Kathal's Totally Random assessment of Monarchs

Welcome to this episode of "RATE PLAYERS AS MONARCHS", with an interesting twist. Instead of trying to use my brain to rate players and/or nations I let the game decide who is the real 500 IQ player and who is Krediax-tier.

Rules were quite simple:
1. Two dices were rolled, dice one for the amount of rulers killed, dice two for the amount of traits for that ruler
2. If you were a Republic, you got edited into Sortium and than one of the three rulers got randomly chosen (again by dice)
3. Mamluks got also a true random ruler

Since this alone would be quite boring I even went so far and added all the player names to THEIR ruler, which took way to much time for something totally useless.

So, now to the list:
* Ajuuraan - Imam **samzala**
"My diplo bad, my mil worse, at least no party at my house."
* Aragon - **AlexBrumbart** de Sivla
"An excerpt in what happens if an AI nation tries to attack an bankrupt Player nation."
* Austria - Emperor **XVR Inbred Yodeling Chin Boii** z Podebrad
"Marrying my own family and thus dying out is not the only thing I can do!"
One of the first nations where killing rulers led to some interesting PU situations.
* Ava - **Ava Llama** aka me
"**Please** kill me"
* Bahmanis - Sultan **Krediax** Bahmanid
"Mana banking and tech cost reduction goes brrrrr."
* Bengal - Sultan **Mateo Bengal** Najafi
AI Blobbing meets Player Diplomacy
* Bohemia - King-Elector **Maroccu** von Harrach
A little Corruption and backstabbing ain't wrong, right?
* Brandenburg - Prince-Elector **Nycklar** Senfft von Pilsach
Mr. "I want that Ruler"
* Brunei - Sultan **Skeletor Penetrator** Rahasangera
#Diplo and Chill
* Brunswick - Duke **Creepy** von Brandenburg
The Creepy Duke is creeping out his own War Exhaustion (and yes, he was under a Brandeburg PU)
* Castile - King **Shaltir Kusstilla** de Castro
The King of Kings, the Navigator, the Zealot and Master of Rebels. Who needs an army when you have home defence with Rebels?
* Cocomas - Halach Uimik **AB** Dzibilnocac (AB is the name)
Took me some time to understand that the first two words are your title. At least you are rushing to unify Mexico
* Cusco as Cusco - Apu **Cusco** Aguazuque
Who needs Diplo when everybody is dead?
* Desmond - Earl **Thunder** O'Reilly
Ireland conflict just ~500 years to early
* England - King **Englandrex** MacCarthy
Corruption gud, yes yes?
* Florence - Gonfaloniere **LenyO**
Fk that nation, took me 30mins to find that ruler
* France - King **Gasputin** d'Excoubleau
I am the state!
* Henan - Morshu **Jarvin** III
Diplomacy and Spying is Overrated, right?
* Hesse - Duke **Nils Lindenberg** von Nassau
Mercs are still great, right?
* Hong Kong - Consul Youheng Feng (**Digio**, couldn't find the ruler cause your elections were bugged)
Allies? No. Army? No. Rebels? No. Hotel? Trivago.
* Hormuz - Sultan **Flemish Clone Trooper** Timurid
NOT the worst ruler, at least something. Also, we Timmis now!
* Imerina - Chief **Jux Sexmarina** Mutopa
His Sexapeal is shocking
* Jaunpur - Sultan **Diegocid** Sisodiya
*KIlls heir again* "Why can't I ever get a decent heir?" *Forgets that he is infertile*
* Khmer - King **Juhler99** Rajasanagara
Diplo is for weaklings, war is where we good at.
* Kilwa - Sultan **Killer Koala** Keita
Great at building Diplomatic bridges
* Kongo - King **Kravt** Keita
Shitty ruler for a shitty region. And no LUBA TIME :(
* Korea - King **Plynius** Bae
