--- # Hello Miriyam! --- Let me introduce myself. I am your Sinterklaas this year. --- --- Unlike what they told you in those Dutch speaking schools, I come from Turkey. Specifically, I come from Demre. Here's my place. ---  --- Well, that was before the Italians stole my bones and put them in Bari. I know that part of the story, but it remains a mystery to me how the Dutch decided that Bari is in Spain. --- Some Western Europeans think I look like this:  --- Cause you know, all Greek men look like they were born in Brabant and sport a well groomed hipster beard. --- In reality, honey, I look like this:  --- Now, I know that I am supposed to remain anonymous, which I obviously did.  --- and I am supposed to rhyme, --- but the available patterns of rhyming were too unsophisticated for my Greek taste.  --- Also, I understand that I am supposed to pull your leg or poke at your deepest weaknesses... --- And, really this whole thing is supposed to be about you. So, let me try! --- I understand that you are into revolutions. --- In fact, you are even into armed revolutions.  --- Fine, but I thought, while we are all a little confinement fatigued, and the next revolution might just take a moment! --- You may need something to keep you afloat. --- Now, my hips do not have the power to make sure it will work out, and yes, this is a capitalist spiel, but please accept your gift for this year. ---- (phew, I just rhymed) --- Happy new year bitches and witches!  Our hips will free us!!