### _{_{<div class=pull-left>*Monday, April 10, 2022*</div>}}_{_{<div class=pull-right>*রবিবার ২৭শে চৈত্র ১৪২৮ বঙ্গাব্দ*</div>}}

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We do dream of many things but it is sort of hard to execute and keep holding onto them till the end. There might be negative influences coming towards us to scatter because everyone won’t know what that dream means to you, only a few might get you. So here is our featured author, who has shown us the path, the struggle, and the confidence to stick with it.

As the author said, ***Put in the hard work, Be consistent, and dream, my friends!***

Author - @trifecta-tt - [I Have A Dream](https://peakd.com/hive-166408/@trifecta-tt/i-have-a-dream)

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We are also delighted to announce two honorable mentions of the week.

|Authors|Highlights|
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|**@attentionneeded**|**[Is life difficult or unfair?](https://peakd.com/hive-123046/@attentionneeded/is-life-difficult-or-unfair)**|
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|**@mustavi**|**[আমার মা এবং আত্মউপলব্ধি](https://peakd.com/hive-190212/@mustavi/4ku41g)**|

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-@surrealfia

He was shuffling through the pages of the book, looking at the words. The words that could help him understand. But he didn't read, only stared blankly at them.

It's another self-help book, one of the many he had in his collection, but he's keeping them as souvenirs, merely souvenirs. The books didn't help. He was working his way around, and he knew what he had to do; the books said it all, but it wasn't a book specifically written for him. The generalized words didn't get through to him; they didn't tell him how to become selfish. He was too selfless to become anything otherwise.

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*It couldn't be helped as he was selfless by nature.*

He gave away so much of himself that only little of him was left; he was drained. And yet he'd give away all that was left of him without even blinking. His close one suggested he should start putting himself first. It will help him, *they said* and he felt doing just that, *for them*. An act of selfishness for those who care about him, does that even count as selfishness?! He wondered.

But, he would give it a thought, even if it was selflessness shrouded in the veil of selfishness. So, he started practising.

*Start with saying* **NO.**

He always had this urge to help people, even going out of his way and even when it seemed he couldn't help at all. It was always hard for him to say *NO*; regardless of how outlandish the request was, he could never turn anyone away. He didn't realize how much people fed on his giving nature and drained him dry, so he continued being his selfless self. His friends suggested he should practice saying *No* when the request is too far out of his reach; even they themselves started to cooperate with him in doing so.

*Act of selfishness isn't equal to becoming self-centred.*

He has never been self-centred, and he always thought that being selfish is wrong; that fueled his giving nature. But when his friends sat him down and talked to him about it, he realized he could be a little selfish and think about his needs without being self-centred.

*Selfish people not only think about themselves, but they also choose to care about only a handful of people.*

Now jotted a few clogs in his mind. He had this notion that selfish people are only out to sustain themselves and are very uncaring towards others. Supposedly, not everything is what it seems. They just limit themselves to being at the beck and call of everyone. But the ones who are close to them; they don't hold back in helping out. He never knew how to care for just a handful of people. His bleeding heart didn't allow it, but now what? Can he actually limit himself to caring for a few people? He can try.

***Maybe becoming selfish isn't such a bad thing.***

Photo credit: [Wei Ying](https://peakd.com/@zayedsakib)

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-@riz611

There comes a time in life, when we must choose; prioritize ourselves or the many others out there.

You'll come face to face with such situations time and time again as you keep on growing. Most of the time, it's an easy choice, really, depending on where we are in life, of course, but it's usually us who end up complicating things for ourselves. We usually go out of our way just to be tagged as *"the nice guy"*, in return, we're handed a badge and a cookie for the effort.

Even though sometimes we just know that we might not live up to the promises of ours. We know we're not capable of being the saviour here. Yet, we decide to participate and give it our all, because we don't wanna be tagged as the bad guy in someone else's story.

Soon enough, we just have a failed task in our hands or maybe just an average result. A result that doesn't even make much of a difference. On top of that, we contrive some extra hurdles for ourselves, which then end up slowing us down in our own path.

I believe there are both good and bad when it comes to selfishness. Simply put, *"good selfishness"* is when you choose to prioritize yourself, your needs and your routine first. Make sure that you, yourself, don't have to face any hindrances when it comes to helping another. Also, when you know that the task at hand does not fall under the line of skills you specialize in and are an expert in, you still decide to "give it a try" just because you're the *"yes-man"*. Chances are, a direct *NO* would've helped out the person even more. You could've just simply linked the person up with someone else, someones who's the perfect "man for the job", maybe?

The bad type of selfishness should be a no-brainer for us all. It's the type of people who just do it all for themselves. Even if they are capable and are the perfect candidate for the job, chances are, they won't even bother to step up. They love being under the spotlight, especially after taking that spot quite forcefully from another. It's always about them; I'd say a bit of narcissism is always in action there. They can never take no for an answer. And if you do say no, then you automatically become the enemy or simply *"the hater"* in their lives. The word "hater", it's so common nowadays, and there's undoubtedly a reason behind it. Why? Take a guess; maybe you'll know why it's becoming more commonly used in most people's lives, haha.

