her go. She ignited her light spell and looked her over. Pyx was covered in scratches and brambles and cockleburs, and somewhere along the way she'd lost her glasses, but she seemed otherwise okay. "Where have you been?" Twilight demanded. "Everypony has been worried sick about you!" "I'm sorry," mumbled Pyx. She sounded weary and disoriented. "What happened to those other two fillies that were with you?" Pyx blinked. She looked genuinely confused, like there was something she couldn't remember. "I...I don't know," she said. "They ditched me...and then...I don't know where they went after that. They said something about a clubhouse..." [i]A clubhouse,[/i] thought Twilight. Fluttershy had mentioned something about that as well. An unpleasant thought suddenly occurred to her. "You three weren't playing around near that old castle, were you?" "Old castle?" Pyx blinked again. "No, I don't think so..." Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. She suddenly realized she was more tired than she'd ever been in her life, and that she needed a drink. [i]Make that ten drinks,[/i] she thought. "Come on, Pyx," she said. "Let's go home." "What about Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?" asked Pyx. "They probably went home too," said Twilight wearily. "And if they're still out here, they better [i]hope[/i] I don't find them." They turned and started back down the path. However, something caught the light from Twilight's horn and drew her attention. She frowned. It looked like Pyx had something tucked in her vest. Her aura flared up again, and she reached inside Pyx's vest and levitated something out. It was a bag full of bits, she realized. A lot of bits. She held it close and peered inside. There were...sweet Celestia. There had to be at least a thousand bits in there. She looked down at Pyx, who was watching her curiously. "Where did you get this?" Twilight demanded. That weird, blank look came over the filly's face again, and she looked confused for a few seconds. She blinked and then shrugged. "I don't remember. I found it somewhere." She smiled brightly, if a little wearily. "Nipah~~!" # Chapter Ten: Something Something Nightmare Moon With the exception of the infamous Rainbow Dash Incident, a foal had never gone missing in Ponyville before, let alone three of them; naturally, the event had become the talk of the town. However, now that a week had passed and there was still no sign of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the talk was beginning to turn grim. Rumors and gossip were on everypony's lips that Spring, communicated in hushed voices; voices that fell silent whenever the haggard, worry-lined face of Filthy Rich and his wife were seen in town. Nopony blamed Pyx, of course, nor did they blame Twilight. The horse-police had naturally lectured her a bit for not reporting the incident at first: after returning home with Pyx, Twilight had consumed an entire bottle of Pone's Farm and was unconscious for most of the next day. The initial report had been made by Fluttershy. However, after a brief investigation, it was concluded that Twilight had done nothing wrong. It was reasonable that her primary concern had been her weird-looking cousin-daughter or whatever, they decided, and it had been equally reasonable for her to assume that Spoon and Tiara had simply left Pyx in the woods and gone home. No charges were filed, and, much to Twilight's relief, no further inquiries into the identity of her cousin were made. Twilight, of course, had also said nothing about the pouch of bits that Pyx had discovered in the woods. For her part, Pyx found that life was going well. She had become something like a celebrity at the Ponyville school. The foals both sympathized with and admired her for spending almost an entire night alone in the Everfree Forest, and at recess they all gathered around to hear her tell the story again and again. She suddenly found herself with more friends than she knew what to do with; the other fillies had even begun imitating her unusual patterns of speech, ending all of their sentences with "tutturu" and "nipah." And, though nopony ever said it out loud, the truth was that the schoolyard felt a little more pleasant these days, and nopony really missed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon all that much. However, all of that was soon to change. - - - One bright, sunny morning in the library, Twilight Sparkle's little makeshift family was gathered around the breakfast table. Twilight wore a rumpled, unwashed bathrobe, and her mane was a mess, but the half-empty mimosa on the table indicated that she was in a good mood. She chatted gaily with Pyx as the latter got ready for school. Nearby, Spike, clad in his frilly pink apron, was washing dishes and arguing about something with the owl. In spite of her recent ordeal in the woods, Pyx was back to her usual self. Replacing her torn vest and broken glasses had thankfully been a trivial matter: as it turned out, Rarity had an entire