---
# System prepended metadata

title: Bottoms Up feedback.

---

# Bottoms Up feedback.

![image](https://hackmd.io/_uploads/HkDd62ztp.png)


## Describe in one word

The one-word descriptions for the "Bottoms Up!" event provided by attendees convey a mix of positive and profound experiences. Key themes include:

1. **Emotional Depth:** Words like "Warm," "Beautiful," "Cathartic," and "Love <3" suggest a deep emotional resonance with the event.
2. **Intensity and Impact:** Several mentions of "Intense," along with "Transformative" and "Epic," indicate a powerful, potentially life-changing experience.
3. **Connections:** The repeated use of "Connections," "Connective," and "Connection" highlights the significance of interpersonal relationships formed or strengthened during the event.
4. **Unique Experiences:** Descriptions like "Roman orgy," "Culty," and "Geestverruimend" (mind-expanding) suggest unique, perhaps unconventional experiences.
5. **Positive Vibes:** Terms like "Memorable," "Chill," "Lovely," "Enlightening," and "Magic" reflect a positive and enlightening atmosphere.

Overall, these descriptions paint a picture of an event that is emotionally impactful, deeply connecting, and transformative, with a mix of intensity and positivity.

## Did you have issues with certain people or behavior at the event? 

The feedback on issues with certain people or behavior at the "Bottoms Up!" event varies, with some attendees noting specific concerns while others did not experience any problems. Here's a summary:

### Reported Issues
1. **Interpersonal Dynamics:** Some attendees noted general issues with a few participants being more like "consumers" than active participants, and one mentioned getting caught in the middle of a couple's drama.
2. **Consent and Boundaries:** Concerns were raised about non-consensual touching and the challenges of giving informed consent, especially in the context of drug use.
3. **Drug Use:** Drug use was noted as excessive by at least one attendee, raising concerns about its impact on consent and safety.
4. **Space Utilization:** There were instances where designated spaces (like the cosy space) were used for purposes (such as sex) that conflicted with the needs of others seeking a retreat.
5. **Cultural and Behavioral Differences:** Observations were made about the natural clash of different characters when people mix. Some experienced distance or a lack of understanding between people of different sexual orientations or abilities.
6. **Post-Event Perceptions:** Issues were noted regarding how some new attendees perceived the event, treating it more as entertainment rather than a group effort.

### No Issues Reported
- A significant number of responses indicated no issues with people or behavior, suggesting a generally positive experience for these attendees.

### Personal Challenges
- One attendee expressed a personal struggle with self-acceptance.

Overall, while many attendees did not report issues, those who did highlighted concerns about interpersonal dynamics, consent, drug use, and the use of shared spaces, reflecting areas for potential improvement in future events.

## What topics would you like to see more of at our next event?

The feedback on desired topics for the next "Bottoms Up!" event reflects a range of interests, primarily focusing on skill development, safety, and interpersonal connections. Here’s a summary:

### Skill Development and Workshops
1. **Active Bottoming:** Interest in structured workshops on active bottoming, suggesting a desire for more engagement and skills for those in the submissive role.
2. **Technical Skills:** Requests for technical ties and rope techniques, indicating a keen interest in enhancing rope bondage skills.
3. **Consent:** Multiple mentions of consent workshops, highlighting the importance of understanding and practicing consent in interactions.
4. **Rope Bondage:** Specific interest in Shibari workshops, peer rope sessions for exchanging experiences and techniques, and exploration of more complex or intense rope practices like semi-suspensions and rough rope.

### Communication and Emotional Connection
1. **Interpersonal Dynamics:** Suggestions for workshops on how to connect, initiate interactions, and effectively communicate desires and boundaries.
2. **Emotional Connection:** Emphasis on understanding and fostering emotional connections in the context of the activities.

### Safety and Awareness
1. **Awareness for Bottoms:** Ideas for workshops on potential dangers associated with activities like rope bondage, emphasizing the importance of communication and setting boundaries.
2. **Safety Practices:** Requests for more focus on safety, including tips and tricks for safe practice.

### General Feedback
- Several attendees expressed satisfaction with the current range of topics, indicating that the existing content was well-received.
- Suggestions for more activities to facilitate connections between new and existing participants, possibly addressing the lower activity levels due to situational constraints.

