**UPDATE:** After getting confirmation that admins have read my [original response](https://hackmd.io/@95uTQkHhRq-YVbP_Jos7Hg/ryOaXeHMj) and decided to ignore it, getting exposed and banned again when infiltrating tulpa.info for over a month and observing from the shadows what is happening there after An returned with her gang (good luck with identifying all of my accounts ;), my interpretations of some of those facts and opinion on certain people's good will changed.

I no longer respect An's position of the only victim and just a victim of the events that led to [Ranger's report](https://web.archive.org/web/20221016204017/https://community.tulpa.info/topic/1428-moderator-reports/page/13/) being made. I will not only defend our actions but expose our abusers too.

# The real story of abuse in Tulpa.info

[TOC]

## Basic, undeniable facts

**I've made this section and put it above everything first to make it harder to ignore the most important undeniable facts like Pleeb and Reguile both did with previous document.**

The whole situation is complicated and some of stuff that had happened might have more than one possible interpretations. While feelings and intentions are subjective, facts are not. I'd like to compile some important undeniable facts from the story:

1. While An claimed that Kanade abused her for months with hugs and headpats, only 3 (three) instances of Kanade actually giving them to An happened. It all happened less than a month after we started to talking to her in the server.
2. While An claimed that we leaked stuff from their DM two times, in both situations the stuff we supposedly leaked was shared by An in the server recently
3. Ranger's report claims us doing these thing while providing no evidence for them:
- Shaming An for threatening to draw boundaries
- Threatening to send unsolicited friend requests
- Violating An's DMs (as the instance provided by Ranger, as well as bonus one, were proven to be invalid)
- Explicitly threatening to violate An's DM
4. Boundaries set up by An weren't the same from start to finish. She first asked Kanade to stop headpatting people without consent, then to stop asking An about giving her headpats, then to stop talking to An about headpats at all.
5. Despite that Ranger's report doesn't take into account chronological order of events. Kanade's actions would be harassment lasting for months if they all happened after An's asked to stop talking to her about headpats at all. But it wasn't the case, An was gradually asking her to stop doing certain things and Kanade was changing her behavior towards An according to that.
6. Message that caused the final drama ("How much is it in worm hugs?"), while referring to content of An's message, didn't target her personally, so it didn't violate any of boundaries she ever set up.

Facts #1, #4, #5 invalidate narration about Kanade abusing An for months. Fact #2 proves that An either was lying or was being delusional about us, which shows that An could be lying or being delusional about Kanade abusing her for months too. Facts #2 and #3 prove that all side accusations were invalid. Fact #6 takes responsibility for the "worm hugs" drama off Kanade's shoulders. These facts alone invalidate most of Ranger's report.

## List of contents

Next section, [Chronological history of events](#Chronological-history-of-events) will show basic facts mentioned above and more in events from screenshots provided by Ranger (and some more) in chronological order.

In [Response to accusations](#Response-to-accusations) I'm going to respond to each section of Ranger's report one by one.

In [The real abusers](#The-real-abusers) and [How their abuse affected us?](#How-their-abuse-affected-us) I'm going to stop just defending myself which I did in previous document, expose people who abused me and say how their abuse have affected us.

In [Our lack of apologizes](#Our-lack-of-apologizes) we take back our apologizes from previous document and explain why, in context of what we have experienced from An with her friends and Ranger with the rest of tulpa.info staff, we did nothing wrong.

Last section [Further perspective on our conflict](#Further-perspective-on-our-conflict) is a possibly public (It depends on his response) message to Pleeb. I don't plan on publishing this document in public servers before hearing it but I have already shown WIP versions of this to many of my friends by the moment of writing this paragraph.

## Chronological history of events

**UPDATE:** This section has a lot of updates all over the place compared to the first document.

There have been a lot of "evidence" in form of screenshots that were supposed to prove narration of the moderation report. **Ranger's report didn't take chronological order of events into account** and just provided a soup of random screenshots without any context, which in my opinion made a lot absurd accusations looking legit. Let's analyze those screenshots chronologically, starting from August 2021.

__IMPORTANT#1__, __FRIEND-REQUEST#1__, __OFFENSE#1__
Here Kanade indeed headpatted (and hugged in the same talk a little earlier) An without consent and I believe it was a first instance of her doing that. There is also a friend request case. Kanade obviously was joking about ignoring friend request equaling to blocking (back in the IRC days, blocks were called ignores, weren't they?).

We already had An's other account in our friendlist back then too.

__SOUP#1__, __OFFENSE#2__
Here Kanade gave An a headpat without consent (last time from what I know) again but they didn't seem to mind as well.

__SOUP#2__
Here another person was targeted with headpats, not An.

__STOP#1__
Here Kanade asked for consent and eventually didn't do the thing.

__STOP#2__
Here Kanade replied to a joke with a joke. Many instances like that involve Kanade not being serious but without context it isn't obvious.

Summing up August, Kanade had indeed displayed physical affection without consent to An. She did it three times and An haven't reacted back then. It's all "physical" affection roleplay instances that An has ever received from Kanade.
Let's move on to September 2021:

__IMPORTANT#2__, __INCONSISTENCY#1__
Here there are two important things.
- An says first time that Kanade's headpats are bothering them.
- __Before__ that Kanade says that she likes patting people without consent and particularly An. It was before she got to know that An is bothered by it.

