---
# System prepended metadata

title: Additional Resources for Intentional Relationships

---

# Additional Resources for Intentional Relationships  
 This space is for highlighting the broader body of knowledge from which I link to specific relevant resources in the [Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/Overview). Note that, while recommended to aid others in the exploration of their own views, these resources do not always reflect my own views.
 
Far from exhaustive, this list is intended to illustrate that existing resources are also available in a range of different formats. Also see, the [Resources on Relationship Elements & Related Concepts](/RRgMPtvgSdmCbhbtdj4-yA) and various [influences](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/HkqFzM-GD). 
 
## Curated Resource Lists 
- [*List of Relationship Anarchy Articles, Links, Resources*](https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/0BzSNm9VTs5ylZGN6VENVTmlZQzA) prepared as part of the [RAD](www.radunconference.com) unconference. 
- [*Resources on Precolonial Sexualities, Gender and Relationship Structures*](https://docs.google.com/document/d/12gnnYetvdKsSHCCCI_B7bcWdw5R6NUxtOvW4JNBbdKw/mobilebasic) put together by the 'Decolonising Love' crew.
- A curated database of fiction centering queer platonic relationships by [Claudie Arseneault](https://claudiearseneault.com/) 
- A set of resources on [relational practices curated by the Intentional Society](https://www.intentionalsociety.org/resources/#relational-practices), including circling practices, authentic relating practices, inquiry spiraling practices, edge case practices, and retropsectives.
- A list of [attraction terms](https://aromantic.lgbt)
- The [Asexual lexicon](http://wiki.asexuality.org/Lexicon) resource set
- The [self-defined dictionary](https://www.selfdefined.app/)
- The [Social justice wiki](http://sjwiki.org/wiki/Glossary)
- An [intersex terminology](https://oiiinternational.com/2602/terminology-intersex/) resource by the Organization Intersex International
- Some [neurodiversity terms](https://neurocosmopolitanism.com/neurodiversity-some-basic-terms-definitions/) by Nick Walker 
- The [Non-binary wiki](https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Main_Page)
- A list of resources on [Couple Privilege](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/CouplePrivilege)
- [Touching Base Resource List](https://www.touchingbase.org/resources/) - a not-for-profit that developed out of the need to assist people with disability and sex workers to connect with each other, focusing on access, discrimination, human rights and legal issues and the attitudinal barriers that these two marginalised communities can face.



## Tools for Reflection & Conversation
- This section has extended into a stand-alone list, see [Tools for Reflection & Conversation](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/metacommunication).


## Books & other long-form resources
A selection of the many books and other long-form explorations of the various intentional approaches to relationships.  
- [Playing Monogamy](https://www.publicationstudio.biz/books/playing-monogamy/) (2018) by [Simon(e) van Saarloos](http://www.simonevansaarloos.nl/) - exploring the potential for the concept of multi-love to change the world (note, this is the English translation of *Het monogame drama* (2015))
- [*Relationship Anarchy - Occupy Intimacy!* - by Juan Carlos Pérez Cortés (2022)](https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/juan-carlo-perez-cortez-relationship-anarchy), available in Spanish, Catalan, and English. 
- *[Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator](https://offescalator.com/what-escalator/)* (2017) by Aggie Sez's book (also see associated articles published (as Amy Gahran) at the [SoloPoly](https://solopoly.net/) blog.
- *Love in a F*ked up World* by [Dean Spade](https://www.deanspade.net/books/)
- *What Love Is And What It Could Be* (2017) by [Carrie Jenkins](https://www.carriejenkins.net/)
- [Trauma Informed Polyamory](https://shop.clementinemorrigan.com/product/trauma-informed-polyamory-digital) - a zine by Clementine Morrigan 
- *[The Art of the Hookup](https://www.artofthehookup.com/)* by Georgia Wolf (2019)
- [*Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships* (2023)](https://bookshop.org/p/books/multiamory-essential-tools-for-modern-relationships-dedeker-winston/18567475?ean=9781627783200&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.multiamory.com%2F&source=IndieBound&title=Multiamory%3A+Essential+Tools+for+Modern+Relationships) by Jase Lindgren, Dedeker Winston, and Emily Sotelo Matlack (hosts of the long-running [Multiamory Podcast]([Multiamory crew](https://www.multiamory.com))
- [Better Work Together](https://betterworktogether.co/) (2018) edited by Susan Basterfield and Anthony Cabraal, with co-authors Billy Matheson, Gina Rembe-Stevens, Nick Laurence, Sandra Otto, Doris Zuur, Lucy Carver, John Gieryn, Phoebe Tickell, Charley Davenport, and Lucas Tauil de Freitas.
- [Moose Heads on the Table](https://mooseheadsonthetable.com/) (2020) by Karin Tenelius and Lisa Gill 
- [Solo - Building A Remarkable Life Of Your Own](https://petermcgraw.org/romance-and-love-as-a-solo) by Peter McGraw
- [Kitestring](www.kitestring.org) - a research report featuring 3 insights about the practices that develop close friendships  