The Bae itself, after losing all of your land you do not need Admin Skills, at least you can ~~exile~~ colonize faster.
* Livonia Order - Landmeister **NeyoSt**
YOU. BECOME. CATHOLIC.
* Lubeck - Syndic **CuChulainn**
We Trade boys.
* Mjapahit - Maharaja **Majapreciated** Rajasanagara
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzdwsAJRyNs
* Malacca - Sultan **Jeanke** Rajasanagara
We speed bois
* Mali - Sultan **GTX The Cursed** Mahamat
"We have no Gold"-"Tax the Peasents harder"-"But that will lead to revolts"-"I said: TAX. THE. PEASENTS"
* Mamluks - Sultan **Mamlukimii** al-Qazdughli
Not only good with Polandballs but also in Taxing the shit out of his country (see Mali, that's how you do it).
* Manchu - Khan **A.Pallada** Aisin Gioro
We Horde, Not build
* Mewar - Maharana **StrasserL** Sisodiya
"Administrating a country is hard, that's why we have no skill at it and I hope to get a decent heir so that I can die faster."
* Milan - Captain & Defender **Valten**
"He protects, he attacks, but most importantly: He Rebels"
* Munster - King **Purple Lurple** MacCarthy
"At least **I** am not shit. Also, where are my Potatos?"
* Muscovy - Kniaz **Supdef** Rurikovich
"Knock. Knock."-"Who there?"-"Annex"-"Annex who?"-"Annex YOU!"
* Oirat - Khan **Kebab** Kirghitz
"Lets make our people happy, let them pay less Taxes and who gives a crap about Religion?"
* Ottomans - Emperor **FairyTale** Osmanoglu
"Could be worse..."
* Poland - King **Gok Brzęczyszczykiewicz** Sapicha
No need for Diplo when all the enemies are dead.
* Papal State - Pope **Raxeon**
"Although I am not the smartest one, I have good advisors"
* Portugal - King **Matti** de Moura Barreto
"I live? Time to build another Palast."
* Qara Qoyunlu - Sultan **Dream** Marashi
"Many Advisors, many Spies, that's how I roll"
* Rassids - Emir **Massi** Yaruba
"You thought you could buy me? I guess you want to die by my hands."
* Serbia - Princ **Plumbus** Kovacevic
Serbia Stonks
* Shimazu - Lord **Nico** Ashikaga
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoAfb3f04mo
* Sweden - King **Pax** Rurikovich
"I SAID: HOLD THE LINES!" (also Sweden + Muscovy PU is fun)
* Taiwan - Sadr **Captain Pipi Smol of Taiwan**
"Can we war?"-"No."-"Can we diplo?"-"No."-"What can we do than?"-"Trade and Raid"
* Tibet - King **Spilberk Lama** Ava
"I am the Stability in Person!" *forgets convienently about the billion Rebel stacks* (also, nice Dynasty)
* Timurids - Great Sultan **DER_Fuchs** Giray
Rip Timurid, long live Giray's Educated Durability.
* Tunis - Sultan **Fyren** Husainid
"How did I come to age and didn't had a dinner with some stepps?"
* Uesugi - Shogun **David1235** Ashikaga
"You became what you swore to destroy, an Ashikaga, also, Handshake?" *starts stabbing*
* Uzebk - Khan **nolram00** Kirghiz
"I hope you prayed to your God before I will raze everything what is dear to you"
* Benice - Doge **not_Bob**
"I have no idea what to do but I know exactly where I can get those informations"

* Vijayanagar - Maharaja **xivien** Bahmanid
"Even if they know where we are, we are to fast to get stopped!"

* Wei - Emperor **Chazem** Maybeline
"Do you know da Wei?"

* Wurttemburg - Count **Killua** z Podebrad
"You can shout as loud as you want, those walls are sound proof."

* Zhejiang - Emperor **Morluck** Niu
"New Mercs suck but why can't I stop ~~ab~~using them"

Overall, only a few truely shitty rulers and of course I am one of them >.>'