# Resources on Relationship Elements & Related Concepts
To complement an exploration of [relationship elements](https://hackmd.io/SEkACCZFRkmQ6xDeuqmiIA), the following is a sample of other approaches to examining various relationship elements and related concepts. Far from exhaustive, this list is intended to illustrate that existing resources are also available in a range of different formats. Also see my various [influences](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/HkqFzM-GD).

## Love as a non-exclusive practice
- On the potential for the concept of multi-love to change the world, [*Playing Monogamy*, by Simon(e) van Saarloos](http://www.simonevansaarloos.nl/in-english/playing-monogamy/) (a 2019 English translation of *Het monogame drama* (2015)).
- [*Relationship hierarchies: Defending queer friendships, community and being single*, article by Iris Lee (Archer, 2018)](http://archermagazine.com.au/2018/08/relationship-hierarchies-friendships/)
- [*All about Love*](https://archive.org/details/allaboutlove00bell) - book, by bell hooks (2000)
- *What Love Is And What It Could Be* (2017) book, and *Labels Of Love* podcast, by [Carrie Jenkins](https://www.carriejenkins.net/).
- [*Relationship Anarchy - Occupy Intimacy!* - monograph, by Juan Carlos Pérez Cortés (2022)](https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/juan-carlo-perez-cortez-relationship-anarchy), available in Spanish, Catalan, and English.
- [*Forget romantic love. Let’s celebrate (and practice) a different kind of love instead*](https://thecorrespondent.com/294/forget-romantic-love-lets-celebrate-and-practise-a-different-kind-of-love-instead/351442660800-0ba9fb8b) - article by OluTimehin Adegbeye (The Corrospondent, 2020)
> "When we choose love, we choose to practice curiosity, care for ourselves and others, the responsible use of our power for collective benefit, and undiscriminating respect."
- Commitment as a non-exclusive practice article by [Jenny Wilson (2019)](http://loveoffscript.co.uk/blog/commitment/)
- Commitment as a non-exclusive practice video by [Conner & Brittany (2020)](https://youtu.be/vgjBr4z8jps)

## Navigating external constraints on relationship dynamics
- On how the sociopolitical use of exclusivity as a proxy for relationship 'seriousness' causes harm - an [article on Canadian border control during the pandemic, by Eve Rickett and Carrie Jenkins (2020)](https://everickert.medium.com/canada-defines-love-exclusively-63bd57e4ac3d)
- [Slow Relating](https://www.rewriting-the-rules.com/self/slow-relating/), by Meg-John Barker (2020)

## Consent culture
- [Consent Wizardary](https://consentwizardry.com/) education resources and workshops, including the [Yes to No Spectrum Mini Workbook ZINE](https://consentwizardry.com/course-registration/hard-cover-yes-to-no-spectrum-mini-workbook-zine)
- [Consent Poster](https://www.patreon.com/posts/32836573) by Tikva Wolf (2020)
- [Everyday Consent](https://www.youtube.com/c/EverydayConsent/videos) a vlog by Jessi Librande.
- [Collection of recorded classed on consent practices from 'an integrative, somatic, anti-binary, trauma-informed, abolitionist, pro-SW approach to consent education'](https://consentwizardry.thinkific.com/) by Mia Schachter at Consent.Wizadry
- [Consent at an Orgy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WnxIHBcbsw), a poem by Hal Simons (2019) - starting ~6min into the live-recorded set.
- also see the conversational tools below.