box of unsold leopard-print vests in the back room of her store, and she had graciously allowed Pyx to take them all. In an equally curious coincidence, she had also provided a box full of cheap, plastic eyeglasses identical to the supposedly custom pair that had been lost. The filly was now busy getting her assorted books and pencils together for school, nipah-ing and tutturu-ing as she went. Suddenly, there came a knock at the door. "Spike, answer the door!" yelled Twilight. Spike answered the door. A pair of earth pony stallions, dressed in matching grey suits with matching fedoras, trotted into the main room of the library. "Good morning, ma'am," said the slightly taller stallion. "My name is Pony-Joe Friday, and this is my partner, Horse-Pun McSpade. We're detectives with the Ponerton Detective Agency." The other partner, McSpade, passed a business card to Spike, who read it, shrugged, and passed it off to Twilight, who was just entering from the kitchen. She levitated it before her eyes, squinting at the fine print: [i] [b]Pony-Joe Friday / Horse-Pun McSpade[/b] Detectives The Ponerton Detective Agency [/i] "Um, okay," she said. "How can I help you?" "We're looking into the disappearances of Miss Diamond Tiara and Miss Silver Spoon," Friday continued. "We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions." Twilight made an effort to straighten her mane a bit, and swallowed the remainder of her mimosa in one gulp. "Yeah, that's fine I guess," she said. "But the horse-police were already here." "That's fine, ma'am," said McSpade. "We're not here on behalf of the horse-police. We've been hired directly by the Rich family in hopes that we might have better luck finding their daughter." "Oh, okay. Um, would you like some coffee?" "That sounds just wonderful, ma'am," said Friday. "Alright, I'll get some going," said Twight. "SPIKE!! GET SOME COFFEE GOING!!" The dragon in the pink frilly apron stomped back into the kitchen, grumbling to himself, while Twilight and the two detectives sat down at the table in the library. "So, uh, how's the search going?" asked Twilight. Detective Friday glanced at Pyx, who was watching them curiously from the kitchen doorway. "Um, ma'am? Would you mind asking your filly to leave the room? She probably shouldn't be hearing this." Twilight's brow furrowed in concern. "Pyx!" she called out. "Why don't you go upstairs and get the rest of your homework together?" "Nipah~~!" Pyx said pleasantly, and trotted up to the sleeping loft. Once the two detectives felt the child was out of earshot, they leaned in closer. "The search is technically over," said Friday in a low voice. "The bodies of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were discovered late last evening, washed up on the riverbank about twenty miles downstream from the old castle." Twilight gasped. "That's horrible!" she cried. "Those poor little fillies!" "The bodies were in pretty bad shape," said McSpade. "They had both been beaten with rocks and stabbed multiple times with some unidentified weapon. From the shape of the entry wounds, the current theory is that it was some kind of sharpened stick." "I...see," said Twilight. She looked a little queasy. "The body of Silver Spoon was in particularly bad shape," continued McSpade. "In addition to being stabbed and beaten, she'd had her neck broken and her head twisted around. When we found her, she looked a little like that owl over there." He indicated Owlowiscious, who was perched on a nearby bookcase, watching them curiously with his head turned around one hundred and eighty degrees. "Who?" he asked. The three ponies ignored him. "I......see," said Twilight. She now looked extremely queasy. "On top of their fatal injuries, considerable post-mortem damage had been inflicted," McSpade went on, oblivious to Twilight's reaction. "Whoever worked these fillies over worked them over good. They also went to considerable lengths to desecrate the bodies afterward. Diamond Tiara had her tiara wedged in an unmentionable place, and Silver Spoon had been severely beaten with her own amputated legs. In addition to this, they had clearly been exposed to the elements for some time. Diamond Tiara got the worst of it. When we found her, her face had been partially eaten by racoons, one of which was still feeding on her when our agents arrived. It took at least four of us to chase him off, but not before he managed to detach one of her eyeballs and--" Twilight suddenly leapt to her hooves and galloped to the bathroom. The door slammed shut, and muffled sounds of retching could be heard from the other side. The two detectives looked discreetly away, admiring the library's extensive collection of old Ponish books. "Say, how's that coffee coming along, little dragon?" called out Friday. Spike mumbled something unintelligble and unfriendly-sounding. The toilet flushed, and Twilight reemerged, still looking rather queasy. McSpade smiled pleasantly at her. "We brought some photos if you'd like to take a look at