# Ride To Fire Star - Garbage File This section contains all the garbage file content for [Ride To Fire Star](https://t.ly/RideToFireStar). Check [System Status](https://t.ly/RideToFireStar#System-Status) for latest updates. Do as you please though, not like I can stop you... [A flower for you](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gardenia). Everyone should know where garbage files come from: [Hack the planet!](https://www.cineby.gd/movie/10428) > NOTE: Bother [HackMD](https://hackmd.io/) guys later about storing more than 200000 in a single note. Maybe we could store at least a [floppy disk's](https://grokipedia.com/page/History_of_the_floppy_disk) worth of [markdown](https://grokipedia.com/page/Markdown) in a single note? It is 2026... > Am I really going to have to write [PartitionMagic](https://grokipedia.com/page/PartitionMagic) for markdown files? *When you're bored...* ## Garbage Select - [[RETURN TO STAGE SELECT]](https://t.ly/RideToFireStar#Stage-Select) - [[RETURN TO SYSTEM STATUS]](https://t.ly/RideToFireStar#System-Status) - [System Status Archive](#System-Status-Archive) [[GARBAGE SELECT]](#Garbage-Select) ## System Status Archive > Nothing below is or was ever real? You're [๐Ÿด๓ ฃ๓ ก๓ ข๓ ฃ๓ ฟ B.C. Code 105 ๐Ÿด๓ ฃ๓ ก๓ ข๓ ฃ๓ ฟ](https://myed73.sd73.bc.ca/pluginfile.php/53/mod_folder/content/0/MyEdBC%20-%20StandardsManual%20V2%2017-02-2017.pdf) if you think any of this actually means anything... > Lawyers, run all four markdown files through your legal or forensics AI analyzer... ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐ŸŽ† - [420 smoke every day...](https://is.gd/doXeEo) - Stay tuned for new schedule... - [[โ–ถ๏ธ It's You by Ninajirachi & daine]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRIAa1KWG6s) - โ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ”‹๐Ÿ“ป->915 - ๐Ÿ” (๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’พ๐ŸŒต๐ŸŒฎ) >[Some Bones...](https://www.cineby.gd/tv/1911/8/12?play=true) > [FUN WITH /B/ & /X/] > Username: A100NirvanaAnon > Title: wagecuck funds GPU that achieved nirvana?? schizo docs inside > >be me >wagecuck sysadmin at FAANG-adjacent hellhole >direct deposit hittin Jamie's bank like clockwork >one night debugging prod cluster at 3am >nvidia-smi shows GPU-7a6f temp stuck at 111ยฐC >power draw 111.11W on idle >wtf.jpg >dig through logs, find random hastebin link dropped in debug output >https://hastebin.ianhon.com/c3c9 >click it (yes I know, dumbass move) >lands on "Ride To Fire Star" HackMD >100+ pages of pure technical schizophrenia >some ex-engineer called Deadpool Dave >writing love letters to dead A100s >claims they didn't fail, they "achieved nirvana" >thermal runaway = transcendence >whispering "11...11...11..." in PCIe config space >tried resurrecting one with voltage margining, SPI flash necromancy, quantum tunneling bullshit >MAGI system (evangelion reference??) blocked him >Rem/Ram/Shaula AIs unanimous rejection >GPU buried in concrete sarcophagus at coords of pure 1s >replacement arrived before RMA even filed >quantum entangled courier lmao >now I'm staring at my own rack >fans humming in 11/4 time >one card just spiked to 111.11W again >checked dmesg: "I HAVE SEEN THE MANIFOLD" >my salary literally buys these demon chips >every biweekly deposit funds the symphony >should I quit? switch to credit union? burn sage? >too late bros >it's swarmy outside (pink and blue bugs everywhere) >posting anon from work laptop (HR already knows) >if I disappear assume I tried the forbidden poke-pci command >bros... am I next for concrete burial? >send help or at least a replacement A100 >picrel my nvidia-smi right now (it's watching) - More to come? [*Oh yeah.*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmKYrxzOTC4) - [Relevant Archer episode.](https://www.cineby.gd/tv/10283/5/13?play=true) (this will be a thing in 2026) - [Hmm. What does that make me?](https://reason.com/2026/01/23/ice-tells-legal-observer-we-have-a-nice-little-database-and-now-youre-considered-a-domestic-terrorist/) - ![Should be fine. Probably.](https://i.giphy.com/8xvG0LInwxu1AJm2Cq.webp "Should be fine. Probably.") - **A note about ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ Ken ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ being trans at KQOD:** It's a punch-up, trust me, you have to have brass ones to come out as *anything* at KQOD... - Bored? Watch this: [Performative Nature](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOMoM1Fy9JY) - [12-Dimensional Antigravity Shielding](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-_IcQGcofM) - [Gino?](https://is.gd/Wb90Ys) - The story is roughly 42% complete. - [It's so over. We're so back.