Overall, the feedback shows a desire for a balanced blend of skill development, deeper understanding of consent and safety, and fostering emotional and interpersonal connections. There's also an appreciation for the current offerings, with some interest in expanding the variety and depth of topics.

## What activities would you like to see more of at our next event?

The feedback regarding desired activities for the next "Bottoms Up!" event reveals a strong interest in both interactive and skill-based sessions, with an emphasis on fostering new connections and enhancing existing skills. Here's a summary:

### Interactive and Social Activities
1. **Connecting Events:** Many attendees expressed a desire for more activities that facilitate connecting with new people, like the blind rope activity, which was specifically praised for creating memorable connections.
2. **Ice Breaker Games:** Suggestions for games or activities designed to help attendees get to know each other better.
3. **Group Sessions:** Interest in more group sessions, both for learning new skills and for social interaction.
4. **Cuddle Puddles:** Several mentions of cuddle puddles or cuddle pile dinners, indicating a desire for relaxed, intimate social interactions.

### Skill Enhancement and Workshops
1. **Rope Workshops:** A strong interest in rope-related activities, including workshops and short group rope sessions where multiple people can work together.
2. **Skill Sharing:** Requests for sessions where participants can share their unique approaches to common ties or techniques, fostering both skill development and personal expression.

### New and Unique Activities
1. **Tantra-Inspired Activities:** Interest in tantra or similar activities, suggesting a desire for sessions that blend spirituality, intimacy, and sensuality.
2. **Mingle Activities:** Suggestions for more activities that encourage mingling and interaction, such as a more visible or earlier wishboard to facilitate connections.
3. **Innovative Interaction Activities:** Interest in activities like "the ritual" that invite interaction with people one might not normally engage with.
4. 
### General Feedback
- Some attendees expressed satisfaction with the current range of activities, indicating that the event was already enjoyable and well-received.
- Specific mentions of enjoying facilities like the jacuzzi, suggesting appreciation for both structured and leisure activities.

Overall, the feedback reflects a desire for a blend of social and skill-based activities, with a strong emphasis on fostering new connections and deepening interpersonal interactions. Attendees appreciate the current offerings and are interested in seeing more innovative and engaging activities in future events.

## Do you have any ideas on how we can improve our consent framework?

The feedback on the consent framework at the "Bottoms Up!" event suggests that many attendees were satisfied with the existing approach, while others offered constructive suggestions for improvement. Here's a summary:

### Positive Feedback
- A significant number of responses indicate that the current consent framework is effective and well-received. Phrases like "good as it goes," "already great," and "very nice" suggest general satisfaction.

### Suggestions for Improvement
1. **Visual Indicators:** The idea of using colored bands or bracelets to visually indicate consent preferences, roles (top/bottom), and openness to interaction. This could involve different colors representing different roles or consent types (e.g., green for top, yellow for bottom, etc.), potentially combined with personal identifiers like names or initials.
2. **Clarity and Communication:** Feedback on the need for clearer explanations and better communication about the consent framework. One attendee felt that the concept of "implicit" consent was not well-explained.
3. **Inclusivity and Sensitivity:** Consideration for neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma or PTSD, emphasizing the need for a consent framework that accommodates varying abilities to navigate consent.
4. **Substance Use:** Suggestions to discourage drug, alcohol, or substance use before engaging in activities to ensure informed and coherent consent.
5. **Consent Role Distribution:** The idea of having more than one person responsible for overseeing consent-related matters to distribute the responsibility and provide more support.
6. **Safeword Visibility:** A proposal to have a visible marker for individuals who don’t use standard safewords like "stop" or "red," particularly during parties.

### General Feedback
- Some attendees emphasized the importance of discussing and understanding consent as a community, suggesting a broader, ongoing conversation on the topic.

Overall, while the existing consent framework is well-regarded, there is room for enhancement, particularly in the areas of visual communication, inclusivity, and support structures. These suggestions aim to make consent more accessible, clear, and tailored to the diverse needs of the event's participants.

## What did you do to make others feel safe?

The attendees of the "Bottoms Up!" event took various actions to foster a safe and inclusive environment. Here's a summary of the responses:

### Respect and Politeness
- Basic courtesy like being polite and respectful was commonly mentioned, reflecting an understanding of the fundamental importance of respectful behavior in creating a safe space.