## Limits, boundaries, agreements, & rules
- [Tips on How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Friendships and Relationships from a Clinical Psychologist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zb9L4XQNwPw) by Dr Han Ren
- [Boundaries & Consent - a digital workbook](https://consentwizardry.com/consent-boundary-classes-workshops-merchandise/digital-consent-amp-boundaries-workbook) by Mia Schachter at Consent.Wizadry
- Multiamory Episodes on boundaries [178 (2018)](https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/178-basics-boundaries) and rules vs. agreements [227 (2019)](https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/227-rule-vs-agreements)
- [*Anti-rule boundary club*](https://polyamorousblackgirl.com/diary/antiruleboundaryclub) by Alicia Bunyan-Sampson on the Polyamorous Black Girl blog (2019)
- [*Empowered Boundaries: Expectations, Rules & Agreements*](https://www.patreon.com/posts/empowered-rules-38800702) by Nancy Shanteau (2020)
- Morgan Thorne on [*Limits & Boundaries in BDSM*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo9MzNoQJZk&list=PLIbQs99uipM3opKDv4Ybxiix1IhWJQgO-&index=47&t=0s)
- Communicating boundaries in the context of [Neurodivergent Dating in Polyamory](https://omgpolyamory.com/2020/08/13/neurodivergent-dating-in-polyamory/) - by Lucas Weeks (2020).
- [How Boundaries Increase Our Empathy & Compassion, 2018](https://www.legends.report/brene-brown-how-to-set-boundaries-to-increase-your-compassion-for-others/) by Brené Brown

## Compersion
- [What is compersion?](https://www.whatiscompersion.com/) by Marie I. Thouin
- [Multiamory podcast episode 285 (2020)](https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/285-compersion-research-with-marie-thouin) with Marie Thouin interviewed about qualitative research on how this concept is being used in the context of intimate relationships (including a discussions of the state and trait based elements of compersion experiences, and of various contributing factors at the individual relational, and/or social scale, and of when it can be co-experienced with jealousy).

## Support structures
- [Support as a relationship tool](https://youtu.be/OPA3y4N053s), by Conner & Brittany (2018),
- [Ways to Request Support](https://medium.com/@Autumn_Elizabeth/ways-to-request-support-f8fa17b4f5bc), by Autumn Elizabeth (2019)
- Routes of Safety Model, an [article Gabrielle Smith (2020)](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/routes-of-safety-model#What-are-the-Routes-of-Safety,-and-how-can-they-aid-relationships?) based on an [instagram post by Jake Ernst (2020)](https://www.instagram.com/p/B-LVMDUDp6U/)

## Relationship transitions
- Relationship fluidity on [Poly Musings (2019)](http://mind-crush.com/2019/06/committed-to-you-on-fluidity-in-relationships)
- Relationship transitions with [Conner & Brittany (2020)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la8lf0U618g)
- Kathy Labriola on [Navigating Polyamory Breakups](https://podcloud.fr/podcast/sex-out-loud-with-tristan-taormino/episode/kathy-labriola-on-navigating-polyamory-breakups)- on Sex Out Loud March 2020

## Describing relationships
- A reflection on the limits & possibilities of relationship descriptions used by social networking sites, by [Craig Ambrose (2007)](https://buildingthesex.wordpress.com/2007/11/28/social-networking-with-non-binary-relationships/)
- [*The joy of polyamory*, by Anne Hunter (Archer 2014)](http://archermagazine.com.au/2014/10/the-joy-of-polyamory/), highlights the value of finding terms for articulating ways of relating outside monogamy norms and how much visibility of these options matter.
- An argument for the value of identity markers by [Alli Kirkham, (2016)](everydayfeminism.com/2016/07/my-identity-more-like-a-garden/) (made in terms of individual identities but, extrapolating, could also apply to arguments for having terms for describing specific relationship dynamics - especially when those whose relationships aren't recognised by their broader communities).
- On coming-out as polyamorous - [*Polyamory and the mirror on the wall* Paul Dalgarno (Archer 2020)](http://archermagazine.com.au/2020/10/polyamorory-the-mirror-on-the-wall/)

## What next?
- Explore ways to practice being intentional within *all* different types of relationships
- [Customising Intentional Approaches to All Relationships](/YehZs2lFRk-u5v_iw1ej-w)
- [Friendships are Relationships](/WSyv06XHSuuzLGJA6B6zFg)
- [Relationships at work](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/working-together)
- [Four Pre-emptive Discussions for Intentional Collaborations](/_VFSZEB1TN6_OvZ76Ax0Ew)
- Return to [Overview: Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships](/vbm_M2anSiWsDhJkVY6BgQ)

## Attribution & Contact
See [attribution notes and contact details](/hiL09et4RMebuQWFyTN7uQ)
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