them--" "NO!" said Twilight. "No, that's okay." "We understand this must be very difficult for you, ma'am," said Detective Friday. "That's why we usually don't want children to hear these things." "Is there any reason that [i]I[/i] had to hear them?" asked Twilight. "No," said Detective McSpade, "But we like to be thorough." Friday cleared his throat. "From the condition of the bodies," he said, "Our current theory is that these fillies did not die of natural causes. We're suspecting foul play." "Really," said Twilight dryly. "Well, I guess you're the detectives." "We're currently looking into a possible connection with an occult organization that's been operating in the area recently," said McSpade. "We understand you might have had a run-in with them a couple of months ago." Friday reached into his jacket with his muzzle, and passed a manilla folder over the table. "Do you know anything about an outfit called the Order of the New Moon?" he asked. Twilight opened the folder and skimmed through a few blurry photographs of ponies in dark robes performing ritual dances around a campfire. "The Order of the New Moon?" she asked. "I don't think...wait a minute, was [i]this[/i] the same pack of incels who dragged me off into the woods that night?" The two detectives glanced at each other. "That's what we're currently trying to work out, ma'am," said Friday. "Do any of these ponies look familiar to you?" asked McSpade. Twilight looked over the photos again. "These aren't very good pictures," she said. "And I was tied up and blindfolded, so I didn't really get a good look at them. Plus, I was a little...under the weather that night." "Under the table, you mean," said Spike pleasantly, entering the room with a silver tray. He set it down on the table and poured out three cups of coffee. The two detectives glanced at each other again. "Were you...inebriated at the time?" asked Friday delicately. "Twilight? Inebriated?" Spike scoffed. "Not a chance. Nothing like that goes on in this house. No, sir, officer; we're strictly teetotalers around here. Isn't that right, Twilight?" Twilight shot him a murderous look. "Spike, I'm afraid there's a bit of a mess in the bathroom," she said. "Would you be a dear and go clean that up for me?" Spike smiled politely, made a rude gesture, and stomped off to find a bucket and mop. The two detectives glanced at each other a third time, and then rose. "Well, we've probably taken up enough of your time," said Friday. "If you think of anything else that might help us, please get in touch." "I'll do that," said Twilight. - - - When the door closed behind them, and they were once again out in the fresh morning air, the two detectives faced each other. "What did you make of that?" asked Friday. McSpade shrugged. "About what we expected." "Think she knows anything she's not telling?" "I doubt it." Friday pushed his muzzle inside his jacket and emerged with a cigarette in his mouth. He bent down toward a nearby rock and scraped it a few times with a flint-tipped horseshoe until it made a spark. He raised his head and turned his attention back to his partner, exhaling smoke. "You get a look at that filly of hers?" he asked. McSpade frowned. "The little black one? What about her?" "Not much of a family resemblance," said Friday. "Yeah, I noticed that too. Maybe she's adopted." "She remind you of anypony?" McSpade shrugged. "Sapphire Shores with better fashion sense?" "Maybe. But...I don't know. I caught sort of a vibe off of her. Sort of a Nightmare Moonish vibe." McSpade rolled his eyes. "Oh, you've said that that about every filly we've seen since this investigation started," he scoffed. "What is it with you and Nightmare Moon fillies, anyway?" Friday exhaled a wreath of smoke. "Call it a hunch, a policeman's instinct," he said. "I call it nuts," retorted McSpade. "You and your wacky conspiracy theories. Nightmare Moon resurrected as a filly; give me a break." Friday shrugged indifferently. "Say what you will, but don't you think this is all a little too convenient? Some Nightmare Moon cult starts operating in the area, kidnaps one of the six ponies who helped defeat the orignal Nightmare Moon, uses her in some kind of magic ritual to resurrect Nightmare Moon, and all of a sudden here's this filly who looks [i]exactly[/i] like Nightmare Moon?" McSpade laughed scornfully. "Oh, come on!" he said. "That filly looked nothing like Nightmare Moon!" "I thought I saw a resemblance." "Did Nightmare Moon have a racing stripe in her hair?" "She could have. Did you ever see her up close?" "No, but--" "But nothing. We're supposed to investigate every angle, so let's investigate every angle. Come on, we're getting paid, and it's not like we've got any better leads at the moment." McSpade opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it and shrugged. "All right, I guess I'll give you that," he said. "So what do you want to investigate?" Friday spat out the butt of his cigarette and ground it out with his hoof. "For starters, I'd