The next screenshot is continuation of the previous one:

__STOP#3__

She was joking with "no" meaning "I secretly want your headpat", obviously. She didn't believe An that they were really feeling violated and disrespected by her headpats before as so far nothing indicated that. Still, after that interaction Kanade never headpatted An again. Soon after that:

__SOUP#3__
Kanade asked An how to show them affection in other ways as she liked An back then.

On the same day later we have reached part from this screenshot:

__DM-LEAK#2__

Here Kanade references talk from __IMPORTANT#1__, I see nothing wrong here. An is mentioning something quite important: people in the chat are often playing silly and playful on public channel. So is Kanade. Taking screenshots like __STOP#2__ or __GASLIGHT#1__ as example of Kanade's malicious intent seem to ignore that fact. Or this one right after the current one:

__SOUP#4__, __OFFENSE#3__
Kanade wasn't aware about An aversion to any kind of physical touching back then and we thought it was regarding physical affection only. It's the last time Kanade ever engages in "physical" roleplay with An. She becomes aware of that aversion right before the next one:

__SOUP#5__
And soon after that:

__SOUP#6__
It was a genuine question Kanade asked after learning from An about attachment styles.

All screenshots from __IMPORTANT#2__ to here were part of one long talk. ~~Except the joke with secretly wanting headpats,~~Kanade did nothing wrong during that. She didn't really believe how her headpats in the past made An feel though and ~~it was a mistake of her that is going to backfire in next parts.~~ honestly, she had no reason to believe that, given the fact that Discord hugs and headpats aren't really physical.

__SOUP#7__
Kanade is not a native speaker and was quite unclear here. She meant that "no cat videos for you" for her is like "no headpats for you" for An. This instance wasn't even mean by Kanade. She had no reason to feel that mentioning headpats to An could upset her.

__GASLIGHT#1__

Here we were joking around with An. I don't understand what I or Kanade did wrong here.

And we reached the end of September. To sum up:
- there are no reported instances of Kanade giving An hugs or headpats in this month and in the future
- Kanade does respect boundaries set by An obviously and never bother An again for giving her a headpator a hug in the future.

Let's move on to the next month.

__SOUP#8__, __OFFENSE#4__
Here Kanade was being mean to An, replying "No headpats for you!" during the play with another user. It was rude to An but that's it.

__SOUP#9__
Here we were (jokingly) discussing if to "hug back" means literally hugging one's back or to hug someone who have just hugged you. Both I and Kanade encouraged An to demonstrate hugging someone in the marked parts, I think. I can see nothing wrong with that.

__IMPORTANT#3__, __SOUP#10__
Here Kanade is rude to An again in the latter part with "no headpats for you again". I don't understand what's wrong with marked part. Kanade replied normally to An after being asked why she is doing the headpats all the time and I'm not doing it instead.

__STOP#4__
It's continuation of the previous talk. Kanade tells an that she can get a headpat from me if she wants, given the context of An asking about why I am not the one obsessed with headpats, this isn't even rude. The part about perverts finding headpats sexual is directed to another person.

Here An first time says that they have been harassed by us for months. Counting period from 20th August to 13th October it's less than two months, technically. And they have given first signals of Kanade bothering them on 9th September. Assuming Kanade has still been pestering them with headpats etc. without consent, it lasted one month.

**Very important:** I'd like to underline the part when An said that Kanade bothering strangers online with (virtual) headpats is creepy and claiming that she has been harassed by it for months. An is stating that Kanade is being a creep for (not?) asking An for giving her headpats. Meanwhile, the instances of giving (or asking) An headpats take time only in first month and most of "no headpats for you" stuff were contextual. Kanade was asked by An first with something related to headpats or the current talk was about them. Kanade hasn't even seeked opportunities to give An headpats.

But An insists that Kanade is a creep for consistently asking her about headpats. At this point we could deduct that An head a personal problem with hugs and headpats but she tried to manipulate Kanade into thinking that by acting like she does she is breaking social norms.

Here headpats end for this month. But there is one more documented argument between us, this time featuring Aki:

__DM-LEAK#1__

Here we were accused of publishing stuff they told us in DM. We don't agree with this. An cut off our contact in DM and we didn't push it in public places for the sake of not accidentally disrespect her privacy further. I believe there were 2 cases of them accusing us of that, including one here. In the case of their problem with trust, I can prove they were venting about those problems in the server before:
__NEW#1__
Both examples are very recent relatively to our argument. I'm not sure if An realized that or hadn't remembered talking about it recently. Anyway, it proves that we hadn't leaked her DMs.

The other thing involved us directly talking about her nationality. It hasn't appeared in Ranger's report.
__NEW_V2#1__
Which we also didn't know just from DM, she has visited Polish community servers in the past. Also, she had actually revealed it in the server herself recently to that:
__NEW_V2#2__

Anyway, while I can remember those two things which both were known to us also outside of her DM, we don't remember her telling us about leaking something else and haven't found any more instances of An accusing us of leaking her DMs. But she insists that we have been consistently violating her DMs. At this point I can't help but think **she might be delusional**.

