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# System prepended metadata

title: How to Stop Self Pity MEGATHREAD

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# How to Stop Self Pity MEGATHREAD
Will organize into most useful/least generic and delete or expand on the unhelpful/too generic/inactionable ones

### Source 1
read 10/4
# Face Your Feelings 1
- Don't ask why or complain that life isn't fair 1
- Don't assume you've had it worse than others 1
- [Don't assume you've had it easier, are weak or dramatic](https://hackmd.io/@chloesprogramafterrehab/rJW-27Uzo) $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

You just have to feel the hurt, guilt, shame, or sadness you feel 1

# Recognize Your Warning Signs 1
- Are your thoughts getting more and more negative? 1
- Do they end in negative behavoirs? 1
- Negativity and inaction will cause you to self pity more 1

# Question Your Perception 1
- How are your emotions clouding your reality? 1
- Are they causing black-and-white thinking? $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Stop Using "Never", "Always", or "Definitely"
$ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- Painting the future in certainty leads to impossible standards, self-sabotage, or a negative outlook no matter the outcome, even if its the one you wanted $ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- Ask yourself if EVERYTHING in your life ALWAYS went wrong. I'm sure you can find some positives in the past, present, and the future. 1 $ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- Try to not speak of negative outcomes, imagine the guilt and regret you might experience if it happens $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Stop Complaining About Things That Haven't Happened Yet
$ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- It is really hard when you are upset, but ask if you'd rather not have what you are complaining about it at all. Make it real. As if it is leaving you right now. Are you scared or worried or sad? Than try to appreciate it or them instead of complaining or treating them poorly $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Challenge Your Inner Critic
$ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- If you start to think you can't do something, take it as a challenge 1
- Use prior experiences, compliments, interactions, and achievements to counter these thoughts $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Remind Yourself of the Time Your Wasting 1
- Every second you wasted pitying yourself, you lost a second you could have been doing something to make yourself happy $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Remember What You Are Grateful For 1
- Take a moment to really appreciate something in your life. Think how your life would be worse if it changed or disappeared. Be happy that it hasn't 1
- Don't do it in a sarcastic, manipulative, or mocking manner. If you do it in a way to make others feel bad or to make fun of being grateful you are not practicing gratitude $ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- Words come cheap, but there's a penny for your thoughts. Don't just say it automatically. Think it through. $$ORIGINALORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Help Others 1
- Seeing someone need help with something I can help them with always makes me check my mood, at least for a minute. Look around and see if anyone needs a hand $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Don't Complain, At Least Outloud.
1 $ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- My favorite time for company is when I am miserable, but I always feel so horrible and full of guilt after they come over. Try to keep your thoughts to yourself so you don't bring others down or feel remorse later $ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- Not complaining outloud is also not as gratifying, so you will hopefully get bored and move on sooner than if you opened your mouth. 1 $ORIGINALTHOUGHT

# Look On The Bright Side 1

# Keep Trucking On
1 $ORIGINALTHOUGHT
- Each time you prevent or reverse self-pity you get a little better at doing it. 1
- Even though it may seem tough, the world is a great place, especially in recovery. Just keep doing the next best thing.

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### Source 2
Accessed 10/4/2023
# Self-Pity & Depression
Some self-pity is normal

Gets confused for depression but might have either but not the other

# Problem With It
You miss the forest for the trees, hard to see past it to the good luck we've had

**Happens when we don't get our way or what we think is an appropriate reaction to our hard work**

"There's no point", Energy suck

# Validation
need for va


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### Resources
Source 1: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201505/9-ways-get-past-self-pity Accessed 10/4/2023
Source 2: https://psychcentral.com/blog/self-pity-to-self-compassion Accessed 10/4/2023