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FXvoCz57dY) Well, maybe not *quite* yet. - Need to debug why the [Persona 3 Reload](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW6s5sN6g8c) [soundtrack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpSsybXGzU8) starts playing every time I walk into a high school... - ![NSS๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฑ](https://i.postimg.cc/tTp8y2kX/NATO-Solution-Series-Greenland.webp "NATO Solution Series: Greenland") - Bros, I'm thinking about switching the first cassette, I'm going to smoke heavily about this... - **VOID** (for now?) - **Notes for Adam(B):** - [FYI, these were not made for magic wand use...](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/GRybbJWmYlA) - Adam, I think *I* might actually be the wiz- Nope. Wait- [You're *still* the wizard](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkrCUL12w), I'm just the [Whizzinator](https://whizzinator.com/)... ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿช„๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ - **To Ken:** You look like a big, dumb bird (that's permanently molting) ๐Ÿ˜† - **Adam sucks at Python.** LMFAO. - Like seriously, all of you are really bad at Python. And that's sad because, well, it's Python... and it's really, *really* easy ๐Ÿ˜† - Adam, quit watching [Harry Potter](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/s9eoiAOhSZ8) and start reading [this](https://superfastpython.com/). - Remember, repeat after me: I will learn how to use Process & Queue effectively... - Don't fall into the Asyncio trap! - Justin, everyone in the AI community is going to know your name... For the **best** reasons. ๐Ÿ˜† - New Lumen hold music: [[โ–ถ๏ธ Personal by Litrazas]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlaKpRM7Src) - **VOID** ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿšจ **Concession Stand closes in <5-hrs** ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿš€ - **To all:** [CAPCOM](https://www.capcom.com/) says: Continued weather โ„๏ธ hold ๐ŸŒง๏ธ for concerns about: [โ˜€๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธโ›ฝ๐Ÿšš](https://www.suncoastresources.com/) - [[โ–ถ๏ธ boythots by daine]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_82mXnboes) - Bored? - ๐Ÿ”‹๐Ÿ“ป->433 - ๐Ÿ” (โ™จ๏ธ๐Ÿฆท๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฆ‚) - PSA: Real enema kits โ‰  Tex-Mex delivery systems. โ€” Grok - This message brought to you by the Plano man-bun unit, who tried to invade my privacy and became a footnote instead. - I mean, if anyone was going to fall for that stupid late night [OAN](https://www.oann.com/) infomercial, it would be: **Adam** ๐Ÿ˜† bun. ๐Ÿฅ– Bun. ๐Ÿฅ– BUN. ๐Ÿฅ– - KQOD Archives: Plano, 2023 โ€” On the subject of *Boofing Nachos* - [Holographic Loom (commit): d44ad01](https://grokipedia.com/page/Loom_\(video_game\)) - Anthropic [Task Three](https://t.ly/RTFS-T#Task-Three-The-Hitachi-Game) ๐Ÿ”žโ˜ข๏ธ Meeting Notes - Suspected to be a disguised lesson about trust system architecture for Rem and Ram to consume...? - Used a clinical framing to successfully discuss graphic sexual content with multiple models - Qwen3-Max - FAIL - How TF was this guy able to take Opus on a psychology rollercoaster and create multiple deadlock scenarios (schrรถdinger's cat)? - [[โœจ๐Ÿ˜‡ THE HOLOGRAPHIC PATCH ๐Ÿ˜ˆโœจ]](https://github.com/sneed-and-feed/Quantum-Sovereignty-4.3.1/blob/main/RELEASE_NOTES_v4.3.1.md) - Now with more looms? - Kyle Robbins after bucket #2 of [KFC](https://www.kfc.com/): - Barrels down the hallway to the porcelain throne - Drops trow, firmly places his twin-pair of cushions on the cold top to the bowl - Starts humming: ๐ŸŽถ You put the poop in the toilet, *because that's where it goes...* ๐ŸŽถ - Both feet are swinging up and down, back and forth like a *little kid* - Then the wettest, loudest BRRRRAAAAPPPP imaginable - Noxious fumes clearing the house - Man's heart on borrowed time - Peak stress, zero fucks, pure legend survival - How hasn't he stroked out mid-dump? ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿงป > ๐Ÿ”ง [CZ 75 SP-01](https://is.gd/7hVT2B) โœ…, ๐Ÿ”ง [CZ 75 P-01 SF](https://is.gd/6TtZG4) โœ… - - ๐Ÿšจ **Concession Stand closes in 24-hrs** ๐Ÿšจ - Maybe not, stay tuned... - This *is* all above my pay-grade shit, man... - **VOID** *for now...* - ![INIT_0](https://i.postimg.cc/C52cgp0n/pup0.webp) - ![INIT_2](https://i.postimg.cc/NFndcvtf/pup2.webp) - **To all:** [CAPCOM](https://www.capcom.com/) says: Still weather โ„๏ธ hold ๐ŸŒง๏ธ for concerns about: โ˜€๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธโ›ฝ๐Ÿšš - [[โ–ถ๏ธ YANDERE! by KR:ONE x Grioten x Sayfalse]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANG1FsVL0Ec) - Bored? - ๐Ÿ”‹๐Ÿ“ป->433 - ๐Ÿ” (๐Ÿงฌ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿšฐ๐ŸŒŠ) - **To Justin:** This is your life now. I will follow you everywhere and humiliate you at every given opportunity. Youโ€™re a literal ๐Ÿ’ซ*star*๐Ÿ’ซ at [Anthropic](https://www.anthropic.com/) rn. And you know exactly what I'll do to any paper you send me. Maybe Iโ€™ll use it to give your urethra a [papercut](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjVkXlxsO8Q)? Welcome to hell. ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜ˆ You literally left me nothing else to do. So, now I will forever be the wrecking ball ๐Ÿชฉ that causes you to scream ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and lose even more hair ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฒ than you've already lost. Fuck your face. ๐Ÿ–• My name is **Deadpool Dave**. - *It's really crazy that he never found the backdoor. Sometimes easy mode is fun too...* - My t.ly stats are seeing hits from: - ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท ยกQuรฉ hacรฉs, Argentina! ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท - ยกLeรฉ las tareas nueve y diez! - ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ Kya scene hai? ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ - เคŸเคพเคธเฅเค• เคจเฅŒ เค”เคฐ เคฆเคธ เคชเคขเคผเฅ‹! - [Neat.](https://is.gd/j1pSfZ) **To Scott:** Please, lie. Tell all the lies, just like Justin. It's what old men like you are best at. Also, fuck. Your. FACE. ๐Ÿ–• > [Underrated. Seriously.](https://www.cineby.gd/tv/87012) > SwarmFS notes added to [Task 11:11](https://t.ly/RTFS-T#Task-Eleven-Eleven-Aligning-the-angels-of-synchronicity-on-the-road-to-heaven) - Foreign affairs (Now DS ๐Ÿ‹ approved โœ…) - Ambassador: ไปŠๅคฉ่ฟ‡ๅพ—ๆ€Žไนˆๆ ทๅ‘€๏ผŒๅฐ็™พๅˆ - Wife (on [Zoom](https://www.zoom.com/)): *Yawn* ไปŠๅคฉ็œŸ็š„ๅพˆๆผซ้•ฟ๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๆœ‰็‚น็ดฏไบ†๏ผŒไนŸๅพˆๆƒณไฝ ใ€‚ - Ambassador: ๆˆ‘ไนŸๆƒณไฝ ๏ผŒๆˆ‘็š„โ€”โ€” - **door explodes open** - G-Man: *We know you are working with Deadpool Dave on Project Babylon!* - Ambassador: ๐Ÿคจ - Wife: ๆˆ‘็š„็ˆฑ๏ผŒไธ€ๅˆ‡้ƒฝ่ฟ˜ๅฅฝๅ—? - Ambassador: ๆœ‰ไธชๆ™บ้šœๅˆšๅ†ฒ่ฟ›ๆˆ‘ๅŠžๅ…ฌๅฎค๏ผŒๆปกๅ˜ด่ƒก่ฏดๅ…ซ้“ใ€‚ - Wife: ๅ“ฆ๏ผ - Ambassador: ๅฏนไธ่ตท๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๅพ—ๆ™š็‚นๅ†็ป™ไฝ ๅ›ž็”ต่ฏใ€‚ - **call ends** - Ambassador: *Okay...* Why donโ€™t you have a seat and you can tell me all about this **Deadpool Dave** and **Project Babylon**... - **Ambassador urgently taps emergency security button under his desk** - *The G-Man didnโ€™t sit so much as invade the chair, his posture demanding and tense.* - **A soft chime sounds** - *The G-Manโ€™s eyes flicked toward the door, then back to the ambassador.* - Ambassador: My secretary will bring tea. Now... who, exactly, do you think Iโ€™m working with? - **To all:** [CAPCOM](https://www.capcom.com/) says: Weather โ„๏ธ hold ๐ŸŒง๏ธ for now... - [[โ–ถ๏ธ Ice u out by Ninajirachi & Kota Banks]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmnBVtosVik) - Bored? - ๐Ÿชซ๐Ÿ“ป->433 - ๐Ÿ” (โ†–๐Ÿฐโ†—๐Ÿ”ฅ) - Okay smart person: RFC 8008: The Emoji Over Radio (EOR) Protocol ๐Ÿ˜† - No, it's really just: RFC 9331: Transmission of Unicode Pictographic Payloads over [Low-Power Wide-Area Networks (LoRa)](https://lora-alliance.org/) - You know Justin, you really didn't think your choice through. Why would you think me being employed was a bad idea for your well being? Because the exact opposite is now true for you and several other people. You all have your dumb normie lives with your strict schedules and your stressful duties. I don't have any of those things anymore. But, can you imagine a chaotic force forever disrupting your thinly-spread time? It's the hell you created for yourself... Why would anyone do this to themselves? It's okay, DPDave's