I think it was the last thing documented in the report from October. And from 2021 in general. In November Kanade wasn't mentioning headpats to An at all. In December An left the server for a few months, so it wasn't even possible as we didn't share other server with her. She came back in February, first under alt account. And that interaction between her And Kanade happened back then:

__NEW#2__
**UPDATE:** Yes, it's okidokime. It's been An's alt account she used before she joined again from her original account and she was recognized by people who interacted with her in the past. Apparently, Ranger hasn't recognized her:

After that Kanade assumed that An might not be angry on her anymore and their headpat (general, not necessarily ones related to them) aversion became questionable too from our perspective. Anyway, it was the reason Kanade's brakes loosened a bit. To talking to An about headpats in general only though, Kanade haven't bothered An with headpatting them since October of last year up to the very end.

__SOUP#11__
Here Kanade casually asked if the made up tulpa like headpats. After seeing previous interaction, she didn't feel wrong to ask An about headpats that aren't related to An themself. It caused argument that fragments of were documented by screenshots:

__GASLIGHT#2__, __OFFENSE#5__


During that argument we were insulted first and Luna insulted An back. What she said might have been very harsh but it was her (and ours overall) genuine feelings. We're not feeling solely guilty for that argument. An provoked us first and since she closed her DMs to us, we couldn't reply to her there.

And finally, the interaction that led An to leave the server again and never come back:

__SOUP#12__

It was an answer to this:
__NEW#4__

Kanade asked how much is 500 btc in worm hugs. It was referring to content of An's message above but that's it. She didn't offer An a hug, she didn't expect to be hugged, didn't even @reply to An's message, just thrown a silly question about hug to bitcoin conversion rate after An's silly comment.

And later asked what exactly An's problem is. At this moment we were very lost about what exactly An wished for, to be honest. Now we know that she indeed wished not to talk about headpats at all to her but she has later given us contradictory signal by headpatting Kanade randomly.

Here the argument continues:
__SOUP#13__

Kanade asks An to clarify her problems. Since she hasn't felt it being clear at all, which made sense given An's contradictory signals towards her.

Kanade is also feeling there that her boundaries are being overstepped by An. She feels that An demands of her to not talk about headpats at all if An is nearby as the "worm hugs" hadn't been targeted An at all.

An claims that she asked us before to not talk to them about headpats multiple times. She indeed did, previous screenshots confirm that. But if she is not comfortable with talking about headpats, why doesn't it stop her from giving Kanade a headpat in __#NEW_2__? An is being inconsistent with boundaries she wanted to set and expect others to still respect them after she has already broken them.

And as we mentioned earlier, even if An was consistently clear with her boundaries "Don't talk to me about hugs", this particular message hadn't violated these kind of boundaries.

__STOP#5__
Kanade is accussed of harassment by An again. A harassment, according to tulpa.info definition:
> Harassment is continuing potentially harmful behavior toward a member after the member has asked you to stop.

Indeed, Kanade has spoken to An about headpats after An asked her to stop doing it. But this narration doesn't take into consideration the fact that An has talked to Kanade about headpats herself after that in __NEW#2__.

__SOUP#14__
Here Kanade tries to explain that she didn't mean to target An with hugs in the comment about "worm hugs" that led to the final drama. Kanade's question referred to An's message about a 500 BTC fine but hasn't mentioned An in any form.

__GASLIGHT#3__
Luna pushes blame on An here, being angry on her attacking Kanade who didn't mean to do anything wrong. And honestly, she didn't do anything wrong.

Luna accuses An of projecting her own problems on Kanade. And now I think this accusation hit the jackpot.

An has left the server for a while when Luna sent this message but our discord client haven't noticed her leaving.

__NEW#3__

An has returned for a while to complain and it was her final words in the server before she left permanently (until recently). It turned out that Kanade's headpats had been triggering her.

An indeed asked Kanade to stop talking about headpats to her. But she hasn't been consequent with it. Her being not be being consequent also caused Kanade to talk about headpats to her again for a few times.

But in the final comment, Kanade hasn't been talking about hugs to An. She just referred to part of her message, not even mentioning An herself. Kanade wouldn't have done that if she knew that An is triggered by hugs. But she would have done it anyway, knowing that An just doesn't want to be talked to about hugs. And she didn't do anything wrong.

If An wanted to avoid Kanade talking about headpats nearby her, she should have told us about her personal problem instead of trying to make it into Kanade being a creep for talking about headpats to strangers etc. An's suffering has been caused by An's own dishonesty, not by Kanade's being abusive.

And by the way, no one (except me) seemed to notice that An basically claimed a public server as her safe space. Which, in my opinion, is extremely toxic.

__GASLIGHT#4__

Here is my comment after An left. I felt guilty and have been thinking if I could have prevented Kanade and An hurting each other. I could have made Kanade stop talking about hugs and headpats all the time. But I didn't want to limit my tulpa's freedom for the sake of someone else.

Now I feel that I have been manipulated into feeling any guilty at all. Kanade did nothing wrong and I made a right decision not to "correct" her behavior. She is a cute girl obsessed with cute things, not a monster An made her look like.

__STOP#6__
The last documented screenshot in chronological order is a comment of Az. It's a bit too late to be relevant in the case as An has already permanently left.

Anyway, in the end I feel it wasn't relevant to Kanade's case.

> If someone asks you to not speak to them in a certain way, you don't do it

Kanade always listened to An's pleas and corrected her behavior according to what she was told. No headpats without consent? Sure. No asking An for headpats at all? Sure. No talking about headpats to An? Sure.

But then An did to Kanade exactly what she told her not to do. Not that in Kanade's case it wasn't welcome but by doing it, she invalidated the boundaries that she set up previously.

