# Feliz's arbitrary ranking based on how i feel about people and also on the country and also on just whatever man i don't even know but it does makes sense, well i think.

That title is too large but we'll leave it like that, well without further ado here's the list.

If you're not here idk your country sorry, or depending on the player, not sorry.

Yes i'm looking at you spilberk.

Oh right, and if you want to know wtf are the traits because you don't play ck2 first of all get it it's free smh second of all [here's the list of traits](https://ck2.paradoxwikis.com/Traits), most of the tier list is serious and the ones who aren't well, i think they're obvious enough.

This time the preface is over i promise.

# S Tier

**Padishah Valten of The Sublime Porte**


What can we say about our greastest ally that hasn't be said before? about his piousness? about his unmatched power? about his kindness and charity? he has been a terror for his enemies and a bulwrk for his friends, never one to be double faced and you cannot help bt to reciprocate toward him, his loyalty, skill at arms and splendor make the Sublime Porte live up to it's name, all hail the Padishah and may his reign last for as long as our friendship, that is, forever.

**King Maniacaloctopus14 of Aragon**


The victor in Iberia this man has been a bulwark in the west for christendom, finishing the reconquista and unifying the weak kingdoms of Iberia under his banner, to never be invaded again, he has demonstrated his piousness by striking down the pope in Rome who was being controlled by the french and by giving our order the island of malta, a great platform from where to attack the heathens, truly it is a great feeling to know christendom has such a great champion on it's corner.

# A Tier

**Khagan T. Undershield of Uzbek**


A powerful horselord, the mightiest of them all if the rumours coming from the east are true, all die on his wake, men women and children, he has carved a path from the plains of greater Asia to the Indies with millions of peoples dying for his never ending greed and need for power and destruction, god save those poor souls for we cannot.

**Kaghan Cu Chulain of the Golden Horde**


This horselord is an ally of or own friend in Constantinople and a terrifying warlord if the accounts we've received from the east are to be believed, taking part on the destruction of the late Muscovian and Lithuanian Kingdoms and destroying other lesser horse lords with the terrifying power of their cavalry, although no threat to us for their horses fear the salted war of the seas others in christianity might not have the same luck, we shall pray for their souls.

**Emperor Purple Lurple of the Swahili on the Swahili coast**


I have never even seen anybody from this mythical man's realm, but the people in the Rassids and Abyssinia speak of him as a frightening warlord, one who can wield the pen as skillfully as the spear for they have told me of the untold riches his empire possesses and of his skilled warfare against another unknown tribe to the west of him in the deepest parts of the jungle, a heathen he might be but one that can be converted to the one true god, and he wouuld be all the better for it.

# B Tier

**Sultan Byzantic of the Rassids**


The man in charge of the Rassids is a bit misterious for us, as we barelly knew of his existance until his troops showed up and beated the Mamluks and their vassals into submission by themseles barely breaking a sweat, as we had taken into ourselves to retake the holy land we thought the Sultan would be hostile however he has been friendly enough toward us, offering us a peace branch that we will gladly accept as we have no designs to continue east toward Arabia.

**Serene Doge Dream of Venice**


The doge is a man who contrasts with the average picture of the ruler of Venice, a Doge is normally pictured as a ruthless shell of a man consumed by greed and the need for power. The doge Dream is none of those things, a charitable man of good disposition he has ben friendly with both christian and gentile, supporting our order in our hour of need for no gain for himself. He is no slouch at warfare however, taking a good part of italy and the HRE for himself and holding to his posession in the east through skilled diplomacy and force of arms.

**Sultan Zeelah of Morocco**


The sultan is a dangerous man who has helped us for his own interest before in the conflict against the Tunisians, he was a great warrior but we cannot trust him as he reneged on our deal for the war on Tunis.

I will not judge the man further as he might have had a lapse in judgement but i will not count him as a friend either.

**King Juhler99 of Abyssinia**


Hailing from the lands of Prester John this mighty warlordd and crusder has helped the knights on their crusade for the holy land, albeit indirectly. It is sid that he took on the might of the Mamlukians and took their lands twice, a feat unmatched.

His people seem to practice an heretical sect of our own religion but it is close enough to ours to at least be given the benefit of the doubt, besides, we could always use someone of his warring power.
# C Tier

**King Joe of France**


The King of France is a difficult figure to talk about, for all intents and purposes he is that fabled coin that has genius and madness on either side, for his coutry is a mismanaged mess that at the same time somehow stays stable and expanding, like a fascinating controlled demolition, still, his allies block the way of expansion and the king himself is unpredictable, maybe the house of cards will fall soon?

**Grandmaster Feliz Desdichado of the Knights**


This is me, the Grandmaster of the Knights, i would like to say our country is the mightist of realms but that would be a lie, what wouldn't be a lie wold be saying that we find ourselves in a favoraable position, with a powerful ally and friendly relations with most of the people's in around the Mediterranean sea, our powerful navy and brave knights make us if not a threat at least an unsavory opponent that is not worth the hassle to fight, at least for now.

**Velly, CEO of Switzerland**


A brilliant man for both bussiness and warfare, Velly has proven his worth by surviving this far on the cutthroat realm that is the Hre, even coming ot ahead and expanding at the cost of his weaker or less skillful neighbours, a fine head of state and according to our best knowdledge a good ally, good relationships with him are advised.

# Jux Tier

**Jux Jux of Juxonic Jux**


18 naked teutons in the showers at Konigsberg!
Big, hard, throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked!
18 naked teutons wanting to be fucked!
Teutons in the showers at Konigsberg!
On their knees wanting to suck Teuton cocks!
The Teutonic Order really rocks!

Hot, hard, buff Teutons, their cocks throbbing hard!
18 more wild Teutons out in the yard!
Big, bulging cocks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Konigsberg!
Big, hard, throbbing cocks ramming heathen butt!
Like a breed of ram wanting to rut!
Big, hard, throbbing cocks getting sucked real deep!
Heathens even getting fucked in their sleep!
The Teutonic Order ... it ROCKS!
Teutons love big hard throbbing cocks!

# D Tier

**Duke Flemish Clone Trooper of Burgundy**


A cunning man living in the coast of frisia, his only claim to fame is his alliance with the King of France, which he got by using all of his devilish charm and deceit. Otherwise this duke is unremarkable in all senses, but be careful to not underestimate him for there's always a knife ready to be plunged into your ribs whenever you turn your back at him.

# F Tier

**Sultan Alex999ar of Tunis**


The sultan of Tunis was one of the mightiest corsairs and warlords this world has ever seen, his might in battle both on water and on land are the subject of legends, his might knew no equal as he terrorized the seas of europe. That is, until he met the Grandmaster of the knights, who led a glorious coalition to defeat the otherwise invincible warlord, now he lies dead at the bottom of the sea, his body and kingdom might be gone but his legend remains.