# Valentine's day 2021 - the aftermath

## why would u get a hotel room? why not come to me?

especially if you knew mark wouldn't approve, and what he would do if he found out. this confuses me a bit:
- didn't he know u were going to sd with craig?
- why is that a big deal that u got a room?

## can i get one honest answer from u...

- **why do u think it's ok to let me suffer at your hands and why did u not leave last night?**
- what made u get a hotel room instead of come relieve my suffering?
- and friday?
- and wednesday?
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- ... *yet* when u left SD, u hit up craig at 3pm and offered to swoop him, and u were on the road within the hour. he wasn't suffering, he didn't even ask u. but u dropped everything and didn't even think to return my card on your way up. please just answer that.
- i've graciously provided u with shit so u never had to worry about running out for over a year. how could u then turn on me like this?
- if u woulda ran out up there and i had a sac waiting for u, i think u woulda been fine dropping shit and leaving and now even worse:
- ur going to take the oz i bought and smoke all your boyfriends out and not return *any* of it to me, leaving me not even a dollar towards a replacement sack when i was loaded before u left / and suck all their dicks but not *mine*?
- buy *them* food when *i* have none?
- give *them* rides when *i* have none?
- buy things *u* need when *i* have none?
- spend vday gambling *by yourself* when *i* woulda enjoyed it?
- i asked u to try to book us a hotel room and u got one for u an DJ prick?
- so can u please tell me why u think *any* of this is OK?
- why u did it?
- did u never love me?
- **if u can only say one thing id prefer to know why you decided to get a hotel room last night...**
- *but* more importantly lie/ghost after i repeatedly told u ghosting just causes unnecessary damage for all parties involved (and it *did*)...
- you know i'm up waiting for u and u hadn't even left tulare county
- does that not make u feel like shit?
- how about buying a juicy A&W meal for *craig* when *i* am eating canned food that rats wouldn't eat from the garage?
- and that money was *supposed* to be saved for my last white claw.

## Card unlocking

mark told me that u have been calling to unlock my card, so nice work.
- i knew u could do that, i just didn't think u would, or i would have canceled it a week ago.

## Your punishment seems harsh given that

the shitty fucked part is that i wasn't that mad at any of the above
- basically wrote it off even though i literally get *nothing* from u. i'm not even sugar-daddy level cuz at least they get ass.
- but the second i react (in a normal way, concerned and frustrated) to *your* abuse (**yes, ghosting is 100% considered abuse/torture and brainwave scans show it triggers the same feelings as physical torture**), it's as if u forgot how you completely took advantage of me in a complete menagerie of compounded schemes (don't lie, u dig my vocab) which resulted in **IMMENSE** pain and suffering, to a degree which i've honestly never been exposed and i'm very surprised i did not hang myself... yet.
- one would think that, other than an initial outbreak of anger, you would recall your evil deeds and how i reacted kindly and basically loving toward u -- despite my intense suffering -- and consider giving me a lesser sentence or forgiving me altogether.
- after all, this might cost u a *fraction* of the money you got from me, and money was the *least* of my concern.

### MEME TIME

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### SO, let's see how reactive abuse plays a role with us
is *this* abuse?
- me worrying about you not showing up where/when u said and no call no show. first logical step is find out if she is safe by contacting those who saw her last
- `concern, worry, uncertainty, love, fear`
- normal reaction, anyone would do this

or *this*:
- informing matt u will be leaving in an hour whenu u had absolutely no intent. instead, u get a hotel room with new dude and for whatever reason u decide, despite countless pleas by by matt not to lie/ghost, you hardly contact him and despite him asking multiple times, you avoid the question of where u are. matt anxiously awaits you and cleans his room etc. he then begs u to tell him if u arent coming so he can sleep. nothing.
- `ghosting, lying, promiscuous, secretive, poor expectation management, lack of empathy`
- not normal, sociopathic/narcssistic, complete disregard for their feelings and complete lack of respect, immature

the latter is abusive, former is not. i am merely reacting to your abuse, in a manner which does not fancy u because of the web of lies you have woven where u are scared people will figure out your get-down.

the clear solution here is: be upfront, dont ghost and dont lie. ill be less mad, u wont be mad cuz i wont go looking and we all win. if ur having that much trouble telling me upfront, it probably means it's shady as fuck and u should consider being a good person and not doing it.

### leaving me up staring at the candlelit bath i made for u on valentines day will go down in history as my saddest most let-down moment of my entire life

## Interview

and my interview on monday was hell, i don't think i got the job and i had it in the bag. too many sleepless nights with no shit and no food.

## Offer

### i recognize this moment as an extremely unique opportunity on multiple fronts

you have had an *insane* 3 months:
- ups and downs
- kids here and there and now gone
- holidays.
- multiple dramatic moves
- now u have a *3rd* lover, assuming u still love me

despite financial issues and stuff, at thanksgiving we were still **one family together**, having wholesome fun and dank food and overpriced drinks with my family.
- *but then*... he used his manipulation to lure u up there
- **3 months later here we are...**

*why bring this up? *

### BECAUSE I THINK DOPE HAS CAUSED ALL OF THIS

it causes:
- anxiety
- restlessness / perceived "boredom"
- paranoia (snoop)
- obsessive gambling and ghosting
- seeming
- sex/porn addiction and fantasies
- bickering and prolonged heated arguments
- infidelity/cheating
- insomnia and poor decision making -- due to days without sleep
- financial problems -- both due to itself and gambling
- overall poor health => lowered self-esteem => prone to abuse or abusing
- eventually it destroys the family from the inside out

### SEIZE this opportunity

you prolly cant hang with mark, craig will be at cousins, and i have very cheap rent in a farm-style home away from san diego (our hood), private room with our own bathroom and clean towels, bathtub, nice bed, clean clothes, projector for epic movietime, and overall stress-free.
- we can both turn our lives around starting tomorrow/today. i feel like u've forgot what being grounded feels like and what mindset u had when u were sober.

### What do ya say?

- and will you tell me if u have read [https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/lmkg0l/great_partners_do_exist_dont_settle/](this)?