All I really want to say is, that no matter who or how you were in the past. You could've been the most giving and most caring out of the bunch, or maybe you were the most selfish and callous one, the type of person who couldn't care less about others. Whatever or however your past may have been, you surely will know when its time when the time comes. You'll have to choose between what's right and what's wrong, prioritizing yourself and putting your own life first. It all may sound very selfish, but if you want proper growth, then a tad bit of selfishness is much needed in life. And trust me when I say this, that little bit of selfishness is sufficient and will surely go a long way.

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-@hushbutton

The thought came into my mind literally from nothing. I have come up with a conclusion that simply states how selfies I was, am and most probably will stay so in the near future. I also felt that there is no shame or dishonour in that.

We have a general idea of the notion called selfishness, and it's seen as a negative act and sometimes as the worst! But we give little concern about the fact that the day we win the fight with millions and conquer our mother's womb and thus be born, we become a practitioner of selfishness.

However, we should not mix up the subtle difference between being selfish and of becoming selfish. The day people started gathering around and trying to create a social affair or the group culture we see now, it's back then that people began practising these.

(Survival instinct is the base turning factor that drives people to perform the deadliest selfish act they need to perform. Mare hollow judgement surely couldn't justify what I have put into account. But for justification, we consider it like justice is only justified by a justified law. How come! Makes me wonder about it! It should be the conscience instead!)

The air we breathe, the food we eat, and the privilege we get can also be put under the same zoom to find selfishness in them. If a selfish act has a noble cause behind it, from my point of view, it isn't a selfish act either. Only we are giving it the name, and it might be called another glorious name that we could create.

Love, compassion, honour, gratitude, freedom or even beauty! Debates do not end here. In this super capitalist race that makes us crazy, it should be questioned. A small selfish act of an individual can destroy the whole human race within seconds. Sensible power dynamics and abrogating hegemonic approaches can mitigate the higher risk factors.

However, I don't know if I am on the right path analyzing it or not. I have seen social relationships break and trust being compromised because of acute selfishness. This is what we should uproot from ourselves. I know it is difficult to practice as we have been introduced to the very notion of individualism so strongly that sometimes it befooled us; makes us blind; indifferent to suffering, hunger, war or even a peaceful life! Huh!

In the end, I could say that much of it still needs to be re/de-think from many points of view. Personally, I feel selfless instead of feeling selfish. That is another story, another talk for the future. Let me preserve it for another day.

Thanks!

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-@mahir

[Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/photos/gzhyKEo_cbU)

Nobody is a saint. We all have our demons. Our demons push us to do unethical stuff. Here I used unethical because not everything our inner demon makes us do is a bad thing. Sometimes you need to do stuff. There is a word that the scientists call, *"necessary evil"*. This word implies to every aspect of life. Now, we all know that it is a human being's first priority to be compassionate towards others. And we must not leave a brother behind. That's all good. But let us not forget the world we live in. It's extremely competitive. And if you sit back and nurture others, no one will wait for you. You will fall behind. And once you fall behind, it's very hard to come back from it. So for our own sake. We should look out for ourselves more than ever.

Many people mix up priority and selfishness, even though both are entirely different. A person should, of course, prioritize himself. And it is not a bad thing. Very usual. But in our world, when people see someone who is prioritizing themself, they often deem them as selfish, when it's actually them who are being selfish. They just can't stand the fact that those people are actually making something of themselves. The same goes for every field of work, even in football games.

Over the years, we've seen players getting labelled selfish and arrogant. Why? Because they take two more shots on their own instead of passing to a teammate? Pretty funny when you think about it. In a way, this might hamper the team play, but it doesn't hinder the results. You can often see those two extra shots ending up as goals. If there was a possibility of missing, had he passed the ball to a teammate, relying on someone else.

Football and life are pretty much alike. As I said just now, many people tend to do that extra bit of work on their own while leaving less time in hand to interact with other people. In turn, people call them selfish and self-centred. But the reality is that person has done a bit more work and is ahead of the curve. This is self-reliance or priority. Whereas a selfish guy wouldn't care to do some work for his own betterment, rather do stuff to take glory away from other people, taking other people's pride for themselves. But yes, self priority starts with being selfish. And that's the catch. You have to be selfish first. Then eventually, you'll realize you're chasing the wrong type of glory. Then you'll do exactly what you need to do for yourself. It's then you become self-reliant. Prioritizing yourself over others. And this has a world of benefits. So yes, even a good thing like self-reliance starts with being selfish for yourself. So don't hate the fact of being selfish; hate what you're being selfish for.

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<center>~Do not forget to join our next weekly hangout on at Friday 10 pm GMT +6~</center>

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