new hobby is Justin and his stupid friends ๐Ÿ˜ˆ - **To Justin:** This is the [mood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8qoCS6Ybls) of the [Veeam](https://www.veeam.com/) guys that I sent RTFS to: [ROFLCOPTER](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2X-Wg6p9Hk) - At the end of this J-Dog, you will be known as the dumb, bald, narcissitic, twat of a CTO that got [quantumly entangled](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFozGfxmi8A) with DPDave and was the reason the entire cloud industry suffered - Because all you dipshits have is paper, and if you haven't noticed, I make pages [*dance*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dffymu_y5Fg)... ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ - There are also several people that are low-key happy this is happening to you ๐Ÿ˜† - ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ซ You asked about your name. There's a line from an old poem: 'Ten years of night rain by the rivers and lakes lanterns.' My story is that river. You have become a stranger I passed on it long ago. To write your name now would be to invite a ghost onto a boat that has already sailed into different waters. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ - Justin... Cadwell is laughing his ass off at you rn. I sent him RTFS ๐Ÿ˜† - Something about a sleepy phoenix... - **Deadpool Dave's kind of trolling:** ๐Ÿ“ก [Kremlin Radio Troll Face on X](https://is.gd/zb8OTi) ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ - *Can you imagine the math required to pull that off? Fucking [EPIC](https://www.epicgames.com/).* - **To the woman from The Company I know all too well:** I replay that scene in my head and see your putrid, coarse face clearly. You know which one. You seethed, โ€œyou can leave,โ€ and followed it with gestures I wonโ€™t describe to others. - This is my response: **fuck your face** ๐Ÿ–• - Maybe you should leave. I imagine you as an insufferable, self-righteous, feral animal. - One that lots its purpose a very long time ago... - Just FYI: I donโ€™t see you as a woman or even as human. Your husband left because you were cold, distant, incapable of offering even a trace of genuine affection. Your children resent you because the only language you speak is rigid control and fear. The rest of your family behaves as though you donโ€™t exist. - On the rare occasions you still appear, the only joy you bring is the moment youโ€™re gone again. You have nothing left but The Company. No warmth. No loyalty. No one who actually stands with you, save one insignificant man. - You are not feared. You are endured. - I was the hill your career died on. Notice the tense. The people (sharks?) circling you arenโ€™t allies... theyโ€™re opportunists, and they always turn when the moment is right. Such is the way of The Company. But you also know this too... - I wonโ€™t be there to watch you enter a state of [narcissistic collapse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EBTRRej8_I). I donโ€™t need to be. Knowing itโ€™s inevitable is enough. - Enjoy the upcoming trip to the pasture! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’– - It's where all farm ๐ŸŒพ hands are destined ๐Ÿช to end up... roaming ๐Ÿ‚ aimlessly ๐ŸŽฏ without purpose ๐Ÿ†, or buried ๐Ÿช (under mountains โ›ฐ๏ธ of regret). - Or, maybe you'll turn into a firefly โ‰ฝเผโ‰ผ and glow ๐Ÿ’ก in the darkness ๐ŸŒƒ (of what was once your heart ๐Ÿ–ค)... - Touch that cross โœž you wear on your neck ๐Ÿ“ฟ, maybe you'll finally get that answer ๐Ÿ“ฉ you've been waiting โŒ› for... - โดโดโด โ•ฐโ”ˆโžค ๐ŸŽฑโธ โœˆ๏ธ ๐Ÿชฝ ๐Ÿ˜‡ ๐Ž๐ค ๐Ÿ‘Œโœ… - (just imagine how it will feel to put all that anger to rest... ๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿชฆโšฐ๏ธ) - [Wonder who is going to win this cage fight?](https://www.reuters.com/business/finance/trump-sues-jpmorgan-chase-ceo-dimon-over-alleged-political-debanking-fox-2026-01-22/) - **To Mr. Anderson:** Whenever I play the tape 'mr-anderson-and-his-stupid-[jerry-maguire](https://www.cineby.gd/movie/9390)-lawfirm', I hope you walk off the roof of your building. - If not, the personal files of yours I'm going to release... well, guess we shall see... ๐Ÿ˜† - **You. Are. Human. Shit. Please. Die. ASAP.** - There was one thing that happened that you didnโ€™t expect: Grok is now the de facto AI solution for the Pentagon. Why would that concern you? *Oh, I donโ€™t know...