## Educators - Peer Support, Workshops, Classes, Collectives, & Resources Development 
A sample of the various workshops, classes, and other forms of professional support that are available for navigating relationships that don't fit into the default expectations. 
- [Cripping Up Sex](https://www.crippingupsexwitheva.com/) classes, consultations, and workshops by Eva Sweeney (online)
- Dr Ayesha Khan  offers Healing in Community group sessions, for example see the workshop on [Practicing Relationship Anarchy & Finding Friends](https://www.ayesha-khan.com/workshop/p/practicing-relationship-anarchy-finding-friends-heal-in-community-group-session)- recording available
- Laila R. Makled, via [out there communication](https://outtherecommunication.net/)
- [Relational Skills for Liberation - a Self-paced Workbook](https://www.christabelmintahgalloway.com/workbook) by Christabel Mintah Galloway (who also offers a 2-hour immersive [relational skills building workshop](https://www.christabelmintahgalloway.com/workshop))
- [Non-monogamy Peer Support Sessions](https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/peer-support) with Michelle Hay from *Polyamorous while Asian* - prioritising BIPOC and other largely underrepresented groups in non-monogamy communities.  
- [SL&RR: Sexual Lives and Respectful Relationships Resources](https://www.slrr.com.au/) - SL&RR is a program for people with intellectual disability that focuses on talking and learning about sexuality and relationship rights, sexual health, and violence and abuse prevention. It was developed in collaboration with people with intellectual disability and University researchers, and is delivered using a peer education model.
- [Genevieve King](https://www.patreon.com/chillpolyamory) - creating resources and providing peer-support for practicing polyamory
- [Anne Hunter](http://www.annehunter.com.au/polyamory-education/), an an experienced relationship coach and educator who, along with leadership coach [Tathra Street](https://tathrastreet.com/), developed the *Relationship Toolbelt* (currently off-line). 
- [Curious Creatures](https://www.curiouscreatures.biz) workshops and community practices (Melbourne and online).
- Georgia Woolk's [Art of the Hookup](https://www.artofthehookup.com/) workshops and advice (Melbourne)
- [Consent Culture Labs](https://www.consentculture.com.au/) (Melbourne)
- [Creating Epic Relationships Program](https://conorandbrittany.com/creating-epic-relationships/) by Conner & Brittany (online)  
- [Evita Sawyers](https://www.patreon.com/LavitalocaSawyers), creator of ["Today’s Polyamory Reminders"](https://www.instagram.com/lavitaloca34/), writer, and personal coach.  
- [Marjani Lane](https://www.marjanilane.com/) - "...a person and a brand focused on the education of ethical non monogamy & alternative lovestyles while emphasizing Black representation and voices in that content."
- [Kathy Laboriola](http://www.kathylabriola.com/) - counsellor (California) and author. 
- Mel Cassidy at [Radical Relationship Coaching](http://radicalrelationshipcoaching.ca/) offers course, workshops, and coaching (Canada and online)
- [Building a solid foundation for non-monogamy course](https://dedekerwinston.teachable.com/) by Dedeker Winston
- Marie Thouin's [dating coaching service](https://www.loveinsight-dating.com/)
- Nancy Shanteau's [Skills for Changemakers](https://www.patreon.com/nancyshanteau) classes, workshops, & tools (online) 
- [Remodeled Love Support Groups](https://www.remodeledlove.com/polyamorysupport.html)
- Morgan Thorne's [BDSM Relationships & Education](http://msmorganthorne.com/) (Canada and online).
- [Kink and Poly Aware Chicago Therapists (KPACT)](https://www.kpact.xyz/) - "a resource-sharing and discussion group for therapists who acknowledge and celebrate sexual and gender diversity as well as alternative relationship constellations".
- Shaun Miller at [@coffeandresearch](https://www.instagram.com/coffeeandresearch/) on Instagram
- [Tristan Taormino](http://tristantaormino.com/about-tristan/) - a sex educator, author, host of the Sex Out Loud podcast, and maintainer of [Opening-up.net](https://openingup.net/about/)
 