### Consent and Boundaries
- **Asking for Consent:** Many attendees emphasized the importance of checking in and asking for consent before engaging in any activities, particularly physical ones like cuddling or rope play.
- **Respecting Boundaries:** Taking others' boundaries seriously, whether in conversations or physical interactions, was a key aspect of ensuring safety.

### Support and Empathy
- **Providing Emotional Support:** Offering a shoulder to lean on, listening to others' stories, and being there for emotional support were common themes.
- **Non-Judgmental Attitude:** Many highlighted the importance of not judging others based on their preferences, actions, or identities, fostering an atmosphere of acceptance.

### Inclusivity and Engagement
- **Engaging with Everyone:** Actively involving themselves in group activities, talking to everyone, and being open to different types of play to ensure no one felt left out or isolated.
- **Fostering Comfort:** Efforts to make others comfortable, like giving compliments, sharing laughs, and maintaining a friendly demeanor.

### Space and Privacy
- Recognizing when to give others space and privacy, understanding that sometimes people need room to themselves.

### Communication and Feedback
- Regular check-ins to ensure others were feeling okay, offering help where needed, and providing feedback or appreciation during and after interactions.

Overall, the attendees' actions focused on creating a safe, respectful, and inclusive environment. This was achieved through mindful communication, empathetic support, and a commitment to respecting and understanding the boundaries and needs of others.

## What did you most enjoy about the event?

The feedback on what attendees enjoyed most about the "Bottoms Up!" event highlights the positive atmosphere, connections made, and activities participated in. Here's a summary:

### Positive Atmosphere and Vibe
- **General Vibe:** A recurring theme was the enjoyment of the event's overall vibe, described as welcoming, open, and inclusive.
- **Atmosphere and Environment:** Appreciation for the atmosphere and the safe space created, allowing attendees to disconnect from everyday life and immerse themselves in the event.

### Connections and Interactions
- **Making New Connections:** Many attendees cherished the connections they made, both with new people and through deeper interactions with existing acquaintances.
- **Meeting People:** The opportunity to meet a variety of individuals was highlighted as a special aspect of the event.

### Activities and Experiences
- **Rope Play:** Specific enjoyment of rope-related activities, indicating a strong interest in this aspect of the event.
- **Cuddles and Physical Contact:** Enjoyment of physical affection, such as cuddling, which contributed to the overall positive experience.
- **Learning and Discovery:** Participants valued learning new things, particularly about rope play and other forms of interaction.

### Specific Aspects
- **Music and Setting:** The music and the cozy, relaxed setting of the event were specifically mentioned, contributing to the pleasant environment.
- **Organized Activities:** Although the event had a relaxed "Alles kan niks moet" (everything is possible, but nothing is mandatory) approach, the organized activities were also appreciated.

### Overall Experience
- **Difficulty in Choosing a Single Aspect:** Some attendees expressed that they enjoyed everything about the event, finding it hard to pinpoint just one aspect.

Overall, the feedback reflects a deep appreciation for the welcoming and inclusive atmosphere, the opportunity to form meaningful connections, and the range of activities available, all of which contributed to a memorable and enjoyable experience for the attendees.

## What was your best moment at the event?

The best moments at the "Bottoms Up!" event were diverse and deeply personal for each attendee, reflecting a range of experiences that were memorable and impactful. Here's a summary:

### Specific Activities and Experiences
- **End Ceremony:** The closing ceremony was a highlight for several attendees, marking a significant and memorable moment.
- **Rope Tying:** Moments related to rope play, such as tying with specific individuals or blind tying, were cherished.
- **Intimate and Emotional Connections:** Deeply personal interactions, including heartfelt moments with individuals and engaging in intimate group play.
- **Ritual Participation:** The ritual activity was mentioned multiple times as a best moment, appreciated for its intensity and emotional depth.
- **Learning and Sharing:** Enjoy

ment from learning and sharing skills, such as in wax play and sharing toys or knowledge.
- **Physical Intimacy:** Some attendees highlighted specific instances of physical intimacy, like play fighting, primal play, or more explicit activities, as their best moments.

### Social and Relaxing Times
- **Jacuzzi Relaxation:** Time spent relaxing in the jacuzzi was a highlight for some, indicating the value of leisure and social relaxation.
- **Social Interactions:** General social time, including late evening atmospheres and the social aspect of the jacuzzi.