And in the end, An didn't asked for not talking about headpats at all nearby her. Referring to something someone else said without mentioning them is not necessarily talking to them. Kanade's "abuse" that caused An to leave server semi-permanently:

__SOUP#12__

wasn't wrong even if An was consequent with boundaries she expected Kanade to respect, from start to finish.

### TL;DR
- At the beginning Kanade have given An a few headpats without consent (__FRIEND-REQUEST#1__)
- An asked Kanade to stop, she complied with that and stopped doing things without consent (__STOP#2__)
- Kanade is told that An don't like headpats and to stop asking for them. She complies with that too. While she gets mean with "no headpats for you" stuff, it doesn't violate boundaries set up then. (__SOUP#3__)
- An is upset by this stuff too and asks Kanade to just stop mentioning headpats to them at all. Kanade complies to that too. (__STOP#4__)
- An has left a server for a few months and gets back incognito ~~recognized by everyone (except Ranger apparently)~~ and during their interaction with Kanade, they headpat her, invalidating the boundaries that they set up previously. They return to their original account soon after that. (__NEW#2__)
- Kanade thinks that she can talk to An about headpats again. She does it a few times without proposing headpats to An though. (__SOUP#11__)
- Kanade ask a question only referring to An's message, not even directed to her (__SOUP#12__)
- An gets really angry at the end and eventually reveals that headpats were her trigger, then leaves the server permanently (until recently). (__NEW#4__)

From our point of view, Kanade was consistently correcting her behavior and complying to boundaries set. She didn't know how to react to contradictory signals from An and in the end we think it wasn't her fault.

I think it makes a narration about abuse lasting for months and people not reacting completely fall apart though.

### Kanade's (or ours in general) real offenses to An

One headpat + one hug before without consent
Another headpat without consent
Poke without consent
Mean comment to An without provocation
Answering insult with insult

It's all of our wrongdoings to An combined. Kanade gave her two headpats, one hug and one poke without consent. All within one month and before any negative feedback from her, here you have your abuse lasting months.

Out of about 35 screenshots, only 5 contain any kind of actual offense to An. And all of those 5 are minor offenses, considering the fact that all of _physical_ touch without consent happened before An asked Kanade to stop. None of this is a harassment.

## Response to accusations

### Various things unrelated to headpats

> In addition to non-consensual roleplay touching, Kanade and others in their system participated in boundary violating behavior. They __shamed the target for threatening to draw boundaries__, __threatened to send unsolicited friend requests__, were called out by the targeted user that they were untrustworthy as they __violated their DMs__, and they __explicitly threatened to leak DM content__.

__FRIEND-REQUEST#1__

In __FRIEND-REQUEST#1__ Kanade didn't threaten to send a friend request, she has just sent it and from what I know sending a friend request isn't a crime. And considering the fact that we were talking in DM with An's another alter back then, I don't think it was unsolicited at all.

__DM-LEAK#1__
__NEW#1__

Regarding __DM-LEAK#1__ we proved in __NEW#1__ that information we supposedly taken from DM was available in the server as she had been recently talking about it.

__NEW_V2#1__
Which we also didn't know just from DM, she has visited Polish community servers in the past. I have to admit that we didn't recognize her at first before DMing her though. But regardless of that she had actually revealed it in the server herself recently to that:
__NEW_V2#2__

I can't see anything that would support accusing us of threatening to share content of our DM with them or shaming her for having boundaries. __DM-LEAK#2__ mentioned in this section doesn't seem to contain anything useful either.

__DM-LEAK#2__
This screen was also provided in this section of Ranger's report. I'm not sure what was it supposed to show. I certainly can't see things like shaming An for threatening to draw boundaries, threatening to send unsolicited friend requests, violating their DMs or explicitly threatening to do so. And no other screenshots in this section show anything supporting things said about us in this section.

**All of this part of moderation report is an utter bullshit.** And honestly, I can't help but think it has been made up on purpose to defame us as a form of revenge.

Ignoring this section by tulpa.info admins have proven their lack of taking this seriously. Putting aside other stuff for a moment, all of things mentioned here have been proven to be false. I repeat once again:

- I haven't shamed An for threatening to draw boundaries.
- I haven't threatened to send unsolicited friend requests. I have sent her friend request once when I have already been friends with her other account, how the hell is it unsolicited?
- I haven't violated her DMs. I have proven that information she accused me of leaking from her DMs had been available in the server recently.
- I haven't threatened to violate her DMs.

Points above are not my opinions, they are facts. **Facts proving a whole section of Ranger's report being total bullshit.** Even if the rest of the report were true, those things alone are nothing but defamation tulpa.info staff is responsible for.

### Amount of "abuse"

>Kanade and other's main form of abuse was through non-consensual roleplay touching. They would repeatedly direct, mention, ping/tag, or bring up roleplay touching around the targeted user. Here is a collection of several screenshots of Kanade and others in their system targeting the other member with roleplay touching. Keep in mind this is likely not every instance of this abuse occurring.

This is original form of screenshots under this section. I have tagged comments from this soup as __SOUP#_N___.

#1 is an actual hug+headpat but it happened before Kanade knew that An didn't want it. #2 is not targeting An. #3 was a genuine question in its context. #4 was like #1 but with any kind of touch, #5-6 like #3. In #8 Kanade was indeed being mean to An. In #9 neither of us did anything wrong given the context, #10 was fine in its context. #11 comes after Kanade has been encouraged to talk about headpats with An again, it still wasn't related to headpatting them though. And in #12 her mentioning hugs wasn't directed at An either. The rest of the soup is a discussion coming up from #12.