like to find out if Twilight Sparkle actually has a daughter or not." - - - In a dark dark room, in a dark dark corner of a dark dark tower, a dark dark unicorn was thinking dark dark thoughts. As one of the most revered professors at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, as well as the Chair of the Angsty Poetry Department, Evening Musk had had first pick of offices. However, to his colleagues' surprise, instead of one of the prime offices on the ground floor, he had chosen this old, dilapidated observatory located at the very top of the East Tower. Rumor had it that this room had once belonged to Star Swirl the Bearded himself. Of course, another rumor had it that it had once been a broom closet, but Evening Musk chose to believe the more romantic of the two stories. The shutters had not been opened since he'd moved in, and no matter the time of day, the room was always dark and stuffy. The only light came from a single candleabra that sat on the desk, casting an eerie light on his shelves full of skulls and talismans and arcane tomes. There was a knock at the door. Evening Musk looked up from the book of angsty poems he was reading, annoyed at the interruption. "Enter!" he said. The door opened, and his acolyte Night Soil entered the room. "My liege," he said, bowing. Evening Musk waved a dismissive hoof. "Yes, yes, never mind all that," he said. "What is so important that you felt the need to barge in on my studies?" Night Soil cleared his throat. "I apologize, sir," he said. "However, you instructed me to alert you the moment I learned anything about Celestia's investigation into the Everfree Forest incident." Evening Musk frowned. He closed his book and levitated it back to the shelf, and sat up alertly with his hooves pressed together on the desk. "I thought you told me that investigation had been closed," he said, with interest. "It was," confirmed Night Soil. "However...well, perhaps I had better let this fellow explain it to you." He turned and gestured, and a light blue unicorn with a white mane and a severe expression stepped into the room. "Who are you?" demanded Musk. "You don't know me, my Lord," said the unicorn. "But my name is Bastion Yorsets. I am loyal to your cause." "Your name is [i]what?[/i]" "Bastion Yorsets, my Lord. All hail our Queen!" "Yes, yes, all hail the Queen," said Musk, waving his hoof impatiently. "But before we get into all that, I want to ask about that [i]name[/i] of yours! Where in Equestria did you get a name like that?" The unicorn looked taken aback. "Er, I don't know, my Lord. It's just my name." "You mean your parents actually named you Bastion Yorsets? Your father willingly acknowledges a son named Bastion Yorsets? On the day you were born, after hours of excruciatingly painful labor, your mother took a look at the beautiful new foal she'd brought into the world and said 'I think we should call it Bastion Yorsets?'" The unicorn swallowed uncomfortably. "Uh, no, my Lord. Not exactly." "What do you mean, 'not exactly'?" "Well, I'm actually called Top Marks, Lord." "Top Marks?" "Yes, my Lord." "That's the name your parents gave you?" "Yes, my Lord." "Well, that's an ordinary enough name." "It is, my Lord." "A perfectly lovely name, even." "Thank you, my Lord." "So why did you tell me your name was Bastion Yorsets?" "Well, my Lord, it's...something of a nickname." "A nickname?" "Yes, Lord." "Who gave it to you?" "No one, my Lord." "So you just started calling yourself that one day?" "Err...I suppose so, my Lord." "And what exactly does 'Bastion Yorsets' mean, anyway?" "I don't know, my Lord. I just like the name." Evening Musk took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly. "So, let me get this straight," he began. "Here you are, a perfectly fine, upstanding, well-bred stallion with a perfectly lovely name, given you by your loving parents. And one day, for absolutely no discernable reason, you started going around calling yourself Bastion Yorsets." The unicorn swallowed. "Um, yes, my Lord." "I'm supposed to sit here and have a conversation with somepony who willingly goes around calling himself Bastion Yorsets." "Uh...yes. I suppose so, my Lord." Evening Musk turned to Night Soil. "What in Equestria is the meaning of this?!?" he demanded. "Why would you bring someone with such an incredibly stupid name into my office?" "Well, sir," said Night soil, a bit nervously, "I think you should at least hear what he has to say." Evening Musk looked away and sighed heavily. He tapped an irritated hoof against the ancient wooden surface of his desk. Legend held that Star Swirl had composed his famous text on levitation using this very desk. Another legend held that it was the desk upon which Professor Broadleaf had impregnated Rose Blossom the cleaning mare, and it had been moved in here because it smelled funny. The two ponies across from him glanced at each other nervously. "I ought to throw you out the window!" Musk exploded suddenly. "I ought to lift you up by your horn, throw