### Personal Achievements and Discoveries
- **Self-Discovery:** Attendees enjoyed moments of self-discovery, such as realizing new interests or preferences.
- **Personal Milestones:** For some, receiving a collar or engaging in a specific activity for the first time was a significant and memorable moment.

Overall, the best moments varied greatly among attendees, ranging from deeply emotional and intimate connections to fun and relaxing social interactions, indicating a rich and diverse experience at the event.

## What did you most dislike about the event? 

The feedback on what attendees disliked about the "Bottoms Up!" event highlights various aspects, from logistical issues to personal experiences. Here's a summary:

### Logistical and Facility Issues
- **Cold Jacuzzi and Heating Problems:** Discomfort due to a cold jacuzzi and heating issues in the bedrooms.
- **Food Concerns:** Some dissatisfaction with the food, either due to expectations based on past events or preferences for healthier options like more vegetables.
- **Toilet Hygiene:** Complaints about the smelliness of the toilets.
- **Noise and Overstimulation:** Issues with loud music and being overstimulated by lights and noises at times.

### Event Scheduling and Organization
- **Timing of Activities:** Discomfort with the scheduling of certain activities, like the open jam following an emotional sharing session, and the delay in starting events or announcements.
- **Time Management:** Feeling that too much time was spent on preparing for certain activities, such as the ritual, which impacted the overall playtime.

### Personal Experiences and Regrets
- **Leaving Early or Event Ending:** Sadness about the event ending or having to leave early.
- **Personal Fears and Regrets:** An attendee's own fear of asking others to play and regret over not participating in more activities, indicating personal barriers or missed opportunities.

### Miscellaneous
- **Individual Behaviors:** A mention of encountering 'snowflakes,' possibly referring to behaviors or attitudes of some participants.
- **Overwhelm and Sensory Issues:** Being overwhelmed due to the event's intensity and sensory inputs.

Overall, while there were aspects that attendees disliked, these were varied and often specific to individual preferences or sensitivities. Issues like facility comforts, food quality, and scheduling were common themes, alongside personal experiences and regrets.

## If you would organize this thing what would you do different?

The feedback on what attendees would do differently if they were organizing the "Bottoms Up!" event covers a range of suggestions, focusing on structure, amenities, and personal preferences. Here's a summary:

### Event Structure and Timing
- **Adjusting Activities:** Some would eliminate the open jam, especially at the end, to maintain the emotional cohesion of the group.
- **Clearer Schedule Communication:** A suggestion to make sure everyone knows the event duration well in advance.
- **Sticking to Planned Times:** More adherence to scheduled times for events to maintain order and predictability.
- **Extend Event Duration:** A desire to make the event last longer.

### Food and Kitchen Management
- **Healthier Food Options:** Several attendees would focus on providing more nutritious and diverse food options, including vegan choices.
- **Better Organization in Food Preparation:** Suggestions for more organization in managing kitchen shifts and meal preparation.

### Sensory Considerations
- **Adjusting Light and Sound:** Recommendations for more sensory-friendly lighting and sound, especially in areas meant for relaxation or play.
- **Outdoor Breaks:** The idea of incorporating outdoor activities, like morning walks or group games, to provide a change of environment and encourage physical activity.

### Specific Event Features
- **Music and Atmosphere:** Paying more attention to the selection of music to better match the event's mood and environment.
- **Separate Spaces for Different Activities:** Creating distinct areas for meetings and play to avoid conflicts in usage.

### Inclusivity and Space Utilization
- **Addressing Personal Issues:** Encouraging conversations about personal problems to prevent negative reflections on others.
- **Ritual Space Management:** Considering making the ritual occupy less physical space to avoid crowding and ensure everyone has room to participate in their activities.

### General Management and Improvement
- **Professional Kitchen Staff:** Employing a kitchen staff for meal preparation to ensure quality and efficiency.
- **Event Day Changes:** Suggestions for changing the days of the week for specific events and activities within the program.

Overall, while many attendees were satisfied with the event's organization, these suggestions focus on enhancing the overall experience through better scheduling, food management, sensory considerations, and space utilization, aiming to make the event more enjoyable and accessible for all participants.