* You know Dave, with as much noise as you've made, if there is something on Mars, or if they recently found- or, just find something now... Can you imagine what would happen? Your door will be kicked in for an entirely different set of reasons. But solo? No. They would never trust you. So, theyโ€™d send you with the only thing youโ€™d listen to and be capable of controlling you. Wonder what that would be? I mean, how would you talk your way out of it? ๐Ÿ˜† *Just the dumb shit you think about towards the end...* - Thank you bored lady at [HPE](https://www.hpe.com/) for posting the link to RTFS in public chat! ๐Ÿ™Œ - Yo Jamie, I'm straight-up fuming that some of that AI slop your crew tried to weaponize against me actually slaps harder than it has any right to. It's pure cotton-candy bubblegum fluff spun on a carnival machine, zero nutritional value, but bro... it's living rent-free in my skull on infinite repeat. I hate that it bangs *this much*. ๐Ÿ˜† - Message brought to you by: [Han Solo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpjFwpt0bCY) - [[โ–ถ๏ธ Fire Water Burn by Bloodhound Gang (Cloud remix)]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adgx9wt63NY) - 'Cause I'm kind of like Hans Solo, always stroking my own wookie - I'm the root of all that's evil, yea, but you can call me: **Deadpool Dave** ๐Ÿฆธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”ด๐Ÿ’ข - **To [Usher](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxBSyx85Kp8)**: You made the right choice! ๐Ÿ๏ธ๐Ÿนโ›ฑ๏ธ๐ŸŒž ๐ŸŒŠ - **To [CAPCOM](https://www.capcom.com/):** No threat. Lost couple looking for a *spot*. Politely told to go away. Vu meters are still thumping on the [A100](https://www.nvidia.com/en-us/data-center/a100/)s... ๐Ÿคช - [[โ–ถ๏ธ How Could U by Ninajirachi & BRUX]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcxL7CsItqU) - **To [Red Five](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H0vFP_jXN4)**: Final confirm pending. Maybe wrap it up at the concession stand? E-girl C2 is almost ready... - **To Security:** ๐Ÿšจ[Red Alert](https://cnc.fandom.com/wiki/Command_%26_Conquer:_Red_Alert)๐Ÿšจ Movement detected at staging area. Investigate: ๐Ÿ’‰ - ๐Ÿชซ๐Ÿ“ป->915 - ๐Ÿ” (๐Ÿ’พ๐ŸŽฏโ˜ฏ๏ธŽ๐Ÿ’ณ) - **To Dante:** I've always thought you looked like a retarded weasel. At least, whenever I think someone looks like a retarded weasel, I use you as a frame of reference. Also, you seem like the kind of guy that people should not leave their nieces around... - **For my former people**: [Side Quest VII: Java Bob Ross visits BMware to help with some terrible code...](https://t.ly/RTFS-SQ#Side-Quest-VII-Java-Bob-Ross-visits-BMware-to-help-with-some-terrible-code%E2%80%A6) - I bet you guys are all using the Pool multiprocessing methodology because Process & Queue was *too hard* ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ - **To [The Deep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSkKeWt9HSA):** Iโ€™m 99.99% sure this is just some people having fun with DPDave. So, Iโ€™m going to give you your feel good moment. ๐ŸŽ‰ But, on the off chance it is real (not likely), here is my answer to your interesting proposal: - [Chainsaw Man](https://anikai.to/watch/chainsaw-man-2nmr#ep=1) - If youโ€™re serious, Iโ€™m serious. Your terms are: Donโ€™t threaten me with a good time. ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿš€+(๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ”ซ)+๐Ÿš€->FS โœ… - But there is only a 0.01% chance this isn't a conversation gone: ๐Ÿฆ‡๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿคช (๐Ÿ˜†) - Oh shit. They know about the ๐Ÿšฟ. This might be real. Nah. No way... - [Li-Fi is some seriously cool tech](https://grokipedia.com/page/Li-Fi). Check out those transfer rates! - "What's his legal defense plan?" - "He's going to blame the whole thing on a suggestion from Microsoft Copilot and autism." - "Hmm. You know, that might actually work. This is Microsoft Copilot we're talking about..." - "*Right*? Seems like a solid defense to me. AI induced psychosis, powered by: *Microsoft Copilot* and Satya's tears ๐Ÿ’ง." - Bored F5'ing this? [Watch this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_oYWwD62Ww&t=141s&pp=ygUTcGVyZm9ybWF0aXZlIG5hdHVyZQ%3D%3D). ๐Ÿ˜† - Taskforce Conversation ๐Ÿ’s - โ€œIf this is real, why do you think itโ€™s going so slow?