# What to Do In the Face of a 2023 Recession

## The State of the Economy
- The U.S. economy is not doing so hot right now. The state of things is actually so severe, that as of 2020, 49.5% of all U.S. adults between the ages of 18 and 29 were living with their parents.^{[[1](https://qz.com/nearly-half-of-americans-age-18-to-29-are-living-with-t-1849882457)]} For context, this is a higher rate of intergenerational cohabitation than was seen even in the Great Depression eighty years ago. The need to lean on parents for security makes sense however, when considering the fact that the average American only has ~$4,500 in savings and that more than a third of Americans would be unable to cover a $400 emergency.^{[[2](https://www.fool.com/the-ascent/research/average-savings-account-balance/)]} This financial insecurity is even further exacerbated by the fact that Americans possess a staggering average of above $90,000 in debt.^{[[3](https://www.cnbc.com/select/average-american-debt-by-age/)]}

## The Outlook
- In the face of these and similar statistics, the outlook for the average American falls somewhere between uninspiring and uncertain. Birth rates are the lowest they've been since the 70's, and it is likely the product of financial instability, not a decrease in desire.^{[[4](https://news.osu.edu/falling-birth-rate-not-due-to-less-desire-to-have-children/)]} American uncertainty over having children is paralelled by the belief of more than half of renters in the U.S. that they will never be able to own a home.^{[[5](https://www.creditkarma.com/about/commentary/is-the-american-dream-of-homeownership-dead-it-is-for-more-than-half-of-americans)]} These facts are depressing, but in the wake of the global disruption caused by COVID-19, they're not altogether surprising. It might be natural to think that the global economy would be ready to make a full recovery, but there are those who believe that in the near term, conditions are only going to get worse.
- Even outside of the usual headline fodder from Elon Musk in predicting that the car market could produce, "Potentially the biggest financial crisis ever," ^{[[6](https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1603811376681451520)]} we see other billionaires urging caution as well, with Larry Fink heralding an, "end to the globalization we have experienced over the last three decades," ^{[[7](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/24/business/dealbook/globalization-fink-marks.html?smid=tw-share)]} and Jeff Bezos cautioning consumers against large purchases in order to, "remove some risk from the equation." ^{[[8](https://moneywise.com/investing/stocks/hold-onto-your-money-jeff-bezos-just-issued-a-financial-warning)]} Predictions range from a "lowdown that will ultimately be termed a recession" as per U.S. Bank Asset Management^{[[9](https://www.davidson.edu/news/2023/01/05/experts-agree-2023-likely-bring-slowdown-will-it-be-soft-landing-or-crash)]}, to a "98.1%" chance of global recession from Ned Davis Research^{[[10](https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/28/economy/recession-global-economy)]}, all the way to declaring a risk of, "pushing the global economy into the Great Depression," from ARK Invest CEO Cathy Wood.^{[[11](https://markets.businessinsider.com/news/stocks/boldest-market-predictions-2023-stocks-tesla-stock-crash-great-depression-2022-12)]} Regardless of vocabulary, the consensus seems to be that 2023 will be a year of of recession, ^{[[12](https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/02/business/global-recession-fears-explained)]} with some even claiming this is certain enough to even be considered as by design.^{[[12](https://www.employamerica.org/blog/the-fed-is-trying/)]}

## What to Do
- The usual advice for a recession is pretty cut-and-dried. Pay off debts, set a budget, bolster your emergency funds, work on establishing job security... These are all the standard prescriptions, but here are some less common pieces of advice for how to prepare for this coming year's economy.

### 1. Start Hoarding
- Gold, silver, bullets, nudie mags, toilet paper, and bottle caps are all great candidates for establishing your post-collapse wealth store. It's important to be ahead of the curve.

### 2. Start an OnlyFans
- The average content creator on OnlyFans makes less than $145 dollars a month, but that's $145 dollars you're going to need when that's the cost of a tank of gas. And let's face it, that amount is probably more than what your dignity is worth. Which brings us to our next tip:

### 3. Prepare Your Anus
- Usually it's best to do an enema around an hour or two before getting your booty-hole absolutely obliterated by stagnating wages and inflating consumer goods prices. If you're worried about the damage caused by the economy wrecking your shit, we suggest a nice silicon-based lubricant, and maybe some medical gloves for digital stimulation before fiscal reality rides down your old dirt road until it can't no more.

### 4. Wait for the Chill Touch of Death's Inevitable Embrace
- Try to make yourself comfortable, and remember that there's only one way out of this experience called life.

## Conclusion
- I hope that helped alleviate your concerns over the 2023 economy and how to prepare for the expected recession. If you found this content useful, be sure to smash that like button, pound the subscribe button, and brutally assault my Patreon.

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