## How can we make this event more inclusive?

The feedback on making the "Bottoms Up!" event more inclusive reveals that many attendees already found the event quite inclusive, while others offered specific suggestions for further improvement. Here's a summary:

### Positive Feedback on Inclusivity
- **Already Inclusive:** Several attendees felt the event was already inclusive and safe, highlighting respectful treatment and the welcoming atmosphere for people of diverse genders and orientations.
- **Praise for Current Size:** The current number of attendees was seen as ideal for fostering connectivity and inclusivity.

### Suggestions for Enhancement
1. **Diversity and Representation:** A call for more representation, especially from the queer community, to further diversify the participant base.
2. **Revisiting Exclusion Policies:** Suggestion to reassess past exclusion decisions, allowing for the possibility of change and second chances.
3. **Dedicated Quiet Spaces:** The creation of aftercare or quiet spaces separate from noisy areas for those who need a break or are sensitive to sensory overload.
4. **Ice Breakers and Mixing Activities:** Early ice breaker activities or matchmaking sessions to encourage mixing beyond existing groups.
5. **Sensory Considerations:** Adjusting the music volume for those with sensory processing issues and providing warnings before sudden loud music.
6. **Clearer Communication of Inclusivity:** Suggestions to explicitly state the event's queer-friendly and welcoming nature in descriptions and invites.
7. **Accessibility for Physical Disabilities:** Considering physical accessibility to make the event inclusive for individuals with disabilities.

### General Perception
- **Sense of Belonging:** Many attendees expressed a strong sense of inclusivity and belonging at the event, indicating that the current environment is largely perceived as welcoming and accepting.

Overall, while the event is generally seen as inclusive and welcoming, these suggestions focus on enhancing inclusivity through representation, sensory considerations, explicit communication about the event's nature, and revisiting exclusion policies. The aim is to ensure that everyone, regardless of their background or needs, feels equally welcome and accommodated.


## Please share your thoughts on the event as a whole. Feel free to add anything you'd like to.

The overall thoughts on the "Bottoms Up!" event from attendees are overwhelmingly positive, with many expressing deep appreciation and memorable experiences. Here's a summary:

### Positive Experiences and Emotions
- **Safe and Welcoming Atmosphere:** Attendees felt safe and welcomed, with some highlighting the respectful treatment and acceptance of their identities.
- **Emotional Impact:** The event was emotionally impactful, with attendees feeling a lot and appreciating the space to express emotions openly.
- **Strong Connections:** The creation of new connections and the warmth of the community were highly valued.
- **Memorable Moments:** Many described the event as unforgettable, with special mentions of specific activities and moments.

### Suggestions for Improvement
- **Kitchen Organization:** Suggestions for better organization of kitchen staff to utilize participants' expertise and provide more variety in meals.
- **Activity and Interaction Enhancements:** Ideas for more engaging activities, better ice-breakers, and ways to facilitate interactions, especially for newcomers.
- **Rope Play and Activities:** Some expected more rope-related activities and suggested organizing more sessions throughout the day.
- **Facility and Amenities Adjustments:** Recommendations for improvements in facilities, such as music volume, lighting, and sensory-friendly spaces.

### General Praise
- **Overall Event Quality:** The event was described as awesome, amazing and an incredible experience by many attendees.
- **Inclusivity and Diversity:** The event was praised for its inclusivity and the diversity of participants and activities.
- **Organizational Excellence:** The efforts of the organizer, Hans, and the crew were frequently commended for creating such a well-arranged and enjoyable event.

### Personal Growth and Discovery
- **Self-Discovery:** Attendees appreciated the opportunity for personal growth and stepping out of their comfort zones in a supportive environment.
- **Building Friendships:** The event facilitated the creation of new friendships and deepening of existing relationships.

### Reflections and Writings
- Some attendees mentioned they had shared or planned to share more extensive impressions and writings on platforms like Fetlife, indicating the event's significant impact on them.

### Gratitude and Anticipation
- **Expressions of Gratitude:** There was a strong sense of gratitude for the experience and the people involved.
- **Looking Forward:** Many attendees expressed eagerness to participate in future events, reflecting a strong attachment to the community and the experiences it offers.

Overall, the feedback indicates that "Bottoms Up!" was a highly successful event, cherished for its emotional depth, strong community bonds, and inclusive atmosphere. Suggestions for improvement were offered in a constructive manner, showing a desire to enhance an already valued experience.





