Why Straight Spouses May Be the Last to Know Sometimes the last to learn about their partners' sexual orientation are straight wives of homosexual or bisexual relationships. For many years, these couples might not have disclosed their sexual preferences. Infidelity occasionally, though not always, fits into this pattern. This article will discuss the reasons why someone could put off telling their partner they are gay test, how to start a conversation with your spouse, and how to know when to call it quits on a relationship. Is Your Spouse Gay or Bisexual? Unless your mate shares their sexual orientation with you, there is no way for you to know for sure. So-called "signs" that your spouse might be gay.