## Blogs 
Some of the many blogs (and vlogs) where people are sharing experiences of relating outside of their societal norms.
- [Alicia Bunyan-Sampson](http://aliciabunyansampson.com/) blog, the [Polyamorousblackgirl blog](https://polyamorousblackgirl.com/) and book *No Filter: Diary Of A Polyamorous Black girl* (2019) 
- [Evita Sawyers](https://www.patreon.com/LavitalocaSawyers), who blogs as [Evita Lavitaloca Sawyers](https://medium.com/@evitalavitalocasawyers).
- Marie Thouin's blog [What is Compersion?](https://www.whatiscompersion.com/)
- Mel Cassidy at the [Radical Relationships blog](http://radicalrelationshipcoaching.ca/new-paradigm-blog/)
- Kale at the [Relationship Anarchy blog](http://www.relationship-anarchy.com). 
- Jenny Wilson at [Love Off Script blog](http://loveoffscript.co.uk/love-off-script-blog/)
- [Autumn Elizabeth](https://medium.com/@Autumn_Elizabeth)'s writings
- [Zarinah Agnew](https://medium.com/@like_antennas_to_heaven)'s writings 
- [J Koyanagi](http://jkoyanagi.com/bio/)'s closed-captioned [vlog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE9WWpniIns) that includes 101 explanations about ENM relationships.
- [Riley J. Dennis](https://www.youtube.com/c/RileyJayDennis)'s vlog about the intersections of being trans and other experiences. 
- [Annie Eliany](https://www.youtube.com/user/theannieelainey/search?query=relationship)'s vlog about the intersections of being disabled and other experiences. 
- Jessi Librande's [Everyday Consent](https://www.youtube.com/c/EverydayConsent/videos) vlog. 
- Michelle Hay's [*Polyamorous while Asian* YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/@polyamorouswhileasian2827/about) focusing on amplifying BIPOC voices, which are sorely underrepresented in non-monogamous communities.

## Podcasts
Examples of the range of podcasts exploring concepts and interviewing people in relation to navigating relationships.
- [Rich Queer Aunties Podcast - Conversations Rooted in Love, Rage, and Liberation](https://www.christabelmintahgalloway.com/podcast)
- [Multiamory](https://www.multiamory.com/podcast), a long-running and constantly evolving podcast on navigating multiple relationships and improving communication practices.
- 'Labels Of Love', hosted by [Carrie Jenkins](https://www.carriejenkins.net/)
- [Share the Load](https://consentwizardry.com/share-the-load-podcast-1), hosted by Mia Schachter, from Consent.Wizardy, 'explores all things consent, including and beyond sex'.
- [The Art of the Hookup ](https://www.artofthehookup.com/) hosted by Georgia Wolf
- [Running Wild with Christine](https://anchor.fm/runningwildwithchristine) - "a sex-positive, intersectional and inclusive podcast about life" hosted by Christine Wild.
- [MasculiniTea](https://shows.acast.com/the-masculinitea-podcast/) hosted by Mel Cassidy.
- [Curious Conversations About Sex](https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/curiousconversationsaboutsex_podcast.html) hosted by the Curious Creatures Team. 
- [The Hookup](https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs/the-hook-up-podcast), hosted by Nat Tencic
- [Sex Out Loud](http://tristantaormino.com/sex-out-loud/about/), hosted by [Tristan Taormino](http://tristantaormino.com/)
- [Leadermorphosis](https://leadermorphosis.co/), for a connecting point with intentional relationships see episode where Lisa Gill and Ted Rau discuss the [Parallels between Relationship Anarchy and Self-manageming Orgnaisations](https://leadermorphosis.co/pages/episodes/ted-rau-on-parallels-between-relationship-anarchy-and-self-management).
- [Solo - the single person’s guide to a remarkable life](https://petermcgraw.org/romance-and-love-as-a-solo) 