In the soup at the start of the report there have been one case of Kanade being truly mean to An with this "no headpats for you" nonsense and 3 cases of discord hugs/headpats without consent. In other screenshots Kanade didn't do anything wrong. None is example of harassment. All cases of Kanade giving hug/headpat/poke to An had time before An said it bothers her. To me it looks like Ranger is spamming a weak evidence to support apriori defined goal.

Ranger mentioned that the soup didn't contain all examples of Kanade harassing An but it would be expected of strong examples to be published first and foremost. And here weak examples are already in strong majority. Actually, there is no harassment here at all.

To sum up:
- Non-consensual roleplay touching happened in events documented those screenshots exactly three times. (As #1 contains 2 instances). Kanade stopped it after being told to stop.
- Kanade has been mean to An one time with "No headpats for you stuff". And she stopped it after being asked to stop.

Kanade has never harassed An according to tulpa.info's definition of harassment. Yeah, we have reached that kind of conclusion in the end.

### Being told to stop

> Kanade and others in their system have been told to stop publicly by the targeted member, other members, and both publicly and privately by staff members. Despite this, their behavior continued and persisted for months. The following screenshots are public examples of both the targeted member, another member, and a staff member telling Kanade and others in their system to stop.

Indeed, An and others asked Kanade to stop pestering An multiple times. But in our point of view, we complied each time, taking into account chronological order of events.

__STOP#1__
Here Kanade asks for consent and abstains not being given.

__STOP#2__
This screenshot mentioned lack of consent for hugs. Kanade haven't hugged or headpatted An without (or with) consent after that.

__STOP#3__
Here Kanade doesn't read a mood and makes a joke. She later makes up some "no headpats for you" nonsense which is mean to An but doesn't seem to violate boundaries that An wanted to set up.

__STOP#4__
Here Kanade is being insulted and asked to stop bringing up headpats to An. She complies and doesn't talk to An about headpats until they come back and give her a headpat themselves in __NEW#2__:

And even after that, Kanade haven't targeted An with headpats or any other form of touch anymore.

__STOP#5__
__STOP#6__
These screenshots document things that happened after Kanade's last supposed offense.

Overall, without contradictory signals, Kanade has been correcting her behavior consistently given a feedback. The narration about it persisting for months is false.

**UPDATE:** And again, a little sum up:
- Kanade has been consistently correcting her behavior according to An's wishes and acting according to boundaries An sets up.
- Lack of consent mentioned -> Kanade is asking for consent before hugging people
- Asked for not mentioning headpats at all -> Kanade complies again to the boundaries An set up
- An not sticking to her own boundaries. -> Kanade takes it for boundaries being loosened.

Kanade's behavior has been changing, consistently, according to An's directions. But An has been inconsistent with her boundaries and it was causing Kanade to get lost with what she could or couldn't say to An. Kanade still was careful with it though.

### Gaslighting (WTF?)

> Kanade and others in their system performed emotional and cyber harassment towards the targeted member that mostly consisted of non-consensual roleplay touching and boundary violating behavior. However, in addition to this, Kanade and others in their system also gaslighting tactics to manipulate the targeted member.

>Kanade and others in their system used gaslighting techniques towards the target. According to Very Well, gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the **abuser paints a false narrative** though lying and deceit. Gaslighting is carried out through several tactics including **lying, discrediting, minimizing, shifting blame, denying wrongdoing, saying nice things with ill intent, and rewriting history**. Kanade and others in their system exhibit several examples of this behavior, as the following screenshots show:

>Lying about not giving the target headpats and their intentions, putting forward a false narrative that the target is the abuser, denying any wrong doing when called out for their abusive behavior, and saying they "like" the target after insulting or demeaning them are the most common tactics used. Keep in mind that this is only revealing publicly available evidence and not all public displays of gaslighting behavior may have been found. Given the repetitive behavior observed and the context of the other abusive behavior, it has been concluded that Kanade and other are responsible for gaslighting the targeted member.

Finally the gaslighting part, the most unfair bullshit in this fucking report. Let's start with analyzing supposed evidence:

__GASLIGHT#1__
Starting with this one, as I said earlier, I'm not even sure what we did in that part. It was a part of silly talk about timeline being fucked up, like plenty of talks like that. You think that me accusing An of fucking up the timeline was serious? Or Kanade being deredere and telling them that even if they fucked it up, she is still going to like them was toxic of her?

__GASLIGHT#2__

Here Luna has a serious argument with An and says harsh words to her after being insulted herself. After that Luna said how we genuinely felt. How is it a form of gaslighting?

__GASLIGHT#3__
Here Luna was trying to push blame on An. We are angry at her because Kanade had been feeling attacked by them as she hasn't targeted An with "worm hugs" in her last message. Luna's accusations here in my opinion are just true -- An has been not consequent in boundaries she set up and Kanade's last message wouldn't violate any boundaries she set up.

__GASLIGHT#4__
Here I am commenting on my feelings about the case. I'm not happy to have contributed to her suffering but I don't feel particularly responsible for it either. It's not my responsibility to be careful about triggers that I wasn't even aware of. And no, An wasn't clear about hugs and headpats being her triggers, DID doesn't cause people to being unable to talk about them either. Actually, people affected with DID often list their triggers.

