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Kathal's Totally Random assessment of Monarchs

Welcome to this episode of "RATE PLAYERS AS MONARCHS", with an interesting twist. Instead of trying to use my brain to rate players and/or nations I let the game decide who is the real 500 IQ player and who is Krediax-tier.

Rules were quite simple: 
1. Two dices were rolled, dice one for the amount of rulers killed, dice two for the amount of traits for that ruler
2. If you were a Republic, you got edited into Sortium and than one of the three rulers got randomly chosen (again by dice)
3. Mamluks got also a true random ruler

Since this alone would be quite boring I even went so far and added all the player names to THEIR ruler, which took way to much time for something totally useless. 

So, now to the list: 
* Ajuuraan - Imam **samzala**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/R0f77h5R/Ajuuraan.png)
"My diplo bad, my mil worse, at least no party at my house."
* Aragon - **AlexBrumbart** de Sivla
![](https://i.postimg.cc/G2CkqRb1/Aragon.png)
"An excerpt in what happens if an AI nation tries to attack an bankrupt Player nation."
* Austria - Emperor **XVR Inbred Yodeling Chin Boii** z Podebrad
![](https://i.postimg.cc/RhPKSnKM/Austria.png)
"Marrying my own family and thus dying out is not the only thing I can do!"
One of the first nations where killing rulers led to some interesting PU situations. 
* Ava - **Ava Llama** aka me
![](https://i.postimg.cc/4dQp003H/Ava.png)
"**Please** kill me"
* Bahmanis - Sultan **Krediax** Bahmanid
![](https://i.postimg.cc/8ckLgbFK/Bahmanis.png)
"Mana banking and tech cost reduction goes brrrrr."
* Bengal - Sultan **Mateo Bengal** Najafi
![](https://i.postimg.cc/T2QrqBSZ/Bengal.png)
AI Blobbing meets Player Diplomacy
* Bohemia - King-Elector **Maroccu** von Harrach
![](https://i.postimg.cc/VL6X7DP5/Bohemia.png)
A little Corruption and backstabbing ain't wrong, right? 
* Brandenburg - Prince-Elector **Nycklar** Senfft von Pilsach
![](https://i.postimg.cc/Gh5G6GbK/Brandenburg.png)
Mr. "I want that Ruler"
* Brunei - Sultan **Skeletor Penetrator** Rahasangera
![](https://i.postimg.cc/QdK1DCt3/Brunei.png)
#Diplo and Chill
* Brunswick - Duke **Creepy** von Brandenburg
![](https://i.postimg.cc/6QsRpK2G/Brunsw-ick.png)
The Creepy Duke is creeping out his own War Exhaustion (and yes, he was under a Brandeburg PU)
* Castile - King **Shaltir Kusstilla** de Castro
![](https://i.postimg.cc/TPrbysgN/Castile.png)
The King of Kings, the Navigator, the Zealot and Master of Rebels. Who needs an army when you have home defence with Rebels? 
* Cocomas - Halach Uimik **AB** Dzibilnocac (AB is the name)
![](https://i.postimg.cc/HxdybttY/Cocomas.png)
Took me some time to  understand that the first two words are your title. At least you are rushing to unify Mexico
* Cusco as Cusco - Apu **Cusco** Aguazuque
![](https://i.postimg.cc/wv2s2sW-h/Cusco.png)
Who needs Diplo when everybody is dead?
* Desmond - Earl **Thunder** O'Reilly
![](https://i.postimg.cc/L5sgb67G/Desmond.png)
Ireland conflict just ~500 years to early
* England - King **Englandrex** MacCarthy
![](https://i.postimg.cc/RhbJ5xxh/England.png)
Corruption gud, yes yes?
* Florence - Gonfaloniere **LenyO**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/nVdDQB9x/Florence.png)
