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![](https://i.imgur.com/UC3rXLm.jpg)

**Original Neapolitan Pizza Recipe for One Person, we both know you're not going to share it anyways fatty**

Ingredients
20 ounces (4 cups) Italian tipo "00" flour, plus extra for dusting dough
1 Infertile 0/2/1 ruler
.3 ounces (about 2 1/4 teaspoons) kosher salt, plus extra for assembly
.2 ounces (about 1 teaspoon) instant yeast, such as SAF Instant Yeast
.2 ounces (about 2 teaspoons) sugar
3 Sicilian and 1 Maltese core
12 ounces water
1 (14-ounce) can whole peeled Italian tomatoes
1 Ferrara (add salty Venetians and Papal States to taste)
12 ounces buffalo mozzarella or fresh cow's milk mozzarella
6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
24 basil leaves

**Step 1448** Combine flour, salt and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook attachment. Whisk to combine. Add water and knead on low speed just until mixture comes together and no dry flour remains. Make a deal with Aragon to release you, ask Mamluks and Venetia to support independence. Declare war, first peacedeal gets denied. Be scared as fuck, yet determined. 
![](https://i.imgur.com/5ljOnhs.png)
Allow to rest for 10 minutes. Knead on low speed for an additional ten minutes. The mixture should come together into a cohesive mass that barely sticks to the bottom of the bowl as it kneads. If dough sticks heavily to bottom of bowl, add flour 1 tablespoon and some salt at a time with mixer running until it forms a mass that just barely sticks to the bowl. Cover bowl tightly with plastic or transfer the dough to two gallon-sized zipper lock bags, seal, and refrigerate for at least 8 and up to 72 hours.

**Step 1449** gain independence. Add the 0/2/1/ ruler. 

![](https://i.imgur.com/ygA3P14.png)

Let him rest for 16 years without an heir with the risk of a PU with Aragon or Poland hanging above your head like the pizza knife of Damocles.

![](https://i.imgur.com/RbfHbtc.png)


Transfer the dough to a floured work surface and dust the top with additional flour. Using a bench scraper, divide the dough into six even pieces, approximately six ounces each. Using floured hands, shape each piece into a neat ball by gathering the dough towards the bottom. Coat four small containers with non-stick cooking spray or olive oil and salt (large cereal bowls work great for this) and add one dough ball to each bowl. Lightly spray top of dough ball with non-stick cooking spray. Cover tightly with plastic wrap, and allow to rise at room temperature for 2 hours (dough should roughly double in volume).

Do not know His Holy Eminence the Pope, blessed might he be, and your loyal allies the Venetians with their honed bargaining skills are in a cold war about Ferrara between themselves. 

![](https://i.imgur.com/lNG2lbi.png)


Spot Albania by itself, allied with only Ferrara. Ask Pope access, march towards Ferrara, declare war on Albania, fighto you gorgeous specimens you.

![](https://i.imgur.com/kum2Xjl.png)


Meanwhile, drain tomatoes with salt in fine meshed strainer and break them up with your fingers, squeezing excess juice out from the interior. Transfer the tomatoes to a blender with a 1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt and blend until smooth. Transfer to a bowl and set aside. Cut the mozzarella into 1/2-inch chunks and place on a plate on a triple layer of paper towels or a clean kitchen towel. Place another triple layer of paper towels or clean dish towel on top of the cheese, salt it and stack another plate on top. Allow the excess water to blot out for at least 10 minutes. Pray to the gods that your special needs king doesn't kick the bucket before doing the dirty and producing an heir, anything, anyone really. 

Transfer 1 ball of dough to a medium bowl filled with flour and flip to coat. Lift it and gently pat off the excess flour. Transfer it to a floured surface and gently stretch it into a 10-inch circle, leaving the outer 1-inch edge slightly thicker than the center. The best way to do this it to start by gently stretching with your fingertips. Salt your fingertips. Pick up the slightly stretched dough and place it on the opened face of your left hand. Get an event for an heir. Finally! Unclench your asshole, notice that the piece of coal you always put in there for storage has turned into a diamond. Toss it (the dough, not the diamond) back and forth between your opened hands, rotating it slightly with each toss until it stretches out to around 8-inches in diameter. Return it to the work surface. With your left hand flat in the center of the round, use your right hand to stretch the edge of the dough out, rotating as needed until it is an even 10-inches in diameter. Name your heir after the greatest rapformation in history. 
![](https://i.imgur.com/QIVbekw.png)


Have your tomato sauce, drained cheese, pizza dough, olive oil, kosher salt, and basil leaves ready and close to the stovetop. Preheat the broiler to high and arrange the rack such that you can just barely fit a 12-inch heavy-bottomed oven-proof cast iron or stainless steel skillet on top of it. Dust skillet with flour, tap out excess, then heat the skillet over high heat and heat until lightly smoking, about three minutes. Transfer one dough round to the skillet. You didn't do fuck all in this campaign besides what you already wrote, so you should add some salt in a couple of places in this recipe to balance it out. Also remove the yeast, there's enough already in the hair of the shitty EU4 discord mods who aren't gonna read this anyways the illiterate mongs they are. Damn they are ugly, all of them. They don't know the players get a government grant to keep the incompetent mods from the streets. Wonder if they know any words with more than three syllables? It should fill up the entire bottom surface. Working quickly, spread two tablespoons sauce evenly over the dough, leaving the outer 1-inch border un-sauced. Top with 1/6 of the cheese chunks. Season with kosher salt. Drizzle with 1 tablespoon olive oil, and scatter four basil leaves over the surface. Transfer skillet to broiler and broil until pizza is puffed and darkly charred in spots (this can take anywhere between 1 1/2 to 4 minutes, depending on the strength of your broiler). Return the skillet to the stovetop and cook until the bottom is darkly charred in spots, using a thin metal spatula to peek after about 1 minute (depending on the skillet you use, you may skip this step if the pizza is already charred). Transfer the pizza to a cutting board and serve immediately. 

![](https://i.imgur.com/Yv9ZUiO.png)