__INCONSISTENCY#1__
__INCONSISTENCY#2__

I don't know what kind of inconsistency these ones are supposed to show. In #1 Kanade wasn't aware of An minding her headpats until that exact moment. In #2 she has mixed feelings. She is feeling guilty for hurting An but she also has right to feel attacked by her and being made into a scapegoat. If there is inconsistency between her behavior in #1 and #2, well, it's been half a year between those moments.

Ranger is abusing the term "gaslighting" here. A narrative that is different from yours is not necessarily false from perspective of other people. We have been honest with our feelings during and after the case.

Kanade hasn't given An headpats since September 2021 and has always complied to An's pleas until given contradictory signals. We have never been trying to make An look like an abuser and Kanade had right to feel attacked when accused of things that from her point of view were utterly absurd and defend herself. We now no longer truly care about An getting hurt, but we truly used to like them back then. Arguing with someone and saying harsh words doesn't meanwe stopped liking them entirely back then, you know?

Also, why those things are referred as "tactics"? Tactics for what exactly? Is it supposed to mean we have been actively thinking about ways to hurt An? I don't know what to say more about that. Ranger, just go to hell, you fucker.

Or maybe it wasn't Ranger's idea and she just published what another person (not An) told her? I think I know where this gaslighting might come from... Stay tuned.

### Summary

- Accusations that don't regard headpats etc. are utter bullshit and it's been proved without any doubts.
- Evidence for Kanade abusing An is overall very weak. It honestly surprised us how scarce instances of Kanade pestering An really were, before analyzing it, we have been convinced that Kanade have been acting much worse. In reality, Kanade has touched An without consent for a few times in the first month of knowing her and have been mean to her otherwise just once in documented messages.
- Kanade has been consistently correcting her behavior when asked to stop, An being inconsistent and dishonest about her personal problems led to her suffering.
- Part about gaslighting is just an insult to us, so fuck you too, Ranger.

## The real abusers

### An


Ranger's report was eventually caused by An's delusions or deceit, I'm not exactly sure which is closer to the truth in her case.

In previous sections I showed how she was **either lying or being delusional** about us leaking stuff from their DM which had happened to also be revealed by her in the server recently to her accusations in the server. I'm not really sure about An's intentions and her real feelings here, if she has tried to shift blame on us for revealing things she hadn't want to reveal or not.

The whole case of hugs/headpats related stuff shows how she is **painting a false narration**. She claimed to be abused by us for months with it when all _physical_ touch roleplay she ever received from Kanade happened within first month of us talking to each other in the server. And after receiving feedback, Kanade always has complied to her pleas. If An was honest from the start that mentioning headpats to her is causing her distress, Kanade would do everything to prevent harming a person she considered her friend back then.

Instead An tried to make Kanade feel guilty for being herself and talking about and doing cute things to other people as if An's triggers weren't her personal problem but something that other people need to adapt to by default. An was consistently trying to **shift responsibility** of her own personal problems on people that weren't aware of them. She also admitted to using the server as her safe space. And her claiming later that she was abused for months by people not adapting to her personal problems they weren't aware of is nothing but **rewriting history**.

There were also instances of her **minimizing our feelings**, when we were trying to state our point of view. An managed to make me feel guilty about hurting her but she wasn't satisfied with having any responsibility herself over being hurt. She consistently **denied having any responsibility** for what have happened to her.

**By calling An an abuser, it isn't my intention to deny that she was a victim too.** How she handled the case with Kanade's headpats might not be her fault but fault of the abuse she experienced in childhood and bad habits it taught to her combined with triggers it caused. It could explain her being delusional about stuff I supposedly leak from our DM too. It still doesn't erase her responsibility and certainly doesn't put it on other people. It also doesn't excuse sacrificing well being of other people for her sake. While she is a victim, she isn't my victim and making me into a convenient scapegoat by her and her support group wasn't fair.

There is a certain group of people that followed An when they left the server and returned together with her too. Some of those people have been consistently supporting An and contributed to abusing other people for her sake. Actions of most of them weren't significant in my perspective, except those of Alexandra.

### Alexandra

And among those people, Alexandra is the most notable abuser. She has been consistently advocating An's actions and condemning us for supposed violations we made while pretending to be our friend, at least before "worm hug" drama. I wanted to make it into section of An's support group at first but in the end abuse we received from other members of An's gang wasn't significant from our point of view. On the other hand, Alexandra eventually made the longest of sections about our abusers.

I think it's going to be long enough if I mention only the stuff she was saying just after "worm hugs" drama. She has been attacking Kanade a lot back then.

In her first message, Alexandra claimed that Kanade's message about worm hugs is targeting An with those hugs specifically and An wasn't upset just about talking about hugs in public place.

Kanade replies that she wasn't aiming at An with hugs. Alex insists that she were and provides a far fetched interpretation of Kanade's message, saying that the message implied paying a fine to An in hugs.

Alex keeps trying to convince Kanade that she aimed hugs at An, ignoring Kanade trying to defend herself. Alex demonstrates **minimizing Kanade's feelings**, **discrediting her** with implied lack of comprehension skills, **shifting responsibility** for far-fetched interpretation of the "worm hugs" message on her and completely **denies An's responsibility** over her own feelings.

Later Alex keeps insisting that An felt targeted by Kanade and it's Kanade's responsibility, confusing Kanade and using it to make it look like Kanade either can't comprehend or is deliberately pretending to misunderstand.