Fk that nation, took me 30mins to find that ruler
* France - King **Gasputin** d'Excoubleau
![](https://i.postimg.cc/bNs20r1t/France.png)
I am the state!
* Henan - Morshu **Jarvin** III
![](https://i.postimg.cc/QxwKfDqn/Henan.png)
Diplomacy and Spying is Overrated, right?
* Hesse - Duke **Nils Lindenberg** von Nassau
![](https://i.postimg.cc/HkMcKNZW/Hesse.png)
Mercs are still great, right?
* Hong Kong - Consul Youheng Feng (**Digio**, couldn't find the ruler cause your elections were bugged)
![](https://i.postimg.cc/g0PXPKQV/Hong-Kong.png)
Allies? No. Army? No. Rebels? No. Hotel? Trivago.
* Hormuz - Sultan **Flemish Clone Trooper** Timurid
![](https://i.postimg.cc/1zcgRq1L/Hormuz.png)
NOT the worst ruler, at least something. Also, we Timmis now!
* Imerina - Chief **Jux Sexmarina** Mutopa
![](https://i.postimg.cc/zBzyyGJ3/Imerina.png)
His Sexapeal is shocking
* Jaunpur - Sultan **Diegocid** Sisodiya
![](https://i.postimg.cc/d15Lrc16/Jaunpur.png)
*KIlls heir again* "Why can't I ever get a decent heir?" *Forgets that he is infertile*
* Khmer - King **Juhler99** Rajasanagara
![](https://i.postimg.cc/hvhh0ZQB/Khmer.png)
Diplo is for weaklings, war is where we good at.
* Kilwa - Sultan **Killer Koala** Keita
![](https://i.postimg.cc/pr7rcQKn/Kilwa.png)
Great at building Diplomatic bridges
* Kongo - King **Kravt** Keita
![](https://i.postimg.cc/L40JsSG6/Kongo.png)
Shitty ruler for a shitty region. And no LUBA TIME :(
* Korea - King **Plynius** Bae
![](https://i.postimg.cc/RV6N68z1/Korea.png)
The Bae itself, after losing all of your land you do not need Admin Skills, at least you can ~~exile~~ colonize faster. 
* Livonia Order - Landmeister **NeyoSt**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/fTGkxKwG/Livonia-Order.png)
YOU. BECOME. CATHOLIC. 
* Lubeck - Syndic **CuChulainn**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/jSy2v72L/Lubeck.png)
We Trade boys. 
* Mjapahit - Maharaja **Majapreciated** Rajasanagara
![](https://i.postimg.cc/s2yXLgGK/Majapahit.png)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzdwsAJRyNs
* Malacca - Sultan **Jeanke** Rajasanagara
![](https://i.postimg.cc/SKrsbbW4/Malacca.png)
We speed bois
* Mali - Sultan **GTX The Cursed** Mahamat
![](https://i.postimg.cc/26S5z9wZ/Mali.png)
"We have no Gold"-"Tax the Peasents harder"-"But that will lead to revolts"-"I said: TAX. THE. PEASENTS"
* Mamluks - Sultan **Mamlukimii** al-Qazdughli
![](https://i.postimg.cc/nrscmsNV/Mamluks.png)
Not only good with Polandballs but also in Taxing the shit out of his country (see Mali, that's how you do it).
* Manchu  - Khan **A.Pallada** Aisin Gioro
![](https://i.postimg.cc/3RfxWjSb/Manchu.png)
We Horde, Not build
* Mewar - Maharana **StrasserL** Sisodiya
![](https://i.postimg.cc/PJBfQXkW/Mewar.png)
"Administrating a country is hard, that's why we have no skill at it and I hope to get a decent heir so that I can die faster." 
* Milan - Captain & Defender **Valten**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/1RTzQHN8/Milan.png)
"He protects, he attacks, but most importantly: He Rebels"
* Munster - King **Purple Lurple** MacCarthy
![](https://i.postimg.cc/J4kz4kbP/Munster.png)
"At least **I** am not shit. Also, where are my Potatos?"
* Muscovy - Kniaz **Supdef** Rurikovich
