# The Plan

## What's your 'family planning' goals?
Sakinah, Mawaddah, Warahmah

## How do u prefer communicating the matters
> Just try to settle the problem in the end of the day and not to carry forward for the next day. I wont know your problem unless you tell

I prefer to communicate it by talking directly or indirectly in case anything that I do annoy you. Story aside during college, I used to sleep side by side with my housemate from Kosovo. So at night, we talked about everything that bothered us, story back at home, war, general knowledge.

Reflecting from this, I see it as a good way and I kinda enjoy it in *Pillow Talk*. I also remembered, he talked to me indirectly for something I did wrong in the house by saying *"I think if you can, you should...."* similar goes to him. In the end, we got the message and we tried to improve.

## How do you manage your expectation?
1. I think honesty and communication are the keys here.
- We need to know:
- **What can we do? What we like?** -> *E.g. I can cook, I can eat haha.*
- **What we cant do? what we dont like?** -> *E.g. I cant do fixing electrical or mechanical stuffs, and maybe you can do.*
- **Is it doable? Is it realistic?** -> E.g going to the Moon and Mars to find blackhole.
- **Then what you and I want to do next?** -> in case if we have something new come up during the journey then we discuss the outcome.
- In general always have **plan A, B or C**, tho there's no guarantee that it will work 100%. We just dont want to point a finger for any decision if things goes wrong. Either success or wrong, it depends on us.

2. Always give kudos, saying thanks, appreciation for all the things we've done. Always support each other. It's an expression of love that I think we both are bad at it of saying **'I love you'**.

4. Sometimes 'laziness' comes during the journey, we can compromise for a couple of days to be lazy. In case if you want to have "me time", just let me know, I can pull myself out from your space.

5. I dont always lead the family and if you are capable for certain things you wanna lead, I let you lead and make decision (after discussion).
6. Empathy, patience, listen. Dont be shy to talk and share if something is bothering us.

6. Alocate a time in our busy days everyday.

7. Family = both families, inclusively and exclusively. (Keluarga inti dan keluarga besar)
- In case if any of the family members bother us, try not to hate and judge. Just try to understand their POVs on why they are doing that. This case is something we cant control, we only control something that is controlable for us.

8. In case if there's problem between us (God forbid!), dont wont let anyone interference. If the problem is me, you talk to my mom, if the problem is you, I will talk to your mom to receive some advices. But before asking for advices, try to solve within ourselves.

9. In case we have arguments so intense, we both dont reply without listening, this is like saying words without the meaning and will make things get worse. We dont want to waste our energy.

10. Dont expect us to have the same ideas with what we have in mind, marriage is about 2 persons with 2 different brains and the ideas may not be similar. Things disagree, give the POV. discuss

11. Dont raise up our voice when we talk. Talk calmly, it will go directly through our hearts. Try to pull out if the discussion is getting intense.

13. By default, we have ability to compare with others, every person is unique, so try to avoid this comparison things. This actually can be toxic and it hurts the partner, this indicates that we dont do something good to each other.

14. Try to hide our flaws from outsiders, just cover each other. I may not be good in A thing, and you are good with A thing. vice versa

15. I am little bit annoying person (jahil :D), and I like to make jokes, so please understand haha. Do silly things with me lol dance? singing?

16. Dont be so egoistic and compete one another.

## And to be more practical how many (in score 1-10) do you prioritize family over your work?
Yes, I do.

1. Overall I give 8.5, and I am kinda family guy then family is very important for me. I try to do my best for them, I just do what I can do for them.

2. Both are important but its flexible to be honest. Unless something urgent I need to work a little bit more, but currently is very rare, maybe only 10% I did overwork for the past 2 years. Current company doesnt allow us to work more than working hours or in the weekend. But to be honest, I hope you understand the situation regarding the urgency (pahamlah kalo misal google down gimana :D)

3. I involve in IT industry where the technology is always growing, to keep updated therefore I put time allocation to study, of course there's portion lah ahaha I wont let you stay alone.