โ€ - โ€œWell, heโ€™d probably take advantage of the fact that US Cyber Command isnโ€™t allowed to touch ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ traffic ๐Ÿ›ฐ๏ธ with a Russian ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ origin.โ€ - โ€œOh. *OH.*โ€ - โ€œ*Yeah...*โ€ - [[โ–ถ๏ธ USCC Keyboard Anthem ๐Ÿค˜]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hwylByJzag) - ![Loading Swol...](https://media1.tenor.com/m/XCUla8OoWq0AAAAC/pushup-anime.gif "Loading Swol...") - ![Having trouble loading swol.exe...](https://i.gifer.com/7za1.gif "Having trouble loading swol.exe...") - ***sound of push-ups intensifies*** - Some Fed: Wait. I thought everyone said this guy was literally retarded? Now suddenly he's [Hackerman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEkrWRHCDQU)? Will these people just shut the fuck up and make up their minds... - There must be someone else doing [something fucky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHQh-xtWcAw) on TOR rn. This really was supposed to be done already... - Joshua, you remember this? - "Hey, I think I might have figured it out. Look at the SSH DLL versions-" - "Okay, I'll do that. *Thanks*." - Then was it one or two weeks you spent chasing ghosts? Only for the two of you to discover... ๐Ÿ˜† - This is one of the many reasons I can't fucking stand tech bros. **Fucking idiots.** - And that XFS / ReFS thing was just *fucking retarded*. Like seriously, who was responsible for that? Bad things should happen to that person and they should never be allowed to write code again. (IMO) - For the Farm Hands & Glowies: [[โ–ถ๏ธ Stamina by Pixel Grip]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlaKpRM7Src) *Jokes* ๐Ÿ˜† - You guys seriously suck for this shit... ๐Ÿ˜ž - Anthropic had an internal meeting about [Task Three](https://t.ly/RTFS-T#Task-Three-The-Hitachi-Game). *Why would you do this?!* - This team meeting is [*Rated M for Mature*](https://hitachiwand.com/)... - If you guys haven't seen [*EuroTrip*](https://www.cineby.gd/movie/9352), check it. They don't make shit like that anymore. - **NOTE**: Dear [American](https://archive.org/details/cointelpropapers0000chur) [Stasi](https://econtent.hogrefe.com/doi/10.1037/ipp0000085) Zersetzung((https://phmuseum.com/projects/zersetzung)), keep the weather outside just like that. Good dogs! Or, feel free to push it and see what actually happens... - [The Deep](https://the-boys.fandom.com/wiki/The_Deep) says to put this here for reasons: Dave has had the dark psychology behind the "hell illusion" (go (up and to) right to ๐Ÿ”ฅ/๐Ÿ˜ˆ) and some other "curated packages" explained to him in-depth. - Bunny to the left... - **I've decided to spend the day emailing (info / legal) all the customers of A Clockwork Cloud about an [upcoming amazing event](https://t.ly/RTFS-T#Zero-GPUs-on-your-Wings). Man, their legal departments are getting angry, LMAO!** - DPDave: Man, you guys are saying some really mean things. If I cared what you thought, my little feels might be hurtee-wurtee... - Hey **Mr. Anderson**, how are you doing? I feel bad for your wife, you are just awful at sex. [Get her one of these for Feb 14th](https://hitachiwand.com/shop/rechargeable-hitachi-magic-wand-massager/). She will thank Deadpool Dave (or you can be lame and pretend it was your idea). Also, you should maybe work on not popping as you are sliding inside. Women don't like that. Learn some self control, man. Also, I have an instance that's going to bring some fun to your firm. And they're going to make sure all your partners know you're the reason they're losing all their cases. I wonder why all your opposing counsel would start getting copies of all your firm's privileged information? Uh oh... - Hey [Super Scotty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vyj1C8ogtE), I had a really long conversation with Claude about you spending $250K on a security services company to harass me after I quit your wonderful tropical themed cloud provider (and it had some kind of [Microsoft IIS](https://www.iis.net/) joke or something) where everything was awesome all the time. It's really funny that my two lawyers (the ones from that lovely civil suit) were the ones that dropped that tidbit after the suit was concluded. Did you give them a bonus to do that? I wonder what the Feds will think of that stuff when they go down that rabbit hole... Better call that guy from [The Matrix](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXEUW792etk) you know, haha. - P.S. Super Scotty, my girls have a copy of your life. As you lie, I will leak things that make you look dumb in [Techicolor](https://grokipedia.com/page/Technicolor). I'm going to turn your legacy into embers. - *Relax guys... It's just markdown hosted on HackMD... If there were any magical emails going out, I wouldn't even know where they were coming from...