![](https://i.postimg.cc/CxpLZx7Y/Muscovy.png)
"Knock. Knock."-"Who there?"-"Annex"-"Annex who?"-"Annex YOU!"
* Oirat - Khan **Kebab** Kirghitz
![](https://i.postimg.cc/t4dRFGv6/Oirat.png)
"Lets make our people happy, let them pay less Taxes and who gives a crap about Religion?"
* Ottomans - Emperor **FairyTale** Osmanoglu
![](https://i.postimg.cc/KYZGNpCH/Ottomans.png)
"Could be worse..."
* Poland - King **Gok Brzęczyszczykiewicz** Sapicha
![](https://i.postimg.cc/xC80rJfG/Poland.png)
No need for Diplo when all the enemies are dead.
* Papal State - Pope **Raxeon** 
![](https://i.postimg.cc/7LmxQMkY/Pope.png)
"Although I am not the smartest one, I have good advisors"
* Portugal - King **Matti** de Moura Barreto
![](https://i.postimg.cc/85YTTpc2/Portugal.png)
"I live? Time to build another Palast."
* Qara Qoyunlu - Sultan **Dream** Marashi
![](https://i.postimg.cc/nrQpzyQC/Qara-Qoyunlu.png)
"Many Advisors, many Spies, that's how I roll"
* Rassids - Emir **Massi** Yaruba
![](https://i.postimg.cc/grFd6gv4/Rassids.png)
"You thought you could buy me? I guess you want to die by my hands."
* Serbia - Princ **Plumbus** Kovacevic
![](https://i.postimg.cc/7PC20b3T/Serbia.png)
Serbia Stonks
* Shimazu - Lord **Nico** Ashikaga
![](https://i.postimg.cc/y6wSPBjp/Shimazu.png)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoAfb3f04mo
* Sweden - King **Pax** Rurikovich
![](https://i.postimg.cc/ncB9S5wF/Sw-eden.png)
"I SAID: HOLD THE LINES!" (also Sweden + Muscovy PU is fun)
* Taiwan - Sadr **Captain Pipi Smol of Taiwan**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/DwhJ9gtq/Taiwan.png)
"Can we war?"-"No."-"Can we diplo?"-"No."-"What can we do than?"-"Trade and Raid"
* Tibet - King **Spilberk Lama** Ava
![](https://i.postimg.cc/HktcdMgF/Tibet.png)
"I am the Stability in Person!" *forgets convienently about the billion Rebel stacks* (also, nice Dynasty)
* Timurids - Great Sultan **DER_Fuchs** Giray
![](https://i.postimg.cc/s2DBX2fx/Timurids.png)
Rip Timurid, long live Giray's Educated Durability.
* Tunis - Sultan **Fyren** Husainid
![](https://i.postimg.cc/rpnDtLzJ/Tunis.png)
"How did I come to age and didn't had a dinner with some stepps?"
* Uesugi - Shogun **David1235** Ashikaga
![](https://i.postimg.cc/KzC4JrP3/Uesugi.png)
"You became what you swore to destroy, an Ashikaga, also, Handshake?" *starts stabbing*
* Uzebk - Khan **nolram00** Kirghiz
![](https://i.postimg.cc/LXJnt01M/Uzbek.png)
"I hope you prayed to your God before I will raze everything what is dear to you"
* Benice - Doge **not_Bob**
![](https://i.postimg.cc/NFTFV9DJ/Venice.png)
"I have no idea what to do but I know exactly where I can get those informations"

* Vijayanagar - Maharaja **xivien** Bahmanid
![](https://i.postimg.cc/XNyrXmWf/Vijayanagar.png)
"Even if they know where we are, we are to fast to get stopped!"

* Wei - Emperor **Chazem** Maybeline
![](https://i.postimg.cc/SNFJ9dQw/Wei.png)
"Do you know da Wei?"

* Wurttemburg - Count **Killua** z Podebrad
![](https://i.postimg.cc/rF1zN4Kz/Wurttemburg.png)
"You can shout as loud as you want, those walls are sound proof."

* Zhejiang - Emperor **Morluck** Niu
![](https://i.postimg.cc/XYnqHvCL/Zhejiang.png)
"New Mercs suck but why can't I stop ~~ab~~using them"


Overall, only a few truely shitty rulers and of course I am one of them >.>'