open the shutters, toss you out into the wild blue yonder, and watch with glee as you fall screaming to your death!" Yorsets swallowed again. "Well, my Lord," he began nervously. "If that is the fate I must endure in order to be of service to our Queen, then I would gladly accept it. However, I think you should at least hear what I have to say first." Musk sighed. "Oh, very well. What information do you bring me?" Yorsets glanced nervously at Night Soil, who gave him an encouraging nod. "Well, my Lord, I have heard news of--" "Am I to call you Bastion Yorsets," Musk cut in suddenly. "Or can I just call you Top Marks instead?" Yorsets cleared his throat nervously. "Well, my Lord, if it's all the same, I think I'd prefer to have you call me Bastion Yorsets." "He [i]does[/i] have some very valuable information, Lord," added Night Soil. "I really think you should hear it." Musk sighed heavily in resignation. "Very well," he said. "I will call you Bastion Yorsets." "Thank you, my Lord." "But it's a stupid name." "Well, that's just your opinion, my Lord. I, for one, am quite fond of it." "Just get on with it, before I change my mind and toss you out the window." "Ah, yes. [i]*Ahem*.[/i] As I said, my name is Bastion Yorsets. After the, er, incident in the Everfree Forest, Princess Celestia opened an investigation into our most nefarious Order." Musk grunted impatiently and waved a hoof. "I know all of this already," he said. "Well, what you may [i]not[/i] already know is that I was brought on as a consultant to study the spell that was used in the summoning ritual, and to determine its purpose. Naturally, I already understood the purpose of the spell, and naturally I did what I could to obfuscate this to keep Celestia from learning the truth--" "Oh, will you please just get to the [i]point[/i], man!" Bastion Yorsets looked a bit hurt, but he again cleared his throat. "Well, my Lord, I have discovered that the spell was not...entirely unsuccessful." This caused Musk to sit up in his chair and pay attention. "What do you mean?" he demanded. "The ceremony was interrupted; the transmutation did not complete." "Yes, Lord, due to Celestia's intervention, you did not succeed in bringing our Queen through the portal. However, through my studies I have confirmed that [i]something[/i] was indeed pulled through." Yorsets noted with satisfaction that he had Musk's undivided attention now. "If it was not our Queen who came through the portal, then...what [i]did[/i] come through?" asked Musk. "I'm afraid I have yet to determine that," said Yorsets. "But I have a theory, if you would like to hear it." Musk made an impatient gesture. "Yes, go on," he said. "Well," continued Yorsets, "Some aspect of our Queen did indeed make it through; I've ascertained that much. However, she was still without form when the spell was interrupted. What came through the portal was most likely some sort of chimera, a creature composed of various...lower entities...that was assembled and given life in the Void." Evening Musk thoughtfully rubbed a hoof against the underside of his chin. "Yes, that makes sense..." he mused. "And this...aspect of our Queen you spoke of?" "It is most likely lying dormant inside the chimera, as a sort of second personality. If my calculations are correct, it would take but a small push to awaken Her. I've already taken the liberty of drawing up some rudimentary notes on the procedure." He rummaged about in his saddlebag, and produced a stack of pages covered in runes and diagrams. Musk skimmed over them quickly. "Yes," he said. "Yes, I can see how this might work." He looked up. "Do we have any idea where the chimera might be? Is it...still wandering about in the Everfree Forest?" Yorsets flashed a cunning smile and shook his head. "That is what I had thought at first," he said. "But, it appears that she may have been found. One of our agents in Ponyville has made a most promising report. He says that there is a rumor in town that the librarian's little cousin is...not all that she seems." "Ponyville, eh?" mused Evening Musk. "Who is our agent there, anyway?" "Soup Du Jour, my Lord." "Soup Du Jour? I've never heard of him." "I'm not surprised, Lord. He's something of...of a background pony, if you will." "A background pony?" "Yes, you know; one of those fellows who just sort of blends in with the scenery. The sort of fellow you don't even notice even if he's standing right in front of you. Only an extremely observant pony would even remember he existed, let alone know his name." "Hmm, yes; that sort of pony is perfect to use as an agent. Well, have him look into this matter, and see if there's a way for us to get hold of this chimera. In the meantime, I'll get to work constructing this spell of yours. Perhaps we can salvage this yet." "Certainly, my Lord." "Oh, and Yorsets?" "Yes, my Lord?" "Good work. I've decided not to throw you out the window." Bastion Yorsets bowed graciously. "Thank you, my Lord." "However, I still think your name is stupid." - - -