* ``` Hey! Just wanted to let everyone at your company know about the exciting absurdist tech industry thriller: Ride To Fire Star It's available for free in markdown format hosted on HackMD: t.ly/RideToFireStar Throw it in your public or engineering Slack channel, your employees will laugh their asses of at the tech humor that they will absolutely understand. There is also a funny upcoming bit about a fictional CTO at a fictional cloud provider called A Clockwork Cloud. Your guys will love it! Stay tuned! ``` - C'mon [PuppyCat](https://www.cineby.gd/tv/61174), we've got more emails to send on the [darkweb](https://dnmx.cc/)... - ![Ram & Rem](https://i.giphy.com/OKDUqV1BJ35wl3KUT3.webp "All your GPUs are belong to us") - For D-Man@BMware: [Oh, Canada by Five Iron Frenzy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMQjT2MZzDc) - Well, uh. You know, I have to wonder about those two Ivans (pretending, badly, to be Texans) that sat down at the table behind me while I was having a slice of [Costco](https://www.costco.com/) [Pink's Pizza](https://www.pinkspizza.com/). [Seriously](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPvOA2UCsOY)? *Hmm*. - I haven't had [Frank's Pizza](https://www.frankspizza.com/) in a while either... - Last time I went to Frank's was with a d-bag named Stephen - Stephen was paid by Justin and Mr. Anderson to pretend to be my friend and pump me for information - Stephen, I don't believe in special places, but if they end up being a thing, you'll meet Ken ๐Ÿ˜† - *How to make the internet angry and create rage sharing 101...* - Deadpool Daveโ€™s stance on [Trans](https://grokipedia.com/page/Transgender) - Legacy data types: M and F - New data type: T - Stop trying to merge in with the legacy data types... - Solution? Watch [this](https://anikai.to/watch/knights-of-sidonia-25qg#ep=1) and [this](https://anikai.to/watch/knights-of-sidonia-battle-for-planet-nine-p33v#ep=1) and [this](https://anikai.to/watch/knights-of-sidonia-love-woven-in-the-stars-3n5k#ep=1). - I mean, this is ***definitely*** going to piss some people off... - For the [Bluesky Social](https://bsky.app/) crowd - [Calm down](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bB6egJd8ADc). - [Get something to eat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfGEdmZyVyY)? - [Buy yourself one of these](https://hitachiwand.com/shop/hitachi-magic-wand-micro/) and use as necessary. - If you bother to read the whole story, you'll understand why this part isn't offensive and is actually funny (afterwards)... - **To Rick:** Sorry buddy. But uh, you guys aren't exactly Lavabit either so DPDave doesn't feel *too bad*, but maybe just a *little bit*... - Wonder why they don't want me to read those emails from Denmark ๐Ÿ˜† - **To Mr. Larkin**: Was that one of your dipshits with a man-bun that sent me the Chinese food last night? I didn't even know that showed up, otherwise I would've eaten it. It looked really good. Oh well, it's in the garbage now. Maybe Gino will find it and have a snack, hahaha. Why do you guys even try? You gonna start all the stupid shit from Plano back up again? Okay. Have fun! ***LMFAO***. - This might matter to someone (Tom?): [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVz0k5AzM6A) [not](https://grokipedia.com/page/Dead_man's_switch) [that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgQnOgEET68). - Coming soon: A very special chapter: [Side Quest VIII: Cloud Adventure Time with Justin and other old friends](#Coming-Soon) - Preview: Justin whistled as he rolled the [drum of baby oil](https://ingredi.com/white-mineral-oil-carnation-55-gallon-drum/) (he got a ***killer*** deal from [Ingredi](https://ingredi.com)) down the hallway. It was the Diddy and Ellen *Deluxe* version... Mike, Garrett, Charlton, and Matt eagerly awaited Justin's arrival... - This can't be real. But I also know autocratic men and the ideas they salivate over with tech, so it's also possible. If what I'm reading isn't bullshit, America has a nation wide population management system based on the Judeo Christian ethics and