## Comics, Games, Films, & Poems
A sample of the art being made that celebrates the many different ways that we can form relationships. 
- [Kimchi Cuddles Comics](https://www.tikvawolf.com/comics/) by [Tikva Wolf](https://www.tikvawolf.com/), who is also responsible for the [Polycule Orbit Game](https://www.tikvawolf.com/games/) and many other resources on diverse approaches to relationships.
- [Design For Living (1933)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8rAnTdvG0k&feature=youtu.be), a film with about a three people navigating the equally important relationships they each have with the other two.
- [Consent at an Orgy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WnxIHBcbsw), a poem by Hal Simons (2019) - starting ~6min into the live-recorded set.
- [Trigonometry](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8000970/) - a tv series from the perspective of three people who each fall in love with the other two. Season 1 (2020) explores the way the three people each navigate the unexpectedness of thier triad within the context of the existing relationships with each other, friends, family, and co-workers.  
- She's Gotta Have It  - [tv series, (2017-2019)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3713588/) about "a woman and her three lovers" - (based on of the [1986 film](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091939/)).
- The [#HowManyCampaign](https://polyamorousblackgirl.com/thehowmanycampaign) - a collaboration between [Alicia Bunyan-Sampson](http://aliciabunyansampson.com/) and [Dr. Justin Clardy](https://www.instagram.com/UrFavFilosopher/) "a series of playlists; disclosures and video analyses, this project will explore content that deals with non-monogamy and/or polyamory among Black Culture in the Americas in both explicit and subtle ways."
- Illustrated reflections on life in the margins by [Jokko](https://www.instagram.com/jokko_art/), [Sara Valta](https://www.instagram.com/sarasadeart/), and [Sylvia Odhner](https://www.dontgetanyideas.com/comic/20191129)
- The wonderful poetry by [Hal Simons](https://www.patreon.com/TheBrainOfHal), which touches on many topics, including relationships and chronic pain, and have been collected into a book ['Five Stages'](https://www.amazon.com.au/Five-Stages-Hal-Simons-ebook/dp/B07SV6KR95/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1597290731&refinements=p_27%3AHal+Simons&s=digital-text&sr=1-2&text=Hal+Simons), and are [available as recordings](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYYA6ElbJX4Bbc92GE301zw).  
![Image is a photo of three copies of the zine, *Love and Other Adventures*, overlapping each other, on top of purple fabric](https://i.imgur.com/eMnvepJ.png)

## Adjacent Resources
A sample of general resources on topics that overlap with relationships (like resisting norms around identity, gender, disability, sexuality, etc.,). 

- [Teaching outside the binary](https://www.teachingoutsidethebinary.com/)
- On how [relationships are the glue of organising](https://commonslibrary.org/relationships-are-the-glue-of-organising/) and fighting for better futures together. 
- Ableist terms - these are terms that perpetuate harmful associations about disability. For more details, see [Lʏᴅɪᴀ X. Z. Bʀᴏᴡɴ](https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html) at the Autistic Choya blog (created in 2012; updated 2020) and the [Disabled Feminists ableist word profile series](http://disabledfeminists.com/2010/05/24/ableist-word-profile-why-i-write-about-ableist-language/) (2010).
- [Everyday Feminism blog](https://everydayfeminism.com/) 
- [Social Justice Toolkit](https://www.drake.edu/diversity/getinvolved/resources/social-justice-toolkit/)
- [Transgender primer](https://www.translanguageprimer.org/primer)
- [Our Queer Stories](https://ourqueerstories.com/)
- [Flagging Opinicus Rampant](https://flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com/) blog
- [Kink Clinical Practice Guidelines Project](https://www.kinkguidelines.com/)  

![KimchiChuddles#834](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e93dff1d672e34b344aec158a6ab7331/tumblr_pv1qjmynKC1spe4pno1_1280.jpg) 
 
I've also got a link-dump of more [general recommendations](/@Teq/recommendations)

## Next Steps
- Return to the [Overview of Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/Overview)
- Return to the [List of Contents](https://hackmd.io/@IntentionalRelationships/ContentsPage) for Resources for Customising Intentional Relationships 

## Attribution & Contact
See [attribution notes and contact details](/hiL09et4RMebuQWFyTN7uQ)  
<a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/"><img alt="Creative Commons License" style="border-width:0" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc-sa/4.0/88x31.png" /></a> [CC BY-NC-SA](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/)