Alex again is minimizing Kanade's feelings as a victim and **lied** about Kanade not clarifying misunderstanding of An about the "worm hug" message despite Kanade repeating a lot that she wasn't targeting An with hugs, again discredits Kanade's comprehension skills and calls out Kanade's confusion about An's intentions as Kanade's roleplaying.

Later Alexandra accuses another user who had _audacity_ to defend Kanade and point out stating personal boundaries as a rule to obey as wrong, of gaslighting specifically.

She leaves the server to come back again briefly and post a series of messages about what she is disappointed about in the server. Among them:

I think she isn't talking about her ridiculing Kanade's feedback.


Gaslighting gets mentioned again. Also, I believe this was meant to be about us supposedly gaslighting An but in my opinion it could also refer to what Alexandra has been doing to us. In the aftermatch of the "worm hugs" drama, she managed to show many, as she said, elements of gaslighting. As many as Ranger and An showed over longer periods of time.

Here Alex states that moderation should be done regardless of intent. When I tried to contact Ranger about the report, she told us that too.

Here she said that strikes people have received weren't enough.

And she left after that and returned with An only recently:

I would say that that kind of form of communication (announcing departure leaving behind a wall of text) is extremely toxic since there is no way to discuss the ideas with original poster. But I have no further comment to the final part.

To be honest, after reading Alexandra's messages just now, I can't help but have a suspicion that Alexandra is the real mastermind behind Ranger's report. On the other hand, I think if it's the case, they would know about it being published and could come back to the server sooner. I am not sure of how much agency she had over the report in the end.

Regardless of that, Ranger is the one who has published the thing and she is the one responsible for it.

### Ranger


After reading previous sections, it should be clear. Ranger has made a report defaming us. And unlike An, who (I think) genuinely feels being my victim, Ranger doesn't have any circumstances explaining why she did it.

She has used a soup of random comments, without regarding their context or chronology to **rewrite history** in attempt to **paint a false narration** about us. [Chronological history of events](#Chronological-history-of-events) proves that Ranger's narration of us abusing An for months despite being told to stop is false and provided the chronologically correct history of events.

A soup of random comments without context and chronological order posted as evidence has been used as a tool to **discredit us**. Most of people reading the report will not try to extract screenshots from the soup, sort them in chronological order, search them in the server and read them in context. The "evidence" provided by Ranger needs to take a lot of effort to process it to make it show the fragment history of what happened and most of people won't be interested in doing such an effort. It's been an effective way to make Ranger's claims about us believable.

The most clear example of Ranger **lying** is the section of her report regarding things unrelated to the hugs/headpats stuff. In [Various things unrelated to headpats](#Various-things-unrelated-to-headpats) section of this document it was easy to prove without a doubt that none of the side accusations were true.

I'm not sure how much agency other members of tulpa.info staff had in her report. But the fact is that the report was endorsed by Pleeb later in the chat, also both Pleeb and Reguile have confirmed that they had read previous version of my response to it and they claimed there isn't anything wrong with Ranger's report after that.

Also, we have tried to reach Ranger after we the news about her report reached us (we weren't notified about it before or after publication). It's what our Sora (formerly Nao) said to Ranger before she got blocked:


I'm not going to ask Ranger for permission to publish her response... I will say that it was aimed to **minimize our thought and feelings** and **deny her doing anything wrong**. Some **compassionate-sounding words were used with ill intent** there too.

## How their abuse affected us?

In sections about An and Rangers being abusers I highlighted certain phrases.

> According to Very Well, gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the **abuser paints a false narrative** though lying and deceit. Gaslighting is carried out through several tactics including **lying, discrediting, minimizing, shifting blame, denying wrongdoing, saying nice things with ill intent, and rewriting history**.

It turned out that An, Alexandra and Ranger independently did to me almost all the things that Ranger said that gaslighting consists of.

I haven't talked about our feelings a lot in this document or at all. But the facts are that because of what we experienced from these people:

- We started doubting ourselves a lot. On multiple levels. We started doubting validity of our judgements and perception of reality.
- We have become insecure about many things. We started feeling not good enough for our existing friends and incapable of making new ones
- Making decisions and commiting to them have become hard for us
- We often felt disappointed in ourselves
- Constant confusion we faced made us question our intelligence
- We felt guilty and apologized too much
- Ranger's report and her response to us trying to reach her made us feel truly powerless.

A lot of things our abusers did to us fit into gaslighting and a lot of our feelings caused by that fit into feelings of people who have been gaslighted. I wouldn't like to go too far and say that we have been gaslighted though.

Also, Ranger's report said:
> Keep in mind that this is only revealing publicly available evidence and not all public displays of gaslighting behavior may have been found.

And so I'd like to mention in this section that I am also only publishing what's available in the server. Although to be fair, most of the abuse that An and Ranger did to us happened in public servers. Alexandra is another case but this document is not about it.

## Our **lack of** apologizes

This section in the former version of this document has been a section for us apologizing to tulpa.info staff for the thing we used to be convinced we did wrong.

~~I am aware that we are not saints in this case. Regardless of our intentions, our ignorance about An's circumstances have caused her to suffer. They never said straight about hugs, headpats etc. being their triggers but I could have deducted it from our interactions myself. Kanade could have left An alone too and abstain from acknowledging contradictory signals as permissions. Or just ask An to be sure **before** changing her approach and making her angry already.~~

~~So yeah, we are really sorry for our contribution to her getting hurt.~~

In the end I take it all back. We did nothing wrong to An. While we could have handled it better, sure, it's nothing to apologize for. It wasn't our ignorance that caused An to suffer but her dishonesty.