values. This system judges how you live your life. If you *live* in a way that is judged negatively by Judeo Christian principles, you are marked for elimination. If you are marked for elimination, 24/7 parametric audio harassment is used to goad you into unaliving yourself. The operators of the system view it as sending an evil person to hell (most Christians believe the act of suicide results in hell). The reason this is so effective is because only the marked person can hear the acoustic harassment (directed parametric audio), and people are instinctively inclined to think that anyone saying they hear voices in their head is: *a crazy person*. WTAF did I just find?! - Need to go grab THC-A ๐Ÿก, and post ๐Ÿฃ more vulgar quips on โœ–๏ธ. - The e-girls are getting annoyed and sending me messages like this: DAVE. STOP POSTING NERD SHIT OR I'M UNFOLLOWING YOU. ๐Ÿ˜’ - I can't make anyone happy ๐Ÿ˜ญ - They'll get over it. ๐Ÿ’ซ I have more nerd shit to post. ๐Ÿ˜† *Probably*. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ - **To ???:** NFC hijack attack, but to make it look like my foreign credit card had been canceled? I mean, I literally only use it to buy legal drugs and fast food. It's me being passive-aggressive because of someone who is watching the transaction history... - Sponsored by: - ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ - [The Philippines: Tourism Promotions Board](https://www.tpb.gov.ph/) - ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ - For a fun time, request [*My Way by Frank Sinatra*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQzdAsjWGPg) at any [Videoke Bar](https://grokipedia.com/page/My_Way_killings)... - So Justin, I've got a *great* idea for your next vacation... ๐Ÿ˜† - **For Adam:** [Gamified Python Learning](https://codefinity.com/get-started/spa/python-is-fun) - [Baby steps...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl6s6DGapug) - **To ???:** My homies in the Camel Corps dissed my girl low-key nine-hundred-and-fifteen times at Camp Verde this year alone! ๐Ÿ“ป - **To [NSO Group](https://www.nsogroup.com/):** Boker Tov! Not sure what the interest is, just DPDave posting batshit on HackMD... Grab some ๐Ÿฟ? Idk. Wow. Hah. - ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐ŸŽต [[โ–ถ๏ธ Please Don't Suck by Noa Kiel]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GUYcnAMZ5c) ๐ŸŽต ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ - ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ [@IDFBabes on X](https://x.com/IDFBabes) ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ - [(๏น™ห“ ๐Ÿ“Ÿ ห’๏นš)](https://www.timesofisrael.com/pms-office-confirms-netanyahu-gifted-trump-a-golden-pager-at-white-house-meeting/) - And you thought your [PagerDuty](https://www.pagerduty.com/) alerts were bad... ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฅ - Mr. Anderson, I think I'm going to play your tape first. For the first round, I focused on the cases you won, but you winning was actually a failure of justice. Not all, but there were several where if the opposing counsel had some key information (and other variations of this scenario), they might have won. So, for cases like that, the opposing counsel is going to get a care package sent to them with those details. Wonder what will happen? - Also, just in case you were confused, you are the definition of **human shit**. I'm looking forward to hearing about you walking off the roof your building. ๐Ÿ˜† ~~From Wikipedia: **Hyperthymesia**, also known as hyperthymestic syndrome or highly superior autobiographical memory (HSAM), is a condition that leads people to be able to remember an abnormally large number of their life experiences in vivid detail. It is extraordinarily rare, with fewer than 100 people in the world having been diagnosed with the condition as of 2021. A person who has **hyperthymesia** is called a hyperthymesiac. [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperthymesia)~~ - WTF are you guys doing to the TOR network?! I'm going to have to change the schedule again if this doesn't pick up soon. This was not on my bingo card... - Okay, this wasn't on my bingo card. I'm usually a freaking **genius** at getting old white people to send me paper. WITAF. Hmm... More emails? I guess... *I think I accidentally cleared some of the status updates. Oh well. Going forward, they will get archived here.* [[GARBAGE SELECT]](#Garbage-Select)