We are not responsible for An's problems with hugs, headpats or her other triggers. She is responsible for hiding this stuff and then suffering due to that. We were a scapegoat she made, not a source of her problems.

Kanade did nothing wrong with not being able to read inconsistent signals properly. She was still very careful, when she got a headpat from An, she didn't immediately assume it's okay to give it back to her.

After confronting An again, I don't really feel any regret about my unwilling contribution to her suffering. So I take my apologizes back. I have nothing to apologize for to An or other people, related to the case.

What about infiltrating tulpa.info for over a month? I obeyed the rules of conflict escalation, it was tulpa.info staff who hurt me first by publishing that bullshit report, my response was adequate and minimal in comparison to how I was hurt by the report alone. I haven't been doing anything wrong there anyway. On the contrary, I have been contributing to helping newbies, genuinely taking part in various discussions and even genuinely wanted to help Ranger with her guide-related mess. No apologize for it.

## Further perspective on our conflict

This is a message to Pleeb and the rest of tulpa.info staff.

- ~~I **demand** the post containing moderation report to be updated in a way that says that the former accusations about gaslighting, unsolicited friend requests, violating DMs, threatening to violate DMs, shaming target for having boundaries, aren't true.~~
- ~~I'd like to be officially apologized for accusations from the previous point in the new post in the same tread by Ranger who made this bullshit report and by Pleeb who endorsed it in the chat.~~
- ~~I'd like the core case of this report to be reviewed too. While we aren't saints, our faults are not as big as the spam of weak evidence is suggesting.~~
- ~~I don't care if you lift the ban or not, you can ban whoever you want from your server. But you don't have a right to defame people for things they didn't do, so look at the first point once again. If you comply to the first point, you probably won't hear about Mon, Kanade, Nao, Luna, Aki and our tulpas unrelated to this case anymore.~~

This offer from previous version of my response has expired. If you had just complied to the first point of the original response back then, I would have been satisfied and would have left you alone with that but now it's no longer the case.

In my eyes, our conflict looks like that:

- There has been a report defaming me (As I have proven in previous sections, it's a fact that it does contain obvious lies) published in tulpa.info forum from position of the staff. Ban is a secondary thing, I don't see it as an attack on me although it obviously made harder for me to make a meaningful response and clear my name. In my point of view you have right to ban anyone you want arbitrarily from your discord server. The sole cause of conflict is Ranger's report, I'd leave you alone if I was just banned.
- My reaction to the report:
- I have been infiltrating your server for over a month. Non-harmful deception seems to be an acceptable response to defamation.
- I formed the original response to the report and made sure it reached you, to give us a chance to solve the conflict.
- My response reached you, was utterly ignored, even considering the fact that it was proven without any doubts that at least some of accusations were completely made up.
- An returned to the server and exposed my identity there and is happily using your place again as her safe space. Her behavior has caused me to reconsider not making her relevant in this conflict and make this document.

Your last escalation was admitting to utterly ignoring facts stated in my response to Ranger's report, and letting An's gang do what they want, including bullying more people already.

My options that don't include escalating the problem in broader tulpa community are limited right now. I'd like to use the updated response as an opportunity for negotiation. But as I mentioned in previous section, my former offer is no longer valid.

1. At this point I won't be satisfied without the core problem of the report clarified as not being true as well. I used to believe that I am guilty of contributing to hurting An but now I think that I have been manipulated into believing that.
2. An and her gang must learn that they can't get what they want by "gaslighting" (as Alexandra was the one who introduced that term here) people.

At the moment I need **both** of the points above to be satisfied. Point 2. is not very precise, we should negotiate what to do with it.

In point 1. I demand clarifying the thing and official response, not silently deleting the report. I made sure [it's archived](https://web.archive.org/web/20221016204017/https://community.tulpa.info/topic/1428-moderator-reports/page/13/) and the evidence of Ranger's abuse won't likely disappear forever.

If we fail negotiations... I will feel obliged to warn people outside tulpa.info that:
- Staff of tulpa.info is actively participating in abusing people
- A mentally unstable or deceitful (or both) person turned tulpa.info into a safe space for her and her support group with staff's permission.

It might include sharing this document together with previous one and possible new ones in other tulpamancy-related servers.

In other words, for trying to ruin my reputation, I'll try ruining yours. Can't be more fair, can it? You might think of it as a form revenge and it's obviously true but I'm also genuinely concerned about other people getting hurt by your staff or people it's protecting. I've already seen more defamation of me and even using my name to bully people by An's gang in the server.

I've never used such an argument.


Here Anubis is bullying another member for his system tag similar to supposed my system tag. Supposed, as I have never been using system tags.

Also, another member has been harassed by Ranger before getting banned for defending us.


This is the evidence for Reguile reading(?) my response and ignoring it entirely. I was not writing about misunderstanding back then and I'm not writing about them now

And for Pleeb reading it:
I take back what I said back then about my actions causing An suffering of course, by the way.

**Really, if we can't solve this case between us, people from other servers will need to know that a member of a major community's staff has abused a person from position of the staff and it has been accepted by the rest of the staff. It's unacceptable to leave it like that. I won't let you go with that.**

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